Clit & Pecker

Fornication, Illegal Substances, and Sugary Breakfast Cereal
(Originally written 10/1/2007)
If you are ever in the mood to read a book based entirely on opinion, I would recommend picking up Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. I bought based on the title alone and it is downright hilarious.

The book deals with a multitude of subjects which Klosterman deconstructs as a way to understand life and the world. Granted, there may be hundreds of books on the market just like this, but I haven't read those, so I cannot vouch for them.

Many of the subjects in the book are simply absurd, which of course, makes it all the more funny (such as how the Lakers/Celtics rivalry can be tied to everything, and how Saved by the Bell was able to be absolutely captivating and downright bad at the same time.) There was only one essay that I did not read, and this was due entirely to the appearance in the first paragraph of the sentence "Country music is awesome!" (This is a fallacy. Country music is not awesome.)

Despite that glaringly obvious bit of wrongness, I wholely recommend Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs as a diversion from your everyday life. Reading is fundamental, you know.

New Comic Book Day!
(Originally written 10/14/2007)

I am an avid comic book fan. I have been since I was ten years old. Know what got me into reading comics? The original Marvel Trading Cards. You remember them? They came out in 1990 and had images of all of Marvel's top characters, famous battles, and the cards of Spider-Man interviewing other heroes? They were the coolest. And after seeing all of the kids in school collecting them, I decided I wanted to join in the fun. And thus began my fall from grace.

I say that like it's a bad thing, but it really is not. Most of the best stories in my life were read in a 22-page layout with pictures and word balloons. My love for comics is what lead me to create this here website.

My point of all of this is to tell you, reader, what new comics I have been reading. I know that this may seem strange, being that this was written on a Sunday and comics come out on Wednesdays, but my schedule does not always allow me to get to the comic shoppe at that time, so I often have to wait a couple of weeks to pick them up.

What really stands out in my mind is Captain America: The Chosen. The story follows a soldier in present day fighting in our present war, and he begins to see and hear Captain America. Without going into detail, and giving away spoilers, the story is quite different from what I'd expected when I purchased it. I got the first two issues in a shot, and I am certainly happy with them.

Daredevil #100 was a pretty good issue. I got it because of the milestone; I am not a big Daredevil collector. But the art is the story makes it worthwhile. The story consists of a battle between DD and a villain named Mr. Fear, who is really nothing but a knock-off of DC's Scarecrow, but that is neither here nor there. DD gets a does of some "fear gas" and begins to hallucinate. The cool part is that each of the hallucinations is drawn by a different artist, including John Romita Sr. as well as other, top-notch artists.

On the downside, though, is that crap that Chris Claremont has been churning out. What happened to this guy? He used to be a great writer for Marvel, but now all he does is garbage. I refer to his current run on Exiles and New Excalibur. I dropped New Excalibur after about issue 6 because it made me want to vomit, which is a shame because it involves some cool characters. Exiles, on the other hand, is a comic that I have always enjoyed, but since Claremont came aboard, well, it's not the same at all. I swear, Chris is in love with Psylocke, seeing as how he cannot let her go. He brings he back from the dead a few years back in one of the X-Men titles (I forget which; I think it was Uncanny) and ever since then, he has seemed to make it a point to write her into whatever story he is working on. Psylocke is cool and all, but not that much. She does not need to be a member of the Exiles.

That's all that I have so far. I purchased many more comics than this but, mind you, I have yet to read them. I may post some of my thoughts about them; I may wait until something really strikes me. We will see how it goes.

The Impending Arrival of All Hallow's Eve

(Originally written 10/21/2007)

As I type this there is a mere ten days left until the pagan holiday of Halloween arrives. And, man, I couldn't be more excited.

I have always loved Halloween. Maybe it had something to do with the free candy (I was always kind of the fat kid). Maybe it was the dressing up in costumes and pretending to be something other than myself. But, either way, I always thought of Halloween as being "the shit."

Now that I am an adult, things are a little different for me, but I still like Halloween. Just yesterday, my girlfriend and I went pumpkin picking. (If you are in the area of Hackettstown, NJ, I suggest checking out Donaldson Farms. They have an awesome set-up there.) We got a few pumpkins ranging in sizes and we plan on carving those puppies up. The best part about carving pumpkins is not making the scary, funny, or cute little faces, but making pumpkin seeds. Anyone who has had pumpkin seeds knows how good they are, especially with a little Molly McButter salt. Mmmm, mmmm.

That's not all we do for Halloween. When we got home from the farm, I hung the lights out on the porch. I know it sounds corny, but I like coming home from work to see the ghosts and pumpkins and bats hanging out side my apartment. Especially now that it's dark when I finally get home, I can really see them well.
I also plan on constructing the Halloween-town set-up that my girlfriend and I got from Michael's, the arts and crafts store. We purchased most of the stuff last year, but we also picked up a few of the new 2007 additions. It looked very cool last year and I expect it to be better now.
Most people say that Halloween is a holiday for kids. I really won't argue this point because, to be quite honest, I still consider myself to be a kid. So my love for Halloween could not be classified as a thing of "immaturity," but is merely me acting my age.
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