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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Incog Neato (ghede) says: ADHD/ADD, the natural foes of rampage.
Justin Grubbs (the_purple_knight) says: Why do they have to hide all that stuff? I mean, maybe they were created for evil, but it's been cut down. They've even got Unity down to only slightly regrettable casualties during missions. Now that's progress!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

You do realize that when you see a punchbuggy, you're supposed to punch your friend/sibling/companion on the arm.

If Unity sees a padiddle, who knows what might happen ...

Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

Hee! I still remeber he day in gradeschool that you diddn't have to listen to a god-dammed word of all of that rot. someone punched me? Oh, well, HIT THEM BACK, HARD.

End of logic path. 

Sor Cyress (sorcyress) says:

My groups tradition for padiddle is that everyone has to immediately say 'padiddle'. The last person to say it has to remove an article of clothing.

 We'd probably be less lazy about keeping up with the tradition if we hung out with boys or were more sapphic.


Kim Brunner (kimbrunner) says: Where are you guys from?? I'm from Oregon and I've never heard of this "padiddle" game before! (I had to look it up on Wikipedia...)
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: Dont' forget padoodle and padunkle. At least that's what they were in West Central Indiana in the late 70's.
Justin Grubbs (the_purple_knight) says: Poor Sweetheart. She's just so lost and confused. It makes me want to hug her.
Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

i have been so tempted to make that kinda statement myself, adressed to the masses, huddled before their ignorance.

 but iam just too tired to bother with a rampage. also, it never seems to work out for the rampager.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Awww-heh-heh-heh. :)
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

OK, is the sign on the window behind them, "Manolo's Irish Pub"?  (Faith 'n' caramba ...)

Come to think of it, Sweetheart's line in the last panel is kinda what happened at the end of "Young Frankenstein".

Also, "Canadian Rampage" is possibly the worst band name of all time.

NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says:

Ok, now I want TWO t-shirts from Skin Horse. Cobra Hug and "Dear Populace...".

Please commence with the making. ^-^ 

Paul-André Hamel (tek27) says: Yeah, that "dear populace" thing is great! ^_^ I think that's pretty much how the original Frankenstien's monster would have been if he were more litterate.
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

Rampage... in the letters column!


Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says: Canadian Rampage! Hug Me
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

*hugs basil*

Hee! She's so cute- and polite. 

David Palmer (viadd) says:

Actually, the original Frankenstein's 'Monster' was highly literate.

"One night, during my accustomed visit to the neighbouring wood, where I collected my own food, and brought home firing for my protectors, I found on the ground a leathern portmanteau, containing several articles of dress and some books. I eagerly seized the prize, and returned with it to my hovel. Fortunately the books were written in the language the elements of which I had acquired at the cottage; they consisted of Paradise Lost, a volume of Plutarch's Lives, and the Sorrows of Werter. The possession of these treasures gave me extreme delight; I now continually studied and exercised my mind upon these histories, whilst my friends were employed in their ordinary occupations."

Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

and remember people. the greatest tragedy about frankensteins Creature (monster is the wrong word) is this: He had no name. he didnt even give himself a name.

at least, the no-name thing was the bit that my class latched onto when i read it in highschool.

Justin Grubbs (the_purple_knight) says: Absolutely Beautiful.
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says: What is wrong with "A Houseboat on the Styx" anyway?
Incog Neato (ghede) says: I don't know about anyone else, but I want to toss around some Victorians.
Rockphed (rockphed) says:

Basil, your coment makes no sense.  Surely you are talking to some other crowd of slightly crazy people because I can't find any reference to "A Houseboat on the Styx" in this forum of insanity.

Miikka Ryökäs (kizor) says:

WP, that sole bastion of knowledge that lets me masquerade as a (badly twisted) civilized person, says that the genre of Bangsian fantasy is defined as taking place partially or entirely in the hereafter. Bangs seems to have been an interesting person, certainly one of the historical characters who I'd fight if given the chance.

The best resort for tossing around some Victorians - that I know of - is the real-time strategy game Rise of Legends, and even there they're closer to renaissance Italians and it takes some time to get the clockwork spiders that can mow their way through crowds properly.

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: Umm... just how old is Unity, anyway?  She seems to remember Mustachio's rampage, but Sweetheart dealt with Unities.... timewarp?
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

When it comes to Victorian tossing, its shameful how much I identify with Mr. Hyde.



Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Unity "dunno the details" because she wasn't there, mouse. But she's a keen student of rampages...she knows about Mustachio's like a diehard baseball fan could tell you the details of the game where Babe Ruth hit his last home run.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: Re Unity's line in the last panel ... now I have this mental image of Disraeli muttering under his breath, "One o' this days, Victoria ... Bam!  Zoom!"
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

"Spats totally scuffed" - ROFLMAOASTC!

I once burnt a hole in a spat while flying paper airplanes carrying burning magnesium out my bedroom window into the woods next door. Some of the magnesium fell inside the house (on the spat) and I didn't notice it until I got back inside from putting out the fire in the woods.

Incog Neato (ghede) says: Tiff Hudson, you should not be allowed near magnesium, paper, or any combustables. Bad! Bad!
Chab Guthrie (chab) says:


 And I thought that I was the last person on earth to have read HOUSEBOAT ON THE RIVER STYX {My grandfather's copy - & I am not young.}

 However, a word to Unity:  "Let's not be getting down on an Ohio Valley boy!" 

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says: This may very well be the oldest punchline in all of Skin Horse. I originally wrote it for North of Space, the strip I drew in high school. Revenge against John Kendrick Bangs is a dish best served cold.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: :blink:
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

Incog Neato says: "I don't know about anyone else, but I want to toss around some Victorians."


I wonder if that's where the term "Tosser" came from...

(See first definition in last entry...or don't...) 

Joe Charneskie (mutant-sentry) says:

Does Sweetheart have thumbs?  If not the "gun in a bell-tower" style rampage is out.   Mowing people down in a car would be hard too...

Can a talking dog really do much of a rampage?  I mean what's gonna happen.  Scratch some people, bite some, maybe maul a few, insult anyone in ear shot (maybe spew a stream of invectives so obscean as to make a pirate cry)...and then the people from Animal Control show up with their sedative darts and thats it.


But I'm sure I will be proved wrong as things progress...

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: ..........

(jaw drops)
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says: "Unity are you thinking what I'm thnking"
Incog Neato (ghede) says: Wait... but... Don't we already punch eachother? and our... brain... hurting... children... punch yes?
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

Umm... Unity expects to produce children?  I mean, zombie and all that.  Of course, she could probably assemble some!

Having seen my sister's kids at play, I doubt she'll have to force them to punch each other....

Can a talking dog really do much of a rampage?  

"Dog bites man":  not news.  "Dog wins mayoral debate"...   Hmmm!


Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

"Unity are you thinking what I'm thnking"

"I think so, Sweetheart, but if chickens aren't mammals, how do they have breasts?"

They're Sweetheart and the Zomb ...
Yes, Sweetheart and the Zomb ...
One is the leader,
The other's da bomb!
Diplomacy and force,
They work for "Skin Horse" ...
They're Sweetheart ...
They're Sweetheart and the Zomb, Zomb, Zomb, Zomb,

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Unity could always make some children out of spare parts, I suppose. But I think she was being uncharacteristically broad-minded and using "our" in the "all the people of the world" sense. Such phil-misanthropy!
Mee R. (mee) says: Thank friggin' god, I was wondering when the beating of historical figures would commence!
K C (spotweld) says: Unity is sort of a bit like the (Girl Genius) Jeager's, isn't she?
Joe Charneskie (mutant-sentry) says: Hey she is, all she needs is a kooky accent and a cool hat. "Any plan ver you loose you hat is a BAD PLAN!"
K C (spotweld) says: Agreed, Unity needs an impressive hat.
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says: Ed Gedeon says:

"They're Sweetheart and the Zomb ..."


Once again, Ed, you *ARE* Teh Awesome!

Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

Bless you Ed G for getting that. :)

And for doing such a wonderful thing with it.


Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Hat!

K C (spotweld) says:

...  Unity vs. Gen. John Stark!

Who'll give me odds?

Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says: It's only right she should take on fictional opponents. I'd go for Casca, the Eternal Mercenary ... but that may be too obscure.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

Given the propensity of Mad Scientists to clone, reanimate, and duplicate people, not to mention the various forms of time travel, Unity's hobby might not be as useless as one might think.

I'm sure that somewhere out there, there is at least one Mad Scientist building Zombie Mecha-Lincoln. 

Or if Unity ever got sick of working for Skin Horse, I bet the British Library-Special Projects Division could find a use for someone who has plans in place for defeating every major historical figure.  

....And the mere fact that the squeaky octopus needs strategizing against is somewhat worrying.  I mean, it could just be a dog thing, but it might also be because it regularly pwns Sweetheart in their weekly chess games.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Susie:  "I don't know what's worse -- that you're fighting a stuffed tiger, or that you seem to be losing."

Calvin:  "I'm not losing!  Hobbes cheats!"

My cats strategize against their stuffed mousies.  Right now, the mousies are planning their summer offensive from their secure fortress under the loveseat.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Unity vs. Wagner!
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

"Right now, the mousies are planning their summer offensive from their secure fortress under the loveseat."

I mass attack to capture the cat's food dish, no doubt. 

Terry Smith (tjlsmith) says: She'd have her hands full aginst Casca. Loved those books.
Paul-André Hamel (tek27) says: Michael Brewer - Hey, a Read or Die reference! ^_^ Sweet! And yes, Hobbes cheats, lord knows why, since tigers are so obviously superior to humans physically. But then again, Hobbes was orriginally caught by Calvin in a very simplistic trap baited with a tuna fish sandwich, so...
Jeremy Berg (pisceneanteater) says: Bonus points for how awesomely cute the last line is, and how cute Sweetheart looks while saying it (boo-ya dotted eyes [no homophonic pun intended]).  Not sure what the bonus points are added onto mind you, but. . .
Justin Grubbs (the_purple_knight) says:

but it might also be because it regularly pwns Sweetheart in their weekly chess games.

Was that a Powerpuff Girls reference. If so, I'm sorry for having understood it. If not, I'm sorrier it even popped into my mind. 

Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says: Hmmm.... what about Teddy rosevelt? He was fairly badass.
Mark Orr (agentoracle) says:

A hard one?  I suppose she's allready thought of one for (Music Swells)


OLIVER CROMWELL  (lord protector of England)


Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: It wasn't intionally a powerpuff girls ref.  I just figured that Sweetheart was probably the type to strategize in intellectual conflicts.
Joe Charneskie (mutant-sentry) says: Unity v Mark Anthony as presented in HBO's Rome.   If they both live through the battle I see them getting roaring drunk together...
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

Well you know the old saying "Zombies Rampage, Machines slaughter but queens swarm."



Michael Martin (mcmartin) says: I would suggest that machines, in fact, destroy.
Quentin Long (cubist) says: 0/~ "Oliver Cromwell is on his way / (and) Oliver's Army is here to stay..." 0/~
Miikka Ryökäs (kizor) says:

Ah, the treachery of old wisdom. As tempting as the above proverb is, it is clearly from a time closer to Rossum's Universal Robots than these modern days of titanium, atomic energy and the true extent of Man's folly. Machines now destroy, that is clear.

There are some consequences to deal with. What crushes or crumbles when machines don't? Giant lizards? Also, where is slaughtering now assigned? I was tempted to give it to skeletons, but skeletons murder.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: What do Mads do, then?
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says: Mads monologue.
NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says: Basil is right. Indeed, that's also how you refer to a group of them: A deady monologue of Mad Scientists at the ready.
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says: A Rampage of Zombies just sounds right, doesn't it?
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

Shaenon is right this is certainly one of the most unusual fandoms in all the internets. :)

NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says:

One gets what one puts out. ^-^

Now, to go through the archives and find my five favorite quotes to put on shirts. "One does not rampage..." just made it, btw.

NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says:

Ok, that was harder than I thought.  Finally cut it down to five winners,  three runners up, and that required skipping all but the most important part of the Borrowers storyline!! o_O

Planning on doing a fan art of my five favorite voices in my head - I mean, original characters - with the winners, plus a few shirts for the Skin Horse cast if I don't hate my drawing TOO much. :P Be afraid!

The winners, by personality (Some paraphrasing on the quotes, all inspiration (C) Shaenon and Jeffrey):

Inner Child: Big words scary. HUG ME! 

Voice of Reason: The situation is under control. I'm a psychologist. Now, where did I put my therapy puppets?

The scary one: Dear Populace, you have displeased me. Regards, The Monster.

Attitude/Sexuality: I came for the escalation, Sweetheart! 

Logic:  Please do not be frightened by my cultural dialect which requires me to say "Destroy" when what I actually mean is "Destroy". Destroy!

Runners Up:

- "Killing" and "Eating" are forms of interaction.

- But you hang out with zombies, talking dogs, and me. What the hell do YOU know?

- One does not rampage; it's such a common thing to do. One swarms.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

I thought that the collective noun would be "a shamble of zombies".  Unless they're the running kind.

Hmmm ... in a post-Apocalyptic Pamplona, would they have "The Running of the Zombies"?

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: NigaiAmai Yume: Can't wait to see it!  :)
Basil Jelly (basil_jelly) says:

I've just noticed something. The comments from the audience of 'Skin Horse' are already stranger than all but the strangest during the run of 'Narbonic'. It's almost as if there was an experiment in the forced evolution of the outre.



Incog Neato (ghede) says:

Madness is like an old blanket, warm and comforting... it's also made of human skin tanned and stitched together.

Gram-gram was a little odd. Mailmen stopped showing up at her door.

Eric Burns (ericburns) says:

Unity would take General John Stark. It would be simple. "General! Look! Friedrich Baum and a force of dismounted Brunswick Dragoons!" Then, while his back was turned....

Molly Stark would have Unity running scared inside of eight minutes. She might be missing a leg, mind, but Unity would be terrifed.

As for Peggy Shippen? Well, Unity always wants a nice set of spare boobs, right?

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile