M/W/F plus extras
  • Did I just go there? Hell yeah!
  • See what I did there? That's my new year resolution! Indeed, it is the lowering of the level of humor to the lowest possible!
  • On that note: FART.
  • What a riveting tale! And so necessary to the story, too!
  • Galaxies have four arms: western, leftern, upper and dapper. This is science, so it cannot be contested.
  • Or explained.
  • Well, the dapper arm of the galaxy is sort of widdershins of the leftern, and that's all the explanation we got for this one.
  • That brolly don't look so jolly.
  • Also, that stuff behind Ms. Doomngloom? Not monitors. It's just paintings. As if they had enough budget for actual LIVE TV.
  • I'll just whistle innocently about this one.
  • Cheapskate.
  • If you're asking what's that squiggly-line stuff on Saturn, you evidently haven't been warned against asking questions about this comic.
  • Anyway, it's detail.
  • Yeah, just that.
  • Detail.
  • Detail is squiggly!
  • It feels like this conversation's been done many times before...
  • CHALLENGE!!!
  • Satanism? What could it possibly mean???
  • Sorry, assuming someone cares at all again.
  • Oh, don't look at me like that. I don't care either.
  • dude the devil is in this page no seriously what
  • Once again, I resort to whistling innocently...
  • Yeah, come on! It's just the devil!
  • wait holy crap it's the devil holy crap we're screwed
  • A small explanation on logistics: Heck is on Saturn, deep in its bowels. It's also below Hell, which is on Earth. Could you go to Earth by climbing from Heck through Hell?
  • That's a trick question, because NO ONE GETS OUT OF HELL! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • (If you're wondering about Freemium developers, their special layer of Hell is much, much lower and not shown.)
  • Yep, Development Hell is actually in heck.
  • And that joke isn't stolen! Look at the serial number, if you please; it's not the same!
  • What? The tool marks BELOW the current serial number? Oh, those, uhm, they happen. It's not like they clearly show I filed off the previous serial number or anything!
  • To my defense, it's been two years. And it fell off a lorry.
  • And they gave me a five-finger discount on it.
  • Shut up.
  • It always boils down to how Evil that pesky Man is! It'd be all for the best if Man was destroyed!
  • But first, one must find out who this "Man" person is. And that, no one's ever figured out. So far, the best explanation I've heard is that every human being must be destroyed, because no one wants to admit to be "Man".
  • ...but isn't that what that pesky "Man" would say?? I say let's destroy those that want to destroy all humanity.
  • I know, that's heresy and all, but I pride myself in being subversive.
  • If I seem to imply that character development is destroying the world, I'm, uhm, erm--
  • Look at that artwork! Isn't it dreadful? That's a much better thing to criticize, isn't it?
  • That's all lies, of course. Stupid fundamentalists and their horribly correct guesses which I totally didn't incentivize by explaining the whole backstory of the comic to them!
  • Megahertz are an inherently evil resource, and this is why harnessing it is EVIL and against my commandment!
  • So why did they do that anyway, despite me being able to stop them? Because the plot says so.
  • I'm quite insane, if it's not clear.
  • BRB, my faithful second-in-command (a horse) tells me that invisible, intangible, silent aliens from the planet Plutarch are here.
  • (Answer to obvious question: they smell. Phew!)
  • It's easy to do nothing; doing nothing really hard is not. These faceless would therefore be doing a much harder work than usual!
  • Though I'm no misanthrope, I loathe people. All of them.
  • Except you. That's how I'm no misanthrope.
  • That or I'm crazy, but that's insane!
  • Really, I didn't sign any aw-pok-ol-ypse thingamajig or nuthun'! That guy be a-lyin'!
  • Today it's dang Southern Accent day, y'all.
  • Uhm, wait, that would be southern England accent, so, uhm, never mind.
  • Pact? Whistling innocently...
  • Hell doesn't have that many fires, innit? Isn't that just silly! Wouldn't you rather think of that clear plot hole?
  • There's just seven signs. Seven trumpets AND seven cups was overkill.
  • (At least, for a universe where it's a stroke of luck if the first three walls stay up...)
  • Foolish Commander Snarf. We were doomed when this comic started.
  • "There was a great earthquake. The sun turned black like sackcloth made of goat hair, the whole moon turned blood red, and the stars in the sky fell to earth, as figs drop from a fig tree when shaken by a strong wind. The heavens receded like a scroll being rolled up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place." What do you think causes THAT?
  • OK, a Rated 10 Snarfette fanfic can do that too. But I write them anyway, so that's close enough.

YOU WILL ALL BE SERVANTS OF THE SATAN

YOU WILL ALL BE SERVANTS OF THE SATAN

YOU WILL ALL BE SERVANTS OF THE SATAN

YOU WILL ALL BE SERVANTS OF THE SATAN

YOU WILL ALL BE SERVANTS OF THE SATAN

YOU WILL ALL BE SERVANTS OF THE SATAN

  • Bloody idiot and bad wr--? Why, YOUR MOM too! Stupid paper!
  • Of course Hell is boring! Why would anyone BE A SERVANT OF THE SATAN otherwise?
  • You bastards! This comic is too well written!
  • Here's some MORE good writing: \';L;'\';LK[POP[][PO,./.,M,./.\ZXCV\';CXZ\ZXCVBDFG[]\';.,/JKL';KJH';GHJK/.L;RM,TY/.,UIU[PYH,9[;'TR]'\;TYUIO
  • See? I just mashed my keyboard at random and got something utterly indistinguishable from the writing in this comic! I'm so awesome!
  • Wait...
  • See? That was bona-fide dramatic!
  • Well, it was dramatically something at least.
  • (Ooh! I hope it's "dramatically good"!
    • What did you expect? Her computer isn't working either.
    • Uhm, on second thought, this probably didn't solve the issue...
    • This was one of the most requested features on SNARFS!
    • I had a poll with the voices in my head, and this came out at 78%, outpolling "snarfette fetish porn" at a round 20%, "stop pretending and just turn into a mass murderer already" at 2%, and "this poll should add to more than 100%" with 1%.
    • CURSE YOU APPLES I HATE YOUR SMELL AND YOUR CRUNCHINESS AND I totally prefer pears
    • In the future, SCIENCE will find a way to divide by zero. I just know it!
    • It's just a little thing on your body, be a man ab-- oh, right.
    • THE FLOWCHART NEVER LIES AND YOU WILL OBEY THE FLOWCHART.
    • It'll be easy after you are all SERVANTS OF THE SATAN.
    • Science will eventually find a way to solve everything, even to the solutions it finds!
    • If none of those solutions include violent deaths I'll be disappointed, but I live in disappointment.
    • (No, wait, it was - what did the psych say? 'Self-delusion'? Doesn't that mean the same? Bah!)
    • I have a giant plushie of the purple elephant, plus a smaller one. It's awesome!
    • wait what is this I don't even
    • Ah, young wereseal love! What's to like?
    • Torment! Anger! Ludicrous changes of minds that show no thought to character development at all! Indeed this is love?
    • And it ends in the best tradition of all tragic loves...
    • I hate love with a passion I reserve only for love!
    • Hate love hate love love hate love love hate hate agh going crosseyed
    • Puzzled? You shouldn't be! There are two people in those panels; one is the Epic Emo, while the other is the Epic Emo.
    • They're just not the same Epic Emo! One is the Epic Emo, while the other is the Epic Emo.
    • His internal monologue has to be interesting.
    • Don't worry! You won't actually all be servants of The Satan!
    • APRIL'S FOOLS YOU ACTUALLY WILL ALL BE SERVANTS OF THE SATAN.
    • When the devil says your book is ominous, it's time to rethink your literary career.
    • On the other hand, the devil has read your book. You are already so going to hell it's not even funny.
    • holy crap it dismantled poor commander snarf and gave him final death that's like not possible
    • Eh, he'll get better. They always do after a rare, irreversible death in a comic where deaths marked irreversible are, in fact, irreversible.
    • "Satanic work of the devil" sounds sort of redundant.
    • But, considering what we're referring to, it's almost a compliment.
    • !!!CAN YOU BELIEVE THE SORT OF REVELATIONS WE'RE STILL HAVING???
    • Me either. They're so awesome.
    • Oh, wait, it was just another lie. Or was it?
    • Or... was... it...?
    • (Yes, it was. Stupid Gadgeteer Snarf is so pliable.)
    • And there goes the Library of Universal Knowledge. Oh well, who needs any of that anyway? True knowledge is less gained and more received in revelation anyway.
    • "NOT!" is the best comeback ever.
    • NOT!
    • Getting snake instead of fish is apparently a pretty big problem, such that philosophers the world over have faced it.
    • "Pauseasahorriblerealizationdawnsonhim" sounds a bit like 'poof', but more descriptive-sounding.
    • "It 's" pronounced "IT - pause - apostrophe ES".
    • (Ironically, it means "its".)
    • (Wait, no, "it" doesn't mean "its" agh I'm going crosseyed)
    • WALL OF TEXT WOOOOOO
    • Bullet Hell is clearly below Development Hell. How do you get into bullet hell without going through development hell?!
    • It, uhm, is working, erm, perfectly as I decided it would. Yes.
    • Mmmh, orange juice.
    • "Beserving" is totally a verb!
    • No?
    • zOMG FREE ORANGE JUICE OVER THERE
    • (Why would anyone crush orange juice?)
    • Anyone got some orange juice?
    • Eh, I prefer Fanta anyway.
    • VAMPIRES BEAT ZOMBIES BECAUSE VAMPIRES ARE UNDEAD WHILE ZOMBIES uhm forget it
    • !!!zOMG MORE FREE ORANGE JUICE OVER THERE!!!
    • BARREL RIDE INTO HELL this is too awesome *eats popcorn*
    • Not to toot my own horn, mind you.
    • Yes. Yoghurt explodes hell. You are seeing this.
    • Taking out the banks destroys the economy? At least no one* can complain this comic isn't realistic!
    • (* that we listen to)
    • seriously she's still crying what.
    • 20%??? STILL NOT VIOLENT ENOUGH!
    • Fine! I accept that if this comic were actually realistic, everyone would've drowned in Snarfette's tears by now. I file this under Acceptable Breaks from Reality.
    • (Crying enough tears to fill the universe seven times over in a few months... unrealistic?! What planet do you live on? Earth???)
    • It's been a grand, fun year for this comic and for me personally! But it's now time to move on, my life has changed too much for me to keep working on this comic.
    • Still, managed to make one full year (156++ A4-size pages) without missing any deadlines. Woo!
    • I don't think I managed to get a single regular reader, mostly because I didn't advertise anywhere near enough... oh well, if you're reading this long after the end of the comic, I hope you have fun with these three full stories from the weird universe of SNARFS!
    • And if not, WELL YOUR MOM.
    • There's at least four more years' worth of material in my dump file for SNARFS!, so should I find some way to streamline production, make this look good (i.e. hire an artist), and find the time to do it... I will.
    • Perhaps there might be more of Snarfette's writing to come...?
    • Finally, thanks to all the people who followed and RT'd me on Twitter, any readers past and future, and anyone who voted at TWC (I know at least someone did that wasn't me!)




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    Francesco Poli ||   

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