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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Sean Riedinger (ariamaki) says: ...Hark, A Fire Alarm!
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Try winding him some more.  Because that's worked ever so well.
Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

So...winding up Mustachio turns him into GLADOS?


"Prizes will be awarded to all compliant organics" is only a few steps away from "At the end there will be grief counseling and cake."


Be afraid.  Be *VERY* afraid.

Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says: Derek: You will be baked, and then there will be cake.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Something's up all right!

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Hark, the fire alarm is ringing
Drowning out the carol singing
Peace on earth is nice I guess
But it won't get me world conquest
So proceed to the lobby please
And exit this facility
Compliance will lead to prizes
Cake in a range of handy sizes
Hark the fire alarm, etc
Don't make me get up and getcha.


Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Oh come all organics
Lawful and productive
Come ye, come ye to Parking Lot A

Klaxons we have heard on high
Sweetly wheezing their refrain
And the air ducts in reply
Echo back their joyous strain
Awoo-ooo-ooo-ga, awoo-ooo-ooo-ga

Clear your desks right now, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Just leave your laptops there, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Don't touch that USB key, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Write down your passwords plz pa-rum-pum-pum-pum

Oh little block of Annex One
How still we see you lie
Beneath your still and dreamless sleep
I'm baking Fusion Pie

Gone away is the old boss
Here to stay is the new boss
I'll plot your demise with my new device
Rampaging in an AI wonderland


Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "O Come, O Come Emmanuel)

Obey, obey Mousta-a-a-chi-o ...
Now to the exits you-ou-ou must go ...
Organics who comply-y will be
Rewarded with a ga-ame for the Wii ...
Ram-page!  Ram-page!  And Co-o-onquest ho!
Be fearful of Mousta-a-a-chi-o!

Carolyn Chan (hraefn) says: Bravissimo!
Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says: You've broken the heart of a silverfish lady.
Myrddin ap Taliesin (myrddhin) says: Mustachio going GladOS would rock. It was less than a month ago Schlock had a Portal nod. To have one here, well... two of my favorite comics can't be wrong, can they?
Kenneth Graves (kag) says: I can't decide if Moustachio's prevarication circuit is tuned for "children" or "Unities".  Or how one would ever tell the difference.
Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

A fire alarm...

Clearly, he needs a better script writer...

"Look, it's the Winged Victory of Samothrace!"

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

@kag: Children break more stuff?




clark brooks (czark) says: Fascinating how he knows Sweetheart's buttons to push but not her name. Fusion pie! nom nom nom.
Jon McCormick (youko) says: I think it's more that he feels she's inferior and not worthy of a name rather than him not knowing it.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "O Little Town Of Bethlehem)

Of-fi-cial safety protocol,
How you protect us all!
Without your rules, we'd look like fools
And on our faces fall!

We must not be ig-nor-ing
The raucous fire alarm!
In black and white, you guide us right
And keep us safe from harm!

Myrddin ap Taliesin (myrddhin) says: Is it so much that he doesn't know his name or that she's organic and thus inferior and not worthy of her name being used?
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Sensible regulations! The Canadian's only weakness!
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "Jingle Bells")

Silly hats! Silly string! Guns for everyone!
Oh what fun it is to run amok in Annex One, hey!

Blowing off a fire drill
Was Sweetheart's dark desire
But she looked like such a fool
When the stationery cupboard caught fire
See binders twist and burn
In a ghastly three-ring light
When will puny organics learn
That protocol's ALWAYS right?

Silly hats! Silly string! Guns for everyone!
Oh what fun it is to run amok in Annex One, hey!

Now it's been a thousand years
Since that dreadful date
The sum of all man's fears writ large
In carbon triplicate!
In the invoice-less ruins
Of civilisation's end
Survivors curse the thrice-damned name
Of SWEETHEART, blackest fiend!

Silly hats! Silly string! Guns for everyone!
Oh what fun it is to run amok in Annex One, hey!

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: Huh.  He cleans up nicely too.
Corey Klemow (cklemow_g) says:

...the "trotting" alarms... ?

Someone been dusting off their old copies of Planetfall or Stationfall lately, have they?

Blather is such a trotting krip...

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "Three", Massive Attack)

Three's my lucky eyeliner
Irradiation sample three
For sure my atomic eyeliner
Will make me dead sexy

But I'm missing the gel removal phase
It's just so hard to time
Oh I'm missing it because of a fire alarm
I wish we had no safety rules
I wish we had no safety rules

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree", Johnny Marks)

Wand'ring around the parking lot
In the front of Annex One ...
Gotta admit that this is not
My idea of having fun!

Wand'ring around the parking lot
With the other girls and boys ...
Unity wonders who has got
All the promised fusion toys!

Don't you think Mou-sta-chi-o is acting ... kinda weird?
Seems he's trying to take over ...
Chris, he gets a full make-over!

Wand'ring around the parking lot
What is happ'ning? I don't know ...
Moustachio's getting kinda hot
And he's ... "Con-... quest ... ho!!"

Nate Cull (natecull) says: Why does he want them in the parking lot, anyway, where they can easily run away?
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: HO-ly...!
Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says: Oh my. Nice.
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says: @ Ed: You Rock...*and* Rule! (And around the Christmas Tree, no less!)
D. Connolly (theogrin) says:

This gentleman's camaderie with the common citizen shows he is, truly, a member of the Vox Pompuleii.

Also, those cobras are still adorable.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Aha!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town", J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie)

He really can shout;
He really takes charge!
So throw your chest out
And answer, "Yes, Sarge!"
Main-ten-ance has something ... to say!

With robots so small
And cobras kawaii,
He's leading us all!
(Is there any pie?)
Main-ten-ance is leading ... the way!

His voice, it sounds like thunder!
Obey him, or we're dead!
I just can't help but wonder,
Does he daily wax his head?

So ...
We'll follow his lead,
And follow his plan!
(I think I might need
To visit the can ...)
Main-ten-ance is saving ... the day!


Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: Cute snakes...why did it have to be cute snakes?
Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says: "Hug me!"
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: I've always felt that maintenance workers don't get enough respect in the world. This fellow might just be about to prove it.
Crazy Bob (cbob) says: It's official, I'm in Love with Unity. Hack away my love.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: Merry Christmas, Skin Horse.
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: She'll get her chance....
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Wassail Song", traditional)

See the people wan-der-ing around the parking lot!
See the si-tu-a-tion; we don't know what we've got!
Let's find out!  Let's not guess!
Let's assess this stressful mess!
And we're trying a few computer hacks ...
(Without an axe!)
Yes, we're trying a few computer hacks!

D. Connolly (theogrin) says:

A decidedly unorthodox method of gaining axcess, that.

Mad Andy (andrew_c) says: Merry Greasemass!
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: I wonder what happened to the multiply-mindwiped doorman?
Joseph W. (alberich) says:

Hmmm...Mustachio's creation predates fusion technology, so someone must've modified him more recently...Anasigma's first try....So, Dr. Lee saves the day with "Blueberry crumpets!  Marmalade!"

Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says: @Dave: See Wednesday's strip, panel 2.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Oh dear.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

TUNE: "Last Christmas"(Wham)

Crowded room, operatives with tired eyes
Hiding from a steampunk robot plotting our demise
My god, I let you have a weapon
Me, I guess I should have braced for all the wreckin'

A hardened computer core for the fire alarm
Built to survive nuclear war - and you tore it apart
Ooh-hoo, now I've seen what you do
I'm backing away now slowly

Last Christmas
I gave you an axe
And told you we needed
A 'computer hack'

This year
To save my derriere
I'll give it to someone saner

Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

Yup.  Mustachio has become GLaDOS. 


AI is, indeed, a crapshoot.  Even when its clockwork.

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: I want to know what his weapons look like.  Or has he coopted the building's computers?
Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

It struck me while reading this that it's going to be like five years before we get the Director's Commentary to explain who all the folks in the crowd scenes are.  Which made me sad.  (Which is a bit weird, since none of them will be people that I know anyway!)

Meantime, I entertained many family and friends this holiday season by telling them about "Lurch for the Cure" and the necessity of pledging.  The December 9 strip may be the funniest single strip yet seen in this comic.  (Which is to say; it ranks very high by absolute standards!)

Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Come on....   Alll these people from a top-secret, govornment black ops organization and none of them are pulling out weaponry  and firing back? Tip with his hold-out gun?  Somebody from the Dept. of Irradiation with their pocket meson cannon?

What kind of a wussy bunch are they?

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: There ARE toys. For Mustachio.
Scott Malcomson (calbeck) says: o^O;
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Uh-oh.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Winter Wonderland", Felix Bernard and Richard B. Smith)

Weapons hum ... can't you hear them?
I don't want ... to be near them!
The parking lot's filled
With folks to be killed,
In a target-rich environment!

It's the day ... after Christmas!
Hope those wea- ... pons will miss us!
We're cursing our luck
As, quickly, we duck
In a target-rich environment!

In the office, there's a thinking engine
Who, it seems, has gone awry, alas!
We're out here, all cowerin' and cringin' ...
But Tip will save the day and kick some brass!

But 'til then, 'twill get bloody!
Better run!  Grab a buddy!
Or else you will be
A ca-su-al-ty,
In a target-rich environment!
To the Pearly Gates you will be sent!
From this target-rich environment!

David Petty (shdwsng) says:

I can just hear Ed's song being sung in sort of a chorus round thing by the people in the parking lot about now!  

 And as far as this is going, I have but one problem with it. We have to wait until Monday to see the Conquest really beginning! Keep up the amazing work!

Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says: Is that Andrew in the second row from the bottom?
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: remember when i said, "this is a test"
and you were all "okay then"
and then i was like "and now you are going to die"
that was great
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says: Hmm. And where, I'm wondering, is Gavotte during all this?
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: Wouldn't be surprised if the weaponry came from below them, not above them. Think of all the basements and subbasements this Annex has.
Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says: I spy a Shaenon Garrity and a Jeffrey Channing Wells in the crowd of Annex One employees! How exactly do a couple of grade school teachers transition to a career in the shadow government? (I suspect it has to do with having detailed intelligence on a certain Mell Kelly)
Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says: On second thought, I guess I don't see Shaenon (wrong glasses and black hair), but I would recognize that fabulous hat of Mr Wells anywhere!
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: And how fabulous is that hat?
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile