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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Alpha beyotch!
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: I did.

Good times.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Oh, Sweetheart, you *are* the Alpha Bitch.  (I use the term in the biological sense of a female canine.)

Then again, "Alpha Bitch" could be a breakfast cereal for those with PMS ...

Yes, I am, in fact, going to Hell ...

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: Not to mention Sweetheart just rescued the situation while his erstwhile judges were dithering with the firemen....
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Sweetheart's on a bureaucratic rampage.  See her standing atop a ruin of tumbled filing cabinets, tearing her way through the flimsy bonds of red tape with which the minions of hierarchy attempt to bind her...
NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says:

Love love love love love love love love LOVE Sweetheart!!!!!

I believe she's now my Voice of Reasons' (Both of them) patron saint . ^-^

John Campbell (jcampbel) says: There need to be more reasons to use the phrase "panda-related damage".
Rob (rrreed) says:

Plus even more reasons to use the phrase, "zombie- and panda-related damage"!

And someone get Lim-Lim a pair of Emergency Pants®
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says: *heart*
Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says: guess they didnt take her serrious about those axes. or their hideing skills are right up there with their self-preservation instinct.
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: A battleaxe? Where'd that come from? Or are these SCA firefighters?
Rob (rrreed) says: I suspect Unity probably grabbed it at the same time and place as the pickaxe. Maybe there's a Renaissance fair in the neighborhood.

Say, it's dripping — something…
Joshua Kronengold (mneme) says:

Clearlly, in this world, this is what a fire axe looks like.

"Fire-axe related damage".  So what did Unity -do- with the fire axe?


Rob (rrreed) says: Okay, now we're up to "zombie-, panda-, pickaxe-, and fireaxe-related damage". Wonder if we'll get to add "cat-" to the list!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(sung to the tune of "Groovy Kind Of Love")

Even with one arm, she's
Eager to do harm, she's
Trigg'ring the alarm, she's
Ready for a fight!

Panda fighting skillz!
Busting open cages!
Oh how she rampages
Through the night!

See her having fun!
Man, we'd better run
From the zombie with an axe!

NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says:

Fear the logical ones.

First they win by figuring things out.

Then, when that doesn't work, they can snap and channel their inner Unity.

Two for one! 

Paul-André Hamel (tek27) says: Ah, good old logic. Remember, just because violence isn't the answer doesn't mean that it isn't the question, either. Sometimes, you just need to ask! ^_^
Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says:

Fear the logical ones.


At this rate, though, you'll have as many tee-shirts as you have comics... 

Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says: See, now THAT was a rampage.
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: Sometimes violence is the answer, but you gotta make sure you get the right question.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Uh-oh.
Rob (rrreed) says:

I forget; is it the right to bare arms, or the right to arm bears?
Michael Taub (otakuloki) says: But Unity doesn't need a right arm - she needs to bear someone's left arm. 
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Fireman before Unity: one left arm.

Fireman after Unity: one arm left.

She should just go to the Smith & Wesson website and look thru their arms catalog.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Careful, Maya...Unity may decide she has the right to bear arms.
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

She's got that disarming smile again...

 But, legally, she's got them dead to rights.

D. Connolly (theogrin) says: As handy as you folks are with puns, I get the feeling you're going out on a limb with these.
Jeremy Berg (pisceneanteater) says: They're only going out on a limb if some branch of the government decides to politicize the incident after all.  At which point, given the firepower they would need to deal with all these people, things would get quite army.
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says: AAAAUGH!!! The pun-ishment! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!!!
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says: Now now, Edwin. You'll just have to bear it.
Rob (rrreed) says: Oh, great. I've started an arms race.
Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

I hate to muscle in here, but I think some of you are grasping a bit for punch lines.

Not that I'm pointing fingers or anything... 

Dov Mittelman (silentspeaker) says: I have to hand it to you guys. Unity axes one simple question and the lot of you panda to each other's worst punning instincts.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: "We loved Captain Bram!  With some fava beans and a nice chianti, no less!"
Rob (rrreed) says: "That's nothing. I killed Chuck Norris! Unfortunately the Grim Reaper is still trying to work up the courage to tell this to him, so if you'll excuse me…"
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: :blink: :blink:
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: ¬_¬
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Well, he probably died of natural causes or weather-related issues, and would have wanted the pack to take nourishment from his abandoned fleshy shell....
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: DvD:  Indeed, the first time this came up, Sweetheart mentioned it was his final request.
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says: Obviously he was very eco-aware, I mean, that;s really the best way to dispose of a body without affecting the enviornment....
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: It's not cannibalism if you're not the same species. (As my half-orc ranger once told the elven rogue.)
Incog Neato (ghede) says:

It is cannibalism when you are the same species...

Also, I happen to have a few recipes. The Jerky in the Alfred Packer memorial cafeteria is phenominal.

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

Sweetheart had a creator with good taste who also just happened to taste good...


(What? Didn't like the pun? Sorry, Charlie...) 

Brian Rogers (billionsix) says: I like Sweetheart. She is one of those people who are neurotic and insecure, but only on their own time. When she is working, she becomes decisive, confident, and focused. She's one of those people who find their strength in their work, I think.
Josh MacLeod (alcar) says: Ah, yes, spackle returns I see :)
Rob (rrreed) says: Frankly, I'm getting tired of the hole matter. At least Unity and Sweetheart are patching things up!
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ha-haa!
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: ...I hope we can avoid a spackle debacle.
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

An Epigraph, composed in the manner of the noted poet and humorist Mr Ogden Nash, concerning the history of Field Commander Captain's Fancy Valentine Sweetheart of the Skin Horse Project.

She ate her


Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: SPACKLE!!!  Spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle spackle wwhhhhooooooooohooooooooooo!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Also, you all know my fondness for song parodies.  I started writing some silly lyrics, sung to the tune of "Colonel Bogey" (aka "Bridge On The River Kwai" marching song) ... "Spackle ... it fills up holes in walls!  Spackle ... apply it to your --" and at that point decided I'd better drop it.

Valerie Kaplan (shinyhappygoth) says: Pete: Ah, a fellow pastiche artist.  Yay Ogden Nash!
Sor Cyress (sorcyress) says: I will second the yay ogden nash comment. Hats off to you, Messer Bleackley!
Aaron Shades (prof_tinker) says:

I am the very model of the Modern Mutant Animal,
I've information dead humanal and pychotic mineral.
I deal with lion capture, and read from naughty goblin serials
From chapter six to chapter nine, to find the good material.
I'm very well aquained too with killer robotsI have met.
From zombie girls to bears in coats, I quiet them with growling threats.

 (Sung to the tune of The Major-Generals song)


Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Mutant taco, run!
Rob (rrreed) says: Ah, there's just something reassuring about the predictability of Unity's rampages — like the difference between a hurricane and an earthquake…
NigaiAmai Yume (nigaiamai_yume) says:

Oh, dear, Unity has some pieces from some sort of fate magic user (A particular favorite power of mine). Things just - go where they need to go.

I am even more terrified and in love with her now. ^-^

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Hm. Does throwing canned goods into the next village get rid of Mad Scientists?
Austin Buelt (mearn4d10) says: Maybe if they're cans of Wonderflonium, SIB.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

I tried carving a bear whistle out of wood.  I found out too late that a wooden whistle wouldn' whistle.

Jeremy Berg (pisceneanteater) says: I died laughing at the last line in panel 2. That's right- I died, and I'm still posting.  MAD SCIENCE!
Rob (rrreed) says:

"So that's, you know, coming along. I'm working with a vocal coach."
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile