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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Clearly, Sweetheart has never seen "Cool Dogs."
EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says:

Won't this just end with Fairbanks eaten?

No, wait.  Alaska.  Guns.  It's fun to live in a country so big it has massively divergent cultures. :)


Mark Orr (agentoracle) says: 5 points for Unity's Tarman Reference.  She's rapidly turning into the best zombie ever.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Oh, and last week I added an entry for Nick to the cast page.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Last Train To Clarksville", The Monkees)

Take the vaccine to Fairbanks!
We've got "Balto" to inspire us!
And then once we get it there, thanks
To our team, the werewolf virus
Won't infect ...
We must protect,
We must protect!
(And we'll need someone with thumbs who can inject...)

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

@ Shaenon; and you included Dr. Lee in Nick's "official portrait" there.  Just as if she was a member of the cast.

You poor, poor, deluded booger.

M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

This entire thing has been building up to a recreation of the 1925 serum run. They even broke the plane. *sighs*

On the up side for those involved, there's no blizzard, it looks like it's probably still warm enough that none of the dogs will freeze to death, and Unity can always find a replacement for anything that gets frostbite. On the down side, it's not a relay, so they'll have to do the entire thing themselves.

Of course, this being a mad scientist's evil lair, they'll probably find a rocket sled lying around somewhere and have the dogs piloting it. 

Drew (pseudowolf) says: @crazydreamer: Annnnd now I have a mental image of Sweetheart dressed up like Snoopy's WWII flying ace character.
Rob (rrreed) says:

"Curse you, Red Baron!"

And the addition of Nick to the cast page has led me to deduce the author of the character bibliographies—Gold Bug!
Martin Weld (ikari_gendo) says: Why has no one mentioned the "Return on the Living Dead" reference?
Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says: @Martin: Umm... 'Cause you're the first one who noticed it? :blush:
Erin Palette (palette) says: D'awww! Nick wanna blankie!
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Blankie!
Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says: One blanket of snow, coming right up! Or is that down? Down is warm, that'll be good.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Fever", Aerosmith)

Well, you crash my ash, and you leave me alone, that's rude!
You can kiss my crank, I could really use a blanket, dude!
You're gonna leave me ... leave me ...
Leave me ... leave me ...!
I bust my belts, and I get no thanks!
You're loading up the sled, and you're off to Fairbanks!
I'm stuck here,
I could use a beer tonight!

Kenneth Graves (kag) says: The lettuce is going to taste really funky...
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

 (TUNE: "Riders on the Storm", Doors)

Buried in a hill
Buried in a hill
I've got some time to kill
Starting to feel the chill
They went and snapped my rotor
Can't even feel my motor
And I'm buried in a hill

The zombie's lost her arms
Her head is full of Lucky Charms
Take all her guns away
Let the puppies play
If you give this girl a ride
She'll crash your RAMMING hide
The zombie's lost her arms

Snow Dog gotta save the world
Snow Dog gotta save the world
She's got to pull the sled
Or Fairbanks will be dead
If she doesn't win the race
The virus eats their face
Snow Dog gotta save the world

Buried in a hill
They left me buried in a hill
I think I'm getting ill
Shoulda taken the blue pill
The Matrix this sure ain't
Need a new coat of paint
Buried in a hill



Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Are her arms really in the vegetable crisper, or is Unity just imitating Nick's swear filter?
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: I'd never think a cab is holy. Especially considering the taxi drivers who drive taxis.
Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: I'd never think a cab is holy. Especially considering the taxi drivers who drive taxis.

You mean they don't all have little shrines on the dashboard?

Anders Smith (mrsitouh) says:

Also, have you ever ridden in an Asian taxi? I've never prayed harder in my life to make it to my destination alive.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Of course her arms are in the vegetable crisper! Who wants stale, soggy arms?
Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: Buddy is adorably oblivious as usual. (OUR future? Couple that with the flashback, and am I getting the image I'm supposed to be getting?) Good on Unity that she's being so upfront about things though.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Ballad Of The Green Berets", Robin Moore and Staff Sgt. Barry Sadler)

Howling werewolves on our tail ...
On to Fairbanks without fail!
Grateful natives all agog ...
"Holy crap ... a talking dog!"

A dozen dogs
Hitched to this sled;
They all are brave,
They'll soon be dead!
They're Man's best friends
To the extreme!
From Canada,

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

 (TUNE: "Baby It's Cold Outside" by... um, everyone? Frank Loesser first, I think)

I really can't say - baby twelve dogs might die
That you shouldn't stay - baby twelve dogs might die
This visit has been - been far too long since I dropped in
So very, um - love all of you, it was lots of fun
The others in the pack have been talking - I can't get to Fairfield by walking
They're saying that you like humans more - I want to raid our vaccine store
Myself I think that they're just balking - the werewolves will be busily stalking
At greeting you with open paw - Where's Tip? I need help opening the door

Well they think you're a spy - it'll be a tight squeeze out there
That you've gone to the guys - yep those dogs'll just freeze out there
I wish I knew how - I'll make them run faster
To calm their fears - and they might all get mauled by bears
I ought to say oh hell no, Sweetheart - they'll drop like flies if they've got weak hearts
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - better all of us than one human died
So pack your bags - I'll bring back their dog tags

And baby twelve dogs - might - die!
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Buddy is going to mount Sweetheart after they're done talking over each other. It's start out as talking about the future, but they'll mate halfway through the discussion.

Or at the very least, they'll both sniff each other's butt one last time.

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: They'll always have Parrots.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: @Tiff: now it's inevitable, Jeffrey and Shaenon will come up with a "Casablanca" story arc somewhere down the road ...
Ray Dillinger (bear) says: There is still a major problem with this plan. Okay, say you get to Fairbanks. Say you manage to convince people that this "werewolf virus" is real. Say you manage to convince them further that this serum is real protection. Say you manage the logistics of an emergency rush vaccination program before the mushers get there. Those are some pretty big "ifs" but given all that, you still have the problem of human stupidity. In a city the size of Fairbanks, you'll have a thousand mentally defective furries, otherkin, larpers, and assorted nutballs who want to be werewolves. And if you make it with eight hours to spare, the airport is going to bring in thousands more from all over Canada and the US. There'll be plenty of standby seats available for them because sane folks who hear about this on the news will cancel their travel plans to Fairbanks.
Rob (rrreed) says: The dog race is too obvious: it's clearly a diversion to let an infected bush pilot or two make a clean getaway to Anchorage. Heck, the whole plan to distribute the vaccine is flawed because they have no plan for containing the original outbreak other than hoping everyone in the town starves to death before one of the townsfolk reaches another community to infect!
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Wait, folksy, laid-back charm?     .....Ok, is Buddy smart or not? I just can't tell anymore.
James Rice (jhrice) says: I think there's a bigger problem looming.  The sudden appearance of a pack of talking dogs urging people to immediately inject themselves with an unknown substance, or risk becoming a werewolf is not going to get the serious consideration they might hope for.
Rob (rrreed) says: @Michael—As usual, I believe the answer to that question is, "Yes".
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

I can't help it ... every time Sweetheart talks about vaccinating Fairbanks, I want to ask her, "But what about poor Cecania?"  (To which Sweetheart replies, "Silly humans, dogs don't have to worry about Sore Thumbs.") 

(TUNE: "Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road", Elton John & Bernie Taupin)

So hello, Fairbanks, hello!
Gotta act fast, before it's too late!
A rapid mass vaccination
Avoids an unpleasant fate!

Watch for the werewolves out there in the wood,
Coming on through the night ...
I'm afraid your guns won't do any good;
We'll kill 'em all with Coors Li-i-ight!

K C (spotweld) says:

... I wonder how many people would be lining up voluntarily for exposure to the werewolf virus if it were properly publicized.


Alaska has been long overdue for a furrycon..

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Just curious, how big of a city is Fairbanks?

(I've been to Anchorage. It's like they took Fargo, North Dakota and added mountains and an ocean shoreline. Fairbanks is probably a mountain version of Omaha.)

Lee-Anne Phillips (lioness) says:

The vaccine won't work anyway. This is Alaska, home of conspiracy theorists and rugged individualists.

Large parts of the populatation will refuse vaccination because of: A: mercury poisoning; B: autism; C: paranoia; D: You're *giving* this away? That's Communism!

Jessie Tracer (electrickeet) says: A thousand mentally defective furries, otherkin, larpers, and assorted nutballs who want to be werewolves? What, as opposed to ten thousand who aren't mentally defective? Fairbanks only has 34,000 people or so to start with....
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Buddy's one of Jeffrey's characters, but I'd say being smart enough to exploit your own folksy Northern charm, and also to give orders, is not necessarily all that smart. I am now bending over backward to politely avoid any reference to Alaskan politics.
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: We only do that because women do not let us pee in the cave anymore. (See Dave Barry's Complere Guide to Guys)
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

 (TUNE:"Animals", Talking Heads)


I'm mad and that's a fact
I found out humans don't help
Humans think they're pretty smart
Pee in water, sleep in the dark

Humans think they understand
Most of them are a big mistake
Humans want to change my life
They build parking lots

They're never there when you need them
They're never there when you call them
They live on bagels and bacon
They have heart attacks

They invent a thing called money
They aren't even hairy
They live on bagels  'n bacon
They're making a fool of us

They're setting a bad example
They oughtta be more careful
They turn into werewolves
They live on bagels 'n bacon

They oughtta be more careful
They turn into werewolves
They live on bagels 'n bacon
They have heart attacks...



Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Smoke On The Water", Deep Purple)

We're living in Alaska;
Now here comes a Yukon Quest sled!
If those mushers get infected,
I'll tell 'em "Go ahead!"
We say, humans should get eaten!
They all laughed at Captain Bram!
If you are what you eat, then
Cap was kind of a ham ...

Pee in the water!  Take the smell away!
Pee in the water ...

chic geek (onechicgeek) says:

Hmm...humans are good for a laugh, but just animals? So what, pray tell, was Captain Bram, their creator? I like the inconsistancy. And come on, Buddy-Cheese Curds! Sausages! If creating stuff like that doesn't make you a higher being, I don't know what does.

Prediction-Sweetheart fights Buddy for pack alpha, and wins. Only to have to fight Sparkle-or have Sparkle undermine her without a fight. Notice Buddy didn't deny Sweethearts accusation....

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:
  1. Someone please tell Sweetheart the power of the almight toilet.
  2. Mmm...back bacon. If you're going to die, death by back bacon wouldn't be a bad way to go.
  3. That being said, it's bacon! 
shui lung (draconautus) says:

I'm sure Sweetheart and the rest of the pack are aware of the REAL power of the toilet . . . Drinking water that's always cool!

Cara d(^o^)b (carakaze) says:



Poor Sweetheart.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Well, men ARE dogs....
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: What reminded him? The conversation or the angle?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "As Time Goes By", Herman Hupfeld)

I can't forget (as if) ...
A sniff is just a sniff,
A taste is just a taste!
The scent-iments will be there still,
As time we waste ...

Have you forgotten, chump
The way we used to hump
With energy and haste?
A pail of water made us jump
As time we'd waste ...

Typhin Reynard (typhin) says: Joyce: He's probably been thinking it the whole time, but waiting for a convenient time to mention it.  No, wait, that's too subtle.  He's probably been wanting it the whole time, but has been too distracted to ask, until it was actually mentioned.
Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: Somehow, I'm still loving Buddy there.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Reminds me of a story I read this week about a lion who died after having wall-to-wall sex with three lioness over a 48 hour period. What a way to go.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "One More Kiss Dear", Vangelis)

One more sniff, dear
One more whine
Only this, dear
Is goodbye
For our love is so pure, so remarkable
I will treasure till I... meet Sparkles!

You weren't there, dear
And she was
Can you blame us?
We're just dogs
By the way she is really quite something
At the humping
So goodbye.

Terry Smith (wcfan) says: Whoa! Good call Andrew Kunz!
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile