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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Naomi H (starbright) says: I think Sparkle might overrule him on this one.
Maid Joy (maid_joy) says: Ladies who want to be in harnesses... Tip has hit the jackpot!
Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says: Tip has hit the jackpot indeed! he has! 8-)
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Hmmm.....I wonder how Tip is going to respond here.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Tip is going to respond gently, but firmly, that this expedition has to go on. Note a complete lack of fear signs from him.
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: Tip was an officer. Buddy is an NCO, as seen in the strip where Sparkle tells the pack what to do and Buddy tells them to do it. Buddy may think he gives the orders, but Tip knows that he outranks him.
Charles Lee (atomicsnarl) says: And of course, all the girls in harness want Tip in the lead, so they can keep a careful watch on him!  A good viewing angle, anyway...
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: Also as soon as the girls realize that Tip might get hurt here, they're going to change their smiles to the type with lots of teeth showing.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Young Girl", Gary Puckett & The Union Gap)

I thought that I was the alpha ...
I thought I knew my pack-mates well ...
Now all the females chase
This stupid mutt
And sniff his butt!
I'm gonna stamp my foot and yell!

Girl dogs!
Quit making that face!
This pseudo-wolf is taking my place!
What I say, girls!
Aw, please, obey girls!

Jon McCormick (youko) says:

Buddy had to tell Tip to make the girls "stop making those faces" because he'd never be able to. XD For some reason the first thing I thought of when I saw the girls were all looking forward to the harness was because then Tip wouldn't be able to get away from them. XD

Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says:

Buddy better be careful, he might just force the wolf in Tip to make his first kill....   hmmm... Tip has no problem killing when he has to, but he prefers not too of course, the wolf virus may just have met its match against Tip...

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Buddy has wilder mood swings than a teenage girl going through her first semicolon.
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Buddy's angry, / rhyming rants

Tip's new girls / don't wear no pants

Sweetheart has come / home at last

Unity? Just wants / to kick some snow.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: I think he's just jealous.
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Tip:  "Really. Like this was the first time I was ever tied to a dog sled."
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Ed, I had to write this filk just so I could use your first line for my third-to-last line.

 (TUNE: "Losing My Religion", REM)

Theeee pack is changing
It's changing and I
Can't control it.
The ladies want the harness.
And my mate wants your tail.
Oh no, so do some boys.
This will not do.

I've gotta confront you.
I've gotta prevent this.
Losing my position.
Got to go and fight with you
And I fear an open rebellion.
Oh no, I hope they don't.
I don't know what they'll do...

I thought that I was the Alpha
I thought that I made the rules
I think I thought it a~all wrong...

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says: @Adam:  nicely done!
M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says: @Pete Bleackley: No, no, no, you've got it all wrong; the NCO tells the officer what needs to get done, and the nominally-in-charge officer tells everyone to do it. The difference is that Buddy is a clueless Lieutenant, whereas Tip is an iron-fist-in-velvet-glove Captain.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: @Ed Thanks!
Kita Ross (lithium_delusions) says:

~dies laughing~

I know what they're seeing too!

Rob (rrreed) says: To paraphrase the National Lampoon,

"All right, Sweetheart—if you don't buy this argument, we'll kill these adorable puppies!"
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "People" from the musical "Funny Girl")
(Written by Robert Merrill & Jule Styne, performed by Barbara Streisand)

Puppies ...
Doggies who kill puppies
Are the rottenest doggies in the world!

Our babies ...
You'd sacrifice our babies
For the sake of some werewolf tail!
Your plan is full of fail!
De-ci-ma-ting our ranks
For Fairbanks ...

Are omnicidal creatures ...
They're the evilest creatures in the world!

For this critter,
You'd sacrifice our litter?
Part of our pack he is not ...
(Yes, I admit that he's hot)
But extinction still looms!
For humans, you're doomin' all our puppies!
If you kill our puppies ...
You're the rottenest doggie ...
In ... the ... world!

Nicky . (nicky_diva) says: @Ed, you are a brilliant human being. (I'm still chuckling occasionally over "Roll over bishonen!")    You even nail the internal rhymes.  Now I'll be singing "puppies" all day.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

As it is, I think the plan is flawed without also including a method of dealing with the werewolves.

Also, who expects Tip to win?

Rob (rrreed) says: Tip, because of The Rule of Funny and it'd be a perfect Create Your Own Enemy setup.
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: No way the girls will let Tip get killed. Sorry.
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: Hey wait a minute! How did she slam the door?
Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

Oh, no!  With that one slam of a door, Sweetheart has doomed the pack to defeat and starvation at the hands of their most dire and sinister enemy...


Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:


I want you to know that the comments here have awakened my long-dormant filking urge, and I'm sorely tempted to write 'Furry Lustful Sled-dogs' (to the tune of 'Shiny Happy People') right now. 


Tip's not having fun... furry, furry...

Sweetheart's on the run... meltdown, meltdown...

Pack order's come undone... fight now, fight now...  No, I need to sleep. 

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Yaaahooo!
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: You know, I wonder how the Pack will react if they find out what Tip's millitary rank was...
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Ten bucks says Tip somehow uses Alice to defeat Buddy. While Unity munches on some dog food. And Nick hacks into the Mad Scientist's wifi.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Are You Ready For Some Football", Hank Williams Jr.)

Well, it's gettin' late!
Let's cut to the chase!
The battle for the fate of the human race!
Sweetheart frets ...
"I can't look..."
The zombie takin' bets and makin' book!
We'll let this rumble
Decide who's right ...
The battle for humanity's survival tonight!

"So fight me!"
"Hey, Buddy, bite me!"
Okaaay, alrightyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ...

Are you ready for a dog fight!!
Ev'rybody say hey!
We got Michael Vick (that's sick!) doing play-by-play!
They'll growl 'n' grapple ... they'll bark 'n' bite!
Who's the top dog in the pack tonight?

Matt Buchwald (themysticalone) says: Rumbling's on Tuesdays, sweetie. Wednesday is pot luck night!
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: That's Unity.  When killing someone is Plan A, who needs a Plan B?
Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:

Oh dear. I think Buddy's about to have a short lesson in how badass Tip is when he needs to be.

 If his "superpower" works in wolf form, I doubt his fighting ability will be hindered...

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Did we do a Tip! filk using Shaft! as the basis already? Because I can hear it now. Either that or I'm going to need professional psychratic help.
Maricruz Villalobos-Zamora (maki_p) says:

Tip is falling to his primitive insticts.
Althoug, to be fair, politics would be a whole lot more interesting, and effective if desicions were made on basis of Death Duel. I do like the idea of electing a president by sending candidates into the woods and choosing whoever gets out there alive

Cara d(^o^)b (carakaze) says: Is Alice still in Tip's (nonexistent) garters? o_O
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Andrew:  Yes, first week of May.  When Sweetheart and Unity were cornered in the diner, and Tip (with the help of Alice) came in and cleaned house.

Not that you don't need psychiatric help anyway ...

Paul Gadzikowski (pgadzikowski) says: I hate to say it, but I can't tell who's speaking the punchline. Tip's mouth is closed, Unity's mouth is covered, and the tail of the word balloon is pointing to a spot between them.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: I think it's Unity who says, "That's Brilliant!" It seems like something she'd say to a fight-off between Buddy and Tip.
Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says: @Rachel: The pack still has a chance for survival. Unity has one opposible thumb left....
Naomi H (starbright) says:

I wonder which of them Unity is talking to. Maybe she's just shouting it out there for whoever cares to take her advice.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Better get a bucket!
Harris Bias (polychrome) says: She's got one.
Harris Bias (polychrome) says: Also, $5 on Tip.
Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says:

And the glasses come off!  Frankly, I'm amazed they managed to stay on as long as they did.

Sor Cyress (sorcyress) says:


 ((Eeeeeee, cutest fight ever!)) 

Rob (rrreed) says: Where the heck is Sparkle while this is going on? She was supposedly with Tip after she left Sweetheart (though Tip has yet to confirm this himself), but now she's just vanished.
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: The bucket is the punchline. :)
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Oooooops.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

{TUNE: "Satisfaction", The Rolling Stones)

Hell with impulse deconstruction!
Time for violent introduction!
There'll be blood ... in the mud;
It's from Bud!  Holy crud!
Time for fighting!
How exciting!
Dangly biting!
(That must hurt!)

Time to fight!
Hell with polite!
All right all right!
It's hockey night!

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

Mom used to throw water on fighting dogs to make them stop. I guess Unity has the bucket so no one can use it to stop the fight.

"Impulse Deconstruction" will be the name of my next pet.

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Oh man, I went to see Impulse Deconstruction this one time, back when they were still the warm-up band for Wolf Bucket. It was *awesome.*
Kevin Mann (eidolways) says: ... Actually, speaking of glasses, what happened to the stems on the side that hold them on the human ears?  The glasses are infected, too!  Wereglasses!
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: If we ever needed proof that Buddy's maybe not too swift... picking a fight with the regenerating lycanthrope has got to be pretty high on the list.
Drew (pseudowolf) says:

@jcampbel: I'd say picking a fight with any wolf would be less-than-intelligent on Buddy's part. I think that in a one-on-one fight a wolf would just be built better than a husky.

Also, the GLASSES are OFF!

Q. Pheevr (q-pheevr) says:

--You wouldn't bite a dog with glasses, would you, Buddy?

--No, I'd use my teeth.

Kita Ross (lithium_delusions) says: Go for the Dangly bits, Tip!
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

I think Buddy knows he will lose, it's his way of giving in and saving face. He's also aware that Tip is unlikely to kill him, so this is the only out he has. Bud is a bit of a scatterwit but he's not stupid.

Neither dogs nor wolves fight to the death in pack duels, ordinarily. They bluster and act fierce but essentially, it's political.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Sparkle is outside letting Buddy take the fall. :)
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: Who is she talking to?  And how does she make her voice do that?
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Who is she talking to? Us.
Davidson Corry (uncommonloon) says:
Joe Hoffman (joe6pack) says: Don't be sad, Sleepyjohn.  Some of us still remember Nick Danger, Third Eye.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Over The Rainbow", Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg)

Somewhere, up in Alaska,
Life is hard ...
Sweetheart sits on a hilltop,
Playing the drama card!

Somewhere, up in Alaska,
She will see,
When you're thinking aloud,
It's hard to get privacy!

Like Attenborough or Cousteau,
Her monologue will let us know
Her anguish ...
She runs from tough decisions, which
Is why command is such a bitch ...
(Hey, watch ... your ... lan-guage ...!)

Somewhere, up in Alaska,
Sparkle's mean!
Spoiling Sweetheart's attempt
At her big dramatic scene!

Just let me have one little scene
With pain and pathos ...
Then ... we'll ... have ...

Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says: @Ed For working "poutine" in there, you win the internets. Again.
Kevin Mann (eidolways) says: By the way, my compliments to the artist in managing to pick small physical traits that do noticeably differentiate the different dogs, even though they're all the same basic design!
Ray Phoenix (graypheonix) says: Yes, an example to all you galls out there, heh. 
Four Deer (fourdeerinmyyard) says:
Somewhere, over his keyboard,
Ed pens filk,
Seeking ever the right word,
Meter as smooth as silk.

Somewhere, over his keyboard,
A billion sound files
Must be lodged in his brain-ROM,
Stacked up in towering piles.

He always knows the melody
To make a witty parody.
Just look-y!
He presses “Say It Now” and then
He wins the internets again,!

Somewhere, over his keyboard,
Ed Gideon
Summarizes a story line
Better than anyone.

This heartfelt accolade is done.
I’ll check for typos--
And await more fun!
Drew (pseudowolf) says: I wonder if Tip and Sparkle did it like they do it on Discovery Channel or if she's just going along with Sweetheart's assumption to needle her.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: *snicker*
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Four Deer: Awww, that's so sweet.  Thank you.  Just one question ... why does everyone think I put Bibles in hotel rooms??  (*sigh*headdesk*)  Everyone does that ... 

Anyway, today's bit of fun stuff ...
(TUNE: "Superstition", Stevie Wonder)

Very indecisive!
I could not be brave!
Issue is divisive!
Who we gonna save?
Superdogs or people?
Who gets this vaccine?
If the odds are steep, I'll
Exit from this scene!

When I have to decide,
But instead run and hide,
Then I panic!
Indecision runs away!

llearch n'n'daCorna (llearch) says:


I do believe you just reversed the typo hunting. Grats. ;-]

Eric Burns (ericburns) says:


I... would own a Gedeon Bible.

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says: I wondered why hotel mattresses always smell of filk.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Well, it could be worse, Ed. You could be...

  1. A palm in Gedeon. (And carrying a Tuba.)
  2. What two over-adventuring brats and maybe hundreds of kids are chasing after. (See Wiki's 39 Clues.)
  3. A case sent up to the Supreme Court about taxes (pity there isn't a Schoolhouse Rock song about the Judicial System).
  4. A filk album written by Kenny Rogers.
  5. A Welsh king (aka Cadfan ap Iago.) 
  6. A medical tool for fight infectious diseases, like cooties or turning into werewolves. (Hey, you're on topic!)
  7. A third rate Marvel superhero.
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says:

Totally off-topic but utterly necessary comment:

SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Just got my signed copy of Volume I!  **does happydance like a deranged ferret**
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile