Shaenon K. Garrity's Comics   || Online Comics · RSS · Creator Profile · Join Mailing List ·
Smithson Thus Far... ·

Grant McCormick (grantcmccormick) says:

Well, we already established that he's dangerous.


Now he's armed.


Rob (rrreed) says: Good grief, Dr. Jones has created Giant-Sized Tom Servo with Kung-Fu Grip®! WE'RE DOOMED!
Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

So now Mustashio can participate in a short arm inspection with Tip...

[rim shot]

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Uh-oh.
Just Here (justhere4coffee) says:

I love how Unity's pigtails are as expressive as Sweetheart's ears... It really shows just how feral she is.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Armed And Dangerous", Anthrax)

Stuck at a desk now, like tigers in the zoo!
Well you've been stripped of your freedom,
And your legs too!
You'd like to rampage!  Would if you could!
Just sit back and chill now, my metal friend;
I'll make you feel good!
Yeah, so good!
Ve-ry good!

Now Tip can't resist her,
And Unity's charmed!
Well, tough Tita, sister!
'Cause M is now armed!

Steel ... body extreme!
Copper ... pipes full o' steam!
Genius ... it runs in my blood!
Gracious!  Goodness me!  Oh my crud!

Birthed me a vision today now!
A vision of metal and springs!
We'll smash anything in our way now!
(As long as they're very small things ...)

Are you diggin' us?
Ohhhh, are you diggin' us?

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: "She Blinded Me With Science", Thomas Dolby)

In funkalicious motion
She welded little hands to me
With full articulation
And brass grommets for symmetry
Mmm but she gifted me with elbows!
"She gifted me - with elbows!"
And re-armed me with irony

When I'm being buffed by her
"She gifted me - with elbows!"
I can smell the polyester
"She gifted me - with elbows!"

"Good heavens Miss Tigerlily - you're beautiful!"

Bill McGann (odo) says:

Let's give Mustashio a hand

(OK, that was lame)

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

*insert obligatory "hand job" joke here*

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

Moustachio is a robot of enormous magnitude!  He has our gratitude!  Let's all give Moustachio a great big hand! ...Damn.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@evilmidnightlurker: "extraordinary" magnitude ... oh, for the days of politically incorrect humor.

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

Get a grip, people — there's no need to get touchy about it.

Although, off the cuff, I will say I'm sure Dr. Jones has something underhanded up her sleeve, but I can't quite put my finger on it...

John Breckenridge (jbrecken) says:

It's Moustachiosaurus Rex!

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: I like the madspeak.
Paul Gadzikowski (pgadzikowski) says:

So Mustachio used to be armless, but now he's just mostly armless.

Rob (rrreed) says: @Paul — Goodbye, Paul, and thanks for all the fish.
John Brown (werbluten) says:

Hmm... Those arms remind me of crash-test dummy arms.

Rob (rrreed) says: Hmmm… Dr. Jones's comment makes me think that some sort of scale needs to be developed for mad intellect. If Dr. Tigerlily Jones, a proven mad engineer with a passion for robots and automatons, can't understand Moustachio's (purely?) mechanical balance and locomotion system, that would indicate that Moustachio's creator was a bit higher on the mad intellect scale than she is. And it would have to be logarithmic to take into account those occasionally (almost) successful uni- or multiverse destroyers.

The madness of the mad scientists'/engineers' creations, however, would be rated separately, given that the sentient ones are wont to have the morals and understanding of consequences their creators lacked.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Rob: It could just mean s/he was more insane.
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

There are probaly three scales that apply

  1. Genius
  2. Madness
  3. Evil

The Doctor would probably score highest on Genius, but Davros maxes out the scales for Madness and Evil. Evil enough to create the Daleks. Mad enough to think it was a good idea. Even after they'd killed him.

(New season of Doctor Who just kicked off in the UK)

Rob (rrreed) says: @Pete — I think you're on to something there!

Victor Frankenstein's GEM (Genius, Evil, Madness) score would be:
  • Genius: fairly high (brought life to the dead).
  • Evil: very low (it's not like he meant for his creation to run amuck)
  • Madness: somewhere in the middle (depending on the source material).
Dr. Virginia Lee
  • Genius: pretty average, based on what we've seen so far.
  • Evil: low (she keeps questioning her line of employment!).
  • Madness: very low, but aspires to be higher (which is kind of self-defeating, if you think about it).
Captain Bram:
  • Genius: middle to high (significant, original research into chimeric genetics and the origins of organic intelligence).
  • Evil: middle (conquer the U.S., and thus the American Kennel Club by proxy).
  • Madness: middle to high (make the objective more difficult by turning the target population into werewolves!?)
Rob (rrreed) says: @Shaenon — I thought Moustachio's creator was, "…really a corking fellow," indicating it was a he, especially given Victorian sensibilities? Or does Moustachio have difficulty distinguishing between the sexes?
Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

with enough Madness, you can make anything work. need a laser and only have some tinfoil, a comb and some wood-chips? if your mad enough, thats all you need.

the problem with the extreme ends of Madness is that while it might work, its probley not going to be long lasting. or anywhere near understadable for anyone but you (or MABYE someone equally mad as you) to fix it.

and there is a problem with rating people on their evilness, as we have seen Elsewhere, there ARE Good Mad Scientists. and good and evil are generally pretty much a society label.

Perhaps as oposed to evil (or good) one could use Conviction as a third atribute? one's willingness to see an experement through to the end (or at least how far the scientist is willing to go).

slight point of order: Victor FrankenSteen didn't bring life to the dead. He created life FROM the dead. the former infers some kinda ressurection or dealing with ghosts or something, while the latter is about crafting new life from dead flesh.

Rob (rrreed) says: Actually, I think some tinfoil, a comb, and some wood-chips are enough to build a laser. The real trick is generating enough heat and pressure to create a diamond properly doped for lasing from the wood-chips without blowing yourself up in the process. Then you just grind the crystal to create the necessary Brewster's angles (using the comb as a measure), half-silver the ground ends with the tin foil, and viola, a laser.

Now I just need a better energy source to pump the crystal with. Generating static electricity with the comb is not going to create a beam capable of cutting through steel plate…
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

I once had an idea for a mad-science roleplaying mechanic, where each character had a Genius score and a Madness score for each of several possible scientific disciplines. If you had Genius 10 and and Madness 0 in electronics, you could do anything the most brillliant sane electronic engineer in the world could do, but nothing beyond that. However, if you had Genius 10 and Madness 10 in electronics, you could create a sentient supercomputer out of old radio parts, but under no circumstances should you try to wire a three-pin plug.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I Got Rhythm", George Gershwin)

I got Genius!
I got Evil!
I got Madness!
No one knows what I'm gonna do!

I got Crazy!
I got IQ!
I got Badness!
And I'm gonna use 'em on you!

It's no fun for
Victims done for!
Better run, or
You'll die too!

I got Vicious!
I got Weirdness!
I got Smartness!
No one knows what I'm gonna do!
Even I don't know what I'll do!

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

I love M's little T-Rex arms. There's gotta be a song about "Lit-tle Arms!" to the tune of the Roustabouts song from Dumbo.

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

Actually, in the original Book, Frankenstein rejected and abused his monster, which was most of why it ran amuck.  But the evil involved there was, alas, pretty human-scale....


Woof Arf (woofnarf) says:

Imagine how the mad scientist fandom would react to the accomplishments of mad scientists if the GEM scale were to be universally accepted.

I mean, geez, the fan boys and girls comments and professional commentators and smack talk from fellow mad scientists would be wonderful

If we try, we could make the world of Dr. Horrible a reality.

Glenn Gorsuch (glenn) says:

Is anyone else here nerdy enough to see these three scales in their heads as the axes of a graph?  Throw in a time component (Genius, Madness, and, oh, say call it Morality) over time for nifty animated effects?  Note the sinusoidal 28-day pattern on the madness axis...

Rob (rrreed) says: Dr. Horrible. Let's see...
  • Genius: low (the freeze ray did work — eventually).
  • Evil: low at the beginning, but trending upwards toward the end.
  • Madness: low at the beginning, but trending upwards toward the end.
Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Glenn, Pete already mentioned the third axis. I can't see how representing it of time leads to any better understanding (names popping on and off as we slide up/down the evilness/morality scale). How about a bubble graph? (A point is a circle and the third axis is the diameter of that circle)

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

M keeps looking toward his arms but I don't think he can see them, they are probably over the horizon, like some people's feet. :)

Rob (rrreed) says:

Proposed GEM Scale
0. Societal "normal"
1. City altering
2. Nation/continent altering
3. Planet altering
4. Solar system altering
5. Solar neighborhood altering
6. Galaxy altering
7. Local group altering
8. Supercluster altering
9. Universe (Brane) altering
10. Multiverse (Bulk) altering

This is intended to be a logarithmic scale. Note that rank is by area/volume of effect, not temporal range, since major temporal shifts in the local environment may have no noticable objective effects — or even cancel out — beyond the affected society or environmental system.
Rob (rrreed) says: On this scale, most "mads" wouldn't rank much higher than a 3 in any characteristic. This is intentional, as it leaves room for the occasional mad whose genius, evil, and madness truly know few bounds, e.g., the Master and Davros (Dr. Who), Dr. Doom (Marvel Comics), Lex Luthor (DC Comics), etc.
John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

I think that means [REDACTED] from Narbonic scores 10s across the board, as illustrated by the invention of a time machine fueled by the annihilation of universes.

Rob (rrreed) says: I think it depends on whether or not the universes used as fuel are ones that anyone would miss, say by any inhabitants of said universes? Or are the ones used just lifeless collections of space-time, energy and matter due to the local laws of physics?

Time travel makes for such messy bookkeeping...
John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

Well, they're described by a certain blonde as "universes where they probably don't want to exist as much". But I doubt they actually polled anyone on the question...

Rob (rrreed) says: Well, I'd certainly say that [REDACTED] scores G:9 and M:9, maybe even 9.1 for that, but since annihilating the individual universes in question isn't so much an end as a means, it shouldn't have much effect on [REDACTED]'s E score. Evil's more a matter of intent, I think, hence I agree with breaking it out separately from Madness.
larry harpring (hyrral7734) says:

Maybe M was built by Victorian-era Dave

Kate Cunningham (katfairy) says:

It's a sad day when the Victorian metal man is the quickest on the uptake.

Been There Done That (btdt) says:

But surely the Victorian metal man has to be quicker on the uptake than a corpse!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Hmmm.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Once In A Lifetime", Talking Heads)

You can tell your friend ... "Okay, cool, gimme five!"
And you can tell your friend ... "Now once again up high!"
And you can tell your friend ... "Down low!  Too slow!"
And you can tell your friend ... "You can't box with God!"
And your friend can reply ... "What did that young lady say?"

Letting the crazy by!  Let her walk right out the door!
Letting the crazy by!  You're not watching anymore!
Into the world again!  She'll wreak havok, then some more!
Baby, it's go time!  So she's gonna go explore ...

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

Exit, stage left. Minus the bear(for now).

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Which bear? This bear?

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

Oh, Sweetheart, what were you thinking?  At least Tip would have noticed she left, though he'd have probably gone 'with' her!

As for Unity, I swear she just kills me!  Um.., though actually, if you think about it, she probably 'would' if she got the chance...

John Brown (werbluten) says:

Aww... I was hoping for the clever names to be revealed.

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

...She's a female Tip. o.O;

Which means that their getting together would probably be a sign of the (or an) Apocalypse.

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: Dear God... just think of what their *offspring* would be like.
Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

FABULOUS!  Their offspring would be totally fab!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: A female Tip?

Hmmmm. I see..... possibilities here.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Venus", Shocking Blue)

Something evil comes this way!
I can feel it in my bones!
Pretty sure we'll die today!
It's Tigerlily Jones!

She's got it!  Yeah baby, she's got it!
Tigerlily, lovely blossom!
She's super-awesome!

Now they're gonna rue the day
When they laughed at her, those fools!
Now she's gonna make them pay,
'Cause Tigerlily rules!

She's got you!  Yeah baby, she's got you!
Tigerlily, deadly flower!
You're in her power!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Strictly speaking, she hasn't escaped yet....
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

First she needs to tie up the fuzz.... ;-)

N B (daveclone7) says:

@John Brown: Could be he calls them 'dumplings'.  To his credit, 'perogi' sounds far more macho.

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:

@N B: Good try, but in actuality, we are merely getting a glimpse of the motivation for the aforementioned fistfight.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@Ed: Awesome filk, as usual.  Did you know you're mentioned by NAME on the TV Tropes 'Filk Song' page?  And the 'Skin Horse' page?

Only problem: now I can't get that damn song out of my head.  Curse you!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Biceps, Triceps, nothing stops the Lily.

Sean Kinlin (seaking) says:

For some reason, I find the line "Yes, is fuzz!" extremely hilarious.

Kate Cunningham (katfairy) says:

I officially love the new arms.

Justin Grubbs (jjgrubbs) says:

Rule number one: all new technological marvels immediately lead to slapstick.

Zander MacDonald (zander) says:

Didn't take long for that to happen.

Mike Kozar (mikekozar) says:

"Arms RULE."

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: "Smooth Criminal", Michael Jackson)

She came in - strapped on a gurney
There was a sax riff - maybe some Journey
She schooled Tip - in retro fashion
His power failed - sparks were flashing
She's a hot chick - she's a cool cat
She's got fast moves - with that toolkit
She's a superbad - steamfunk mommy
And they left her there - with the zombie

Unity's not ok! Unity's not ok! Are you okay Unity?
Unity's not ok! Unity's not ok! Are you okay Unity?
Unity's not ok! Unity's not ok! Are you okay Unity?

She's just let slip
She's just let slip

A fashion criminal!

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Saturday, June 14, 2003:

(in other words, scroll to the bottom of the page. Of course, you need to know the "Doppelganger" arc to get the reference)

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ha-HAAAAAAA!
maggie d (sophistre) says:

I believe there's a different one that contains almost the verbatim quote...from the same storyline, pre-escape pod. Dave almost blabs something and Artie gets to cover his mouth. I would search for it, but... >.> I am...lazy.

John Brown (werbluten) says:

How long must he have been wanting to do that?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Born In The USA", Bruce Springsteen)

Big M, got new arms so phat!
"Miss Unity, who was that?"
Just a dangerous criminal
That went walking off down the hall!

Now he'll ...
Slap ... her upside the head!
Slap ... her upside the head!
Slap-ping the fool undead!
Slap ... her upside the head!

We see Unity realize,
There's an "oh s**t" in her eyes!
It's Moustachio, For The Win,
Handing out ... some discipline!

Gonna ...
Slap ... her upside the head!
Slap ... her upside the head!
Slap-ping the fool undead!
Slap ... her upside the head!

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 And once again, M. proves he is superior to these new-fangled creations.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: And like Artie, it doesn't take long for him to abuse his new power.
Amy Fiori (amy82986) says:

@maggie:  I think the strip you mean is the fifth one from this week.

Although the second one here is also appropriate.

Hands really do rule.  I tell that to my cats all the time, but they don't believe me.

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

@ Amy Fiori: Of *course* they don't believe you. You may have the hands, but you're also the one who opens the can(s) to give them their food. (They've trained you so well!) So, who "rules" now?

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

OOPS!  Who'd have thought 'Unity' would forget?!?

But hey, Unity can think on her feet.  Remember when Sweetheart got arrested and sent to the animal shelter?  She'll fix this, if she can just find a pick-ax! 

Unity to the Rescue!!!

Kaitlyn Bahn (caspianseamonster) says:


Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: She blinded ME with SCIENCE!
Corgi (corgi) says:

[cues Isaac Hayes]

She's a complicated woman.

John Brown (werbluten) says:

I'm wondering where Doc Jones got those different voice fonts.

Rob (rrreed) says: I'm more concerned about the gizmo she has sitting on the table in front of her in panel 1. After all, she does mention something about "testification"!

And from that poster in the background of panel 1, it looks like she's in a Seattle's Best Coffee cafe or franchise shop.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: Theme from "Shaft", Isaac Hayes)

Who's the greatest gal alive,
With the spring-power'd funky jive?
 ... JONES!

Who's the deadly disco queen,
Fixing up your death machine?
 ... JONES!

Who's the funky fairest flower
With her sexy superpower?
 ... JONES!

You know that Tigerlily is a real smart-as(KEEP IT DOWN!)
But I'm talkin' 'bout SCIENCE!
(We can dig it.)

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: Fatboy Slim, "Funk Soul Brother")

Right 'bout now
Steam funk sister
Check her out now
Steam funk sister
Sci-sci-sci-sci-sci-sci spring jive science!
Right about now
Steam funk sister
Check her out now
Steam funk sister
Spring jive science spring jive science
Spring jive science spring jive science
Spring jive science spring jive science
Spring jive science spring jive science

Riiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhtttttt aaaaaaabbbbbbbooooooouuuuuuutttttttt nnnnnnnooooooowww
Steeeeeeaaaam funk sister!

Rob (rrreed) says: @Owl Who says South — You ever string a joke along, only to discover later that reality has actually surpassed the joke?

Diamond Raman Lasers
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Neat.
Rockphed (rockphed) says:

Let's give her a big AMEN!  Praise your diabolical mad-woman-skills that your momma gave you!

And now can I get a rousing chorus of something rousing!

Rob (rrreed) says:

<Irving Cohen voice>
"Give me a C, a bouncy C!"
</Irving Cohen voice>
Q. Pheevr (q-pheevr) says:

@Rob: Unless I'm very much mistaken, the coffee shop poster is a Pippi Longstocking reference.

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: I'd vote for her.
Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says:

Best evil laugh EVER!

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Either the coffee shop people are really perceptive at how to answer to customers like Tigerlilly, or they're providing the answer to the question she asked on Monday's strip

Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

...that was the single greatest mad scientist moment ever.  That last panel should be framed in the lab of every scientist on the planet who has ever created something that might accidentally destroy the world.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

So, i should see the poster at the CERN labs in Switzerland/France by Monday, right? And what French for funkdelicious?

K C (spotweld) says:

Can this be made into a wall paper somehow?

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

@ampersand: Puant-délicieux, but calling someone "puant" is rather unflattering, especially if they take you to be referring to one of its other meanings.

Rob (rrreed) says: @Q. Pheevr — I stand corrected (nice Easter Egg there, Shaenon!). Villekulla does look a bit like VanillaKula, a Seattle's Best cold drink, though.
Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

@Rob - Yes i have, on ocasion. it can make it all the more funny. and sometimes disturbing.

youand8 youand8 (youand8) says: in the table escapement small seconds fake cartier cartier lady watch fake omega omega 007 fake breitling breitling chronometer fake rolex watches for sale rolex chronograph watches replica replica watches allows customers to fake tag heuer tag heuer discount.
lover11 lover11 (lover11) says: the glare treatment Threaded inserts in fake watches ETA 2824 2 Automatic movement functions replica tag heuer tag heuer repairs replica omega watches antique omega watches replica cartier watches for sale cartier sale replica rolex watches rolex watch price replica breitling breitling aerospace titanium.
bybyop bybyop (bybyop) says: stimulate business confidence expired the previous automatic watches graham According to officials the footage handed to the Diet buy watches.
bybyop bybyop (bybyop) says: Replica Breitling Watches watches replica Replica Rolex Watches expensive watches
lover11 lover11 (lover11) says: assioma d watches watches replica autumn rai News Copy Breitling Breitling replica Imitation Cartier watches Cartier replica worth twice taught josie Omega Imitation Omega watches Rolex Rolex watches Indiana patrimony watches Tag Heuer replica Copy Tag Heuer.
lover11 lover11 (lover11) says: wow gold ore wow gold wow for free wow power leveling wow gold seller.
Add a Comment:
Log In or Register to post a comment! It's free!

Tooncast this comic on your own website by copying and pasting this code snippet:
<script language="javascript" src=""></script>
Shaenon Garrity ||    Forum ·  External Homepage ·  Blog · 

The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile