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Smithson Thus Far... ·

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132 comments:
Harris Bias (polychrome) says: Tip, that ain't gonna work unless you've picked up some silver bullets in the past hour or so.
Frank (pokefan_frank) says: So, what technologically-sophisticated-canadian-talking-dog-lock are they going to use to keep him in? Doorknob?
Constantin Stoltz (kiwaiti) says: Hmm, looks like a witch test - if it kills him, he wasn't a werewolf.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ah, dramatics.
Camille Dumas (camidumas) says: Indeed - can you turn into a werewolf if yr already a llama, Tip?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Closing Time", Matchbox 20)

Say good-bye!  I might be a werewolf soon,
Dear Sweetheart and Unity ...
Say good-bye!  I'll be howling at the moon
And lifting my leg to pee!
Say good-bye!  Time for me to go and leave
The world that I knew behind!
Say good-bye!  Alice here will help me keep
An open mind ...

I don't wanna have to shave my back!
Kinda hard when thumbs are what I lack!
I don't feel like Alpo for a snack!
This is wack!

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Constantin: I thought a witch test involved seeing if you could drown a werewolf, then change it at the last minute to say if Tip weights the same as a wolf, he's a werewolf.

Camille: Tip's not spitting yet, is he?

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Hopefully, they're not going to handcuff him to a bed again.
K C (spotweld) says:

At this point I start to wonder how "reset back to the beginning" Shaenon and Jeffery will be making this strip.

 Is it possible that Tip will be becoming the new pack alpha w/ Unity, Sweetheart and Nic to return to base looking for a new team leader?

Mao Lemos (pylgrim) says: @pokefan: They may even go all out and put a restroom knob-lock on it!
Lavanya Six (lavanya_six) says: Oh no, Tip's gonna pull a Hedda Gabler!
Dov Mittelman (silentspeaker) says: I didn't even know he was behind a Gabler.
Rob (rrreed) says:

"At the half:
Stooge Hand still out in front,
Gabler is second by a Hedda,
A Doll's House is third with plenty of room,
Assault is passing Battery,
Assault and Battery,
Notary Sojac is sixth,
And in last place by 10 lengths,
I believe it is, yes it is ...
Beetlebomb."
Dominic Corbin (lnick) says:

Nitpick:  "Closing Time" is by Semisonic, not Matchbox 20.

I don't have anything else useful to say.  Sigh.

Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says: It takes one to know one!
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Tip: Dissing the mindless, ravenous killing machine... bad idea.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: .......
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

I once tried to see how I looked after I shaved my arm and leg hair. I didn't look any better.

Now my brother could look better if he shaved his arm, hand and leg hair because he basically he has monkey hands, arms and legs.

Oh, and Tip, just wait until you discover back hair.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Andrew K:  I resemble that remark.  Literally

(TUNE: "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", Elton John & Tim Rice)

I just shaved my arms tonight!
Soon I'll be hirsute!
It's too much!  All those furry fetishists
Think I look so cute!
I will raise alarms tonight!
Might attack my friends!
Out of touch!  I'll be mindless, ravenous,
And I'll have split ends!

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Tip didn't strike me as an arn-shaving kind of guy.

More like hot wax. With two sexy salon girls.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: You don't understand!  How is he supposed to pick out something to wear when he doesn't know what color his fur wil be??  Suppose he gets a plaid doggie-hoodie and then comes out all brindle-colored?  A disaster!  "Dog Fancy" will never return his calls!
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Dog Fancy, no. Play-Dog, maybe. Werewolves Gone Wild, definitely.
Rob (rrreed) says: I realize I'm jumping the gun here, and may very well be jumping to conclusions, but this started jumping around in my head and refused to jump out again on its own.

(TUNE: "Saturday Night", by Bill Martin and Phil Coulter)

{Intro}
S-I D-E-E F-F-E C-Ts!
S-I D-E-E F-F-E C-Ts!
S-I D-E-E F-F-E C-Ts!
S-I D-E-E F-F-E C-Ts!

Gonna keep on howling at the rising moon
Due to Side Effects, Side Effects
Shaven arms just won't last past noon
Due to Side Effects, Side Effects
I-I-I-I just can't wait
I-I-I-I got a date

{Refrain}
At the Alaskan dog races, I gotta go
Side Effects, Side Effects
Gonna tear it up, maul it up, do it all, eat them all
Side Effects, Side Effects
S-S-S-Side Effects
S-S-S-Side Effects
S-S-S-Side Effects

{Intro}

Gonna dance with the sheriff till the day is through
Due to Side Effects, Side Effects
Tell her all the little things I'm gonna do
Due to Side Effects, Side Effects
I-I-I-I love her so
I-I-I, I'm gonna bite her nose

{Refrain, Intro}
Drew (pseudowolf) says: I wish to make a filk titled "Did I Shave My Arms For This?" but lack the skill to do so. Alas.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Ah the old, "no matter what I say never let me out, now let me out" bit.  A classic!
Timothy Whitcomb (hroar) says:

Right from "Young Frankenstein"!

However, no bathroom could be REALLLY serious! 8-)

I love this stuff! Thank you guys for creating this!

Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says: Bloocher
Rob (rrreed) says: <WHINNY>

And that's Frankenstien (sic).
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Blücher, innit?
(whinny)
...What's wrong with that horse?

James Rice (jhrice) says:

"I'll kick your rotten heads in!   MOMMY!!"

Long White Cloud (aotearoa) says:

Rob: No it ain't. So say we all: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankenstein

Then I figured maybe it was Hollywood who got it wrong. Nope, just you: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072431

EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says: That's Fronkensteen!
Scott Lawrence (risky) says:

Hitch it up and pee in the corner, Tip. You'll know which corner by the smell of stale dog urine. 

 @Cloud: Epic fail... Frankenstein isn't Young Frankenstein, and Rob was quoting a line using the alternate spelling to indicate the alternate pronunciation used in the line. So say we all? So says you.

shui lung (draconautus) says:

So why isn't it Froderic?

For my money one of the greatest films of all time. Oh Marty, we hardly knew ye . . .

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: *snicker*
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

And of course, the only possible choice for a song spoof (if you like, you can image the last line of each verse half-growled, like Scooby-Doo) ...

(TUNE: "Puttin' On The Ritz", by Irving Berlin)

If I'm bit
The change will start,
Throw a huge fit,
Although my art-
Eries may clog ...
Puttin' on the dog!

Now this scene
A dance will feature,
Like Fronk-en-steen
And his Creature;
Crowd's agog!
Puttin' on the dog!

Put my Sunday fur on like "Hello Dolly"!
If arrested, I'll be a felon collie!
Melancholy!

So then, see!
It's time to turn!
Nick writes entry
In his LiveJour-
Nal online blog!
Puttin' on the dog!

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: What, no rolling in ze hay? Sweet mysteries of life at last I found you!
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Yay! No good showtune should go unpunished, so:

 

(TUNE: "Hello Dolly", Louis Armstrong)

I said hello, doggy
Well hello, doggy
It's so nice to have you look like you belong
You're looking swell, doggy
I can tell, doggy
You're still glowin'
You're still crowin'
You're still goin' strong


While that door's rockin'
We won't come knockin'
Until the change is permanent my friend
Then take his wrap, girls
Find him an empty lap, girls
Doggy'll never go away again

 

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: "Of course there's a bathroom. We put down newspapers over there in the corner."
Drew (pseudowolf) says:

Weretip?

There Tip.

John Johnston (ambivalence) says:

Without a dream in his heart; without the use of a throne...

EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says: And the question on everyone's mind is, does Tip have an ENORMOUS schvanstucker? :)
Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@EvilMid nightLurker: Let me answer that with another Mel Brooks movie.

"It's twoo!  It's twoo!"

<insert Bart's edited-out reply, if you want>

EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says: Lady, you're sucking on my elbow!
Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says:

@EvilMid nightLurker

That goes without saying.
He's going to be very popular.
Woof!

Paul Gadzikowski (pgadzikowski) says: SEDAGIVE?
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

"Sedagive" is the funniest single word in film.
David Vander Deen (dvddeen) says: I think I am starting to see Captain Bram's master plan.  He lures people in with cute puppies and gentle sounding names all the while the bacon smell sends the dogs into a feeding frenzy!
Ray Phoenix (graypheonix) says:

Hmmm, someone agrees with me, people are nothing more than apes that smell like bacon. 

 Heh, we just don't taste all that good.  

Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says: You got it Ray! :Muffin doesn't want people with good taste, Muffin wants people who taste good." Tip may yet survive.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: *sigh*
Mad Andy (andrew_c) says: New Bakon® brand bacon strips from Soylent®. It's not bacon, it's people, but your dog won't care!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I Want Candy", The Strangeloves)

My first mission's not going well!
I got infected, bloody hell!
Sweetheart's there, don't wanna bite her!
I'll sit here ... oh s**t a spider!

Now I'm shakin'!
Smell like bacon!

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Ohboy, ohboy, ohboy...It's bacon!

Now: regular, maple or canadian (bacon)?

shui lung (draconautus) says: Hell, if people really smelled (and tasted) like bacon, I'd be tempted to take up cannabalism myself.    Mmmmmmm . . . bacon . . .
shui lung (draconautus) says: Andrew: who cares? it's BACON!
Long White Cloud (aotearoa) says:

@Scott: Hello, alpha. I'm terribly sorry for not winning the "most obscure quote" prize; you can have it. Also, on invoking epic pwn/fail, it is customary to support it with some sort of objective reference (like, you know, a link). Believe it or not, I don't only watch BSG, but I can't remember that particular movie, and I still can't find any reference for such a spelling; with references to "Young Frankenstein" and Blücher only a few lines away I assumed they are related to the quote in question. That being said, I'm sorry if I mistakenly jumped Rob for a pun on a pronunciation. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to some applied studies on the beer atom in a parallel universe. It beats looking for the perfect nasum anyway. Have a lovely day!

PS. Huh? Spiders, you say? That door would very likely be missing a human-shaped chunk by now if it would be me in there... :(

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Shui Long: True, but there is a difference. Mostly cut.
K C (spotweld) says:

Sorry, this just popped up in my head and the only way I can get rid of it is to share. Here, have an earworm.  

Oh he's just a Sweet Transvestite from Lycanthropic Alaska....   yeah..."

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Thank heavens he doesn't smell like cheese curds, or it would all be over by now.
Andrew Barton (andrewandkatebarton) says:

Should we link to this page here?

http://whatever.scalzi.com/about/the-canonical-bacon-page/

Robin Sandlin (desdinovab) says: I wouldn't be worried about spiders. I 'd be worried that (by my count) there's only one opposable thumb out there to work the door handle. And it's not that firmly attached!
Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says:

@Long White Cloud

 The line was from Young Frankenstein.  Frederick Frankenstein prononces his name differently to seperate himself from his crazy relative Victor Frankenstein. 

 Rob was trying to spell it the way Frederick says it in the line.  

 See: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072431/quotes for some samples including the interchange between Igor and Frederick, which was also quoted, though here they spell it Fronkensteen to again attempt to imitate what Gene Wilder's character actually says.

 Much of the comments yesterday were quotes from Young Frankenstein, because the scene from yesterday's entry was evocative of a scene in Young Frankenstein.

Rob (rrreed) says: @Long White Cloud—"Wait. Where are you going? I was going to make Espresso."

Kristine has the right of it. I thought by italicizing the last syllable and putting "(sic)" after it everyone would understand that I was deliberately misspelling Victor's surname. Resorting to phonetic spelling just sort of ruins the effect of the joke when it's written down, IMHO.
Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

@Andrew & Shui: More precisely, the difference is in where it's cut from. "Ordinary" bacon (known as "streaky bacon" in the UK, for obvious reasons) is cut from the belly, from what would be the abdominal muscles on a human. What you 'Murricans call "Canadian bacon" is correctly called back bacon and is cut from the loin, the big muscle that runs all the way down your back, on either side of the spine. And that's probably more than you wanted to know about meat and human anatomy.

"I thought you made a 'yummy' sound!"

"I didn't make a 'yummy' sound..." 

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

According to wikipedia, it's also known as Irish Bacon. Still whether it's Canadian or Irish, Back Bacon is the best thing to put on a pizza. Without pineapples, of course.

(Ducks for the inevitable food fight in the commissary.)

 

shui lung (draconautus) says:

Call it what you will, cut how you wish, at the end of the day it's all delicious, delicious BACON! Bacon bacon bacon!

 

What can I say, I love bacon . . .

Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: Oh man, I completely forgot about that. This is really going badly for the team, huh?
David Vander Deen (dvddeen) says: I had been wondering when they were going to deal with that.
Honora O\'Toole (jinjur) says: Oh snap! Daytime= Sweetheart, human version?
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: I think we've established it just kills them....
Ray Phoenix (graypheonix) says: unless sweetheart is a mutant that can handle the virus or some such plot element...
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Even if you regenerate, being impaled on a wolf has got to be inconvenient.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ho-ly...
Long White Cloud (aotearoa) says:

@Alix Tierney: "Oh man, I completely forgot about that." - C'mon, why did you have to say that... :( I've just lost the game...

@Kristine Roland: Thank you for clearing that up...

*scoots off to snatch some bacon-flavoured chips*

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

I've been gone a few days and ...Wow!!  Beetlebomb!!!!

I used to listen to that on a record at my Grandmother's back in the 60's.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Anything Goes", Cole Porter)

Poor Sweetheart's only now recalling
A prospect that's quite apalling!
'Cause she got those ...
Bites on her nose!

Nick watched his DVD of "Airwolf"
While Sweetheart went hunting werewolf
And almost froze!
Bit on the nose!

Feel her plight tonight!
From that bite tonight,
Then she might, tonight,
Be a fright tonight!
She might kill tonight!
Her last will she'll write!
(Man, this mission really blows...)

At other's mi-se-ry we shouldn't laugh,
Mentally now her epitaph
She'll compose:
"Bit On The Nose"!

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: And irony of irony: the current ad displaying above the comic is for bacon salt.
Cara d(^o^)b (carakaze) says: I wonder if the virus was initially intended to give the dogs the power to turn into humans? ^_^
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Fantasizing about the team going home, and the next day Gavotte's a bunch of little were-bees...
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Andrew: That's not irony; that's just good marketing. Even better if it were for those bacon chocolate bars.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Wait, there's bacon chocolate bars?

*Miyaa promptly has a heart attack.

shui lung (draconautus) says: Bacon chocolate bars????  I must know more!
shui lung (draconautus) says: Oh my God, there it is, the advert for bacon salt . . . I have GOT to get some . . . And I still want to know where you get bacon chocolate bars.
Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says: http://www.vosgeschocolate.com/product/bacon_exotic_candy_bar/candy_bars_chocolate_chips
Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

@Martin: I'll see your bacon chocolate bar and see you a Maple-Bacon Lollypop: http://www.lollyphile.com/collections/frontpage/products/maple-bacon

(And could someone please explain to me how I turn that URL into a live link, like Andrew Barton did yesterday? Thanks much.) 

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Ok, I have to say it.  Sparkle is a bitch.  And yes, I know it doesn't really work.  It's still true.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Sweetheart's reaction (in the last panel) is practically identical to mine.
Terry Volkirch (terry) says: I haven't commented for months but I wanted you to know that I'm still devouring every panel of your delicious web comic. I'm also still waiting for Dr. Lee to come back. Ginny! Come back! And be sure not to step in any were-doo!
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Wait, what?
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

 (TUNE: "Snoopy's Christmas" by the Royal Guardsmen)

The news had come out that the readers were bored
'Cause Baron Exposition was flying once more
So Shaenon and Jeffrey throw their notes to the wind
And wrote in a bloody great dogfight again

'Twas the night before Wolfmas and 40 below
When Sparkle went out in search of her foe
She spied the ol' Baron and fiercely they fought
When he pulled out a whiteboard she knew she was caught

Backstory, meh schmackstory!
Time to bite some throats!
Random violence solves everything!
Let's advance the plot!

The Baron had Sparkle dead in his sights
He pulled up his Powerpoint on zombie dog rights
Why he didn't show it, well we'll never know
Or was it the GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR GI JOE?

Michael Bay oh Michael Bay!
Rules across the land!
Blowing up the whole darn world
And my attention span!

 

EXT: HUGE ASTEROID THE SIZE OF MARS! MADE OF MY LITTLE PONIES! AND PUPPIES! NINJA PUPPIES! ZOMBIE NINJA ROBOT PUPPIES! ALL MADE OUT OF PURE SUGAR! OMG! EEEEEEEEEEE!

THEN IT EXPLODES! FIFTEEN TIMES! FROM EVERY CONCEIVABLE ANGLE! TO A ROCKIN' SOUNDTRACK FROM A CURRENT ONE-HIT WONDER BAND! AND IT'S THE MOST AWESOME THING YOU COULD IMAGINE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Actually that movie sounds pretty awesome. I'd watch it.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Nowhere Man", The Beatles)

She's inoculated, man!
Fears were overrated, fans!
Someone there had made a plan
To save them all!

Got the cure, and she feels great!
(Though the serum's out of date ...)
As for Tip, we'll have to wait
Until nightfall.

Sweetheart had a shot, she's
Got the antibodies ...
Sweetheart, when
You take Sparkle down,
You'll be alpha then!

She's inoculated, gee!
As for Tip, we'll wait and see!
This suspense is great, 'cause we
Are Shaenon's geeks!
Is Tip well? Hope Sarge will tell
Sometime next week!

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Sparkles is the thoughtful one, isn't he?
The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

Hmmm, so the werewolves were part 1 of the doctors plans.... The dogs were only part 2. (Or vice versa.)

The Auld Grump,  

Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says: Part 3 = Profit?
Nate Cull (natecull) says: The ol' one-two werewolf-virus-then-adorable-puppy-eyed-genetically-enhanced-husky punch. Wham. Gets 'em everytime.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Actually I think it's 3: Show those fools at the Institute, 4: Remake the world in the image of pure absolute geometrical perfection, 5: Break for tea and poutine, 6: Profit (mildly, after contributing generously to a living wage for employees and a well-constructed social safety net)

 

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile