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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

Oh, poor Tip.  Hell hath no (funkadelic) fury...

Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Since Tigerlilly isn't puckering her lips....

...I guess this means she's leaving or things are about to go "boom."  Of course, this being mad science, I'd bet on *both.*

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 Tip, the next time a mad scientist asks you if you're going to let them go, you say YES.

Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:


tip = ray, sweetheart = egon, unity = venkman, nick = winston. doctor j = Gozer the gozarian.

tip could have done worse choosing the form of their (mad) destructor...


Nate Cull (natecull) says:

This comic brought to you by VWORN, the universally recognised onomatopoeia for quantum wormholes everywhere. And that ain't no BAMF.

VWORN: It's Everywhere You'd Rather Be (tm).

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: "Don't Blow It", The Elected)

Somewhere out there's a hell'
a good universe next door
Somewhere out there's the parallel
world we're waiting for
And when the right time comes
The stars turn on a point
And when the right time comes
Gonna blow it
Gonna blow this joint

And I'm that voice you're hearing in the dark
That says that you're insane
And I'm the one with a Jacob's Ladder spark
And a clockwork orange brain

So when the right time comes we'll blow it all away
Yeah when the right time comes you'll know it
When the right time comes we'll blow it
Blow this joint

We'll blow it
We'll blow it
We'll blow it

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

We had the neighbors over for a cookout last night, which makes today's tune very appropriate.

(No, not the "love" part.)

(TUNE: "Love Hangover", Diana Ross)

Tip, if you had a plan,
You'd have said it!  You'd have said it!
But if it involves The Man,
Then forget it!  Just forget it!

Teleporter, activate!
Watch her now evacuate!
Hey, it's been great ...

She's got the coolest coathanger!
She's expressing her anger!
She's got the coolest coathanger,
It won't help to harangue her!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

This is turning into a very bad episode of Sliders.

Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:

@andrew: Were there any good episodes? I couldn't get into it, although Keri Russel was really cute....

Sam Schmern (the_occupant) says:

Ah love, it makes fools of us all. Even cross dressing Casanovas psychologists with fashion senses to die for.

Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

Did NOT get the girl.


Clearly, this dangling plot thread will have to be addressed in a future story arc.

Rob (rrreed) says: It's the age-old story. Boy dresses as girl, girl disses boy, boy loses girl, girl starts on rampage, boy handcuffs girl, girl escapes through Wind-Up Wire Hanger Wormhole™® (pat. pending), boy loses girl again, girl appears again according to teh Rule o' Funny…
D. Connolly (theogrin) says:

When next we see Tigerlily Jones, she'll be taking part in one of the following pursuits:

  • Serving the finest darned steak sandwiches you've ever HAD while she's on the lowdown from the FDA;
  • Rolling down the street in a real VW Van, followed by an array of coathangers from Saks Fifth Avenue; or
  • Drinking at a local bar, where Sweetheart will take three panels and half a beer to notice she's even around.

Of course, I'm just hedging my bets.  I have no doubt that the truth will be infinitely stranger.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "How Can You Mend A Broken Heart", The Bee Gees)

Well, it's been a crazy day,
And Tigerlily Jones
Is wanted by The Man again!
Since she got her rampage thwarted,
In order to escape ... she te-le-port-ed!

And ...
How can you catch the Queen of Funk,
Who disappeared with a K-CHOW!
That burly horde
Is getting bored,
So they're attacking now!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Hmmmmm.
Joseph W. (alberich) says:

(Tune - "Big Iron" by Marty Robbins)

(recommended video for SH readers: )

A stranger come to town, a-sprayin' Sassoon in his hair
And the confidence that comes from wearin' sexy underwear
Was a marvel and a wonder to his colleagues who were hip
To the mighty superpower of the big guy known as Tip.
Big guy known as Tip.

He was welcome in the places where his wandrin' gaze did roam.
He was loved by ev'rybody...who had two X chromosomes.
Be she lady, tramp, or nerdie, or fire-breathing feminist,
There's no woman fought the pleasure of his little pelvic twist.
Little pelvic twist.

But they say that fame is fleeting and success it doesn't stay,
And the "fastest gun" of yesterday lies on Boot Hill today.
Oh, Tip thought his time was passin' - he was fearin' for the worst,
When his old flame, Doc Virginia, said "Man up and call me first."
"Man up - call me first"

Then his nemesis showed up, she had a funky outfit on,
And was burstin' with mad science, and the lightning from Lovetron.
She laughed off his superpower - she how to make him slip
When she tempted him to come out on a little shopping trip.
Little shopping trip.

Soon she had him stealin' dresses and a-runnin' from the law,
With a '39 Mainbocher that he loved like a Lacroix.
Then she got 'em both surrounded by that special Institute
Who would lock you up for lookin' but not hesitate to shoot.
Hesitate to shoot.

Then she borrowed his coathangers, said she needed 'em right now,
Then she twisted 'em together, then was off with a K-CHOW!
Left him holed up with his wardrobe, and she gave the guy the slip.
If you think that he'll survive it, just tune in for Wednesday's strip.
In for Wednesday's strip

Joseph W. (alberich) says:

err, knew how...

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Holy batshit, Fatman; Tip just lost his favorite accessory.

(...pun intended. Ba-dumph-DUMPH!!)

Rob (rrreed) says: @Jospeh W. — BRAVO! I'm going to be humming that all day.

And since I don't normally like folk/country/western, that's saying something.
Rob (rrreed) says: And it looks like I'm not the only one who thinks most mad scientists are actually mad engineers…
maggie d (sophistre) says:

The 'ching!' in panel 3 is somehow strangely satisfying.

Just Here (justhere4coffee) says:

Haha, I love that she's just as surprised that it worked!

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Hope she's not in the Yukon with the werewolves and talking dogs. :)

Rockphed (rockphed) says:

I hope she is on Earth.

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

(Tune: "You Must Believe In Spring", Michel Legrand)

When physics problems chill the clockwork of your mind
Just think that quantum gravity is curvature of spacetime
Even an Einstein-Rosen bridge is where time bends like so
A little wormhole forms and grows if you believe in springs!

Just as electrons move in orbits hard to comprehend
A mind that's twisty can have fun with other things that bend
A simple wire coathanger can be a cosmic headbanger
Unleash existential danger if you believe in springs!

The innards of a Biro sing the music of the spheres
A paperclip holds secrets that are far beyond the years
Above the darkest sky, the far horizons lie
In two Coke cans and a Moon Pie if you believe in springs!

You must believe that funkadelic cool is on its way
And that a Rubik's Cube might end the world one day
So in a world that's beige, where style is off the page
The Man's impotent rage leaves you bereft and torn
You must believe in springs and -VWORN-!


Adam (10-0-0-1) says: Probably just the art style but I expect the deer to be another project of sweetheart's creator, possibly part of a plot to impersonate Santa and rule the world.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Have her springs dropped her somewhere it is spring?
Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:


Hope it's our Earth, present day, not in a virtual reality/holodeck/lucid dream, not a ghost and doesn't realize it, not a clone made from a cell sample taken when the wire-hanger gizmo exploded... and DEFINITELY not a bubble of "imaginary space-time" combined with part of the afterlife that was created when you combine an atomic explosion, "electromagnetic energy", and the hopes and dreams of plane crash survivors.

I think that covers just about everything.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Lady Willpower", Gary Puckett & The Union Gap)

   Lily's spring power!
   It's how her
   Mind works!
   She'll escape those jerks, and
   This flower
   Won't cower fearfully!
   Wait and see ...

They thought they had her cornered,
But then she used
Coat hangers and some awesomeness!
She shouts, "It worked, you suckas!"
And now she'll run amuck as
She celebrates her great success!
   (repeat CHORUS)

But now there comes the question
That we must ask ...
If Tigerlily's in the woods,
And there's no one around, then
Does she still make a sound, man?
If not, has she still got the goods?
   (repeat CHORUS)

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 The best part about experiments: them working, even when they shouldn't.

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

New movie: "Bambi vs. Funk"

Rob (rrreed) says: She missed teleporting into the deer by just that much!

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

I don't think she's on Earth, given the completely alien hind legs on that deer-like creature. :)

Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

hope godzilla doesnt step on her.

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

What actually happened to that deer?

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: Fear not, it merely startled and ran away.
Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

Why is it that they never hire security guards with good spot checks. okay, these might just be muscle... but come on. how hard is it to notice THAT sneaking up on you.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: He's velvety quiet.
Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

With apologies to any Kipling fans:

To the legion of the lost ones, to the cohort of the damned,
    To my brethren in their metal outerskins,
Sings a fine Detroit Eldorado, done up right, machinely crammed,
    And a funkster of mad science, if you please.
Yea, a funkster of the forces who can run five hundred horses,
    And get down among the finest auto kind,
And the world was more than kin when I rolled throuh it as tin,
    But to-day these honkys is somethin less than den kine.
I’se a poor little lambs what’s lost our way,
    Baa! Baa! Baa!
I’se a little black sheep what’s gone astray,
Mad science robot out on the spree,
Damned from here to Eternity,
God ha' mercy on such as we,
    Baa! Yah! Bah!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Phew!
Nate Cull (natecull) says:

That arachnid is bigger than it looked at first.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Dreams", Fleetwood Mac)
(aka "Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining")

All right, let's move in now,
But let's be careful ...
We don't want our side to get killed ...
We know inside, there's at least one rogue mad genius,
Who knows what that genius rogue can build
From some coathangers and a bunch of randome junk?
While the Eldorado spider
Gonna la-ay down the funk ...
He's gonna la-a-ay ... down the funk ...

Oh, Aqua Velva!  W-D-Forty!
Lady, look behind you now, oh Lordy!
You'll discover, when you turn around,
Interns taken down without a sound!
No sound ...

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

Despite the awkward structure of "Lady, look behind you now, Oh Lordy," that had to be among your most brilliant of song parodies, Ed Gedeon.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

I have to say it again.  Some day, Shaenon and Jeffrey *must* put together a collection of these strips with the filk songs included.  I don't know how they would deal with song rights and such, but it must be done.

Fortunately, Kipling is now public domain.  Nice one, Mark!

Eric Meyer (anvilwarrior) says:

I have to say, Diane, I completely agree.

Daniel Barkalow (iabervon) says:

So, Tigerlily used a clothes-storage-based transport system to send herself far away from the people who were seeking her, and she startled a young deer by an evergreen forest containing something dark and pointy. Might that object be a lamp post?

John Brown (werbluten) says:

Who would have guessed that Tip also is a liguist.

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

I bet he speaks Jive too.

Daniel Ross (nentuaby) says:

Dear Sweet Lord. As of panel four right there, Tip's Superpower has officially transcended the fourth wall.

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: That is both impressive and frightening, I am not sure which more so.
Robert Stacy (robovox) says:


Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

John, John, John, have you forgotten how cunning Tip is?

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 And the jibber-jabber saves the day!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: It's a superpower.
Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

And BOY does he make that dress look good!

Nate Cull (natecull) says:


Be afraid.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I Will Survive", Gloria Gaynor)

At first, I was secure, I was confident!
Each woman that I talked to, she would follow where I went!
Any thing with double-X, I'd talk into random sex,
And we had fun, then I'd walk off when we were done ...

But then she came!  She was strapped down,
They turned her loose, I was confused,
'Cause she was dressed like Foxy Brown!
Doctor Tigerlily Jones!  I was shocked down to my bones!
My knees went weak ... I felt so strange, I couldn't speak!

And now she's gone!  She left this place!
Yeah, she made a quantum wormhole, disappeared without a trace!
But still she left behind Sweetdaddy;
What a crazy day he's had, he
Has a plan ... he'll lay some smack down on The Man!

You'd best get wise!  I'm talkin' jive!
Oh, as long as I can work it, then my mojo I'll revive!
I still got my superpow'r, I'm the hero of the hour,
And I'll talk jive!  I'm talkin jive!
Word up!

P. Ipsum (vitupera) says:

@Ed: I have come from the future (10/06/30 23:59:59) to inform you that that was the greatest thing I experienced all month.

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: "Oh stewardess! I speak jive!"
Glenn Gorsuch (glenn) says:

Aaaaand...just like Superman, once the Kryptonite (aka Dr Tigerlily) is removed, Tip's Superpowers come back (possibly with extra oomph for having been supressed).  I'm thinking that on the hand we can't really see right now, there's no handcuff anymore... 

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

I just met Ed in person! It was crazy!
Metal Fatigue (metalfatigue) says: Ed...there are no words.
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

And I have the tune in my head now. Thank's Ed. And I don't even remember the 70's.

Owl Who says South (owlsayssouth) says:

*does the replacement's dance*

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Ed, that song was so great!  (The tune was stuck in my head anyway from seeing a YouTube video with that song backing an AMV for Ginormica of 'Monsters vs. Aliens'.)

Between that song and Tip's performance in today's strip, I think I'm having hot flashes.

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

Ed, I think you've officially won the Internet by making the Filk Which Can Never Be Topped.

Terry Smith (wcfan) says:

Damn, Tip's never looked better than in that last panel.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Thanks to all!  (Especially Shaenon, it was great meeting you!)  And now I have a new goal to shoot for ...

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

I concur.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Y'know, looking at these panels... ignoring the amazing jive talkin', Tip's command of the situation, Tigerlily's astonishing escape and just everything.....

.....that really is one stunning dress. I mean, seriously, y'all.

Paul K (mnementh) says:

Was that the Energizer bunny?



It couldn't be any weirder than this... :D


Nate Cull (natecull) says:

Baby badass robot spiders!
Baby badass robot spiders!
Baby badass robot spiders!
Heroic arachnids!
Spider power!


John Brown (werbluten) says:

I wonder how long it takes to be able to say those lines with a strait face.

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

Years of study, internship, plus his military experience.

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

"We're from the Government, and we're here to help.

Also we have a robot spider."



Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Loves Me Like A Rock", Paul Simon)

When my momma was on the run
(When she was on the run)
Bein' brought down by The Man,
(Man, it wasn't fun)
They said, "Now, what do ...
What do you think you're building?"
She build a badass spider bot!
Yeah, preach it, proper, solid, dag ... no doubt!
My momma made me ... she made me ...
With disco she would serenade me,
'Cause she made me from a car!
An '87 Eldorado, she made me!

Bill McGann (odo) says: I see Tip finally got rid of his handcuff.
Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says:

I guess now Tigerlily is gone, his powers are back.

Chris Maloof (cjmaloof) says:

Regarding Wednesday's comic: I have now seen two people this week wearing the xkcd "Science" T-shirt (, and now this.  Apparently its moment has come.

Rincewind (outworldcats) says: If Tip takes Sweetdaddy back to Skin Horse, what are the odds that the robot will side with the Union?
Rincewind (outworldcats) says: Yay! Commenting finally worked! Turned out that when you register at Webcomics Nation, choosing ANY settings but default either makes you comments invisible, or makes the system refuse to take them.
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile