Shaenon K. Garrity's Comics   || Online Comics · RSS · Creator Profile · Join Mailing List ·
Smithson Thus Far... ·

Terry Smith (wcfan) says: No 'carry on My Wayward Son' for M?
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: There's always classic rock stations, Terry...
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

And speaking of the 1970's ... 

(TUNE: "Peaceful Easy Feeling", The Eagles)

This sweet young lady and this charming rogue
Will go and do as they please ...
When I enquire, they say they're going to "vogue"
Outside the local Applebee's!

So while the humans
Tend to feeding,
My desperation's profound!
For I'm desp'rately needing
To be wound!

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Aw, man! Missing the mainstream '70s is all right, but the entirety of progressive rock's heyday? What a crying shame.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

I don't want to make assumptions about the old fellow, but Moustachio doesn't strike me as the hard-rocking type. I could be wrong. Maybe he rocks.
Drew (pseudowolf) says:

Moustachio is totally metal.

*runs and hides*
woozy (woozy) says:

"Moustachio is totally metal."

 But he waxes poetical.

 *runs and hides even more so*

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

I'm betting he has a tin ear anyway...

(I got yer run-and-hide right here! Bring it on!!!) 

Rob (rrreed) says: Moustachio has a green thumb, too!

Oh, wait—that's verdigris. Never mind.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Moustachio is also a big fan of Iron Maiden.

No wait, that was his first girlfriend.

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

  Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

I don't want to make assumptions about the old fellow, but Moustachio doesn't strike me as the hard-rocking type. I could be wrong. Maybe he rocks.

I thought he was bolted down?

*runs the other way to hide* 

Sean Riedinger (ariamaki) says:

Man, I have not head-desked so thoroughly or frequently in weeks, until this comment thread came along.

 Plus, you are all wrong-- Moustachio is clearly shaped better to rock and roll. Assuming he is keyed for it.

OK, my turn to hide-- You all grab the pitchforks!

ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says: Hm; Moustachio strikes me as more the Happy Hardcore type, somehow.  XD
Fandarel (fandarel) says: I think I have Metal fatigue.
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Tune in next time:

  1. Will Marcie and Tip go Vogue at Applebee's only to find that it's really a Harper's Bazaar and decide to stumble onto Chill's, feeling LOVE, Dazed and Confused? (And more than one girl mistakes Tip for an Elle.)
  2. Will Moustachio discover not only that he's missed the 1970's, but also the 80's, 90's and Today?
  3. And will Tip remember to find a suitable salon and spa for his hair, facial treatments and massage next week?
All this, plus Moustacio sings, I'm a Modern Major General!


(Thank goodness Wikipedia has all the important stuff, like a list of actual Fashion Magazine titles.)

  1. Will Marcie and Tip go Vogue at Applebee's only to find that it's really a Harper's Bazaar and decide to stumble onto Chill's, feeling LOVE, Dazed and Confused? (And more than one girl mistakes Tip for an Elle.)
  2. Will Moustachio discover not only that he's missed the 1970's, but also the 80's, 90's and Today?
  3. And will Tip remember to find a suitable salon and spa for his hair, facial treatments and massage next week?
All this, plus Moustacio sings, I'm a Modern Major General!
Eric Burns (ericburns) says: They are each others' Barbie dolls. Only of course neither are in pink.
Naomi H (starbright) says: He asked Unity out? I know Tip loves the ladies, but I thought better of his survival instinct.
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: We may have stumbled onto the next big thing in zombie comedy. Bigger than Shaun of the Dead, bigger than's So I'm Dating a Zombie!
Joe Glow (joe_glow) says: ladies??
Rob (rrreed) says: Sounds like the sequel to So I Married an Axe Murderer
John Sears (john_sears) says:

Puts a whole new spin on Rom-Zom-Com.

The ZRC might be able to get behind such a film.   

woozy (woozy) says:

Joe Glow (joe_glow) says: ladies??

Marcie seems to have a cognitive disconnect between general and specific.  Yesterday she said "You have patience to put up with these yutzes" apparently unaware that "these yutzes" is equivalent to Tip and only Tip.  Today she says she was surprised Tip never went after "Skin Horse Ladies" unaware that that is equivalent to a dog, a bee colony, and Unity.

Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

rrreed: With UNITY, both of those titles could fit.

Maybe tomorrow we'll learn why Tip didn't go after Sweetheart when he was feeling wolfish.  Besides, you know, not needing her vote.

Why Tip doesn't hit it off with Gavotte seems pretty self-explanatory.

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

To be fair to Marcie, it would not be out of character for Tip to try to score with a swarm of bees. Or, well, anything really.
David Vander Deen (dvddeen) says: Well he did say to Sweetheart he didn't go after Sparkle because he isn't attracted to dogs.  I guess that zombies do make the attraction list.  Gavette I believe is also off the list as if I recall at the very beginning of this strip he said Gavette made him very uncomfortable.  I suppose that Unity could technically qualify as ladies seeing as she is made from several different people.
Dominic Corbin (lnick) says: I would think Tip wouldn't pursue a relationship with Gavotte due to his bee sting allergies.  I know horrible death always dampens my enthusiasm for romance.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: He presumably didn't know Unity very well back then.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Unity is likely made up of mostly female parts, and mostly human parts. That about adds up in Tip's book, I imagine.
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: I imagine that Wolf!Tip was trying to hold onto his humanity. Sex with Sweetheart or Sparkle would have been letting the wolf win a little too much.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Those two seem to get along well.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE:  "Faithfully", Journey)

Having fun in the noonday sun,
Sharing bento lunch by Applebee's ...
I confess, while my hair gets done,
How I used to date the Skin Horse ladies ...

They say that the office isn't a place for romance!
I went on a date one time, though, with Unity!
I thought that a zombie girl would enjoy a slow dance ...
She tied a knot in me!
Though my joints snapped back...

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

she made him a bento box with a TEENY HELLO KITTY!

i think this speaks well for marcie :)

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: I'm trying to figure out what kind of a pick-up line would you use with a Queen Bee.
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: There's nothing saying that there couldn't have been another more-or-less human female at Skin Horse when Tip started. They do have a fairly high turnover rate.
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

@Justin: Why Tip doesn't hit it off with Gavotte seems pretty self-explanatory.  She can deliver a pretty stinging putdown.  The very thought of the two of them gives me hives.

@dvandom: How often does Tip turn them over?

clark brooks (czark) says: Perhaps it's a Totoro and not a kitty? Inquiring minds need to know!
K C (spotweld) says: Is there going to be a "Ladies of Skin Horse" calendar?
(gamerbj) says: Unity probably wasn't enough like a normal zombie to turn off Tip. In honesty, she has more in common with Frankenstein's creature than a zombie. Of course Tip probably learned his lesson very quickly.
Drew (pseudowolf) says:

@KC: Or perhaps a "Twelve Months Of Tip" calendar?

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

@lnick: I was going to say I remember Tip saying he's deathly allergic to bee-stings, and acute anaphylaxis does tend to spoil the mood.

@drbrain: I'm sure I have a URL somewhere for instructions on how to actually make a Hello Kitty bento... 

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Andrew correctly identified the bento critters as Lark Pien's Long Tail Kitty.
Prodigal (prodigal) says:

Eric Burns-White's comment about Barbies, coupled with what Tip had to say about Unity, hatched this filk in my head. And since I refuse to suffer alone:


I'm a zombie girl,

In a zombie world...

Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: Marcie is so cute.
Rob (rrreed) says: Barely even have to change anything for this one, thanks to the virtuoso talent of Andrew Matthew Yankovic…

Marcie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left Manolo
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rich solo

And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to #1 on my list
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire
Bikini supermodel irradiationist

Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big

I said, "Hey! Are we doing government work here?
Yes, I think that we are!
You're close! (Close!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
So close!
But no cigar!"
Rob Davidoff (eofpi) says:

This comic made me think about my own geek girlfriend in the middle of an annoying english paper when I was not doing so already. Thank you for that, Jeff and Shaenon.

 Geeky, if you're reading this, stay geeky, be well, I love you. And pretty much everything makes me wish you were here.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: *snicker*
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Blue Suede Shoes", Elvis Presley)

Well, it's one for Manolo!
Two for my toe!
Three to get fierce, and then
Go girl go!

But don't you
Go for my new cute shoes!
All the boys that I know,
They all go for my new cute shoes!

Well-ah, some are sub ... some are dom ...
Spank their fannies, they call me Mom!
Furries dress up like kangaroos ...
But all those perverts get off on my shoes!

Oh, don't you
Go for my new cute shoes!
I'm a-singing the blues,
They're just wanting my new cute shoes!

clark brooks (czark) says: On the one hand, Tip seemed more sensitive to the emotional needs of the silverfish; on the other hand, fierce clothes *are* an emotional need for him; on the gripping hand, nobody but Unity has a gripping hand.
K C (spotweld) says: I wonder how long before she realizes she could pretty much own the room at a science fiction convention.
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says: Okay, I *know* this dates me, but... anybody ever heard an old CS&N song called 'Fair Game'?  **SNERK** 'The ones you never notice / are the ones you have to watch...'
Rob (rrreed) says: @Clark—if Unity is wearing Ramone, Jr., even she doesn't have a gripping hand, er, handy.

Is that a mote I see in your eye?
Alix Tierney (almaseti) says: hahahahaha This is the kind of thing they made acronyms like lmao for.
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Aw, poor Marcie.
Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says: An avoidance pattern?  Or just procrastination?  Tip would like Dr. Lee to believe that...
Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says: Well, ya KNOW Dr. Lee couldnt come back, without SOME sort of awkward complication going on.
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:


.......Oh, I really cannot see this ending well.

Rob (rrreed) says: Hey! Ira's memory is improving! He remembered that he has a memory problem!
Nate Cull (natecull) says:


Skin Horse! Project Skin Horse!
It's headquartered in this buil-il-ding!
Annex One, [REDACTED]!
It's where we put all our weirdest things!
Marcie from Irradiation knows
That Tip likes to dress up in women's clothes
She thinks she's his girfriend
But here comes The Enigma
From Anasigma
Doctor Virginia Lee!

Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says:

Way back (2008-11-19) Tip denied that Virginia was a girlfriend. Now (2009-11-03) he's singing a quite different song about Marcie.

Marcie looks perturbed about all this - and rightly so.

And Virginia may have some secret weapon here (may? surely she has!)

But for the moment being, I still bet on Marcie.  And on the thing ending well - Tip power or superpower may extend to "keeping friends" ... when needed.  Of course, that power does not always work...

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: O-ho-ho-ho! This'll be good.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Just because you asked for it ... 

(TUNE: "Take A Chance On Me", ABBA)

If a need you've got
For a twisted plot,
There's a chance you'll see
Pretty Doctor Lee!
She's a neurosurgeon, who
Will extract your brain!
With a bit of urgin', too,
She will soon explain ...

What she wants to do ...
(It's just a little mad science!)
See the plans she drew?

And now she shows up at the Annex ...
Poor Miss Riley panics;
What's Tip gonna do now?
And just as things were getting better,
Tip just might forget her!
Is their romance through now?
("Cause you know Lee's hot!)

She's got that exotic air!
Poor Marcie feels despair!
It's tragic!
Still, no girl has to lose!
Tip doesn't have to choose!
But will Shaenon draw
A menage-a-trois?

If a need you've got
For a twisted plot,
There's a chance you'll see
Pretty Doctor Lee ...

Mark Chapman (aardvark86) says: Dear Ed, we're not worthy, we're not worthy!
Laura Chapple (ironychan) says: Nate, is that supposed to be to the tune of the Flintstones song?
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

Umm..., it's not like Marcie doesn't know about Tip's habits -- she was ribbing him about them, while Virginia is just another "how did he do that?" one-night stand. 

 Of course, If she Ginny just wanted to contact Tip, surely she could have passed a message through Nick and his LJ?  I'd bet she's actually here to checkup on Unity.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: Sorry, I just can't see fireworks going off between Tip and Lee. Virgina and Unity on the other hand, well, let's just say there will be lots and lots of blueberries on hand.
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: Also, damn it, Ed! Now I have that song playing in my head!
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: The funny part is that I have pretty much the exact same problem, only in less sexy areas of life and thus minus the involvement of large numbers of attractive women.
K C (spotweld) says: I think everyone is understimating the *power* of Tip's abilities here.
Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says:

Tip's hand still resting on Marcie's shoulder while he talks to Virginia...  I think that's telling his current feelings.  I agree with Kunz on this.

On a witty verse of Ed's song:

Shaenon has dared drawing Tip with two women.  But it was women with no names.  The dynamics involving named women is uncharted territory for Tip... and I feel this is not the way Tin Soldier is going.  Am I underestimating Tip's power?  No, it's about his intentions, I don't doubt the power.

BTW, I think I spot an early Tip and an early Sweetheart there on the back of Helen's wedding: ... and some kind of à trois is involved.,.

John Kirby (big_john3) says: Actually that is Agatha and her boyfriends from the wonderful Girl Genius strip by Phil and Kaja Foglio (read it too, lovely story and funny :) In front of them is Krosp the Emperor of Cats. I love the way this story is unfolding, although I don't always get the "in-jokes" iot is a great read.
Vlad Taltos (flyingfish) says: Ruben, if you're referring to back row right, I'm... never mind, John beat me to it. Anyway, no surprise Agatha and Helen hang out, although Agatha prefers the purely mechanical arts (especially with STEAM!)
Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says: On the other hand, that sure looks like Doc Lee in the front row of that picture, looking at her watch.
Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:

Naah.  Dollars to doughnuts that's Mell with her hair up.  Who else could, I ask you, even *survive* being Helen's bridesmaid?

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

@Carl & Jeff: Yep, that's definitely Mel holding the bouquet. The blond behind her is Caliban, and I'm fairly sure that's Zeta behind him.

I'm afraid I have no idea who the lizard is, though...? 

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says: I take it back — the "lizard" is obviously the elder Miss Kelly in her guise as His Majesty the Hapax Legomenon.
Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says:

Mongor! Must be Mongor!

I think I see Mom, Bill, Titus, two Madbloods (at least one must be robotic), Lovelace, Seth, THREE UR-GERBILS (YEAH!), I think that some winners of the Knipl Genius Grant, and... Shaenon and Andrew, of course.

Could someone verify that's really Mom? That may matter for continuity.  All of the attendants are able to survive Helen, Dave, and even Mom (Titus is indestructible).  As Channing suggests, this may be a requirement for attendance.

Oh, could those be hamsters?

Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says: Mr Dave: Hapax Legomenon could be more fun than Mongor...  Rule of Funny rules it's His Majesty, then :-)
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

This whole conversation is making me feel very sad about my drawing ability. Of course that's Mongor. The lady in the front row is Dave's mom, who doesn't appear in Narbonic, but I figured she'd be at the wedding.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Oh, and the person who commissioned the piece specifically requested that some mad scientists from other webcomics attend, which is why the Girl Genius characters are there. They're the ones I know best.
Prodigal (prodigal) says: That really looks like Tip next to teh Ur-Gerbils.
Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says:

Shaenon: it's not so much a drawing thing as this reader's wish to jump into conclusions... That front-row lady does not look like Helen's mom, and is sitting next to Dave's brother - of course she is Dave's mom!  (And she has the same hair color as Dave - quite different from Helen's!  What was I drinking?)  The people in the back look quite unlike Tip and the Skin Horse cast... but I wanted to see them there, and there you have it - I see a Sweetheart-analog in an obvious cat...  But I may have seen the wedding piece before I grokked what was really going on with Agatha's two boyfriends, so my chances of getting the right answer were pretty low at best.

Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says: Hmmm... and if Helen's mom was present at all, Mongor would've been next to her.  So she's not Helen's mom.  Again - duh, that's Dave's Mom, and the drawing screams that pretty loudly - for those not too deaf to hear.
Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says:

You guys ought to just call each other on the phone, and make it a conferace call. Sheesh!


Harris Bias (polychrome) says: I think Sweetheart needs to get laid.
Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says: Of course, Sweetheart! And I betcha it turns into a three-way with Tip, Dr. Lee and his New One (name eludes me..)
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: ...It's Marcie, Tim. Forgetting her name /already/? You're worse than Tip...
Rob (rrreed) says: Hmmm… I think Tip is the Ballerina, and Sweetheart is the Tin Soldier, here.
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: Challenge for Ed: Stay by Shakespear's Sister. Marcella Riley to sing Marcella Detroit's part (that's where I got the idea from) Siobhan Fahey's part can go either to Dr Lee, or Tip.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Pete: your wish is my compulsion ... 

(TUNE: "Stay", Shakespear's Sister)

Got a makeover from Tip;
I was frumpy, now I'm fine!
How he makes my heartbeat skip,
Sends a shiver down my spine!
But at the front desk now, you wait ...
A girl Tip used to date!

Hey ... it's ... Lee!
Hey ... it's ... Lee!

Now you start to talk to him,
With your dark and silky hair,
And your figure slim and trim,
And exotic Asian air,
I just know I can't compare ...
Go away, this isn't fair!

Hey ... it's ... Lee!
Hey ... it's ... Lee!

[Dr. Lee:]
I've had a lousy day,
I flew here all the way
Out from Nevada ...
I've travelled long and hard,
And now this stupid guard
Just makes me madder!
I came to talk to Tip,
So girl, why don't you skip
And hit the freeway?
But with his superpower,
I bet within an hour,
We'll have a three-way ...

Play with Lee ...
And Mar-cie!

Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: Thank you.
Brian Rogers (billionsix) says: Poor Sweetheart. Poor whining little martyr. ;)  hehe
Timothy Whitcomb (timothywhitcomb) says: hey Adam..just geting older, and the side effects of a mild stroke. That, adn having a bit of aphsia of teh keyboard. 8-)
Nick Lardas (voyager) says: I kind of feel sorry for Marcie, actually.
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Meanwhile, in the background, Tip is blathering on happily while Dr. Lee and Marcie stare blankly at each other....
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: I agree with Harris. She really needs a wiener(dog) in her.
Steve Ford (fordsfords) says:

You know, Sweetheart would be an awful lot funnier if you didn't make her exactly like MMMEEEE!!!!!

(Hey Sweetheart, if you figure out how to get people to listen to you, let me know how you did it.) 

Drew (pseudowolf) says:

Hey did you guys hear something? Sounded like a Ford or something? Nah, must be hearing things.

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

This whole conversation is making me feel very sad about my drawing ability. Of course that's Mongor.

@Shaennon: Of course it is. It isn't that it doesn't look like Mongor, it's just that I'd... erm... forgotten about Mongor. 

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Poor guy.  Sweetheart, you really need to learn to listen.
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: Huh. So I'm picking up jealousy from Sweetheart. Question is, is this a species-inappropriate crush, or is it canine loyalty? Maybe both?
Rachel S. (masamage) says: Ack! Did she break him? o_o
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Overwound clank! Does this spell.... RRRRRAMPAGE?


So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Uh-oh.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "Steam" by Peter Gabriel)

Stand back!
Stand back!

What are those airships doing flying round my mast
The Crystal Palace years are coming back, coming back
In a blast, in a blast

Give me spring
And how you feel can turn my wheels
Wheels of a Difference Machine
I'm alive!
And I'm going 'ping'

I know a straight line from a curve
Galvanic battery from a nerve
I can integrate the height
Of a Martian shell in flight
And I know you

I see a vision of the Queen
Punching a Jacquard loom machine
Giant steam-butlers by her side
Computing British pride
And I see you

Give me spring
Her Flag unfurls across the world
The world of eighteen fifty-three
I'm alive!
And I'm going 'ping'


Rob (rrreed) says:

"Aah! I see you have the machine that goes 'ping'. This is my favorite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account."
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says: That one's brilliant. I'm a big PG fan.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down", The Band)

It was not long ago
That Tip wound Moustacio ...
Then surly Sweetheart came through,
And wound up his key anew!
In the office of Annex One,
The adventure has just barely begun!
In the mind of this metal man,
Well, the scrap heap ... is about to hit the fan!

Tonight, he's slightly tightly wound!
And all his gears are grinding!
Tonight, he's slightly tightly wound!
And in his mind unconfined he will find
Oh!  Such creation-joy!
Rampage, demolish, crush and destroy!

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

I don't think Sweetheart is jealous so much as pissed that nobody is actually doing any work.


But this really can't be good for Moustachio.  What would happen now if someone asked him "Why?"



fluffy <3 (fluffy) says:

Wow, Sweetheart is such a bitch!

(see what I did there?)

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Yes, fluffy, I saw.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says:

"Hey, Mustachio, what's up?  You see a little tightly-wound." 

Dan perra (khyrin) says: If he does rampage, it'll prolly be a confined one... Britsh government still hasn't returned his legs from the last time he did, IIRC.
Add a Comment:
Log In or Register to post a comment! It's free!

Tooncast this comic on your own website by copying and pasting this code snippet:
<script language="javascript" src=""></script>
Shaenon Garrity ||    Forum ·  External Homepage ·  Blog · 

The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile