POODLES VS. PENGUINS FAQ
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Welcome to Poodles vs. Penguins, where natural enemies do battle to the bitter end!
What? Am I saying that "Poodles hate Penguins" and "Penguins hate Poodles?" Yes I am!
- Have you ever seen a poodle hanging out with a penguin?
- Poodles are from France (or some country like that) and Penguins are from Antarctica (or pretty darn close), why is it that they have to live so far apart?
- Poodles are dogs. Penguins are birds.
- Poodles need human help to look all fancy. Penguins look that way naturally. Jealous much?
- Penguins stink like dirty fish guts. Poodles smell like an alpine breeze wrapped in a roses. Now who's jealous?
- Poodles have mechanized divisions. Penguins rely on infantry.
- The first battle took place in Luxembourg. Why? Cuz nothing ever seems to happen in Luxembourg, so they figured that it would be a good place to start an international avian-canine conflict.
- Poodles were originally bred to kill rats. The penguins think that's pretty darn funny.
- Prehistoric penguins were six-feet tall. What happened between then and now that we have a hard time telling the difference between puffins and penguins?
- The second battle of the Poodle-Penguin War took place in Delaware. Why? Cuz nothing ever seems to happen in Delaware either.
THE BODY COUNT
'll notice at the bottom of each Poodles vs. Penguins episode is a tally. That's the up-to-the-minute tally of confirmed kills in the war to end all wars.
You and I are witnessing this conflict after centuries of battles, hence the ridiculously high body count. At some point, we may interview the Poodle General and the Admiral Penguin on historic victories and defeats, but until then, we will simply have to linger on the sidelines as this bloodbath continues on.
This won't be a regularly updated comic, but keep checking back for more as I figure out strange ways to update the body count.
HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR POODLES VS. PENGUIN COMICS?
I draw them with either a Sharpie marker or ball-point pen on the back of the most useless paper product known to man: Comic-book backing boards. Then I scan them in, shade them a bit more and post them up.