Dear Jim Smith,

    Why would you choose "rainbows and unicorns" as your metaphor for false happiness? Even the pairing makes little sense, as one is of the realm of fantastic while the other is a natural wonder. Asides from that, both are the sources of many true fonts of beauty.

Would not a McDonalds and Baywatch be better examples, even if more obvious? Or are you just afraid to alienate your beurgoisie readership and fight the corrupt power stucture of the corporate controlled nation??!

Power to the masses!!

Yours,

El Jefe

Dearest El Jefe,

    McDonald's and Baywatch would have been far to obvious, and I usually try to avoud making direct popculture references in my strips, if only for the sake of trying to make the strips harder to date. I suppose I was stretching this usual rule of mine with the mention of video games, but for the sake of the strip, I broke this rule.

That, and I am quite firghtened by Ronald McDonald, due to severe childhood trauma involving a man dressed up as him. Even thinking about him keeps me up all night, tightly clutching a batball bat and a flashlight while ingesting several packs of Red Bull. My regular pattern of sleep is thrown off for the next month... which is going to be the case starting just now.

Yours in Insomnia,

~Jim Smith

    It is well known that various evil creatures, such as Satan or R. Kelly, will dress up as Ronald McDonald and cause havoc and make illegal porn videos.

Baywatch will never become dated. Unless half naked women bouncing around becomes unpopular.

Your arguements only bolster mine. And how do you defend your malliging of unicorns, and thereby marginilizing and offending the entire unicorn community?

Power to the People!!

~El Jefe
 

Dear El Jefe,

    In all honesty, I suck at drawing David Hasselhoff. And I had not thought of incorperating anything related to Baywatch into the strip, mostly because I'd like to think that I would not have to use sex to lure in viewers. I do not consider myself to be a sexual person, which is probably why I don't get asked out on dates very often. Except by Hairless Armless Cat before her(?) marriage to Frank, but that didn't work out very well.

But I digress.

And I have met unicorns in person, my friend. Very few choose to believe me when I tell them they only LOOK cute and cuddly. I once saw a pack of them eat half a class of kindergartners during a trip to Far-Off Lands. Not a pretty sight, I must say.

Please try and understand my intentions here.

Regards,

~Jim Smith

Dear Jim Smith,

    Your insensitivity to the unicorn minority is staggering. Unicorns still living in the Far-Off lands (a colonialist term if there ever was one!) have been forced to acts of barbarism due to the imposition of the corrupt morals of our Western society, and our destruction of their natural habitat, where they lived in harmony with nature. The only reason unicorns would be forced to eat kindergardners would be due to the lack of properly aged virgins. And who's fault is that?

Why do nearly all monsters instinctively hate the cute and cuddly minority who live amoung us? Our unjustified societywide expulsion of the CCC just a few months back based only on hearsay and false evidence clearly did not slake your desire to demonize the cute, solely because they are the "other" in our society!!


The only solution is revolution!!

~El Jefe
 

Dear El Jefe,

    You do know that unicorns are the official mount of the CCC, right?

The CCC tried to kill me once by tying me to a stake and sacrificing me to their horrible, bloated queen. They kill anything that isn't cute and cuddly like them.

... You aren't one of them, are you?

Yours Suspiciously,

~Jim Smith
 

    So you confess to being one of the criminal propagadeers who spread the unjustified lies about an innocent cute minority?

And now, your new, "intellectual" cartoon is submilinally insinuating that another cute minority group is the root cause of all problems in society today!

Who's funding you, I wonder? Is it the CIA? The NSA? The SCA??

Your very words belie your lie!!!

You say they worship a "horrible, bloated queen", a creature any true intellectual would know is a myth created by our colonialist society as a way to demonize their revolutionary racial identity, yet, then in the very next sentance, you acuse them of trying to kill "anything that isn't cute and cuddly like them"!

Wouldn't they have killed this so called evil "queen", if your accusations are correct?!

You've trapped yourself in your own lie.

YOU ARE A TOOL OF THE CAPITALIST PATRIARCHY!!!!


Down with the oppressors!!!

~El Jefe!!


P.S. Say hi to Norman for me.

Dearest "El Jefe,"

    I am throughly convinced you are some kind of unicorn. Or just some kind of paranoid delusional that takes things far too seriously.

Besides, we don't hate everything cute. We keep that puppy that Moe found around.

You're draining my intelligence,
~Jim Smith

P.S. Norman can drop dead. Talentless hack.