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Shaenon: Heck yeah! The Zombie Rights Campaign has named Unity its 2009 Zombie of the Year. Writes ZRC president John Sears:

Amongst our distinguished Zombie nominees, Unity has still managed to stand out this year, with heroism and valor in the service of our nation, and of the larger human community. When an unknown threat menaced the frozen North, Unity was sent along with the rest of her mixed-species squad of shadow government operatives into harm's way. When the threat spread like a viral wildfire, it was Unity's Zombie fists that stood between Western Democracy and total oblivion. And finally, perhaps most touchingly, it was Zombie Juices that became a panacea, curing a plague and freeing an entire town from a nightmarish existence.

Just think: this time, it was a Zombie that
saved the human race from an almost unstoppable pandemic.

Thank you, John. We're all very proud over here. And thanks very much to the ZRC's technical director for the above illustration of Unity brandishing her award in an appropriately joyful and threatening manner.


Channing: I think it's a wonderful step forward, a small but potent blow in the struggle to clear away anti-zombie prejudice, that we've managed to do the entire commentary so far without even once mentioning the word "Brains".

Dangit.

14 comments:
Rockphed (rockphed) says: To me it looks more like Unity has stolen the prize and is running away with it.  As the ZRC could not retreive the prize with suitably low casuaty rates, they opted to come up with what they considered a far fetched reason for giving it to her.  They just happened to hit the truth.
ribbles (ribbles) says: I like that one can read (quite justifiably) Unity's actions as honorable and patriotic when her main instinct is to get in to fights with whoever is in front of her.  Reminds me of Freefall, where the characters mostly act like rational humans would despite their thinking about things in totally alien ways.
Brian Rogers (billionsix) says: Yeah, my first thought was thet she was running away with it. Or had snatched it out of someone's hands.
John Sears (john_sears) says:

Fear not, Skin Horse readers, Unity won the award fair and square.

The ZRC will not comment, however, on what may or may not have happened immediately afterward, who was or was not involved, and where they are or are not currently receiving medical attention. No further questions please. 

Honora O\'Toole (jinjur) says: Undead, not unpeople! End vitalist stereotypes!
John Sears (john_sears) says: One of our most popular picket signs is 'Undead Not Unperson'.  We also get a great response from 'Zombies Are People Too'
Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: Well to be fair, if I had to be stuck with a zombie, UNITY would be my first choice. At least you can reason with her to a degree.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

NOTE:  There is a brewery in Cardiff, Wales called "Brains".  They make several different kinds of beer and ale.  This would obviously be the beverage of choice to toast Unity's victory.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brains_Brewery

(TUNE: "Memphis" (aka "Help Me Information"), Chuck Berry)

I got vaccination, and my gratitude's sincere!
'Cause Unity's selected as the Zombie of the Year!
I don't change on the full moon, but I'm finding that, instead,
I'll sneak up on my friends and I'll start gnawing on their head!

The werewolf pack was closing in, we had to make a stand,
So Unity decided she'd pitch in and lend a hand!
And, just like in those old-time western movies that I saw,
She said, "I want revenge upon the one who took my paw!"

Her zombie juices cured us, so we're now infection-free!
Yes, we stopped the werewolf virus and we saved humanity!
So let's all raise a glass of Brains and give out with a cheer,
For Unity, who's chosen as the Zombie of the Year!

John Breckenridge (jbrecken) says:

(TUNE "Purple Rain", Prince)

I never meant to steal this, just to borrow
I swear I would return it back again
I only wanted one time to hold the trophy
I only wanted to hold the trophy of the golden brain

Golden brain, golden brain
Golden brain, golden brain
Golden brain, golden brain
I didn't mean to steal the trophy of the golden brain

I never thought I could be the ZOTY winner
I only thought I could start some kind of trend
Maybe I should go and steal myself another
It's such a shame my reign will have to end

Golden brain, golden brain
Golden brain, golden brain
Golden brain, golden brain
I only want the chocolate underneath the golden brain

 

John Sears (john_sears) says:

Hmm, foil wrapped chocolate brains.

I've seen brain jello molds.  I wonder if anyone's making brain chocolate molds.

 Then it'd just be a matter of getting gold foil. 

ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says: Maybe white chocolate with a touch of pink coloring?  Or cherry-essence infused white chocolate?  Mmmmmmmm, braaaaaiiiiinnnnssss.....
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says: To john_sears:  Here you go!  http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Pop-Candy-Molds/dp/B0008DIDYO/ref=sr_1_3/186-0160834-0171651?ie=UTF8&s=miscellaneous&qid=1257711628&sr=8-3 
John Sears (john_sears) says:

Ooh, thanks.   I should have hit Amazon to look but I got distracted and forgot.

I am totally going to make candy brains now.

Or, you know, when the molds get here. 

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile