Take the vaccine to Fairbanks! We've got "Balto" to inspire us! And then once we get it there, thanks To our team, the werewolf virus Won't infect ... We must protect, We must protect! (And we'll need someone with thumbs who can inject...)
This entire thing has been building up to a recreation of the 1925 serum run. They even broke the plane. *sighs*
On the up side for those involved, there's no blizzard, it looks like it's probably still warm enough that none of the dogs will freeze to death, and Unity can always find a replacement for anything that gets frostbite. On the down side, it's not a relay, so they'll have to do the entire thing themselves.
Of course, this being a mad scientist's evil lair, they'll probably find a rocket sled lying around somewhere and have the dogs piloting it.
Drew (pseudowolf) says:
@crazydreamer: Annnnd now I have a mental image of Sweetheart dressed up like Snoopy's WWII flying ace character.
Well, you crash my ash, and you leave me alone, that's rude! You can kiss my crank, I could really use a blanket, dude! You're gonna leave me ... leave me ... Leave me ... leave me ...! I bust my belts, and I get no thanks! You're loading up the sled, and you're off to Fairbanks! I'm stuck here, I could use a beer tonight!
Kenneth Graves (kag) says:
The lettuce is going to taste really funky...
Buried in a hill Buried in a hill I've got some time to kill Starting to feel the chill They went and snapped my rotor Can't even feel my motor And I'm buried in a hill
The zombie's lost her arms Her head is full of Lucky Charms Take all her guns away Let the puppies play If you give this girl a ride She'll crash your RAMMING hide The zombie's lost her arms
Snow Dog gotta save the world Snow Dog gotta save the world She's got to pull the sled Or Fairbanks will be dead If she doesn't win the race The virus eats their face Snow Dog gotta save the world
Buried in a hill They left me buried in a hill I think I'm getting ill Shoulda taken the blue pill The Matrix this sure ain't Need a new coat of paint Buried in a hill
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says:
Are her arms really in the vegetable crisper, or is Unity just imitating Nick's swear filter?
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:
I'd never think a cab is holy. Especially considering the taxi drivers who drive taxis.
Also, have you ever ridden in an Asian taxi? I've never prayed harder in my life to make it to my destination alive.
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:
Of course her arms are in the vegetable crisper! Who wants stale, soggy arms?
Alix Tierney (almaseti) says:
Buddy is adorably oblivious as usual. (OUR future? Couple that with the flashback, and am I getting the image I'm supposed to be getting?)
Good on Unity that she's being so upfront about things though.
(TUNE: "Baby It's Cold Outside" by... um, everyone? Frank Loesser first, I think)
I really can't say - baby twelve dogs might die That you shouldn't stay - baby twelve dogs might die This visit has been - been far too long since I dropped in So very, um - love all of you, it was lots of fun The others in the pack have been talking - I can't get to Fairfield by walking They're saying that you like humans more - I want to raid our vaccine store Myself I think that they're just balking - the werewolves will be busily stalking At greeting you with open paw - Where's Tip? I need help opening the door
Well they think you're a spy - it'll be a tight squeeze out there That you've gone to the guys - yep those dogs'll just freeze out there I wish I knew how - I'll make them run faster To calm their fears - and they might all get mauled by bears I ought to say oh hell no, Sweetheart - they'll drop like flies if they've got weak hearts At least I'm gonna say that I tried - better all of us than one human died So pack your bags - I'll bring back their dog tags
Buddy is going to mount Sweetheart after they're done talking over each other. It's start out as talking about the future, but they'll mate halfway through the discussion.
Or at the very least, they'll both sniff each other's butt one last time.
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:
They'll always have Parrots.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:
@Tiff: now it's inevitable, Jeffrey and Shaenon will come up with a "Casablanca" story arc somewhere down the road ...
Ray Dillinger (bear) says:
There is still a major problem with this plan. Okay, say you get to Fairbanks. Say you manage to convince people that this "werewolf virus" is real. Say you manage to convince them further that this serum is real protection. Say you manage the logistics of an emergency rush vaccination program before the mushers get there.
Those are some pretty big "ifs" but given all that, you still have the problem of human stupidity.
In a city the size of Fairbanks, you'll have a thousand mentally defective furries, otherkin, larpers, and assorted nutballs who want to be werewolves.
And if you make it with eight hours to spare, the airport is going to bring in thousands more from all over Canada and the US. There'll be plenty of standby seats available for them because sane folks who hear about this on the news will cancel their travel plans to Fairbanks.
Rob (rrreed) says:
The dog race is too obvious: it's clearly a diversion to let an infected bush pilot or two make a clean getaway to Anchorage. Heck, the whole plan to distribute the vaccine is flawed because they have no plan for containing the original outbreak other than hoping everyone in the town starves to death before one of the townsfolk reaches another community to infect!
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:
Wait, folksy, laid-back charm? .....Ok, is Buddy smart or not? I just can't tell anymore.
James Rice (jhrice) says:
I think there's a bigger problem looming. The sudden appearance of a pack of talking dogs urging people to immediately inject themselves with an unknown substance, or risk becoming a werewolf is not going to get the serious consideration they might hope for.
Rob (rrreed) says:
@Michael—As usual, I believe the answer to that question is, "Yes".
I can't help it ... every time Sweetheart talks about vaccinating Fairbanks, I want to ask her, "But what about poor Cecania?" (To which Sweetheart replies, "Silly humans, dogs don't have to worry about Sore Thumbs.")
(TUNE: "Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road", Elton John & Bernie Taupin)
So hello, Fairbanks, hello! Gotta act fast, before it's too late! A rapid mass vaccination Avoids an unpleasant fate!
Watch for the werewolves out there in the wood, Coming on through the night ... I'm afraid your guns won't do any good; We'll kill 'em all with Coors Li-i-ight!
(I've been to Anchorage. It's like they took Fargo, North Dakota and added mountains and an ocean shoreline. Fairbanks is probably a mountain version of Omaha.)
The vaccine won't work anyway. This is Alaska, home of conspiracy theorists and rugged individualists.
Large parts of the populatation will refuse vaccination because of: A: mercury poisoning; B: autism; C: paranoia; D: You're *giving* this away? That's Communism!
Jessie Tracer (electrickeet) says:
A thousand mentally defective furries, otherkin, larpers, and assorted nutballs who want to be werewolves? What, as opposed to ten thousand who aren't mentally defective? Fairbanks only has 34,000 people or so to start with....
Buddy's one of Jeffrey's characters, but I'd say being smart enough to exploit your own folksy Northern charm, and also to give orders, is not necessarily all that smart. I am now bending over backward to politely avoid any reference to Alaskan politics.
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:
We only do that because women do not let us pee in the cave anymore. (See Dave Barry's Complere Guide to Guys)
We're living in Alaska; Now here comes a Yukon Quest sled! If those mushers get infected, I'll tell 'em "Go ahead!" We say, humans should get eaten! They all laughed at Captain Bram! If you are what you eat, then Cap was kind of a ham ...
Pee in the water! Take the smell away! Pee in the water ...
Hmm...humans are good for a laugh, but just animals? So what, pray tell, was Captain Bram, their creator? I like the inconsistancy. And come on, Buddy-Cheese Curds! Sausages! If creating stuff like that doesn't make you a higher being, I don't know what does.
Prediction-Sweetheart fights Buddy for pack alpha, and wins. Only to have to fight Sparkle-or have Sparkle undermine her without a fight. Notice Buddy didn't deny Sweethearts accusation....
I can't forget (as if) ... A sniff is just a sniff, A taste is just a taste! The scent-iments will be there still, As time we waste ...
Have you forgotten, chump The way we used to hump With energy and haste? A pail of water made us jump As time we'd waste ...
Typhin Reynard (typhin) says:
Joyce: He's probably been thinking it the whole time, but waiting for a convenient time to mention it. No, wait, that's too subtle. He's probably been wanting it the whole time, but has been too distracted to ask, until it was actually mentioned.
Alix Tierney (almaseti) says:
Somehow, I'm still loving Buddy there.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:
Reminds me of a story I read this week about a lion who died after having wall-to-wall sex with three lioness over a 48 hour period. What a way to go.
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