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Smithson Thus Far... ·


This elaborate mockup turned out to be the work of James Rice. He put a lot of research into it, I have to say.

James Rice (jhrice) says:

Oh yeah, I forgot about this.   As near as I can remember, the town, the mall, the newspaper, and even the reporter's name were swiped for this hoax.  Even the license plate on the car was taken from a photo of an Ohio car.  That's Speedy posing as Dana, (really, who can tell), in a co-worker's scratch built tank.   I did send it to Shaenon anonymously, and only confessed to it months later.   I don't remember why.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

You don't remember why?  Because it's a hella freakin' cool thing to do, that's why!  Honestly, Speedy lives a life that I could only aspire to in my wildest dreams.  I mean, am I ever going to meet Stephen Hawking?  Of course not, but Speedy has.  Can I be Speedy when I grow up?  Or you?

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

And for Boxing Day, a tune by Frank Loesser, the Bard of Winter (he also wrote "Baby, it's cold outside"): "What are you doing New Year's Eve?"

Ferret or gerbil, hamster or a rat
Whatever, I'm not getting close to that
What is it doing in a
In a tank?

It's terrorizing lovely Midway Mall
Quick, give Security the code-red call
Must stop this menace in a
In a tank

Maybe I'm crazy to suppose
Narbonic Lab did this, but it made those
Gigantic gerbils that ate the mayor and
Robbed a bank

I would say Dana looks like the next front
It's the invasion of the angry runt
Menacing us from in a
In a tank

Won't someone save Elyria, our pride
From a great mob of rodents all wild-eyed
Or must we flee from Dana
In a tank?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Oh dear.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

You want Frank Loesser?  You got him ...

(TUNE: "Baby, It's Cold Outside", Frank Loesser)

I went to the store ...
   You fools, I'll destroy you all!
Ain't seen this before!
   You fools, I'll destroy you all!
A gerbil or squirrel ...
   I'm gonna destroy the world!
It's so darn small ...
   I'll rule you all, at least this mall!

While on my way to the grocer,
   Careful, now, don't come closer!
It tried to obstruct my path ...
   Cower or face my wrath!
I simply walked on around,
   Bravely, I stand my ground!
I'm in a rush today!
   Darn, another one got away!

Hey, watch where you go!
   Surrender or you'll be killed!
You're moving so slow ...
   Hey, this took me hours to build!
It must be a prank,
   My replica Leopard tank ...
Some kind of joke!
   Now all my plans go up in smoke!

I got too much stuff to do ...
   I'm gonna conquer you!
So long, it's been really fun ...
   Holy crap, the cops, I must run!
It kinda was cool ...
   Stop laughing, you fool!
DANA will rule you all!

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Ed: This particular fool can't stop laughing.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

And this is exactly the reason why the some-day-in-the-future Skin Horse Director's Cut *must* include filk song for each day. Preferably with links that play the melodies so readers can sing along.

wang wyg (dmjy) says:

wow ,it is so cool.

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile