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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Eve Elliott (stroth) says: Erm... either I'm very confused, or the archive dropdown is correct and this was uploaded two and a half weeks early.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: You know, when I first read this, I heard "Unity, none of us /have/ canine warning senses" in the last panel instead of the obvious.
Rob (rrreed) says: Great. Tip's gonna have to try and pull rank on Willoughby, now.
John Wells (johnwwells) says:

Michael: Could be worse. I misread it until I saw your comment. And then I looked at your comment and thought, "Wait, ISN'T that the obvious?" and then I reread and said, "Oh."

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Irony from a zombie? Hoodathunkit?
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Uh-oh...
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE:  "If You're Happy And You Know It", traditional)

"If there's danger and you're canine, raise your hand!"
There's a word in there that we don't understand!
"That's a problem, see, because ..."
(Followed by an awkward paws ...)
We're so sorry we can't follow her command!

Zombie says, "If there's a problem, then it's yours!
Man, I'm dealing with a bunch of amateurs!
Dudes, if you don't understand it,
Then I'll fight 'em single-handed!"
Gee, it's gonna be an awful mess, for sures!


Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: What happened to UNITY's hat?
Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says: John and Michael> *L*  I read it that way too.  Obvious isn't always obvious I guess.   Though both seem to be feasible answers I suppose.
Rob (rrreed) says: @Benjamin—Maybe it outgrew her. ^L^
nemryn (nemryn) says: Benjamin: that doesn't bode well. As we all know, eny plan vhere you lose your hat iz a Bad Plan.
John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

I probably shouldn't be quite this amused about the fact that Willoughby's wearing his dog tags. 

Shouldn't Sweetheart know better than to make comments like that by now? Sheesh, next thing we know, she'll be saying, "What could possibly go wrong?" or "This couldn't get any worse."

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Zombie humor, urrr, urrr. Earthy, yet pungent, meaty but a few days past its best-by.
Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

Oh, this can't end well.

 It can only end awesomely.

Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: Deus Ex Unity? This should be fun.
The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

Actually... I think that I know where she is going with this.


The Auld Grump 

Punyashloka Biswal (puffofvirtue) says: "I trust you." Really, Sweetheart? Why not nuke the White House and crack open a few ampoules of virulent Ebola in a subway while you're at it?
Kita Ross (lithium_delusions) says:

Go Unity!

50 bucks on her adding new parts to her wardrobe and/or body.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Oh, this'll be good.
Rob (rrreed) says:

Tune: "Riboflavin-Flavored, Non-Carbonated, Polyunsaturated Blood"
by Don Hinson And The Rigamorticians

When the moon arises in the Alaskan sky,
And the werewolves are out on the sly,
At times they have trouble hunting dogs to bite,
That's why U.N.I.T.Y. concocted her new delight!
Her VitaRay-irradiated, yottacoulomb-activated, non-blood classified SPAM™.
(Chorus: Her VitaRay-irradiated, yottacoulomb-activated, non-blood classified SPAM™)

Willoughby came to her one night at twelve,
And said Paradise had no meat on the shelf,
She exclaimed, "Don't fret! I'll give you a fix
Of my newly regenerated mix!"
She gave him VitaRay-irradiated, yottacoulomb-activated, non-blood classified SPAM™.
(Chorus: She gave him VitaRay-irradiated, yottacoulomb-activated, non-blood classified SPAM™)

It gives you quick relief you see,
From fang aches and undercoat deficiency.
And after consuming her circulatory brew,
It'll make a new werewolf of you!
(Chorus: It's got reanimation added, viruses subtracted, non-blood classified SPAM™)

Willoughby enjoyed her brew without a hitch.
Now he's one of those who'd rather fight than switch!
If you're biting more dogs, enjoying it less,
Try her newly irradiated best!
Her VitaRay-irradiated, yottacoulomb-activated, non-blood classified SPAM™.
(Chrous: Her VitaRay-irradiated, yottacoulomb-activated, non-blood classified SPAM™)
Nate Cull (natecull) says: Rock!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "It Had To Be You", Isham Jones and Gus Kahn)

Let's talk about food ...
Let's talk about food ...
For first course, we'll serve
A gopher hors d'oeuvre,
Sauteed or stewed ...

Then for an entree,
We'll serve a fillet
Of fresh caribou
A la ragout,
Whaddaya say?

And then for dessert,
A vole from the dirt!
A nice brandy glaze,
Then set it ablaze!
No, that wouldn't hurt!

And when we've finally finished our feed,
Maybe an Alka-Seltzer we'll need!
Let's talk about food,
Tasted and chewed ...
Let's talk about food!


David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: Auld Grump:  Yeah, I'm remembering "her 'blood' ate the virus".
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: She'll give them paws for thought.
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

I think part of what makesUNITY so effective is that the werewolves find out that she doesn't taste good, dampening their enthusiasam to tear her apart.

 Either that or all we get back from her at the end of this is just her head.

I still think this is going to resolve itself with UNITY's blood being deployed to kill the virus. That or Nick gets a signal through and we get reenforcements.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: werewolf brains make their own gravy.
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says: Everybody who thinks Unity's got a cure in her veins raise your little hands...  \o
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: I haven't been this encouraged by one sentence since "My turn." in Serenity. The grin just makes it even better.
Myrddin ap Taliesin (myrddhin) says: Speaking of paws... whatever happened to Unity's paw? Did I miss something? It looks like she has two normal hands in this one. Can you even crack your knuckles if one hand's a paw?
Fandarel (fandarel) says: Last time she faced the werewolves, while everyone was at the caves, she lost her arms.  This may not go so well.
Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says: Myrddhin - it's still a paw.  Look how furry and stubby her left looks in panel one.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Maybe Unity saw the new Good Eats episode? (Anyone know if I can purchase the new season on iTunes?) I mean seriously, this is a WWAB? moment, if there ever was one.
Michael Farren (farren) says:

Unity's blood is a cure only like curing your headache by cutting off your head.  Not very effective.  Well, it's effective, but very, very limited.


Terry Smith (wcfan) says:

I think those WW will bite her, get her blood in their mouths, and be cured.

We're going to see a bunch of naked people sitting in the snow.

Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: I'm just going to fangirl Unity for a while. Don't mind me.
clark brooks (czark) says: I'm going to go out on a limb (of negotiable species) and guess that "food" will slipply slide from steak to more traditional zombie menus.
Rob (rrreed) says: Sounds like Unity's got a knotted intestine. She ought to have that looked at look at that.
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Well, you know what they say: The way to a murderous undead bioweapon's blood-substitute-circulating chest engine is through her stomach.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

So whatever did happen to that beatdown in thirty minutes last week?

Is this the free one?

Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

So Unity has puppy love issues.

Pity Nick can't get in on the love action.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Woo. Go Unity!
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

So whatever did happen to that beatdown in thirty minutes last week?

No, that one was already delivered. UNITY did so good she got a free hat.

It's good to see that UNITY is being honest about how she feels.

It also seems that UNITY is getting more and more effective at fighting werewolves.

James Kehl (shykta) says: @crosshair - re: UNITY getting better at fighting werewolves - I blame Ramon Jr. They do say you become like what you oppose, so if you graft bits of your enemy on, you should become extra good at opposing them, surely?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Knockin' on Heaven's Door", Bob Dylan)

Sweeheart, take off now with the sled ...
Go and save humanity!
It's time for undead versus undead ...
I feel like punchin' out Willoughby!

Punch, punch, punchin' out Willoughby ...
Punch, punch, punchin' out Willoughby ...

Werewolves, time to dish out some pain!
I don't want you carnally ...
Don't want your body -- just your braaaaaiiinss ...
I feel like punchin' out Willoughby!

Punch, punch, punchin' out Willoughby ...
Punch, punch, punchin' out Willoughby ...

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: And now we see just why they feed her kibble at home!
Fandarel (fandarel) says: Good point.  I'd forgotten that.  On the other hand, er, paw, they DID get both her arms off before she could do anything.  How much warning do they need?
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Well, you know how it is... fighting people isn't like fighting werewolves. You go in all ready to kick butt and take names, and instead of a bunch of tool-using bald monkeys that have hardly any natural weapons, you've got big toothy regenerating wolves all over you. Takes a minute to change mindsets, and by then they've got your arms off.
Dieter M. (tangerine) says: After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.
Michael Farren (farren) says: They got her arms off, and she still won.  I don't think Unity needs a whole lot of concern.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: ...And we're back.
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Oh, Tip, everyone's a monster here. And if you forget it, Sweetheart will rampage your coffee.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Eve Elliott's comment glued to the two-and-a-half-week early strip?
Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

A monster balancing glasses on his snout.  Clearly, he has to enter in the codes.

In other news, I just realized the cast page is from our mysterious "Goldbug's" POV when I read Nick's bio.  Also, I noticed Goldbug is of the type who would refer to the restroom as "the john."

Rob (rrreed) says: Forget the keypad—first, they have to untie at least one member of the team from the harness!
K C (spotweld) says: Can't Sweetheart just poke at the buttons with a stick in her mouth?
Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says: Fingers! Fingers! My kingdom for fingers! (to paraphrase)
Camille Dumas (camidumas) says:

I saw these cakes and immediately thought of Moustachio: 

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Ode to Billy Joe", Bobbie Gentry)

There was a wild werewolf pack on our trail; we might fail, we fear ...
Then Unity said "Go!  I will stay and protect your rear!"
If any werewolf fights her, they surely will come out a head ...
We got the vaccine to Fairbanks, just so this disease won't spread ...
But now there's no way for the sleigh to dispense its load ...
'Cause on a very tiny keypad we must type a fifteen-digit code!

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: They'd better hope Unity hasn't lost her other hand, or they're going to get some very odd looks canvassing Fairbanks for a volunteer code-enterer.
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

I'm hoping the code is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

And yes, it would be the dumbest combination ever. 

Mark Orr (agentoracle) says:

Can't they just use their superior human handling skills to make a local arm the weapon?  "Help! A mad scientist created us and made a bomb to make EVERYONE like us and it needs a 15-digit disarming code put into the tiny, tiny keypad on the back!"

One long chain of bleeps and bloops later...

"Is it supposed to be counting down?"


So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Tip, this is your job.
Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says: We must all be monsters on this bus! 8-)
Rob (rrreed) says: I told you someone had to get out of the harness first, but did anyone listen to me? NooooOOOOOOOOoooooo.
Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says: I love how matter-of-fact Tip comes across about this.  It's pretty much my favorite brand of humor.
Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

"Never send some dogs and a wolf to do a man's job."

Also, naked in Alaska, all other conditions nonwithstanding.  Tip is indeed tough.

Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: Considering the conditions, Tip will probably be turning back as soon as his thumbs are no longer needed.
ribbles (ribbles) says: I like that arming codes go "pip pip pip."
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: "Like I've never X before," looks like becoming Tip's catchphrase. Where X is something mildly disturbing.
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

...Which has inspired the following parody

(To the tune of Prince Charming by Adam and the Ants)

Like I've never, like I've never,
Been caught outside without a pair of pants on.
Like I've never, like I've never,
Been caught outside without a pair of pants on.

Tip Wilkin! Tip Wilkin!
Memories should not always be shared, man!
Tip Wilkin! Tip Wilkin!
Memories should not always be shared, man!

Like I've never, like I've never,
Had someone leave forgetting I was tied up.
Like I've never, like I've never,
Had someone leave forgetting I was tied up.

Tip Wilkin! Tip Wilkin!
Memories should not always be shared, man!
Tip Wilkin! Tip Wilkin!
Memories should not always be shared, man!

Silk or leather, or a feather,
There may be nothing that I can't get out of.
Silk or leather, or a feather,
There may be nothing that I can't get out of.

Tip Wilkin! Tip Wilkin!
Memories should not always be shared, man!
Tip Wilkin! Tip Wilkin!
Memories should not always be shared, man!

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head", Burt Bacharach and Hal David)

He's gotten out of straps before ...
And just like the time when we were stymied by a door,
Just a little twist ... so ...
Tip strips and slips the straps and taps with a "pip pip"!

Now he just entered a 15-digit code;
It's armed and the atomizer will dis-pense its load!
Gotta strap back in ... now!
Don't worry whether leather keeps us together!

'Cause he's got thumbs ...
Mister Happy is numb ...

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

What, never? No, never!

What, never?  Well, hardly ever!

And he's hardly ever without thumbs!

So give three cheers and one cheer more to the Skin Horse member who wears Dior!


Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: That is Tip's super-power isn't it? He packs underpants?
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says: Someone please get Tip a pair of True Religion jeans?
Rob (rrreed) says: This looks like a job for...

nemryn (nemryn) says:

"Torg, why do you have emergency pants?"

"Don't know. But every hypothetical I've come up with, I'm glad I have them."

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Methinks Tip has a quite exciting time exercising his superpower.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Can someone actually BE a transvestite if they're naked?
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Tip is an oxymoron? :) 

Mark H- (eyeharvester) says: Yeah, that's some pretty Zen shit right there.
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

Why is Sweetheart so upset about Tip being naked? She doesn't wear any clothes. Why the double standard between species?

Of course the suspence of waiting for Monday is going to be killing me.

I really am hoping that Tip retains his shapeshifting abilities after this story is over. It would open up quite a few possibilities in the future.

Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says: Well, Tip is standing right there. Wouldnt the antivirus have an effect on him? Or at least soon?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?", Frank Churchill)

Our mission's a success!
Our mission is assured!
Expect no thanks
Because Fairbanks
Won't even know they're cured!

Aren't we the embodiment of paranoia from the right?
Weird-ass vaccine just was sent off by a naked transvestite!
(Can you feel the love tonight?)

Secret quantum-projected drug!
Selected drug!
Perfected drug!
Secret quantum-projected drug
Cures the werewolf bug!

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Ed is some sort of oxymoron, too, I'm just not sure what kind. :)
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: I think Sweetheart's point is that, as a naked transvestite, Tip is FAR more the embodiment of such paranoia than a cute talking dog is.
Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says:

A Transvestite is always a Transvestite, no matter whether they are cross-dressed or not.  So yeah, Tip is still a Transvestite  or even when naked.

Tip already was treated with the vaccine, it didn't work on him because he was already infected.  So most likely won't work still.  Unless you just need a second dose...

Rob (rrreed) says:

::Unfurls an Arthur Murray diagram::

::Stares at it intensely for a moment::


"It's just a jump to the left…"
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: Sound effect, sound effect! LOL.
EvilMid nightLurker (emlurker) says: Tip's *glasses* are presumably ladies' models, so he is not quite naked and still a transvestite. :)
Jon McCormick (youko) says: I'm with Benjamin, I also hope he stays "cursed". It is a "vaccine" after all, not a "cure"...
Andrew Kunz (miyaa) says:

Just one uh, two questions:


  1. Which part of oxymoron is Ed?
  2. Who is Arthur Murray?
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Well, pretty close, anyway. Now if Tip was a Jew or a Mason, then they'd really be in business.
John Ross (jon_a_ross) says:

I have to give full marks for the punchline here, it started a laughing fit that almost woke up the rest of the house.

Well done.

Bill Livingston (billfl) says:


1) Ed is the silent, invisible "E-D" in Oxymoron

2) Arthur Murray ran a chain of dance schools back in the 50s and 60s.  They may still be open today for all I know.

Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says: To add to the Arthur Murray answer, he also run a mail order business in which you learned a dance through diagrams showing where your feet went.  And don't feel bad, I had to look it up to get the referance.
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: HA!
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

It is a "vaccine" after all, not a "cure"

Yup, the difference is very important.

Tip seems to be doing much better than the others who were infected with the virus. Perhaps the vacine was partialy effective on him and gives him more control over it.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Yay!
David Given (dg) says:

I presume a mad scientist quantum vaccine uses superposition and targeted decoherence to randomly generate the right vaccine every time?

Although putting a werewolf into a Schrödinger's Box is probably best left as an exercise for the reader.

Why, yes, I have just read some Greg Egan.

John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Sweetheart really hasn't got room to talk. She's Canadian, and therefore some kind of decent-health-care-havin' socialist.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

@dg: I would imagine the awkward bit would be taking the werewolf out afterwards. You could always lure them in with yummy treats / villagers.

But there's a 50% chance that when you open that box you will be facing just a pissed off werewolf - the other 50% of the time it will be an EXTREMELY pissed off werewolf with cynaide on their breath.

This is why mad cryptozoophysicists use grad students.

Rob (rrreed) says: And for those who still don't get the Arthur Murray reference…
James Kehl (shykta) says: @David Given: you have to love any quantum algorithm whose key step is "destroy all universes in which the desired result is not achieved." Quantum Bogosort seems like a very Helen's Mom type of algorithm...
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Shaenon Garrity ||    Forum ·  External Homepage ·  Blog · 

The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile