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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: So does Sweetdaddy Jupiter Velvet sound like Barry White in anyone else's head?
James Rice (jhrice) says:

Now that you mention it, yeah, he does sound like Barry White. 

John Brown (werbluten) says:

You must wonder what sort of 'Funky-Fresh' weaponry is installed within Sweetdaddy Jupiter Velvet.

Mason Kramer (masonk) says:

I'm sure whatever weaponry is installed, Tip can defeat it with psychology. Or a puppet. Or keen fashion sense.

Oh, what am I saying. Tip's doomed. Doooooooomed.

Corgi (corgi) says:

'Made a friend' is so literal around mad scientists....

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Sort of like Barry White crossed with a Dalek, yes...

Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Somehow, I can't picture "Exterminate!" in deep, smooth, chocolate a love song.

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: "Every Baby Needs A Da-Da-Daddy", Marilyn Monroe)

It was cold outside the vintage store, I was plotting a world of hurt
When up walked an Army psychologist in an Armani skirt
He took one look at my steampunk spider and asked me where it's at
I said his name is Sweetdaddy Jupiter Velvet - I made him from a Cadillac.

Every baby needs a clockwork arachnid to bring that funky jive
Every baby needs a clockwork arachnid to help her stay alive
Green and gold and purple too
If it hasn't got a Tesla coil a Tommy gun will do
But every baby needs a clockwork arachnid to stop her feeling blue

Every baby needs a clockwork arachnid with radar-seeking flak
Every baby needs a clockwork arachnid that recites Jack Kerouac
A sweet li'l killbot with a heart of steel
And recognition algorithms for sweet clothes deals
Every baby needs a clockwork arachnid to shop a week or two.

Every baby needs a clockwork arachnid in case the fuzz come round
Every baby needs a clockwork arachnid equipped with Infra-Sound
Cos this city really has gone to the dogs -
Have you seen the price of open-toed clogs?
So every baby needs a clockwork arachnid to blow the minds of squares like you.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Desperado", The Eagles)

Eldorado ...
Sweetdaddy Jupiter Velvet ...
You're as ugly as hell, but
A sight to see!
Woulda thought, though,
That you'd sound like Barry White now,
But your voice isn't quite how
I imagined it'd be.

If you shop for vintage clothing now,
Then Wilkin's gonna find you ...
The first place that he always looks is here ...
And if you want to show those fools
Who laughed at and maligned you,
A fearsome ride you've got to engineer!

Eldorado ...
Although you're twisted and clunky,
That paint job is funky,
Baby, lay it down!
Mama said so,
It's always green for the money,
And gold for the honey!
To the bone, downtown!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Considering they've just made Daleks in a rainbow of colours, there probably is a Dalek in a dark chocolate colour screaming out, "EXTERMINATE!"

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Will tip defeat Tigerlily Jones with expert fashion sense? Will she seduce him (or vice versa)? Will I ever lay off my addiction to italics? Find out, in the next episode of...
Skin Horse!
Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 Tip's psychology may work. I mean, no one ever said HE was sane, correct? He's managed to get through to a lion, an antisocial Osprey, and Moustachio. Not nearly a comprehnsive list, but it is indicative of one thing: his skills are impressive.


(and not just in the sack)

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Could be much worse-- just picture a Dalek trying to say something like "Get your LUV on, sweet baybee" in that grating voice of theirs.  AAACK.

Kendal Reed (auditors) says:

Well, before they decided to make the five Technicolor Daleks (which, I am obligated to mention, make next to no sense whatsoever will take some serious justification which I hope will be both forthcoming and well-executed), they did have a Dalek asking someone if they wanted some tea. And that was hilarious.

Also, I can imagine both a number of Dalek lines in deep, chocolate tones and all of Sweetdaddy Jupiter Velvet's lines in Dalek-speak... and I think someone should absolutely get to recording either a Barry White filk about the Daleks, a Barry White cover by the Daleks, or both, post haste. I have no microphone and too little free time, but this is the Internet, right? I can count on you guys.

Exterminate, baby. Aww, yeah.

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

Jon Stout says: "So does Sweetdaddy Jupiter Velvet sound like Barry White in anyone else's head?"

Ooooooooh yeaaaaaaahhh...

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

I can'y think of another webcomic story arc that so desperately needed its own sound files.  Maybe .wav or .mp3, but sound files.  In fact, today's songs and most of today's comments need to have sound files too.

Either that, or a really bad case of synesthesia.

Rob (rrreed) says:

"How are we feeling, Mr. Stone?"

It took a minute or two for Stone to move his swollen tongue enough to answer. He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"What smells purple?" he demanded.

— H. L. Gold, "The Man With English" (1953)
Rob (rrreed) says: I just thought of something. Someone please tell me Tip isn't an emergent Mad Psychologist! And I mean "Mad" in the sense of a mad scientist ("Engineer!" **THWAP**), not in the sense of the old psychologist joke.
llearch n'n'daCorna (llearch) says:

I dunno about anyone else, but I'm getting hints of Jeff Dunham there...

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: @Kendal Reed - oh, you mean the Dalek Rangers? I'm personally hoping this is leading up to a plotline where they pilot giant robot dinosaurs around.
Norman Thallheimer (norman) says:

Please, no spoilers!  We poor deprived Yanks have only seen two episodes of the Doctor this year.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Uh oh.  Tip needs to brush up on his interpersonal (outside the bedroom) skills like quick.

Rockphed (rockphed) says:

preach it

D. Connolly (theogrin) says:

I love how, while mad scientists like Helen and Madblood have a curly, Victorian-esque feel to their crazy speech, Jones' looks more like something you'd see on the poster for a 1970s discotheque.

Kendal Reed (auditors) says:

I would like to see what happens when there's a party in someone's toolbox and Science is not invited... probably something like Bloody Stupid Johnson, now that I think about it. Is that what happens to mad physicists?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: A bit touchy, are we?
Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

I'd like to be invited to a party in ... never mind. n.n;

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

The scary thing is Bloody Stupid Johnson was only a mad architect.

A mad physicist, you'd be looking at least a My Head Is Splitting Rutherford - perhaps even a Dude Where's My Heisenberg.

A small consolation is that in our universe, though we don't have Zeppelins, at least all living physicsts and architects _actually are insane_.

And don't even let's get started on mathematicians - the word 'mad' there is actually redundant, all the way from Pythagoras to Goedel to Goedel to Goedel to Goedel...


M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

@Nate: I think you forgot Escher and Bach. ;)

Taki K (tarinaky) says: I agree with Natecull: I'm studying Physics at Uni atm... You know what we call the sane members of my year? Failing.
Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:

Shouldn't she take Tip's comment as a compliment? Everyone knows that miniaturisation = betterisation when it comes to technology. Even more so with Mad Science, because everything is a prototype!

Well I would take it as a compliment, anyway.

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

Panel 2 T-Shirt!!!

Moe Lane (moelane) says:

If your arachnid robot isn't big enough to startle sunbathers on roofs by looking down on them as you do your first promenade/raid on City Hall, you simply weren't trying hard enough.

Also: if the prototype isn't used the moment that it's out of the lab, it ain't Mad Science.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Having A Party", Sam Cooke)

It's like, there's a party ...
Right here in my toolbox!
Science is invited,
Don't know what we'll do!

Took an Eldorado,
Is he little? God no!
Listen, Turkey Neck Joe,
I had enough from you!

So, Doctor ...Dr. Wilkin!
Do not ... dis the robot!
Better jump back!
'Cause I'm stone wack!
Crazy as a cold fox!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Dag.
Kendal Reed (auditors) says:

@Nate- I'm not sure if this is a typo or not... you said that in our dimension all living physicists and architects are insane?

Rob (acoustic_rob) says:

I'm sorry, but Sweetdaddy Jupiter Velvet does *not* speak with Barry White's voice.

He speaks with Isaac Hayes' voice.  I mean, look at this:

They even have the same sunglasses and hairstyle.  It's uncanny.

Vlad Taltos (flyingfish) says:

@Rob: Does that make Jupiter a Scientologist?

Rob (acoustic_rob) says:

I imagine Dr. Jones would be channeling more of an early-'70s Black Moses/Hot Buttered Soul-era Isaac Hayes, so...not yet.  ;)

K C (spotweld) says:

"There's a party in my toolbox, and SCIENCE is invited!"

I weep for joy at that line...  can it be made into a T-shirt?

Could it features Tigerlilly in a steampunk corset and bell-bottoms (of science!)

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

  1. I hope Tigerlily has the decency to have Science RSVP when she would available for her parties. There's nothing worse than an uninvited Science girl crashing a Disco party.
  2. I'm surprised no one has yet tried to use the tried and true Beastie Boys song to filk. 
  3. So does this mean Archimedes is the first Mad Architect and 2nd Mad Mathematician? (The first being the unknown Indian who invented the number zero.)

John Brown (werbluten) says:

Didn't see that coming. Should have, though.

Paul K (mnementh) says:

Ahhh... that sweet ca-click... I'm all verklempt.



It isn't a party until someone leaves in handcuffs...

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

The question is; who has captured who?  (Captured whom?)  The manacles are symmetric.

Moe Lane (moelane) says:

This would be the time where you go looking for a convenient Chevelle, because God knows you're going to be driving it for the next few reels anyway, usually at high speed through an urban environment while being chased.

Norman Thallheimer (norman) says:

Alas, they are likely on the wrong coast for doing a McQueen through San Francisco.  Unless there's a town with hills like that near D.C.?

Corgi (corgi) says:

Quantico area can be fun to drive through fast when you're not familiar with it.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Well, if "The Waco Kid" is the fastest with a gun, then... does this make Tip "The Annex Kid"?
Kendal Reed (auditors) says:

Note to Tip:

When you handcuff someone to your left wrist, as you have just done, you remove your ability to drive a car (built for American roads). When you sit down beside them, they will be on your left, in the driver's seat.

Have fun getting back to the Annex.

Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:

Those of us who didn't see this coming should keep in mind Tip's "badass" side. He uses it sparingly, but it's always there when he needs it. I'm sure he wants to save it as a last resort in Tigerlily's case, for multiple reasons.

(Or maybe Tip's actually always a badass, but he avoids acting like one as much as possible (in fact, as un-badass as anyone possibly can) in order to lure people into a false sense of security. He is a psychologist, after all.)

Andr Drew (andrdrew) says:

So.... does Sweetdaddy Funk-muffler there belong to the union yet?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Love Will Keep Us Together", written by Sedaka & Greenfield)

Cuffs will link us together!
Cuffs of steel, not leather!
Me and my partner, Sweet-
Daddy J.V.!
Went on a spree!
Check out this fool, thinks he's gonna catch me!
But, wham!  I'm caught by this honky!
Damn!  Seems he brought the wrong key!
Locked to my wrist now, these cuffs
Link us together!

I can go to town!
Never be caught by The Man!
You can't tie me down ...
Then again, maybe you can!
Oh, man!  Oh, man!  Oh, man!

Oh, man!
We're gonna find out whether
Cuffs can keep us together!
He's says he's sorry that
This has to end!
He'll apprehend
Me and my robotic spidery friend!
So, click!  I'm thrown in the clink now!
Slick!  You're a speedy shrink now!
Look at my wrist, how these cuffs
Link us together!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Carl: Well, Tip wants to be cuffed and Tigerlily doesn't, so that pretty much means she's the one in captivity. For now, anyway.
Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 The real question is this: does he really think that's the first time she's been handcuffed?


 And what does the ex El Dorado spiderbot have to say about it?

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

Oh TIP! What you just done went and did. I have a feeling this ain't the first time Tigerlily's been in cuffs. How does one spell regret?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Why do I get the feeling this is going to end with them doing a song and dance number as the Machinist Union Army corners them?

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

Tip: Master of Timely Bondage.

Rob (rrreed) says: @Kendal — Maybe Tip rode a motorcycle, in which case we might be treated to a bit of Tomorrow Never Dies action.

Now, if he rode in on a unicycle, that would be interesting!
M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

@various car commenters: Don't forget that they already have a rather nonstandard car in the party right now.

K. Feete (katastrophe) says:

Good man with the handcuffs, that Tip.

... I'm sure he's never speedy when it counts. (And I can't believe I'm the first to make that joke.)

Naomi H (starbright) says:

She IS his kryptonite!

Kita (kita_the_spaz) says:

Tip: Hook, line and sinker.  You got pwned!

Dan B (danb) says:

I can't tell if Tip is feeling fear or rapture, there in Panel 4.

Possibly he can't tell either.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Both.
Adam (10-0-0-1) says: Sorry about the delay in saving you all from killer office supplies, they have shopping to do first.
John Brown (werbluten) says:

It's just too bad that the machines are preventing his use of said charge card. That may cause some problems with the shopping.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Johnny B. Goode", Chuck Berry)

Out in the eastern USA, around DC,
There's a super-genius, crazy as can be!
Parents named her Berenice, but that's so lame!
Now she'll tell you "Tigerlily is my name!"
And you know that, from looking at the clothes she owns,
That for that Seventies fashion, man, she's got a jones!

   Go, go!  Go Doctor Jones!
   Go!  Go Doctor Jones!
   Go!  Go Doctor Jones!
   Go!  Go Doctor Jones!
   Go ... Doctor B. Jones!

Now Dr. Wilkin cuffing her before she runs,
Like they're re-enacting "The Defiant Ones"!
Tip says, "Tigerlily, will you come with me,
Or am I gonna have to use psychology?"
But then we see the tables turned on Tip tonight,
'Cause Doctor J is (how you say) his kryptonite!
   (repeat CHORUS)

Skylar Ekamper (coranas) says:

Poor, poor Tip.

Erik Waer (raistandantilus) says:

Wait. Who used psychology on whom?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Now that's what I call reversed psychology.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

she found the kryptonite to his superpower.  The only thing he has left to fall back on is karaoke.

Woof Arf (woofnarf) says:

You don't understand the power of the dark side!

D. Connolly (theogrin) says:

@sleepyjohn: She's Tigerlily Jones!  What makes you think that she can't break it down in a slick karaoke duel?

Rob (rrreed) says: Yes, Tigerlily Jones has shown us she's down with the funkness. But can she sing the blues? Does she have soul? Tip might have a chance yet in karaoke!
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

Well, 2 out of 3 isn't so bad.

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Taffeta, eh? Wikipedia advises that:

On November 4, 1782, taffeta was used by Joseph Montgolfier of France to construct a small, cube-shaped balloon. This was the beginning of many experiments using taffeta balloons by the Montgolfier brothers, and led to the first known human flight in a lighter-than-air craft.


So there you are. From ballgowns to zeppelins, it's the discerning mad scientist's second * most versatile fabric!

* the first would be hemp.

Charles Lavergne (yun) says:

Tip likes beer? Just when I thought SH couldn't surprise me anymore...

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: I prefer satin, myself.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I Love Rock And Roll", The Arrows)

I caught her standing there, with her Cadillac bot!
When she said "shopping", I said "stop it" ... NOT!
These are my fav'rite things
(Like Julie Andrews sings) ...
And she'll find what winds my springs
When shopping with me, yeah, me!

I like ...
Beer, breasts, taffeta!
You're poking all my buttons, Tigerlily!
Beer, breasts, taffeta!
The same as any other manly man!

Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says:

Hopefully Tip drinks good beer. A little something from Stone Brewery or Dogfishhead, perhaps.

K C (spotweld) says:

I have the sudden urge to start a "Mad Scientist" themed craft berwery.

K C (spotweld) says:

"Beer, breasts, taffeta!"

The motto on Tip's coat of arms I assume?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

And what kind of beer would a Mad Scientist brew, pray tell?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: MAD beer!
Catherine Tucker (diekatzchen) says:

Dogfish Head is Mad Scientist Beer.  A 90 minute IPA?  Beer with raisins?  Madness I tell you!  Delicious, delicious madness!

Moe Lane (moelane) says:

Andrew Kunz:

Surely that question was a gimme.


Camille Dumas (camidumas) says:

Maybe she can MAKE him a nice accessory - like how she made herself a friend.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Purple People Eater", Sheb Wooley)

Well, I took Tigerlily on a shopping spree,
But the prices were kinda rich for me ...
Then I saw it there!  In the window display!
It was Mainbocher strapless gown that blew me away!

It was a 1939 Mainbocher strapless number!
(1939 Mainbocher strapless number!)
A 1939 Mainbocher strapless number!
Made from silk like wine!

Lordy, there it was ... my perfect drape!
So fine and fair, could barely bear to stand and gape!
Had the gauntlets too!  And matching shoes!
It's so nice!  But the price had me singing the blues!

It was a 1939 Mainbocher strapless number!
(1939 Mainbocher strapless number!)
A 1939 Mainbocher strapless number!
Man, that dress looked fine!

Camille Dumas (camidumas) says:

Also if anyone is interested in seeing more Mainbochers:

Yes, it is probably VERY expensive.

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 The interplay between them is getting to be quite interesting. Even if "typical" Tip psychology doesn't do the trick, I do belive he and Tigerlily have bonded on fashionalbe level. This is working out nicely, even if it has to end eventually.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Wine silk?

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Is it just me, or is Tip starting to look more and more like Mike Doonesbury?

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

You do realize she and her spider are about to rob the store, with Tip in tow....

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Okay, I'm confused. When she says "two-tone" does she mean mean "in two colors" or "2000 kilograms"?

Elaine Corvidae (elaine_corvidae) says:

Tip's little blush in the last panel is adorable.

Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says:

@pokefan_frank: I think "2000 kilograms" would be "two-tonne"

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

(Tune: "Stop, in the Name of Love!")

Shop, in the Name of Love! Be-fore my wallet's drained!


I'm aware of where you go,

Each time you go to shop.

I watch you walk to that store

knowing that lovely dress you'll see

That really nice, silky smooth Mosbacher

leaving me so poor and drained!

(Tigerlily!) Leaving my wallet drained!

(Tigerlily!) Leaving my ego pained!

Shop, in the Name of Love! Be-fore my wallet's drained!

Shop, in the Name of Love! Be-fore I go insane!

Running over! (My credit limit!)

Running over! (Into next month's budget!)

Running Over...


(I hope this isn't too far off of the original's meter.)

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

I'm beginning to think the whole 'filk' phenomenon here is, itself, a plot by some evil scientist.  But to what end...

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile