At least once a week, but very erratic

June 27, 2015


Dear Prof. Lawrence,


I greet you with a truly amazing news!


It was purely by mistake, I was doing my routine check-ups of the electron-synchrotron machine and eating my favorite pasta while at it.


So, I fired up the electron beam as was required for the check-up. I hear Polly squawked behind me, as if she knows something would happen.


As I was pulling the magnetic ring levitator lever, little Erwin began scratching my pants, trying to have a piece of my pasta. I raise my hand, to keep my food away from the hungry cat.


But then, Polly was able to peck at it from her cage. I tried to pull away from the cat and the bird but I tripped on one of the electric lines and I threw the pasta into one of the impact chambers.


It was then that the miracle happened! The probe detected a new particle, with zero mass, no spin and no charge and yet it remained in the chamber, not disintegrating, as if it had no antiparticle.


I looked at it using our electron picoscope, and there it is, our lives' greatest discovery...Its like strands of spaghetti with wings. You should see for your self. With your permission I would like to call it... The Flying Spaghetti Particle.


I've sent you some pictures from the lab.


Your Loyal Student,




PS. I apologize for what happened to your cat. He jumped into the chamber with the pasta and as of now, I still can't figure if he was dead or alive.

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