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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: The really funny part is that she hasn't even finished one glass yet.
Justin Grubbs (the_purple_knight) says: Maybe not a glass, but she seems to drinking straight from the bottle pretty well.
Ray Phoenix (graypheonix) says:

Would be eevn worse if that had been non-alcoholic fake scotch. 

 Reall, really, a LOT worse.  

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Note to self:...
Camille Dumas (camidumas) says: She looks like a Muppet.
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

Must be nice to leave your responsibilities stuffed into a bottle -- IIRC, Sweetheart did that to herself... she could be watching Cablevision and munching popcorn right now!

Now I imagine she'll go taunt Tip for a while.... 

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "What If God Was One Of Us", by Alanis Morissette)

If dogs had a drink,
How would they act?
And would they get in your face?
Not know the diff'rence 'tween
A door and a chair?
And then start laughing
At a real old punchline ...

What if dogs got really drunk?
Talking dogs got really drunk?
Yeah, she's drunker than a skunk,
Gonna gather her team ...
She's still the alpha in her dreams,
Although it's harder than it seems ...
Looks like she's running out of steam ...
Her and her buddy, ol' Jim Beam ...

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: Yay, drunk doggie
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

There are consequnces when someone who doesn't drink much drinks a lot of high-test.

I hope Nick can get his upholstery cleaned.

Jon W. (kd7sov) says: That is, indeed, a muppet in the last panel. I'm not familiar enough with them to say which one.
Terry Callihan (terygon) says:

Rolph. Trust me.

Now am I a complete Muppet geek that I registered here just to answer that comment..?

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: More muppet geekery: Draw a mouth on Dilbert and see who you get.
Drew (pseudowolf) says: Beaker?? So *that's* what he's been doing since the show ended.
Timothy Whitcomb (hroar) says: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew?
Ray Phoenix (graypheonix) says:

Hey, no one likes being stuck in a trunk, why WOULDN"T they put a safety emergency open knob on a government operated black ops heli. 


 In addition, in first.  

ribbles (ribbles) says: She's so cute when she's angry!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Footloose", by Kenny Loggins)

She's stinking ... she's plowed!
She's thinking ... aloud!
Can't walk straight ... so what?
She'll chew that zombie's butt!
She's on a mission!
She'll pull that big orange bar!
Soon she'll be wishin'
That she had stayed in the car!

And now she's got 'em, loose
Feet!  Loose feet!
Staggering down the street!
Bold, but cold!
So Nick can say, "I told --
You so! Don't go!
Way too much flaking snow!"
Beat ... that sleet!
Now for justice, get loose feet!

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

You know what you doing.  Move 'LEVER' for great justice!

 (All your zombie are belong to us?) 

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

In response to yesterday's Muppet comments, I can confirm that I am strongly influenced as an artist by the Muppet Show scriptbook I owned as a kid. I think this has come up before.
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: I CAN HAZ LEVUR?
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Why, there must be fifty ways to love your lever.
Matt Buchwald (themysticalone) says: Sweetheart is going to take off every Zig.
David Toboz (professor_zobot) says: And then she runs into a tree and starts yelling at it.
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: An angry, drunk Sweetheart charges into town to find the team that has rejected her.  I see an epic rampage coming on; somewhere in Paradise, there's a trash can with her name on it, waiting to be tipped over.
Sam Setter (eraser820) says:

Main screen turn on heh

There is no chance to survive, make your time.

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

*distributes fragmentation clams liberally about the comments section*

Zero Wing was so last millennium. 

EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says: Zero Wing is forever.  Move Sweetheart!  You know what you doing!
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

What? a whole FARMING strip without a cuss word??? Nick's losing his touch!

(And, no doubt due to the weather, his sense of touch as well...)

Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says: Oh dear, she's self-narrating.  And out loud, too.
Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says:

Aw, drat.  I lost first comment position. :) 

Anyway, isn't it adorable how she completely sounds like a cat in that last panel?  "I meant to do that!"

Kenneth Graves (kag) says: The spruce had it coming.
Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says:

(Sung to the tune of White seemed appropriate.)

I'm walking through a large snowstorm
My navigation skills are strong
Though the wind is hissing, an' warm days I'm missing
I'll be there with a lecture before long

Justin Grubbs (the_purple_knight) says: I think it's funny that, as much as Shaenon complains about it, her comics are still full of dialogue. I suppose both the creators are to blame for this, and I'm not complaining. I see it as more of a feature than a bug.
Ray Phoenix (graypheonix) says:

Personally, I think that except for fights scenes, dialogue is the major draw to a comic.  Next to the artwork, of course. 

 I mean hey, what's the point of having awesome art if you don't have something witty to accompany it?

Naomi H (starbright) says: Her attempt to look dignified in the last panel fails because she's just so adorable with her face covered in snow.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE:  "Kentucky Rain" by Elvis Presley)

Sweetheart goes to see
Where are Tip and Unity?
Even though Nick says, "It's hopeless, what's the use?"
As this brave and noble dog
Keeps a running monologue,
She'll be charging ... head-first into a spruce!

Alaska snow keeps comin' down!
And just ahead's the little town,
Where I can
Rest and not freeze!
(With a large cocoa, please!)
Head butt-ing trees,
In the deep Alaskan snow!
In the deep Alaskan snow!

Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says: Ed, as someone who has been reading all the comments for the entirety of Skin Horse, I must mention that you never fail to amaze.  I am in awe of your supreme filking skills.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: ...and can't see anything, either.
Minivet (minivet) says: I can't wait for her to find the White Lightning and start wielding the Power Cosmic.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: And today's "Yep" prize goes to David Toboz, for yesterday's comment:

"And then she runs into a tree and starts yelling at it."
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Deirdre:  Aw, shucks, 'tweren't nothin' ... thanks.  (And thanks to others who complemented my songs).

My dream is to be the lyricist for "Narbonic: The Musical".

Terry Smith (wcfan) says:

If you want good dialog , read Scarey Go Round at


Nate Cull (natecull) says:

 (Okay, Kentucky Rain deserves... November Rain)

When look into your eyes
I can see a Schnapps-y glow
Sweetheart like I told you
You'll get stuck in an ice floe

But nothin' lasts forever
and I know you're gonna go
Cause it's hard to keep a husky
from the cold Alaska snow

So if you want to leave me
Sweetheart make it so
Pop the hatch and start out walkin'
through the cold Alaska snow

Do you need some time in the snow?
Do you need some time all alone?
Ooh, everybody needs some time in the snow
Ooh, don't you know you've hit a tree in the snow?

But never mind the darkness
You'll make it through I know
Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold Alaska snow

Don'cha think that ya need your zombie
Go on out and getcha zombie
Everybody needs a zombie
Well maybe not everyone

Don'cha think that ya need your zombie
Go on out and getcha zombie
Everybody needs a zombie
And a scary girly-man
David Toboz (professor_zobot) says:

This is just more proof for my theory that there's a secret conspiricy out there devoted solely to keeping me content in life. I'm NEVER right about things.

Oh, on a sidenote: I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Yaaay! [/childish excitement]

Erik Waer (raistandantilus) says: What is this?  Has Sweetheart finally decided that her life would sound more exciting if she narrates it like a National Geographic special?
shui lung (draconautus) says: Ed, how big is your musical library? Or do you actually keep the lyrics to all those songs in your head?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@shui: I don't need the lyrics, I just remember the tunes.  If I do need to look up lyrics for reference, there's this thing called the "Internet".

Yes, I do listen to oldies and classic rock stations, and make notes of songs that I haven't used before.  I got lots more, don't worry ...

Terry Callihan (terygon) says: Maybe Sweetheart should lay off on the old Doonesbury collections...
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: Sweetheart needs a pair of dogie snow goggles.
Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says:

@Ed: I would so go see that.  Over and over and over...

 @Erik: Everything is more exciting when your life is narrated!  It only seems fair that on a day when she was feeling insignificant she started narrating her own.  After all, what if her lecture to Unity produces no kowtowing?  At least she will have had the self-esteem boost of a narrated journey. :)

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

Erik Waer: Has Sweetheart finally decided that her life would sound more exciting if she narrates it like a National Geographic special?

I suspect being drunk out of her fuzzy skull would have something to do with it, too! 

David Toboz:  I'm NEVER right about things.

Hey, this was close enough.  If my guess (she drops in to rescue/torment the handcuffed Tip) comes up next, we can start crediting the Dave conspiracy.  ;-)


Drew (pseudowolf) says: Sweetheart's narration reminded me of the narration of Snoopy's adventures as the WWII flying ace.
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Sweetheart is related to Snoopy on her mother's side, existentially, at least. :)
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Mage Cat: Hell, I do self-dialogue all of the time, and I'm never drunk.

At least she found a tree. Dogs love trees.
Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says:

@ miyaa: I guess I'm just used to keeping my narration in my head.

On a related note, my dad says that he talks to himself when I'm not around so he can have an intelligent conversation.

Erin Palette (palette) says: Sweetheart has taken Adorable Lessons from the Muppets, apparently.
The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

Heh, the return of Rolph!


The Auld Grump, tune in tomorrow, when Nurse Tip says: 'Ooh, wow Dr Bob, that really was a shaggy dog story!' 

Rob (rrreed) says: Sweetheart's a chimera created by a mad scientist (engineer! <SLAP>). She could actually be part Rowlf for all we know.
Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says:

Just as long as she doesn't start singing:

(To the tune of You and I and George...I'm sorry...the Rowlf concept was just too tempting.)

You and Tip and I

Were searching for some missing men

And then Tip met a girl, and Unity some cute guys

I was left alone, abandoned by the Skin Horse team

And found some company

Who gave alchohol to meeeee!

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Cute is sometimes 'big eyes small mouth.' Sweetheart is big mouth, hidden eyes. But still adorable.
shui lung (draconautus) says: At least she's a happy drunk . . . and adorable.
Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says: It is certainly a good sign that when she is drunk she not only doesn't get less happy, but is actually cheerfully able to cope with, oh say, freezing cold weather, blizzards, and being lost in said situation. :)  And I can honestly say that being able to be that adorable while covered in snow and freezing cold was something that I thought only a two year old could do.  I am impressed with Sweetheart.  Her cute skills are impressive.  And subconscious nonetheless!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

As long as we're on a Muppets kick... 
(TUNE: Theme song from "The Muppet Show")

We heard the Guardsmen screaming;
We're here to find the source!
Now nothing's what it's seeming
To the members of Skin Horse!

We flew here like a rocket;
I'm left behind, of course!
I'll sit and freeze my cockpit,
You can scrub my deck, Skin Horse!

[Sweetheart, drunk:]
I'se come to decishun!
So lissen, boyz 'n' gurlz!
I'se gonna save dis misshun!
But first, I'se gotta hurlz!

I want to start attacking
And kill without remorse!
But first I need some snacking,

For the most necrotic, the plane exotic,
The boss erotic, the beast neurotic,
We're the se-cret pro-ject called Skin Hoooooooorse!

(Unity tries to hit high note on trumptet; her ears pop off.  "That's unheard of.")

Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says: Ed?  Your songs are wonderful...but that pun made my brain hurt.  Good job, as always. :)
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: OK, I was wondering how Sweetheart was going to get Tip out of the handcuffs. She will just have UNITY rip the bed apart. (After taking photos of course.)
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: @crosshair: Unity's going to beat up the sherriff with the headboard.  With Tip still attached.
chic geek (onechicgeek) says:

Ed? Take a bow. Everybody-a big old hand of applause for Ed.

Clapclapcheerclaphuzzah! clapclaphooray!

And here I thought we'd have a drunk, lonely, Sweetheart stumbling across a smooth talking dog-(perhaps a former member of her pack, who has taken control of the town ) and boom! Cut scene to Sweetheart on maternity leave...

You guys think Sweetheart's adorable? Imagine Sweetheart puppies!

Oh, yeah. We'd have to have the rest of the cast die gruesomely to balance out the cuteness if that ever happens....nevermind. 


Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says:

If Sweetheart does have puppies, will they be sentient?  And will they have the evolutionary "cute" signifiers, or will they have small eyes and a huge mouth.  Or will they have both a big mouth and big eyes?  So. Many. Questions!  :) 

Also, HOORAY ED!!!! *claps wildly, cheering at the top of my lungs*
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(Bowing) Thankyou, thankyouverymuch, I'll be here all week ... and all month ... and well, you get the idea.

Seriously, thanks all!

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Ed: You spent a lot of your morning writing that filk, didn't you?

And I take it that Unity is part Korean.

Rob (rrreed) says:

Waldorf: "How do they do it?"
Statler: "How do we watch it?"
Waldorf: "Why do we watch it?"
Statler: [Breaking the fourth wall] "Why do you watch it?"
Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says:

@miyaa: Of course she is. Unity is the melting pot.

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Okay, can we not have racist jokes in the comments? This is a warning.
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

Deirdre Phoenix says: "And will they have the evolutionary "cute" signifiers, or will they have small eyes and a huge mouth.  Or will they have both a big mouth and big eyes?  So. Many. Questions!  :)"

As long as they don't end up like this:

(It's actually a hoax. The photo is a multiple exposure.) 

Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says: Decidedly disturbing.  I approve.  Besides, you have to admit that if they did end up like that, they would fit in pretty well on the Skin Horse team.  I mean, at least they wouldn't be oozing goo in their sleep!  *amused*
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: Unity must have a better sniffer than Donna Barr - she scented Sweetheart UPWIND...
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: It seems Unity does have a certain level of self control.  Sweetheart sounds more like a 60 pound can of ham here.
Erin Palette (palette) says:

Seriously, I cannot get enough of the half-moon, one-fang Muppet Mouth.

Combine that with the promised Sweetheart-in-Goggles and I might die from the cuteness.

Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says:

Cuteness poisoning is a sad way to go, but if Sweetheart keeps being this adorable, or worse, *gasps* gets even more adorable, it just might be the death of us all.

shui lung (draconautus) says: It's even odds to me whether Sweetheart is more adorable than my dog Arabella, but I can tell you this.  When I carry Arabella like that, a sack of ham is NOT what comes to my mind.  More like a 77 pound sack of caffeine crazed piglets with a tail moving at 60 mph at one end and a tongue that can't possibly fit in her mouth at the other . . . At least Sweetheart is easier to carry! And adorable
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Awwww.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "You're My Soul And My Heart's Inspiration", by The Righteous Brothers)

Dog, single-G, you're canine ...
Dogg, double-G, you're my friend!
Sog-gy and smelly, still fine ...
I will carry your hairy rear end!

You're my dog and my dogg and my pally!
I'm glad I found you, I truly am!
You're my dogg, even soggy and smelly!
Right now you smell like a pickled ham ...

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: I'm betting Unity likes hard-boiled eggs.  And she doesn't peel them first.
Vlad Taltos (flyingfish) says: @Shun: Well, hopefully, Arabella's never been too drunk to move.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: BTW, did anyone notice Sweetheart quoting Sally Field in the first panel?  (Well, she is a *field* agent, after all ...)
Sebastian Banker (sebbo) says:

I can't believe nobody else got here first:


A one-g dog's an an-i-mal

a two-g dogg's your bestest pal

And I will bet a chocolate frog

You've never seen a three-g doggg*


* Depending on your wireless service provider, that is.

Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says: Sebastian, I feel so slow right now.  Thank you for doing that.  Clearly someone had to. :)
shui lung (draconautus) says:

Vlad, Arabella doesn't drink alcohol unless she manages to make someone spill their beer or knocks over said beer with her tail, but I'm pretty sure that she would NEVER be too drunk to move.  I'm convinced she has a small nuclear reactor inside her-possibly in the same pocket universe she keeps her tongue in. Cause there's no way that tongue can possibly fit inside that mouth otherwise . . .

 And Sebastian, I've never seen a three-g doggg, but I've seen pictures of Laika and there was a dog that experienced at least 3 gees

shui lung (draconautus) says: And I just remembered what happened to poor Laika and now I feel sad . . .
Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says: Is it just me, or does Unity in the third panel look,,, worried... about her thought processes that she's thinking out loud just then?
Rick Man (sneaker_nh) says:

I'm enjoying this storyline. It doesn't bode well for the team that the most responsible member is drunk off her furry ass. At least she's a very cute and happy drunk.

A thought occured to me. If this is a werewolf story, what happens if Sweetheart gets  bitten? Does she become a werehuman, and if so is the cuteness transferable? Tip's reaction in that case would be interesting.

Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says: Shui, thank you for making the gravity joke.  I was trying so hard to figure out how to do it, and I greatly appreciate you pulling it off. :)
Timothy Whitcomb (hroar) says: Oh, my!
Erin Palette (palette) says: Dun dun DUNNNNN!
Rob (rrreed) says: Given Unity's demonstrated sense of smell, it seems obvious that the canines in panel 4 are downwind of her and Sweetheart.
Nate Cull (natecull) says: Ahooo! Werewolves of Alaska.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: 5
Deirdre Phoenix (dreamfire) says: Oho! The plot (and the snowstorm) thickens!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "You Can't Always Get What You Want", The Rolling Stones)

We watched while the weather turned vicious,
As she took our cousin for a ride ...
She looked like she might be delicious,
Though she smelled just like formaldehyde ...

A dark silhouette that will haunt ...
A dark silhouette that will haunt ...
A dark silhouette that will haunt ...
And if you don't watch out,
You're gonna find
How we feed!

shui lung (draconautus) says: Oh God they're feeding! They're feeding!  Oh wait . . . that's Purina Dog Chow, not my leg . . .
EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says:


What's that?  Sounds like an other shoe...

Timothy Whitcomb (hroar) says:


"they call her, Leader of the pack!" Vroom,vroom!

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Rob perhaps the reason Unity can't smell them is because they don't have tasty living flesh anymore.  I mean this plotline is called "Dead Dogs" after all.
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile