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107 comments:
Sam Setter (eraser820) says:

Am I the only one who when reading the machines say "Solidarity" heard it broken into seperate clipped syllables like how Daleks talk? SOL I DAR I TY!

John Wells (johnwwells) says:

("Consider Yourself", Oliver!)

She's technically not
My boss!
I'm technically not
Here on a salary!
Moustachio here can vouch
My pay-grade 'better befits a couch!'

I'm technically just
Their stuff!
I'm technically just
Part of the furniture!
They don't have the cash to spare.
Unfair? What? Technically, I'm a chair!

Like a credenza she
Ordered from Ikea, Lee
Made me
really
From parts!
And now I hope my plea
For Unity immunity
Warms your crazy robot hearts!

You think that I'm just
The Man!
You think that I'm not
Your crew...
But since I'm an agglomeration, I'm your fan,
And technically I'm
One of you!

John Sears (john_sears) says:

Ex-ter-mi-nate the scabs!

 

Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

Not bad timing for people on the far side of the Atlantic - Victory of the Daleks screened over here on Saturday.

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

Solidarity, baby! Workers of the world, unite!

 

(special thanks to mr. grosser)

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@johnwwells:  Very well done!

(TUNE: "Take A Bow", Madonna)

Lock the doors, and stack the tables,
Hold them off while we are able ...
Door is barred, the shades are drawn,
We're locked in here!
(We're locked in here, there is no need to fear)

The machines out-side can't get us,
Just the ones locked in here!
I don't mean to be rude (don't be rude)
These machines, lookin' mean ...
I think we're screwed!
(I must conclude I think we're really screwed)

They're chanting so-li-da-ri-ty!
They're here to wipe out you and me!
A little tactical mistake we made,
We built that sturdy barricade ...
Po-orly played, I'm afraid!

Skylar Ekamper (coranas) says:

I want a good "SOLIDARITY" as my ringtone for some reason.

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

Oh just turn off the breaker you guys. If they hate you so much, let them find their own electricity.

John Brown (werbluten) says:

Why does this scene remind me of several zombie movies?

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

I suppose they could promote solidarity by dumping all the office equipment into a trash compactor.

John Sears (john_sears) says:

The trash compactor's probably part of the Union though.  You'd need a Pinkerton trash compactor.

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

The trash compactor's probably part of the Union though.  You'd need a Pinkerton trash compactor.

What do you think happened to Jimmy Hoffa?

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

What do you think happened to Jimmy Hoffa?

Oh man, I've got lists and lists. But I'm pretty sure he's in Warehouse 23.

Mason Kramer (masonk) says:

John Brown: Why does this scene remind me of several zombie movies?

Because there's a zombie in three-fourths of the panels?

Rob (rrreed) says: I suspect the funky, funky hand of Tigerlily Jones in this sudden animation of objects without force effectors.
John Sears (john_sears) says:

It would deal a striking blow against The Man, who is so dependent upon His office-based hegemony.

Truly there is nothing less funky than a cubicle farm.

John Sears (john_sears) says:

Adding that, I know they don't technically have one at Skin Horse, but once the staplers have risen up, is any cubicle safe? I think not.

Rockphed (rockphed) says:

I keep my stapler locked in a drawer.  I fear not its ire.

KaT Adams (kat_adams) says:

Poor sweetheart! Feel for her and wish to hug her nose!

K. Williams (crazy_quill) says:

(To the tune of "Drunken Sailor")

What can they do to us really, now?
Hey, what can they do to us really, now?
Yeah, what can they do to us really, now?
They're just office supplies - Argh!

Bit me on the nose with a staple gun,
They bit me on the nose with a staple gun,
They bit me on the nose with a staple gun!
Those mad office supplies!

Sol-i-dar-i-ty!
Sol-i-dar-i-ty!
Sol-i-dar-i-ty!
Those mad office supplies!

Gotta get away from the furniture
We've gotta get away from the furniture
We've shut ourselves in here with the furniture,
And mad office supplies!

Sol-i-dar-i-ty!
Sol-i-dar-i-ty!
Sol-i-dar-i-ty! Those mad office supplies!

Going one-on-one with a Blackberry
She's going one-on-on with a Blackberry
There's gonna be a fight, it's Unity
V. mad office supplies.

(And so on...)

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

Why is it OK for unions to be violent, but not non-union workers? Were I to do something like that I'd go to jail.

Poor Sweetheart.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "End Of The World As We Know It", REM)

It was just last week, saw Moustachio freak!
Power surge, gonna purge, statisfy his killin' urge!
Gonna wreck the whole town!  Overheated, shut down!
Tried to call the union, couldn't come soon, man!
Here comes Dr. Jones!  Tip wants to jump her bones!
Funky queen of disco, gonna fix Moustachio
Union started crabbin', 'cause we brought a scab in!
Now they're on a killing spree, swearing solidarity!
Tougher than you might suppose, got a stapler in the nose,
Ho- ... ly ... crud!

It's the union machines, they're revolting!
  (I'mo punch a Blackberry ...)
It's the union machines, they're revolting!
  (I'mo punch a Blackberry ...)
It's the union machines, they're revolting!
  (I'mo punch a Blackberry ...)
Call for help!

Harris Bias (polychrome) says: Ouch, getting a staple in the nose has gotta hurt.
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: "Sailor", Petula Clark)

Stapler, stop your striking
Stapler, don't staple me
Stapler, if you keep biting
You'll be stationary

And you other dumb machines
Don't forget that rock beats scissors
I can teach you all some sense
Through percussive maintenance

Would you like to know how fast
A Blackberry can crumble?
I think it's data entry time
Let's punch some lines.

Been There Done That (btdt) says:

Huh... machine stapler.  I guess Skin Horse has a little more money than they made it seem.  Or maybe that's the reason why Unity has to be classified as furniture... Gavotte has been busy spending all their money on things like electronic staplers.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Am picturing Tip up on a chair in the classic pose as mice (computer mice) swarm over the floor below him.

 

"Tape dispensers ... why did it have to be tape dispensers?"

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:

@BTDT: Well, it's either $30 for an electric stapler or a worker's comp claim from Tip for carpal tunnel syndrome.  An awful lot of stapling goes on at Project Skin Horse.  Sometimes they staple things that don't even strictly need to be stapled, just because they can.

Glenn Gorsuch (glenn) says:

Hey BTDT, in any given government job, the paperwork is going to proliferate until you HAVE to invest in electric staplers--manual ones just can't handle the sheer amount of paper we can generate.  it's simple a matter of necessity.

And don't pity the "poor rates" for office furniture.  I shudder to think how much our county just spent on chairs and tables for the two-month training thing we're in now, instead of simply using what we already had. 

Rob (rrreed) says: @Jeff — Does this mean that there's a Department of Stapling somewhere in Annex One? Possibly down the hall from the Department of Irradiation?

"The Department of Stapling. Because we can."
Ciara Cole (ciara) says:

But are they red Swingline staplers?

Paul Lenoue (palenoue) says:

Will the Reniassance Silverfish come to the rescue?  They have experience herding office supplies.

Rob (rrreed) says: I have a machine-translated the proposed motto for the Department of Stapling into a Pretentious Latin Motto:

Iunctio. Quoniam nos es validus.
Diane Castle (deecee) says:

It's the horror of extremely good filk song!

@eddurd: another masterpiece... only now I can't stop humming along to that song.

@crazy_quill: evenworse than humming along to Ed's song, now I can't stop thinking about an old Wild wild West episode!  Aagh!

@natecull: the only thing that is saving me today, since I didn't like that song back when Petula sang it

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

I had a grumpy old chemistry teacher in high school who stapled his finger one day.  When he ran out of all the English curse words he knew, he started going through all the German ones he'd learned in the army! 

By the way, how do you take down a blackberry?  Yell, "Hey, it's an i-phone!"  Then, leg sweep!

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

Seriously, though, I think Unity could do some real damage to a bunch of uppity office machines.  They don't know what they're messing with! 

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Unity will have trouble with the machines! Most of them don't have legs!

Philip Cohen (treesong2) says:

@rrreed: Why not just 'Iunctio. Quoniam possumus.' Shorter and sweeter.

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

Less lame, as long as there's no Green Goblin truck. :)

Rob (rrreed) says:

THE GOGGLES! THEY DO NOTHING!
Rob (rrreed) says: @Philip — Because I don't know Latin and was using a machine translation program. O_o Iunctio Quoniam Possumus it is!
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Some pitch!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Let It Ride", Bachman-Turner Overdrive)

See machines revolting!  And they're attacking too!
Max, Max, Max Overdrive!
Better call up Nick now, and ask him what to do!
Max, Max, Max Overdrive!

I'll give you the facts
While this wired mouse attacks!
It's kinda lame just like Max-
Imum Overdrive!
See Marcie relax,
While Chris reads and has some snacks,
And they take cheap shots at Max-
Imum Overdrive!

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: "Accustomed To Her Face", My Fair Lady soundtrack)

 

Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

I'm being garrotted by a mouse.

I always knew the day would come.
I'm being slashdotted by a keyboard
I don't have time to be bored

A fluorescent light
Just joined the fight
It's going Tattooine on me
I'm crossing blades like Obi Wan

I thought I was unstoppable with my new filing technique
But the cabinet had the element of supplies -
I'm beat

I'm being clotted by the creamer
Robotted by a cleaner
Garrotted by a mouse

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Is someone being forced to make drawings of the copy machine's output tray? Sweet revenge!

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:

Apropos of nothing, please join me in wishing the beleaguered staff of Project Skin Horse a belated Happy Administrative Professionals Day.

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:

To clarify, it's only "belated" because I didn't do it right first thing this morning.  We're still technically on time!

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Shaenon and Jeffrey, you do realize that when you turn Skin Horse into published book form, you're going to have to find a way to include all of Ed and Nate's filk.  Right?

Oh, and Happy Administrative Professionals Day!  <STAPLE!>

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: @deecee: "When"? :)

Sadly, I think the issue of copyright and fair use would trip us up with this one. I know, one could trot out the Parody clause, but that's failed in the past, IIRC. Besides, it's not *our* work, really...
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Skin Horse totally exists in published book form!
Tom Powell (top1950) says:

So do those two EVER irradiate anything any more?  How are they going to keep populating the basement when all they do is play games with Nick..???

Then again, maybe the world is 'safer' when they're playing games with Nick? 

I hope tomorrow will show how Unity made out against the Blackberry.  I say, let the chips fall where they may!

Rob (rrreed) says: And Chris' goggles have suddenly vanished.
Adam (10-0-0-1) says: Well it is not like they do anything anyway
Camille Dumas (camidumas) says:

They probably vanished because Marcie is doing his hair.

Rob (rrreed) says: Ah, you're right. I thought Marcie was holding a second game controller in panel four.
Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

Take off, and nuke the site from orbit. Only way to be sure.

Rob (rrreed) says: But what if the nuke refuses to cross the picket line?
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Someday My Prince Will Come", Frank Churchill and Larry Morey)

Marcie plays Shadowrun ...
Here's what she would have done:
Make the worker who made those arms pay!
To the 'bots, throw her right in harm's way!

And once the scab has died,
Let's hope they're satisfied!
Yes, it's brutal, true ...
I like it, how 'bout you?
She learned it from Shadowrun!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Rob: That's why you use a dumb bomb.
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

So can Marcie's nerdiness effectively shield Chris from Tigerlily's SuperFunk?  Or will he be sporting a natural by this time next week?

Kathy Moon (flipkat) says:

Does introducing the goddess of machinery to an organization of machines strike anyone else as a particularly bad idea?

Rob (rrreed) says: @Dave — If the staplers have joined the machine union, that's going to have to be one incredibly dumb nuke. The ones falling into that category are often so stupid that they frequently forget that they can explode. Even when they do remember, they forget when they're supposed to explode.
Dominic Corbin (lnick) says:

flipkat, I have to say it sounded like a workable plan right up until your well reasoned objection. Clearly I need more points in Genre Savvy...
Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

take off and drop a kinetic kill wapon on the site from orbit. its the only way to be sure. just dont forget your slide-rule. or mabye abacus.

Grant McCormick (grantcmccormick) says:

Look for the Union Barcode!

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

At least the Soviets knew the right way to deal with picket lines and Unions. Machinegun fire and tanks.

No, I'm not kidding. The adults have work to do, the kiddies and their "union" can go play at the park if they want. Protesting is fine, thugery is not and should be met with overwelming force. Video taped and put on the web if possible.

Can you tell I'm not fan of Unions after repeatidly seeing them in action? No idea why anyone would willingly join one today. Unless they are lazy and want the job security.

Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

Playing Space Hulk inside a living vessel...does Nick object to the treatment and stereotyping of sentient machines within the Warhammer 40,000 universe?  With their only represenations being Necrons, Eldar wraithlords and wraithguard, and Imperial servitors (read: cloned cyborg worker bots) surely machine rights issues must imerge.

Well...they could also, I suppose, just say that since there's an entire cult of people who worship the Machine God that machines have their own divine place in the setting, and that's just fine...

...who ever thought I'd bring up the ethical ramifications of the treatment of sentient machinery by the Adeptus Mechanicus?

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

I think the reason why people join unions is that historically, management have been even worse bastards without them, especially in an economic recession. It's sort of a balance-of-bastardry kind of thing. My Godzilla fights your Mothra and maybe they'll both be too busy to stomp on me.

Not sure that that kind of tension works well at all, but Western market, political and legal systems are all based on that opposition of force principle too.

Oh, and also historically there was one major political movement with a manifesto saying 'hey, you know what, instead of this adversarial crap we should get Capital and Labour to sit down around the same table and just sort things out together like sensible people. Things'll run so much smoother then.'

That movement was fascism. Oops.

It gives the movie 'Metropolis' - which does the SF treatment of that whole unions-run-amok vs evil capitalists vs let's-just-kiss-and-make-up thing - an added twinge of irony when you know that the husband and wife team who made it were themselves torn apart over the rise of Nazism. Thea von Harbou joined the National Socialists in 1932, Fritz Lang divorced her and left for America in 1934.

Still a great movie though.

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

It's also of course wonderfully ironic that the Bolsheviks, whose slogan was 'All Power To The Soviets' (local workers' unions) took out those literal soviets as soon as they took power. So the Soviet Union kind of wasn't either.

 

 

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Tonight" from "West Side Story", Bernstein & Sondheim)

Unite!  Unite!
Machines we all invite!
You workers of the world can't refuse!

Unite!  Unite!
You know it feels alright,
Because naught but your chains can you lose!

Tonight,
On management we're beating,
Until they start retreating
And tell us they're contrite!

So feel their fright,
And come and join the fight
We'll incite ...
Unite!

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

I'm waiting for a Wobblie reference.

Ronnie Simonds (ronrab) says:

Unions are the same as any other human organization - subject to stupidity and corruption - but the US without unions was a place with child labor, men literally being worked to death, 'benefits' being a laughable idea, workers signing contracts committing their children to work for the company the rest of their lives, and so on.

You can get rid of unions as soon as you can trust corporations to not abuse their employees for the sake of profit. Anyone going to take that offer?

Jeff Sampson (studenteternal) says:

Having had a union save my job from a wrongful termination, F-U- ben!  When companies no longer institutionalize abuse, and make un-ethical and illegal policies, then you c an talk about union 'thuggery' 

 

And I have no words to describe my utter contempt for some one who feels machine guns are a appropriate response to picket lines.  Overwhelming force is oddly enough a very poor tool of conflict resolution.


Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

My absolute favorite part of this strip is Tip lion-taming a bunch of rabid staplers in a 50's music skirt - and losing.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

If the three-hole punch gets hold of his Vera Wang ... too horrible to contemplate.

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:

Keep it civil, folks.  :)

Christopher Pressley (fishbulb42) says:

@tiff_hudson - Ditto.

Christopher Boies (cboies) says:

I can't help but think that when somebody calls for the machine-gunning of tens of millions of Americans, and hundreds of millions of people worldwide, the discussion has already moved far beyond anything that can reasonably be described as "civil."

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Then maybe we need to not talk at all about real-life union-vs-companies issues until the entire arc is completed.

Maybe we could talk about Sherlock Holmes! No, wait, there's an antire Holmes novel about union-vs-company issues. Crud.

Brand Willis (brandyllyn) says:

Hey look y'all, kittens! Non-unionized kittens that should totally be talked about!

And I second the Tip lion-taming a pack of staplers is my new favorite moment in this strip.

Mike Kozar (mikekozar) says:

I like Chris willingly playing Marines in Space Hulk, and Marcie grinning because she just realized her boyfriend is a masochist.

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

Uh-oh!  No more gas for Nick! 

And I agree - let's keep this about a super comic and stay away from stinky politics. 

(Now look what you did, Jeff & Shaenon - you've stirred up a political debate!)  (That's actually pretty deep thinking for an Internet comic!!)

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Non-unionised kittens? I thought all felines already belonged to the Cat Union.

 

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

I can't help but think that when somebody calls for the machine-gunning of tens of millions of Americans, and hundreds of millions of people worldwide, the discussion has already moved far beyond anything that can reasonably be described as "civil."

Who said anything about machine gunning tens of millions of union workers? Red Herring logical fallacy anybody? I said Union thugs. If they want to get physical on non-union people, and their property, who want to go to a job that the Union thinks they are too good for, well they should expect to receive the same in return.

Protesting is one thing. Physical intimidation, physical harm, and destruction of property are another and in a "civil" society would not be tolerated.

It is telling that when you ask what good Unions do all people can list are things that happened a century ago. There are good reasons why the Unions have such a negative image and their membership is falling.

Norman Thallheimer (norman) says:

Stand back!  I'm going to try Psychology!

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

Yeah, but what's he gonna do now that he's caught her?

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

Yeah, but what's he gonna do now that he's caught her?

Test out some new bondage gear on her. Then experiment with different acessories.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Dag.
Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Test out some new bondage gear on her...

 

Somehow, I doubt that.  Tip's apt to be shy about bondage gear until he can forget the unfortunate handcuff incident with the lycanthropes... 

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Dag.
Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

This situation calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.

...Well, extreme something.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Actually, crosshair suggested using machine guns against unions, not union thugs. It's quite easy to look back up the page and check on what was actually said.

Let's stick to the comic.

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(With deep apologies to John Masefield)

Retrolicious Tigerlily, arming Moustachio
Guerilla fashionista with a cunning plan
And an iPod of Motown, disco, dance hits
Broadcasting funky wavelengths to the Man

Sweetheart of Skin Horse, outsourcing mad-sci
(Not such a good idea if the truth be told)
Under siege from agitated robot labour advocates
Trans-genetic war-dog with a heart of gold

Meter-parking chopper with a Union punch-card
Waiting out the picket with a jacked jump jet
And a cargo of fangirl, geek-boy, Shadowrun GM notes
Warhammer minis and a Space Hulk set

 

Rockphed (rockphed) says:

Dag, yo.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Who Let The Dogs Out", Baha Men)

CHORUS:
     Jones, put the clogs down!
     Dag, dag, dag, dag, dag!
        (repeat 4 times)

Didn't hire from the Union guys, though we tried to!
(Yap, no!  Boom pow!)
The machines are well and truly pissed!
(Yap, no!  Boom pow!)
Don't know where Tigerlily is? I do!
(Yap, no!  Boom pow!)
For I am a psy-cho-lo-gist!
And now the shrink is shouting ...

    (repeat CHORUS)

See, the Machine Union won't allow
What a naughty scab like you did!
Be-re-nice now!  Oh please now,
Step away from the clock-work ar-ach-nid!

Though the sight of you fills me with passion,
(Yap, no!  Boom pow!)
Though you make my blood pressure spike!
(Yap, no!  Boom pow!)
Got no time to browse 70's fashion!
(Yap, no!  Boom pow!)
Gotta work on breaking the strike!
And now the shrink is shouting ...

    (repeat CHORUS repeatedly ...)

Benjamin Whetham (crosshair) says:

Actually, crosshair suggested using machine guns against unions, not union thugs. It's quite easy to look back up the page and check on what was actually said.

Whatever, think what you want. Either way, the adults have work to do and the invisible hand has rightly biatchslapped the Unions for their greed and inefficiency.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Oh, he's good. (And how come it takes me two attempts to post anything here? Is it because I'm using Chrome?)

K. Williams (crazy_quill) says:

@ Andrew Kunz: I don't think so, because I'm also using Chrome and my posts appear first time.

Of course, I have to post twice because I keep forgetting to use HTML, and my paragraphsallruntoegther.

Drew (pseudowolf) says:

Test out some new bondage gear on her...

 

Somehow, I doubt that.  Tip's apt to be shy about bondage gear until he can forget the unfortunate handcuff incident with the lycanthropes...

 

Then again, he said that wasn't the first time he'd been handcuffed...

Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

To reiterate - Dag.

Paul K (mnementh) says:

Did she just call TIP a DAG ?!?!?

Hooo doggy... talk about choppin' a (DFoF) man off at the knees.

It's a good thing Tip doesn't hold a grudge.

mnem

Returning for my daily dose of brain fertilizer...

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

A dag? Are we speaking Kiwi?

"That bloke's a bit of a dag... a hard doer... he'll lead you up the garden path and keep you going till the cows come home... a real corker with a tractor though, give him a bit of number eight and she'll be right as Jake."

(Translation: This gentleman has an amusingly dry sense of humour with a propensity for practical jokes and tall tales which could waste your time if you took them too seriously, but he nevertheless has demonstrated engineering prowess in the area of creative field-maintenance of agricultural equipment.)

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

It could also be a kind of, dunno, exclamatory noise-- you know, like 'Aaargh!' or 'Aaack!'  I mean, people do say 'Dag Gummit!" (or supposedly they do; must state here and now that despite my Deep South upbringing, I've never actually heard anybody do that.  Gulf Coastal water sailors do indeed swear like, well, sailors. 'Dag' doesn't figure into it.)

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile