Jared Archimedes Twist
Ethnic heritage/religion: Italian-American/Jewish
Job: Senior Officer at Police Martial artist Soldiers. Nobody knows how or why this came to pass.
Personality: Oblivious, self-absorbed, flighty, often giddy. He's more intelligent than his behavior suggests, he just chooses not to use it sometimes.
Fondest desire: To be an awesome extreme P.M.S. agent, and to be both respected and feared everywhere he goes.
Quirks: Refers to his genitalia as "the wife and kids". Bronzes and frames the cash he receives as payment, believing it to be "medals of honor". Often compares things to eagles for some stupid reason. Likes to pretend to be majestic animals like dolphins and stallions. Apparently has an eating disorder.
Greatest strength: His ability to figure out twist endings.
Greatest weakness: His "secret self-esteem problems".
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