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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says: ........Is he talking about a Laser?  This could be bad.
John Sears (john_sears) says:

Good lord man, you're letting the Colonials see you falling behind schedule on your conquest!

This will not do, at least not for a proper British war machine. 

woozy (woozy) says: I tell you, it's the world's slowest chaos and destruction. Does this geld your llama or what?
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "My Little Lovely", Moody Blues)

Sci-fi tales sometimes come true
Use gaffer tape and Nixie tubes
A Graflex flashgun hilt or two
My little doombot

Always believe and never doubt
That Tesla coils throw arcs about
And screens explode when the power goes out
Just like the movies

Lasers are like dreams
They take a while to aim
They leave red trails of flame
You can dodge them like a videogame
So shoot one wisely

Not all computers turn to crime
But it seems to happen all the time
You can try although it seems
A little slowly

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Yellow", Coldplay)

What do we use him for?
He sits there by the door,
And he seems quite mellow ...

With polished glow,
He sat there, shining bright ...
Got wound a bit too tight,
And he was all "Hello" ...

He sounded the alarm;
I think he means us harm!
Say, what an odd fellow ...

The cur-rent from the nixie tubes
Will soon ignite the lighting gas!
This con-quest thing could take a while ...
Hold on just half a mo ...

What's wrong with him?
I think he stripped a gear ...
Meanwhile, I'll have a beer
Down at Manganello ...

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: I feel sorry for the nixies whose hard labour are being used for devious ends.
clark brooks (czark) says: Sounds like a flame thrower; nixie tubes could display over ten characters with glowing hot wires.
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Nixie tubes, eh? Now that's some classy destruction.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh. He's still got the same personality.
Sor Cyress (sorcyress) says:

Hahahahaha!! Awww, Unity, the puppets aren't that bad!!

Also, what is it about the internet that turns sane and usually rational people into morons --I laughed aloud at the comic and wanted to leave a comment, I saw there were none, and I immediately had an urge to scrawl down "FIRST!". Why? Why why why? 

...Where's the psychologist when I really need one? 

Brian Rogers (billionsix) says: I love how Tip can say "Nobody Panic! I'm a psychologist!" and almost make you feel reassured. Almost.
Rick Shott (not_home) says:

I think Unity has the right response there.

(gamerbj) says: How long do you think it's going to be untill they figure out why Moustachio is all wound up?
Lady Asphodel (ladyasphodel) says:

I didn't want to have to do this, but this is war.

*clears throat*

Mustachio, why do you want to kill us?

(see: .)

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: One of the puppets has a rocket launcher.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh.
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: Mustachio has more mad scientist in him than I thought he would.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life", from "Dirty Dancing")

Now Moustachio has got
An entire parking lot
Of folks to slay ...
But there is no need to fear,
A psychologist is here
To save the day!

Hear the metal monster say,
"You wish, doubtless, to delay
My plan somehow .."
As Tip gets his puppets out,
We can hear the zombie shout,
"Please kill us now!"

Winding his spring,
A wee bit too much of!
Now what will this day bring?
This could get rough!

Because ...
He's planned the time of our death!
And he hasn't felt this way in years!
Now our fears ... have come true!
And we don't know what he'll do
To us!  Now, the time of our death
Is drawing close at hand!
He's planned ... to cause bodily harm ...
If he only had some arms!

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says: "Nobody Panic! I'm a psychologist!"   That means we can skip over the panic and go straight to the despair, right?
James Kehl (shykta) says:

You know, I think Mustachio might be going back to normal?

Half an hour ago, he knew what a Beni Device / Man-Portable Fusion Pie was, and how to connect it.

Now, he's trying to engage in a massacre using coal-lamp gas and duplication fluid. OK, so Annex One is a government building, whose Black Ops budget is likely never in the black, but I would seriously doubt they still *have* any lighting gas or duplication fluid...

John Sears (john_sears) says: The old war, the war between Man and Machine.  And now, sapient dogs and Zombies.  I'd say it's between organic and inorganic life, but Moustachio uses wax cylinders, so he's sort of dependent on bees or palm trees or what not.
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: I knew it! It's the little gay robot's fault!
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Unity being hungry is always relevant.
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says: At least some one is happy. :)
Prodigal (prodigal) says: Even with one of the dreaded Therapy Puppets on their tails, the cobras are still so damn adorable. Eee!
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: John: No, it's revenant.
Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says: So the Lurch for the Cure is to raise revenant revnue?
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Wait, what?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

As Groucho Marx might say, "I once got irrelevant in my pajamas ..." 

(TUNE: "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", The Beatles)

In the parking lot,
Sweetheart cannot call Gavotte!
Wi-fi link is out!
Tip, he cannot shout
At Mou-sta-chi-o, oh oh oh!

Doors are locked in back;
Unity, she needs a snack;
Puppets on our tail!
Blond guy's full of fail
'Cause he gambles so, oh oh oh!

And when the robot tells us he's gay,
Then Sweetheart has to say,

"No, no!  People, kindly focus!
Don't stand there and rant!
No, no!  People, it's no joke, as
It's not relevant!"

Steve Ford (fordsfords) says: Why did Wednesday's strike me as so funny?  I love it!
Daniel Baye (pooga) says:

Any strip where a baby cobra gets a line is instantly funny. For some reason, I always hear them speaking in a voice that's almost but not quite Ralph Wiggum.

John Campbell (jcampbel) says: I just realized that I should have said, "Unity being hungry is always relevant, to anyone with any brains."
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(TUNE: "There Is A War", Leonard Cohen)

There is a war between machine and man
War within the Shadow Government
There is a war between the ones who say there is a Shadow Government
And the ones who are in it

There is a war between Supplies and Maintenance
War between the Copiers and the Clerks
There is a war between the Steampunk Secretaries
And the Mechanical Turks

Why don't you come on back to the war?
We're out in the parking lot!
Why don't you come on back to the war?
I think someone might get shot!

Now I live here with a zombie, dog and bees
The situation makes me kind of nervous
She nibbles on my brains, she says
"I guess you call this therapy, but don't bring out the puppets"

Why don't you come on back to the war?
This time it's Moustachio!
Why don't you come on back to the war?
He's gone nuts. Pistachio?

You cannot stand what I've become
You much prefer the metal man I was before
I was so easy to rewind, I was so easy to control
I needed a reinforced concrete floor

Why don't you come on back to the war?
We've got Dr Lee!
Why don't you come on back to the war?
It's gonna be crazy!

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says: Some small part of me wonders if Vlad and Konstantin will show up again to help deal with this mess.  We haven't seen them since Sweetheart's rampage, after all!
clark brooks (czark) says: mmmmm fusion delicious fusion
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: Tell us about the pie, Unity....
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Rock This Town", Stray Cats)

Well, Moustachio's key was wound a bit too much ...
Now he's locked us out of the building, can't get in touch!
Oh, Unity, why
Did you give him that pie?
Well the pie is a lie! He's gonna try 'til we die!
He's gonna wreak old-time destruction, or some such!

He's gonna wreck this place, wreck it upside down!
He's gonna take your face, baby, make it frown!
He's gonna wreck ... wreck ... wreck wreck wreck!
He's gonna unleash heck!  We better run to Quebec!
He's gonna wreck this place, put us in the ground!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: THE PIE IS A LIE
Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: And before you ask: The cake is a fake.
Philip Cohen (treesong2) says:

Two things I wonder:

When Moustachio exulted over 'my very own target-rich environment', why didn't everyone but a few responsible types head for the hills immediately?

And I can understand Moustachio's Courier typeface as representing a robotic voice, and the current jaggies as showing the effects of a not-very-clear loudspeaker system, but I never could figure out the swirly talk balloons of his indoor voice. Do they have a sonic equivalent or are they just to show that he's gone loopy?

Incidentally, I thought 'may as well dismantle the protocol binders and make silly hats' was another great Moustachio line. Seems like his prevarication module is growing rapidly more sophisticated.
Kathy Moon (flipkat) says: I think that "click" was the sound of his prevarication module switching targets.
Rachel S. (masamage) says: That is a great punchline.
Nick Kosovich (zombieskull88) says: Ed, once again you have won the internet.
Kenneth Graves (kag) says: He's armless, but not 'armless.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Philip: As I hope you can see from the backgrounds in this week of strips, everyone is trapped in the building. I apologize for not making this clearer before people started writing songs about it, but they're not out in the parking lot! I swear!
John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Departmental territory fight! Moustachio's fusion pie is cutting into the D of I's jurisdiction.
Terry Smith (wcfan) says: 'course, that fact that they stored the nuke right beside the monster is suspect - I mean, they keep his legs in a vault somewhere....
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Oh cr*p.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Shaenon>> I apologize for not making this clearer before people started writing songs about it, but they're not out in the parking lot! I swear!

Sorry 'bout that.  Bad on me.

(TUNE: "Signs", Five Man Electrical Band)

Well, the pie said, "Property of
The Navy, do not touch!"
So I ripped the box right out of the wall,
I didn't think it mattered much ...
Seemed kinda weighty for plain ol' pastry;
Didn't have that fresh-baked smell ...
Then Moustachio said, "Dear thing that's dead,
It's time for raisin' hell!"

Pie, pie!  Benny made a pie!
Is his name spelled with a "Y" or an "I"?
I don't know, but so,
Can I eat the pie?

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: BTW,
Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says: DoI to the rescue!
Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says: Oh no, wait a minute, they're supposed to irradiate things, not keep them from being irradiated. Uh oh.
Jacob Haller (jwgh) says: This keeps making me think of the lyric "You'll get pie in the sky when you die. (That's a lie.)"
Rob (rrreed) says: @Terry—I agree. What would Project Skin Horse be doing with a nuclear bomb, anyway? Unless it's a sapient bomb, à la Bomb #20 in Dark Star, in which case there's probably a really good reason for keeping it in a safe and incommunicado.

@Dave—I've been gnawing on that reference for two weeks, now. With Marcie's statement today of the Beni box being a nuke, I have to conclude that it's not necessarily a nuclear explosive.
clark brooks (czark) says:

"man portable fusion reac... wait... it is a pie."

I'm putting my money on self-winding, with benefits.

Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says: Thanks for that link DVD. I think my favorite part is that Beni helped develop and index to evaluate the validity of fuzzy clustering. You don't get much more California than that.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "My Sharona", The Knack)

See the wee Be-ni device ... not too nice!
This is a reactor for micro-fusion!
Now the metal man has got ... a deadly plot!
Sound alarms and causing such high confusion!

Now Moustachio,
Watch him go!
He'll do anything!
Got a broken spring,
Slipped a cam,
Now he's ram-pa-ging!
My oh my oh micro!

Rob (rrreed) says: ARRRRGH! What a terrible pun, Shaenon and Jeff! Beni, of The Box of Robbers! I should have known it was an L. Frank Baum reference of some sort.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ah. I should have known... but I didn't! :)
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Well, nothing for it but to pull a classic Kirk maneuver and posit him a logical paradox to freeze up his brain before he can set off the bomb. ...or is that pulling a WarGames?
John Sears (john_sears) says:

I think we can give Kirk the credit, as he did it first, at least by our chronology/publication history.

Plus they're slightly different things.  A Kirk Paradox causes the AI to kill itself due to having failed its mission, whereas a WarGames Scenario serves to teach an AI an Important Lesson About Humanity, which may result in everyone playing a nice game of chess instead.

Kristine Roland (kristineroland) says:

As such, Tip is much more likely to pull a wargames maneuver as he would not want to kill Mustacheo in the process.



Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says: Question: What if there is an encrypted lockout on the controls of the device. Yes its encryption from the 1950's, but Moustachio is from the 1850s. I wonder how long it would take him to crack the code?
Rob (rrreed) says: @Benjamin–good question, and one we can't accurately speculate upon. Mad science does not necessarily obey the laws of conventional science!
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: If only Bertrand Russell had succeeded at his Principia Mathematica, Kirk would have been SOL.
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile