It's as American as apple pie and has existed almost as long. Few people recognize it, even less have basked in its incredible radiant glory. Now, in 2011 A.D., its story can be told and its origin finally revealed.
It is known simply yet respectfully as ... the Righteous Fist.
Quite possibly the most revered hunk of metal known to man, it is very literally the winner of the first recorded Three Panel Throwdown. The brutal contest pitted our first President George Washington against a fairly nondescript washbasin. Ben Franklin was on hand to document the occasion, debating whether or not to include his account in his new almanac. Though he had made mince of trees and such in the past, today was not for George. The washbasin completely cleaned up. Cleaned his clock. It was a clean sweep.
Shortly after the historic upset, Franklin attempted to adopt the Three Panel Throwdown concept on his own. This match-up was lightning versus a kite. We all remember how this went down.
History has taught us that usually the winners get to write it. This is one of the odd times where the opposite is true. Convinced that he was a karmic victim of witnessing the first Throwdown, Franklin approached George with a plan. Ben convinced Washington to abduct the washbasin and brought it to the local blacksmith.
"Be done with this beast, this monstrosity!", they cried. "Toss it into your fire and leave it 'til it burns clear through." "Aye," the smithy replied. "And come on back a full day past to see that I followed through." A day later, our founding fathers were quite satisfied with the lump of metal which remained. The smith asked politely if he could use the hunk for scrap and George & Ben agreed. On a back shelf in the shop it sat, never being glanced at again and just collecting dust.
That is, until now.
The lump of metal had shaped itself into a resemblance of a clenched, mighty and defiant fist. How did it survive over 200 years? Why does it now sparkle and shine like a thousand cheap rhinestones? Is it sentient?
These questions may never be answered. Perhaps, they SHOULD never be answered. We at the No Logic Dojo are proud yet humbled to bring this story finally to light.
Now, one last question:
If George and Ben are long gone yet the Righteous Fist remains ... who truly writes history?
Back to the Cast Page