My backgrounds have an unfortunate tendency to go all tilty, even if I use a ruler. Still, cute doomsday device. We also get the first mention of Dana, the only insane superintelligent gerbil destined to survive this conflict.

The insane superintelligent gerbils don't come off as particularly insane in this storyline, to be honest. As Artie says, they're basically just human. Dana gets nuttier later on.

Song list:

13. "Code Breaker," by Tunng

Like Watson and Crick
You seem to look
Into my soul
And though my DNA
Is too small for your scope
You make it much deeper

Will I ever get tired of science love songs? No. The answer is no, I will never get tired of science love songs. This one's sweet and melancholy and kind of sad.

You know, I've gotten a lot better at drawing gerbils since these strips, but their little expressions and poses are still pretty funny. This is one of countless strips that would be improved by some damn backgrounds, though. I hate drawing backgrounds.

I like that the gerbils can't even tell if their fellow gerbils are male or female. As is established later in regards to Dana, Artie has the same problem.

Song list:

14. "Female of the Species," by Space

Frankenstein and Dracula have nothing on you
Jekyll and Hyde join the back of the queue
The female of the species is more deadly than the male
Oh she wants to conquer the world completely
But first she'll conquer me discreetly
The female of the species is more deadly than the male

Another song I just really like. Someone on the message board suggested this one. I also have a cover by Fembot, off the last Narbonicon CD, but I prefer the Space version.

It was kind of hard to cram three characters and a BFG into that third panel, but it doesn't look too bad. I really should have written more insane war-movie rants for Mell over the years.

The day this strip ran, Valentine's Day 2001, I went on my first date with my friend Andrew Farago. I'd broken up with my boyfriend a few days before (yes, I'm that cold), after Andrew conceded that we could kinda sorta maybe try going out. This was on the third of a series of weekends on which I stayed at his apartment all night playing "Super Mario 3" and falling asleep in his bed, and it was all kind of complicated and not worth going into here, except that somehow IT TOTALLY WORKED.

For our first date, Andrew asked me to meet him on the corner outside a big hotel where he was working on a temp job, manning a booth at a computer-tech conference. From there, we'd go out for pizza and see "Annie Hall" at the Red Vic on Haight Street. I showed up at the appointed hour, stood out in the cold for a while, then went into the hotel to see if Andrew was still working. No dice. I spent the next hour--a full hour--running in and out of the hotel from that corner, searching for Andrew amongst the straggling techies, increasingly convinced that he'd gotten cold feet and ditched me.

Then it occurred to me that it was a large hotel, and I was on the wrong corner.

Feeling like the queen of all idiots, I walked down the street and around the next corner, and there he was, right where he said he'd be. Right where he'd been standing for the past hour, in the damp gray February cold, waiting for me. He looked like a shivering baby bird. And when I walked up, he smiled at me like I hadn't been a minute late. It was at that moment--that smile--that I knew I was in love with him.

Of course, since I work in advance, this strip was drawn four weeks before any of that. But what the hell.

Song list:

15. "I Don't Want To Live on the Moon," by Ernie

Well, I'd like to visit the moon
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon
But I don't think I'd like to live there
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I don't want to live on the moon

This one goes out to Andrew, because I know how much he digs Muppets.

The gerbil is standing on a copy of Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, one of my favorite novels about superintelligent rodents. I know there's a lot of stiff competition there.

I don't know where the gerbils got an old-fashioned cheerleaders' megaphone, but there's probably a lot of unexpected odds and ends lying around Narbonics Labs.

Song list:

16. "Big Gun," by Ice-T

Living life to the fullest
Buckshot and bullets
Trigger, she'll pull it
Earth, she wanna rule it
Maybe she will cuz she's quick to kill
The city lights make her dresses tight
Yes she bites...

Yes, you have discovered my secret weakness: 1990s gangsta rap. Actually, this was on one of the Narbonicon CDs, but it led me to a strong affection for Ice-T, especially his earlier, more political material. Also, it is an awesome rap. BEST SONG ABOUT A GUN-CRAZY LADY EVER.

A rare three-panel strip. Three-panel gags are hard! And no, I don't know where the sofa is in relation to anything else in the lab. It seems to be off in its own separate living-room setup. It's still around in the next storyline when Helen's mother hangs out on it.

Song list:

17. "Everybody Wants To Rule the World," by Tears for Fears

Its my own design
Its my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world

A confession: sometimes* I fantasize about there someday being a Narbonic TV series, and in this TV series there is a scene in which Professor Madblood goes down to his mother's basement, gets into his flying saucer, and pops a weathered Tears for Fears cassette into the dashboard. Then he flies out a hatch in the front lawn and off into outer space, while the above song plays, and for one brief, bright moment he's happy. That's what I think about whenever I hear this song.

*By which I mean "constantly."

If there were a Wizard Price Guide for webcomics, this strip would be highlighted in pink and labeled SGa 1: Dr. Narbon. And it would be priced at 300 million dollars, slabbed, because it would be HOT!!!

Also notable: Artie gets to do narration boxes, a rare privilege. And this strip has a "To Be Continued" caption! I never pass up an opportunity to do a "To Be Continued"!

Artie's internal monologue here is, of course, a takeoff on Apocalypse Now, as is Dr. Narbon's first line in the strip.

Song List:

18. "Purely Evil," by The Rogers Sisters

I don't care if I'm the lonliest man
As long as it's out of my hands
Automatic firearms and safety plans
As long as it's out of my hands
And when I find I'm in a serious state
As long as it's out of my hands
I got a feeling, got a feeling i emancipate
As long as it's out of my hands
I wanna be purely evil


I addition to collecting songs about mad science (and plain old regular science), I collect songs about being evil. This is a good one, plus The Rogers Sisters is a good band in general. It's peppy.