Hark, the fire alarm is ringing Drowning out the carol singing Peace on earth is nice I guess But it won't get me world conquest So proceed to the lobby please And exit this facility Compliance will lead to prizes Cake in a range of handy sizes Hark the fire alarm, etc Don't make me get up and getcha.
Oh come all organics Lawful and productive Come ye, come ye to Parking Lot A
Klaxons we have heard on high Sweetly wheezing their refrain And the air ducts in reply Echo back their joyous strain Awoo-ooo-ooo-ga, awoo-ooo-ooo-ga
Clear your desks right now, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Just leave your laptops there, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Don't touch that USB key, pa-rum-pum-pum-pum Write down your passwords plz pa-rum-pum-pum-pum
Oh little block of Annex One How still we see you lie Beneath your still and dreamless sleep I'm baking Fusion Pie
Gone away is the old boss Here to stay is the new boss I'll plot your demise with my new device Rampaging in an AI wonderland
Obey, obey Mousta-a-a-chi-o ... Now to the exits you-ou-ou must go ... Organics who comply-y will be Rewarded with a ga-ame for the Wii ... Ram-page! Ram-page! And Co-o-onquest ho! Be fearful of Mousta-a-a-chi-o!
Ruben Krasnopolsky (ruben) says:
You've broken the heart of a silverfish lady.
Myrddin ap Taliesin (myrddhin) says:
Mustachio going GladOS would rock. It was less than a month ago Schlock had a Portal nod. To have one here, well... two of my favorite comics can't be wrong, can they?
Kenneth Graves (kag) says:
I can't decide if Moustachio's prevarication circuit is tuned for "children" or "Unities". Or how one would ever tell the difference.
Of-fi-cial safety protocol, How you protect us all! Without your rules, we'd look like fools And on our faces fall!
We must not be ig-nor-ing The raucous fire alarm! In black and white, you guide us right And keep us safe from harm!
Myrddin ap Taliesin (myrddhin) says:
Is it so much that he doesn't know his name or that she's organic and thus inferior and not worthy of her name being used?
John Ames (commodorejohn) says:
Sensible regulations! The Canadian's only weakness!
Silly hats! Silly string! Guns for everyone! Oh what fun it is to run amok in Annex One, hey!
Blowing off a fire drill Was Sweetheart's dark desire But she looked like such a fool When the stationery cupboard caught fire See binders twist and burn In a ghastly three-ring light When will puny organics learn That protocol's ALWAYS right?
Silly hats! Silly string! Guns for everyone! Oh what fun it is to run amok in Annex One, hey!
Now it's been a thousand years Since that dreadful date The sum of all man's fears writ large In carbon triplicate! In the invoice-less ruins Of civilisation's end Survivors curse the thrice-damned name Of SWEETHEART, blackest fiend!
Silly hats! Silly string! Guns for everyone! Oh what fun it is to run amok in Annex One, hey!
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:
Huh. He cleans up nicely too.
Three's my lucky eyeliner Irradiation sample three For sure my atomic eyeliner Will make me dead sexy
But I'm missing the gel removal phase It's just so hard to time Oh I'm missing it because of a fire alarm I wish we had no safety rules I wish we had no safety rules
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says:
I've always felt that maintenance workers don't get enough respect in the world. This fellow might just be about to prove it.
Crazy Bob (cbob) says:
It's official, I'm in Love with Unity. Hack away my love.
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:
Merry Christmas, Skin Horse.
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:
She'll get her chance....
See the people wan-der-ing around the parking lot! See the si-tu-a-tion; we don't know what we've got! Let's find out! Let's not guess! Let's assess this stressful mess! And we're trying a few computer hacks ... (Without an axe!) Yes, we're trying a few computer hacks!
Hmmm...Mustachio's creation predates fusion technology, so someone must've modified him more recently...Anasigma's first try....So, Dr. Lee saves the day with "Blueberry crumpets! Marmalade!"
Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:
@Dave: See Wednesday's strip, panel 2.
Crowded room, operatives with tired eyes Hiding from a steampunk robot plotting our demise My god, I let you have a weapon Me, I guess I should have braced for all the wreckin'
A hardened computer core for the fire alarm Built to survive nuclear war - and you tore it apart Ooh-hoo, now I've seen what you do I'm backing away now slowly
Last Christmas I gave you an axe And told you we needed A 'computer hack'
This year To save my derriere I'll give it to someone saner (Saner!)
It struck me while reading this that it's going to be like five years before we get the Director's Commentary to explain who all the folks in the crowd scenes are. Which made me sad. (Which is a bit weird, since none of them will be people that I know anyway!)
Meantime, I entertained many family and friends this holiday season by telling them about "Lurch for the Cure" and the necessity of pledging. The December 9 strip may be the funniest single strip yet seen in this comic. (Which is to say; it ranks very high by absolute standards!)
Come on.... Alll these people from a top-secret, govornment black ops organization and none of them are pulling out weaponry and firing back? Tip with his hold-out gun? Somebody from the Dept. of Irradiation with their pocket meson cannon?
What kind of a wussy bunch are they?
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says:
There ARE toys. For Mustachio.
(TUNE: "Winter Wonderland", Felix Bernard and Richard B. Smith)
Weapons hum ... can't you hear them? I don't want ... to be near them! The parking lot's filled With folks to be killed, In a target-rich environment!
It's the day ... after Christmas! Hope those wea- ... pons will miss us! We're cursing our luck As, quickly, we duck In a target-rich environment!
In the office, there's a thinking engine Who, it seems, has gone awry, alas! We're out here, all cowerin' and cringin' ... But Tip will save the day and kick some brass!
But 'til then, 'twill get bloody! Better run! Grab a buddy! Or else you will be A ca-su-al-ty, In a target-rich environment! To the Pearly Gates you will be sent! From this target-rich environment!
I can just hear Ed's song being sung in sort of a chorus round thing by the people in the parking lot about now!
And as far as this is going, I have but one problem with it. We have to wait until Monday to see the Conquest really beginning! Keep up the amazing work!
Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says:
Is that Andrew in the second row from the bottom?
John Ames (commodorejohn) says:
remember when i said, "this is a test"
and you were all "okay then"
and then i was like "and now you are going to die"
that was great
ysabet hasuko (ysabet) says:
Hmm. And where, I'm wondering, is Gavotte during all this?
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:
Wouldn't be surprised if the weaponry came from below them, not above them. Think of all the basements and subbasements this Annex has.
Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says:
I spy a Shaenon Garrity and a Jeffrey Channing Wells in the crowd of Annex One employees! How exactly do a couple of grade school teachers transition to a career in the shadow government? (I suspect it has to do with having detailed intelligence on a certain Mell Kelly)
Thomas Levy (ergonomytch) says:
On second thought, I guess I don't see Shaenon (wrong glasses and black hair), but I would recognize that fabulous hat of Mr Wells anywhere!
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:
And how fabulous is that hat?
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