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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Given Nick's facility with electronics and Unity's facility for destruction, I suspect that they can probably deal with those locks now, one way or another.
Rob (rrreed) says: The parallels between Captain Bram's "progeny" and Edward Scissorhands has not gone unnoticed. And he was expecting these dogs to conquer the United States without opposable thumbs?

Of course, it only took the writers of Dr. Who forty some-odd years to address the problem of the Daleks not being able to handle stairs…
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "Witch Hunt", Rush)

The night is black with canine teeth
The air is thick and still
The pack is gathered underneath
The Captain's dug-out hill

Muzzles distorted in the flickering light
Shadows twisted and grotesque
Silent and stern in the sweltering night
The fridges will be repossessed
Calm in their Canadian right -
Confident their snacks are best

The righteous rise with burning eyes
The hunger will not stop
They long to feed on curds and fries
With gravy on the top

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Dancing Queen", ABBA)

In a dismal abandoned shack,
Sweetheart meets with her former pack ...
Though the Captain had food stores,
We love how it feels
Chasing our "fast food" meals!
We are bloody in tooth and claw!
Hunt our quarry and eat it raw!
Are you not a true canine?
Have you lost your skills?
Sweetheart, I'm truly shocked ...
(Plus the damn door is locked ...)

Give me some damn poutine!
It's the finest of junk cuisine!
Ah, poutine!
Hot, cold, lukewarm, or in between! (Oh yeah!)
I love fries!  I love curds!
I can't describe it in words! (Ooo-ooo-ooo!)
I will howl, make a scene ...
Gimme some damn poutine!

Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: @Rob Reed: Real Daleks don't climb stairs. They level the building.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Cheese currrrrrds...
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: The poor Daleks didn't have to wait for the writers. They had to wait for the CGI.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Mmm...cheese curds.
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: Hmmmm, starving vs preserved processed human junk food. I can't decide
James Kehl (shykta) says:

Uh, isn't the power out? (If it's hard to open doors without thumbs, it's got to be especially hard to pay the bills...!)

Which means... the contents of the fridge are just as likely to qualify for Skin Horse aid as anything else in this deity-forsaken town! 

Mark Chapman (aardvark86) says: Sorry to be a pedant (kidding, I love being a pedant), but the Daleks only had to wait 25 years, not 40 (only) to deal with the stair situation - Sylvester McCoy's Doctor gets a nasty shock in the episode Remembrance of the Daleks when he thinks a flight of stairs is sufficent protection...
nottahottie uglyogre (nottahottie) says: mmmmmmmm cheese curds with extra cheese!!
Rob (rrreed) says: @Mark—I stand corrected. You'd think Captain Bram would have seen that episode, given its age. Or Edward Scissorhands (hard to believe that's nineteen years old now).
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Captain Bram preferred "The Starlost."
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

"The Starlost."

Good Lord! Someone else watched that???

Interesting personal note: I actually won second prize ($10) in a Science Fiction-themed trivia contest years ago because I was able to name the show's two connections with the movie "2001: A Space Odyssey". (Douglas Trumbull-Executive Producer, Kier Dullea-Devon)

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: Starlost? Hadn't heard of that one. Had to look it up. Orphans of the Sky meets Star Trek. Neat idea.
Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says: Anyone interested in Starlost should seek out the Ben Bova novel The Starcrossed.  It's a funny look at the world of TV, inspired by Bova's stint as (ignored) science advisor on the show.  There's also a thinly disguised Harlan Ellison present.
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: "I'm too busy for you to bleed!"
Rob (rrreed) says: Don't worry, Tip. Another few deciliters and the situation will resolve itself…

One way, or another.

(Which obviously means that they're both wrong in this context and we're about to be snookered).

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Hooo boy.
Four Deer (fourdeerinmyyard) says: Tip, if you have to ask....
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Where You Lead I Will Follow", Carole King)

Leading you the way I did,
I botched it up, Gavotte forbid!
I'm running slow to the depths of this cave,
So Sweetheart, our butts you gotta save!

I will bleed ... 'til I'm hollow ...
You can lead, 'cause I feel like crap!
If you need, need me to shut my yap,
I will follow ... while I bleed.

nottahottie uglyogre (nottahottie) says: Oh no, looks like Tip is going into nuclear pout mode!
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Squirrel!
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

He's not just bleeding on his own time, he's bleeding on his Bennetton!! 

To almost quote Kliban, "I'm team leader and you have to obey me because if you don't I can't be team leader any more!"

alphatango (alphatango) says: I absolutely *love* the way Sweetheart's ears move from panel 2 to panel 3, then back up again.
Lady Asphodel (ladyasphodel) says: I suspect they're not planning to cure Tip at all, but just taking him to open the refrigerator rooms.
Rob (rrreed) says: Squirrel!
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Priorities.
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says:

Huh. **headscratch** Just how DOES a werewolf in wolf-mode crossdress, anyway? Wear a sparkly pink collar or a string of pearls? Claw polish?

 ...I wonder what the entire pack'd do if somebody shouted "SQUIRREL!!!"?

Ray Phoenix (graypheonix) says:

Damn, someone beat me to the squirrel comment. 

 Oh well, the question that remains is rather simple, if you turn intoa  werewolf, is that just at night, or on the full moon?  

 Or is this a case of being like turning into a werewolf, but not nearly the same?

The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

Hmmm, why do I have a strange feeling that Sweetheart's old pack and the dogs from UP would understand each other completely?

 The Auld Grump, as for werewolves in high heels... Not in the woods!

Rob (rrreed) says: And just how does Sparkle know that Tip is "infected" and not "cursed"? Was Captain Bram pursuing a few other lines of research?
Nate Cull (natecull) says: TUNE: "Sweater", Weezer

I'm me, Tip me, a man, I am
In dress, and skirt, and heels, Wolfman

Stupid wolves, they destroyed my sweater
Chomped right through it, to the bone

Oh no, it go, it gone, bye-bye
Angora smock, so sad, it died

Stupid wolves, they destroyed my sweater
Chomped right through it, to the bone
Watch it unravel, I'm feeling furry
No more fashion sense, I come undone

Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: You know, if being infected made it necessary for Tip to stay in the frozen north and pursue a new career, he could always be... a Lumberjack!
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Iiiiii'm a werewolf-jack and I'm OK...
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: Canadian werewolf lumberjack... I think I saw something kinda like that in a movie recently.
Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says:

So maybe if it is an infection, we might just get to see Dr. Lee again.  With her connections she might want to do some research on this little virus, and as a by-product cure our Tip.


James Kehl (shykta) says:


 I don't think Dr Lee would cure Tip out of the goodness of her heart... she'd more likely just keep him chained up as a 'test subject' (with mil-spec fluffy pink handcuffs 'n all!)

 Now there's a question - would the Tipwolf still have Tip's 'super power'? (And would that be legal?)

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Lumberjack Song", Monty Python)

Running across the frozen snow, as we race through the Alaskan wilderness!
Hunting the caribou!  The mighty moose!  The squirrel!  (SQUIRREL!)
The growling of the pack!  The cries of our prey!
With my bitch (and I mean that literally) by my side,
We'd howl ... howl ... howl!

Oh, I'm a lycanthrope and I'm all right!
I work all day and I hunt all night!
   (He's a a lycanthrope and he's all right!
    He works all day and he hunts all night!)

I run through woods, I hunt my prey,
I bay at each full moon!
Each week I see my voice coach,
So I can howl in tune!
   (He runs through woods, etc.)
   (Repeat chorus)

I run through woods, I pee on trees,
I eat raw meat for meals!
At times I feel unhappy
That I can't wear high heels!
   (He runs through woods, and so on ... wait, what was that about high heels??)
   (Repeat chorus)

I run through woods, I groom my coat,
I'm not like other men!
I'm two-for-one in fetish ...
A furry bishonen!
   (He runs through woods, he ... WTF??  Ewww...)
   (Male pack members wander off, all females cluster around Tip)
   (Remainder of song rated NC-17)

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Another fashion casualty?  Tip has got to learn to shop REI for field assignments.
Hope Eternal Reigns (hopeeternalreigns) says: It's probably a good thing Tip didn't get a run in his pantyhose too.
KaT Adams (kat_adams) says: @ James Kehl: Well, now I can't visit Deviant Art or Fur Affinity today without wanting to gouge out my eyes, thank you.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: ...You could visit DeviantArt or FurAffinity before without wanting to gouge out your eyes? Man, that's a superpower all by itself.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Lumberwerewolfjack song: Win.


Terry Smith (wcfan) says: The liver! It's the best!
Four Deer (fourdeerinmyyard) says:

Ed:  Big silly grin on my face.  Werejack Song running in circles in my head, yipping and snapping at its own tail.

Sparkle is not very well-named, is she.  Good thing Buddy is!

Timothy Whitcomb (hroar) says:

Werecow, moo,moo,moo! Shes a werecow!

And a pretty little heifer, too!

Rob (rrreed) says: Flippy T. Fishead & The Mighty Ground Beeves FTW!

On more serious note: yep, sure looks like the Captain had a few more irons in the fire than just Sweetheart and her sibs. The question is, how did the virus get loose in the first place? ::glancing askance at Sparkle::
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Actually, I'm a big fan of the spleen.

...something here about "this is why they let Buddy think he's the Alpha" 

David Vander Deen (dvddeen) says: Actually when Buddy first appeared he was a quite competent alpha. He recognized a dangerous situation, made decisions, and gave out orders that were followed.  Even though it later appeared that Sparkle is the true Alpha, I have to say she still isn't.  When push comes to shove, they still do things Buddy's way.  Perhaps it is actually Sparkle who only thinks she is alpha.
James Kehl (shykta) says:

Hrm, I sure hope Sparkle gets the right serum, and the correct dosage. You'd get no respect as a werehamster (now, where did I read a story like that?)

Or, maybe he'll just grow a beard every evening (oh no, so unbishy!)

Any other amusing side effects likely?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Thanks to all for the compliments ... here we go again ...

(TUNE: "Hot Hot Hot", Buster Poindexter)

Me shoulder bleeding!
An-ti-dote needing!
Give me shot, shot, shot!

Turn into werewolf?
Hey, that's not fair, wolf!
No it's not, not, not!

How to treat ... this infected bite!
Serum's neat ... I hope it's right!
So check, and just make sure ...
A ly-can-thro-pic cure!

I'm goin' woof-woof-woof-woof ...
Goin' woof-woof-woof-woof ...
Give me shot shot shot!
Or I'll rot rot rot!

Four Deer (fourdeerinmyyard) says:

Well, thanks are also due to Pete "Mad Scientist" Bleackley for providing the song-cue.

So, song-cue, Pete.

Daniel Ross (nentuaby) says:

You know, it's technically an alpha breeding pair in a wolf pack, not just the one animal. So there's really nothing odd about Sparkle and Buddy both being "the" alpha.

 (Even if husbands are cute when they think they're in charge.)

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "Smells Like Teen Spirit", Nirvana)

Sharpen your claws and bring your friends
He's gonna turn into a fiend
He's over-dressed and self-possessed
Oh no, he'll be a naughty wolf

Hello, hello, uh-oh, ruh-roh

Tear his throat out, it's less dangerous
If nothing else it'll entertain us
He smells stupid and contagious
But his meat will taste delicious

A lycanthrope, a transvestite
A deniable Government agent

He's the best at what he does
But his gift won't work on us
Unless he turns into a furry
That's why we really have to hurry

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Aw.  Who wanted to see how Tip would do as a transvestite werewolf?  Hands?  (not you, Ramon!)
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says:

Man, somebody needs to get Sparkle a cheeseburger...

It'd be kind of interesting if the serum worked only to the extent of affecting Tip's mental processes-- then you'd have the wolf shape but the Tip-mind running it. **grin** He'd fit right in.

Megan Brunner (avid) says: Hmm...side effects for Tip. Aren't wolves supposed to mate for life?
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Among wolves, the alphas are a mated pair. Among dogs there's usually only one alpha and it can be either sex. These mutant dogs seem to have worked out something in between.

It may be a double-bluff, Buddy letting Sparkle think she's the real alpha by acting goofy when he's around her. Sparkle may be smarter and Buddy may need her intelligence but he seems to have better, um, people, skills -- like empathy and compassion.

K C (spotweld) says: ...personally I'd kinda like to see how Tip would look as a were hyena, but that's probably just me.
Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says: Spot> Yeah, that probably is just you.  ;) 
Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says: Unfortunately, it isn't just you, KC, although I never would have come up with that on my own.
Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: That little tiny "thank you." really conveys the scene well. Very cute. It kinda made me want to give Tip a hug. Not that I'd be adverse to hugging him normally, anyway.
EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says: So much for the wolfwolf theory... Ah well :)
David Vander Deen (dvddeen) says: Does that mean Sweetheart needs the vaccine too?  She did get bit on the nose after all.
Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says: @dvddeen I would have to say a resounding yes to that one.
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: I think you need a bigger clue-by-four to apply that hint with, Sparkle.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: *snicker*
'Keiya' (keiya) says:

Sweetheart's probably forgotten about that.


Hope y'all weren't to attached to her. (I forget Sweetheart's gender, but I call literally everyone in Skin Horse her except Nick and whatever-the-tin-dude's-name-is. Yes, this includes Tip, and the guy from the D of I. Deal.

James Kehl (shykta) says: Heh heh heh. Did the question of how Captain Bram got a werewolf vaccine just get lampshaded? Oh, and I'd be all in favor of a werewolfed Sweetheart - she needs a little more Rampage. I wonder if there's any way around the werewolf retrovirus being fatal in nonhumans?
Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says:

Thinking about it more, though, we don't know if Sweetheart's bite broke skin, we never did see blood and she hasn't been complaining much about hurt nose.

 It does appear from the comments in the previous strip that it has to be deep enough to infect.

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

John: More like a deck made out of clue by four.

I hope Capt. Bram had some saved whiskey in the pantry. Sounds like Sweetheart is going to need some.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Well, Tip does qualify as a 'strage human' on several levels.

 And maybe Capt. Bram is where the werewolf virus came from, so he would have a vaccine for it.

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Why is nobody else giggling about the trio of doggy-butts? You can't all be that high-brow.
Rob (rrreed) says: If this isn't an oral vaccine, how the heck are the dogs going to administer it to themselves if and when they need it?
Megan Brunner (avid) says:

The trio of doggie-butts is adorable.  Reminds me of my old Akita.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: I thought that, too, Akita butts. Well, I suppose almost any sort of Spitz dog looks like that going away. :) This has gotten to be even more fun than it was before.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Let 'Em In", Paul McCartney)

Tip comes stumbling through the door,
Tip is hurting like hell!
Tip is bleeding on the floor,
Tip's not feeling too well!
Needing a favor,
Asking us for ...
Med-i-cine ...

Buddy's alpha ... so he thinks!
Sweetheart's griping ... so she drinks!
Sparkle's patience ... running thin!
Waste our secret ... med-i-ciiiiine!

clark brooks (czark) says: Hmmm... Tip's right forepaw looks bigger already!
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

TUNE: "Maxine", Sharon O'Neill

Creases in your white dress, bite marks on your bare skin
Looks like another fine mess you've got yourself into
Whats the matter with you, feeling kinda sick
Well we might have a cure if you take it quick

You're not the only one
To take the wolf flu on
But no-one's ever won
Case 1352
It wasn't made for you
But we need lab rats too..


Rob (rrreed) says: Ahhh. Behold, the power of…

cheese thumbs!
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: UNITY would have used C4.
Timothy Whitcomb (hroar) says: nothing that cant be solved with teh adequate amount of C4
Timothy Whitcomb (hroar) says:

But I LOVE the simple solution of the cartoon!

Does Tip get to be Alpha now? Lead the op now...again?

That Guy (jsw) says:

You'd think at least one of them would be able to open a door. I had a dog that was able to figure out how to do it <i>without</i> genetic modifications.

And he was a much smaller dog than these guys, so that even reaching the doorknob a challenge, but he managed to do it anyway.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Had a cat that could open doors by wrapping his front feet around the doorknob, hanging from it and wriggling. Cats learn by watching other cats and one of the kittens figured out the reaching up on the door and wriggling her ass part but it didn't work as well for her. Just made her humans laugh and fall down on the floor. :)
Hunter Thomas (archangelq) says:

I get the feeling that Sweetheart feels like she's presenting someone she has *trained* when she explains about Tip's other talents.

Other talents in the kitchen! Minds out of the gutter.


In the kitchen with food! Jeeze!


In the kitchen prepairing food to eat! Fer frigs sake!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ooooooh....
The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

Behold the riant anthropoid,

And 'ware his crooked thumb....


The Auld Grump 

Terry Smith (wcfan) says: Anyone here remember a show called Eerie, Indiana?

The killer Poodle running the dog pack on that show (some years before Pratchett's KPRtDP)  said 'Once we discover the secret of the door knob, we will kill you all!'
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Pinball Wizard", Elton John)

I gathered all my pack here
Within this empty mine!
I thought I was the alpha!
Thought I was doing fine!
I didn't count on this human;
I think he wants my job!
That boss bishy bleeder
Sure turns a mean doorknob!

Yeah, he's a doorknob wizard, he grips it in his fist!
A doorknob wizard, a counter-clockwise twist!

Well, he grips that metal ellipsoid,
And turns with all his might!
Sometimes to the left, now,
And sometimes to the right!
He makes it look so easy,
It makes me wanna sob ...
That boss bishy bleeder
Sure turns a mean doorknob!

Yeah, he's a doorknob wizard, like nothing else before!
He's such a wizard, let's call him Dumble-Door!

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: Ah! Ah! My ears! My eyes! Augh!
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

You'd think at least one of them would be able to open a door.

Some doorknobs, especialy in commercial and industrial applications, have very strong eprings, requiring a strong grip to open them. With a round knob you need a good grip to turn the knob. Add to that the door is probably spring loaded.

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

Ah, the doorknob principle…subject of one of my favorite Far Side cartoons.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Beautiful setup here. We've got the 'evil werewolf horde,' as well as the conniving perhaps untrustworthy ally. Sparkle, we've got our eyes on you!
When you're on-panel, anyway.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Define "adaquate" mount of C4.

And really, you'd think Captain Brams would have installed a doggie door.

Next week: Ohboy, Ohboy,'s bacon!

Hope Eternal Reigns (hopeeternalreigns) says:

Hurray for opposable thumbs!

 Umm, how were the dogs able to use the serum?

 In UNITY's case 'adequate' would probably be about twenty kilos of C4 for a standard hollow core door, just to be sure, of course, that the door STAYED open.

Rob (rrreed) says: Uh, Ed, "Pinball Wizard" was written by Pete Townshend of The Who. Elton John just sang it in a theatrical adaptation of Tommy.

Four Deer (fourdeerinmyyard) says: ROFLMAO, Ed.
Nate Cull (natecull) says: Brilliant.
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile