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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Rachel (admiralshazbot) says: Sweetheart is adorable and makes me want to get a non-genetically modified dog of my own.
Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:

Okay, folks, it must be said: Sweetheart is normally a very smart dog, but right here she's making some poor choices and/or experiencing a series of behavior change opportunity events.  Do not let your dogs do this!  And for the love of Pete, restrain them in a harness or a crate or something while riding with them in an automobile!  Thank yew very much.

Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

so i imagine, its already been noted that aparently unity wasnt originally in that human(ish) body. originally she was in something other than human form. am i the only one who thinks that, knowing that, its a bit disturbing that she is driveing? one can only imagine her driver's liscence picture. well, assumeing she has one.

Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

*looks back over comic...* damnit... i went crazy again and read something in a comic that wasnt really there. Shit. where did i put my medication...

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: I wish *I* could put my head out the window and let my tongue flap in the breeze while riding down the highway.  (OMG I just had a very disturbing mental image of the KISS tour bus ...)
Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says: I think the point here is that no matter how intelligent and in control she normally is, she's still, deep down, a dog.  *L*  Got a big smile out of me, but then most of these strips have.
Steve Ford (sford) says:

I'm so glad Sweetheart was redrawn from the early sketches.  Can you imagine that much wonderful expression on one of those beautiful, elegent dogs?

Maybe the Ghost of Mell is still haunting me, but shouldn't Sweetheart have said, "... HOLY CHEESE ... "

Nick Christensen (incidence) says: As cute as Sweetheart is in this one I'm more interested that Unity can fall apart in a strong wind.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

This is the first week of strips I think is really good. It's based entirely on actual events. Next week is the second week I think is really good. After that, most weeks are pretty good.

Just so you know.
Nick Christensen (incidence) says: Well now I'm excited, I thought everything so far has been great, now your telling me all that was just the warm-up material.
Martha Mintz (muffinthamighty) says: Yeah, I miss "HOLY CHEESE" too.  The amount of dog in these strips is making me really happy.  Thank heaven for Shaenon and her Critters.  What gender is Sweetheart?
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

I assume Sweetheart is a male, for some reason. Maybe I'm just biased? Bad me! Bad!

I love how at peace Sweetheart is with his dog-ness. he suffers no discomfort with the paradox of dog and human, inteligence and instinct. He is zen-like in his own way. 

And on another note, I would like to note that Tip must be somewhat new to the team, seeing as how surprised he looks in that last panel. (so cute!) 

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

I'm more intrigued by the statement that this is based entirely on actual events, given that the characters involved are a talking dog, a patchwork sniper, a transvestite pshrink, and an unconscious lion.

And Sweetheart is female; see the text with the first Sketch Sunday. 

Martha Mintz (muffinthamighty) says: Yeah- Shaenon has some explaining to do...
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: I find it interesting that Tip is apperently sharing the backseat with the Lion.
John Wells (johnwwells) says: On the one hand, this is completely hilarious. On the other hand, I can't help but think that this is a case where all final panel dialogue is superfluous. I mean, the guy squashed between the lion and the laser printer is basically an image so beautiful that nothing should distract from it.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Awwwwww, Leo looks so cuuuuuuute in the last panel ... you could almost forgive him for chewing off your leg when he wakes up.

"Hey, that drive-thru is open!  Can we buy some zebra-on-a-stick, so everyone in the car smells like tasty animals?"

bzzzzd (bzzzzd) says:

Drive-thrus sell zebra-on-a-stick!?!?!?

(I have got to get out more!) 

bzzzzd (bzzzzd) says:

I am so confused (which is actually quite pleasant). First it seemed Tip was in charge, but then Sweetheart took over, and now that they are in Unity's car, she's in charge (or maybe just of the budget).


btw, Unity is too cute! I love that wide-eyed guilelessness in the last two strips. A guy could lose his head over her (oops, bad choice of words). 

Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

Have we considered that it's likely a group dynamic more than anything else? Maybe neither of them is in charge, just Sweetheart tends to call the shots, being rather more level-headed than the others so far.


And for the record, I've always wanted to snuggle with a huge sleepy feline. This is what happens when you learn to read on Calvin And Hobbes, folks. 

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:


Aaron: I taught my kids (now 24 and 21) to read with Calvin and Hobbes. So far, the experience doesn't seem to have damaged them too much. 

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Some you win, some you lose...
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:
This will hopefully become clear enough over time, but I might as well provide pointless exposition: Sweetheart is the commander of the Skin Horse field team, which usually consists of just herself and Unity. Tip has tagged along for this mission. Tip's official title is "Human Liaison," which sounds all classy, but in practice he's not much more than a glorified file clerk. He is grossly overqualified for an ordinary clerking job, but Skin Horse is not a normal office, and even the lower-level employes require unusual qualifications and stratospheric levels of government clearance.

Skin Horse has a very small staff and there isn't a lot of emphasis on hierarchy, but Sweetheart would be very upset if she knew people thought Tip was running one of her missions. Like most people genetically derived from pack animals, she worries about these things.

The actual head of Skin Horse does not do fieldwork and has yet to appear.
Martha Mintz (muffinthamighty) says: Oooh, intriguing!
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: I....I just don't know what to say about this one.
Rachel (admiralshazbot) says:

Unity's a...zombie? I don't know why that makes me sad.  But it does. Tip, please psychoanalyze my response so I can feel better about myself.

Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says: Watch out Tip, she'll want your educated braiiiins!
D. Connolly (theogrin) says: ergonomytch: Don't be silly.  The living dead don't eat brains.  After all, there's nothing THAT enjoyable about being a reanimated corpse.
Michael Brazier (michaelbrazier) says: So, does Angelique have a lithe opaque nose?
Rockphed (rockphed) says: Unity might not be a zombie.  The zombie might be some other denizen of madness!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Zombies are people too!  Unity strikes me as the type who would publicly protest for Undead Rights.

On an unrelated note, after reading the hot goblin sex scene, I will be useless at work all day today.  Just so you know.

Leo will now wake up hungry *and* horny.  Boy, can I sympathize.

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: ...reminds me of a road trip with a bunch of thespian engineers a long time ago in a college far, far away.
Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says: Unity seems to make a much better zombie than Dave. Then again, she doesn't look like her body parts were left to rot in a grave for six months, either. I guess freshness counts!
Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says:

After the 'inspired by real life events' comment I feel for the person who got stuck with this in real life.  *L*

And I'm gonna be spontaniously breaking into giggles all day because of this. :P

Dan Knapp (dankna) says: Unity's a zombie?  OH!  That makes sense!  Explains the look...
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

. . . . . good lord, it's like getting a glimpse of yourself from a alternate dimension. 'Can't argue with that logic' indeed.

*Snerk* Angst the goblin? oh dear. 


And Rachel, it makes you sad because of the implication that Unity had to die , and the worry that it was an unpleasant experience. Post-Incident character mourning is a perfectly healthy response.

My diagnosis: Eat a cookie. 

Wallace Good (good_the_third) says: Not to knock Helen's abilities, but its possible that Unity is a more carefully-crafted person than undead Dave. Then again, it is notable we can view the different strips as compatible.  I mean, a lot of writers, different story, different laws of physics and reality, which has its own merits.
Katie Tandler (katesith) says:

I've done this before!  In the car, even! (Except I think they were regular trashy dime-store romances, not goblin porn.)

The trick, though, is to read it in the "my first kindergarten play" voice. With the bright eyes, the loud mouth, the five-year-old's timbre, the halting cadence, and the unsteady pronunciations.

 Try it! It's so fun! I promise!

Kaesa Aurelia (kaesa) says: We did this at a Valentine's Day dinner party, as well as making ridiculous romance-novelized nametags for all participants involved, although ours were more DRAMATIC THEATRICAL READINGS, wherein all the ridiculous metaphors were pronounced as though they were of the utmost importance.  It really is a lot of fun, provided you have the right kind of (read: entertainingly bad) romance novels on hand.
Rasteen Nowroozi (herandar) says: Shouldn't it read "turgid goblinhood'?
John Olson (theothergrayman) says:

Okay, maybe I missed someone's post, or MAYBE I'm the first one to notice:

Tip?  He's a cross-dresser, and his name is Tip?  How very Marvelous Land of Oz!

bzzzzd (bzzzzd) says:


Okay, I am macked here, as in truck. How in the seven hells did whoever stitched this grlz bod together find such two perfectly matched faces from different racial types? Or is she a zombie-clone? Or....or....or.....bzzzzzzft!


 (We are sorry for the interruption of service caused by the sudden explosion of a certain poster's head. The government  management accepts absolutely no claims of damage from said incident nor even acknowledges that it indeed, or in fact, occur. It is government's management's position that it is all a figment of your imagination. Or of the poster's. Someone will be by later to remove any remaining fragments of figments from the area. Please look directly at the flashy thing. Your government The management thanks you for your cooperation.)

Rachel S. (masamage) says: Ewww.
Dan Knapp (dankna) says: John Olson: Yeah, we were all commenting on that a couple strips ago.  And we have a cowardly lion, as somebody else pointed out.
Andy Holloway (garran) says: Unity's not just a zombie, or not a traditional one, whatever the story here is; she's not just a reanimated corpse, but some sort of sewn together composite of various... Oh. A patchwork girl. I see.
Martha Mintz (muffinthamighty) says: Call me prejudice, but I strongly disagree with the label "Zombie".  In Marthaland zombies smell awful, have scary cataract eyes and are complete morons with no memory of the human they used to be.  They are my least favorite monsters because they make me think of getting reealy old and senile.  I hope that comment doesn't upset anyone, but that's why they scare me.  Oh, and the coming to eat you thing.  So in my world unity isn't a zombie because she seems to have free will, good hygene and she isn't trying to eat anyone.  But then again I may have fallen victim to the mass media's representation of zombies and unity and her re-animated brethren may be trying to reclaim the word.  This could go along with Mr Ed Gedeon's idea of Zombie Rights.  Eh, Zombie Power?
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: A zombie? Huh. Personally, I'd had her figured for a construct, like Dr. Frankenstein's creation or various associates of Agatha Heterodyne's.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says: Unity is Taking Back the Word.
Justin Grubbs (the_purple_knight) says: I have to say that Unity is impressive work for a zombie. Remember how Helen said that even the Journal of Malology's creations fell apart after eating their creators.
Michael Brazier (michaelbrazier) says: Thursday: A shame the field team couldn't have done their job remotely -- on the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.
John Wells (johnwwells) says: Oh, neat! Police car-colored sound effects!
D. Connolly (theogrin) says:

I'll be VERY disappointed if the police officer isn't the same one who just so happened to pull over a certain intoxicated vehicle...

Martha Mintz (muffinthamighty) says: I'm rooting for a Foxy Cop cameo- is that too much to ask for?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Oooh, yes, love the Foxy Cop!

Returning to Wednesday's discussion, yes, Unity seems less the traditional zombie and more like a "Girl Genius" type construct, or a Diskworld "Igor" (excuse me, "Igorina).  Let's see, so far we've got references to the "Oz" books, "Velveteen Rabbit", "Diskworld", and erotic fantasy.  No Shakespeare yet ... how 'bout we start a pool going and try to guess which Shakepearean character will be referenced first?

Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

I would like to hedge my bets on Hamlet, with a side order of Tibault of Mercutio from Romeo and juliet.

 The first deals with death, mayhem, and madness, and everyone knows about it.

 The second two are slightly more lighthearted (This *is* hamlet we speak of) and mad. Plus, they're my favorites.

I always saw mell as a warped sort of Tibault. . . . 

Poor disappointed Tip.  He looks so sad.

bzzzzd (bzzzzd) says:

Unity, I'm a dog.

"Officer, I'm a zombie." 

Taking Back the Word

You go, gurl.

Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says: Well, at least they won't have to worry about Tip wanting to tag along on assignments for a while?  *L*   He'll probably get back and crawl under his desk and refuse to come out for a while. : P
James Rice (jhrice) says:    Ed said...

Returning to Wednesday's discussion, yes, Unity seems less the traditional zombie and more like a "Girl Genius" type construct, or a Diskworld "Igor" (excuse me, "Igorina).

I think Unity is much closer to Buddy from Mundementia One:.  A creation stitched together from spare parts.


Martha Mintz (muffinthamighty) says: Shakespeare wager:  I'm placing my bets on the monster laden  Tempest- either Caliban or Prospero. Though for a fun twist Shaenon could throw in a Timon of Athens quote.  I mean, it's so obscure that it seems just her cup of tea.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:
Yes, if Unity existed in the Girl Genius universe, she'd be called a construct. Here, she's classified as a "necrotic sapient," although there are other terms of varying levels of political correctness.

I love the Igors in the Discworld books, as annoying as it can get to parse (or parth) their dialogue.
Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says: How much do you wanna bet Konstantin is working under the alias Stan Bull?
Martha Mintz (muffinthamighty) says: Are they sitting on the lion?!? 
John Wells (johnwwells) says: Every 15 miles? Judging by the speed from which worst-case scenario went from "caught speeding with lion" to "crammed in backseat with police officers and lion," that seems like an overestimate.
Rockphed (rockphed) says:

Will Konstantin become Lunch?

Will we ever see him again?

And why does sweetheart's nose keep getting shorter?

Tune in next time to find out on Unity and Sweetheart, or the Clownly Lion!

Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says:

And why does sweetheart's nose keep getting shorter?

It's foreshadowing of a major plotline wherein it is discovered that Helen Beta Narbon has released a retrovirus into the atmosphere which targets the unstable genetic makeup of transgenics world wide, slowly, inevitably transforming them into gerbils.

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says: Man, I've been drawing the characters for less than a month at this point. Gimme a break!
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh heh heh.
Magnolia Pearl Porter (magnoliapearl) says: Konstantin is already my favorite character ever. EVER.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Rockphed ... that was a "Rocky and Bullwinkle" tribute, wasn't it?  Good one!

OK, now I can't wait for the movie version, just to see stunt driving with a Volvo.

Unity's supposed "training" probably consisted of listening to Prof. Tom Lehrer's "Hunting Song":  "You just stand there looking cute / And when something moves, you shoot!"

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Sudden and unexpected in the "Oops, THAT'S where I left that poisoned vodka" sense, I would think.
Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says:

*nearly dies from choking on brekfast cereal*  I hope you're happy!  

Love it.  

mercyfire (mercyfire) says: I want the video for that driving course!
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

Yeesh. Barely a month and we've already got the cartoonist on the run. 

Not I want MY shirt saying  "Let's drive this Volo Off A Few Ramps!!"

Konstantin. . .  Constantine? Yee!! 

Dan Knapp (dankna) says: Oh man.  This is a hilarious turn of events.  I love it.
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

I love it a shaggy dog story in which the dog just smiles.

Ok shaggy volvo story. 

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: It looks like Tip gets no respect, even from the authors.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: Thomas:  Is Stan Bull not Konstantin Opel? (humming TMBG tune to ingratiate himself with cartoonist).
Alycia Shedd (leeshajoy) says:

First person to post translations of the Russian in this comic gets a cookie.

A virtual cookie.

With sprinkles.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Lion slash (well, ship), woot.
Andrew W (mrandrew) says: No Bowie?
Nemo (ningun) says: "Step', da / step' krugom" (The Steppes All Around) is apparently about "A coachman far from home on the vast steppes of Russia speaks his dying words to his friend."
Joe Hoffman (joe6pack) says:

The last line is "We need a translator."  Heroic lettering effort. 

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: In the back seat, the crowded back seat, the lion sleeps tonight ... aweemaway, aweemaway, aweemaway,  aweemaway, aweemaway, aweemaway, aweemaway, aweemaway, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ....
Minivet (minivet) says: I think the N (next-to-last letter) should be an И.  (Me not knowing Russian or anything, but I know enough to laboriously put the Cyrillic letters into Google Translate.)
Minivet (minivet) says:

A Russian speaker says that the stuff in the first panel is "the steppes, the steppes all around [as per Nemo], there is a long road ahead..."

The new question is, did the cartoonist choose that song because one of the words, if simply transliterated, is "dalek"?

Evan Kennedy (kneefers) says: I don't know if I can even fathom that level of dorkiness.
Evan Kennedy (kneefers) says: Hilarious if true, though.
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: And of all the things for Tip to be worried about -- he just found a new one.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Say, how is it that Leo got his hands... errr, paws on a copy of The Lion King? And how is it that he formulated such potent fantasi-- no, on second thought, I really, really, really don't want to know that.
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

Great use of the clown car gag.

A shaggy clown car gag. 

That's what we need next CLOWNS.

Shaggy CLOWNS.



Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

Pfft. What sort of mad scientist *wouldn't* give their 'kids' kids movies? Besides, that scene where Simba's dad dies could watp ya pretty good.

Hmehheheheheh Shannon, darling, how *can* I thank you for Tip being so wonderfully disheveled in the last panel? I get so few worthy cartoon characters to crush on. *heart*


Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says: Er, 'Warp'. Not 'Watp' whatever that is. . .
bzzzzd (bzzzzd) says:

Rockphed (rockphed) says: And why does sweetheart's nose keep getting shorter?
Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says: It's foreshadowing of a

Not foreshadowing, it's foreshortening. [8^P  It's the angles, for crying out loud. Stop eating so many rocks, and lay off Shaenon. [;^)


Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says: Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

Hmehheheheheh Shannon, darling, how *can* I thank you for Tip being so wonderfully disheveled in the last panel? I get so few worthy cartoon characters to crush on. *heart*

 Noooooo!  Mine!  *steals*    *L*  

Sor Cyress (sorcyress) says:

Oh hell, I didn't know that Tip was up for grabs. *yoinks*


Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:




(You'll have to cut me some slack on the e's :-) 

Kevin (notsteve) says: Oh no, Tiff, is there Russian 1337 too?
Michael Martin (mcmartin) says: Kevin: In no-longer-Soviet Russia, "PWИT" is pronounced "Roaned."
mercyfire (mercyfire) says: "Roaned" as in a horse of a different color. (Is anyone else's humor as lame as mine?)
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile