(TUNE: "Dancing In The Dark", Bruce Springsteen)

Time to drop all the pretense,
Got a problem that we must now resolve!
We must settle this grievance,
Just the way we did back in Pskov!
Gonna go and fight, yes!
We'll remove our shirts, and we will see
That God endows the righteous
With the strength to claim the victory!

Down by the river,
We're getting right down in the dirt!
Stand and deliver!
By the river we'll fight without a shirt!

There's nothing I would rather,
Than to fight all night and day with you!
See the girls all gather,
Now they'll go and show on pay-per-view
As we're fighting now, we
Hear the girls shout, "Yowie!  How we love
This live-action yaoi!
It's so hot that wow, we want more of!"

Down by the river!
Down by the river, in the dirt!
Get the girls a-quiver,
As they're watching us fight without a shirt!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: While possessed of Army training, most of Tip's recent experience in grappling is of a rather different nature.

W o o d (wood) says:

They both have military training, haven't they ?

Erik Waer (raistandantilus) says:

I just hope that I someday have the chance to use the word 'grapple-making.'

casimir (casimir) says:

I can't help thinking that it's a kind of brandy made from the residue of apple and grape pressings.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

You know, he really is from Pskov. Say it out loud.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: Makin' Whoopie (Walter Donaldson & Gus Kahn, Whoopie!, 1928)

A couple guys
Without their shirts
Having a fight
Oh, my, that hurts!
They're in the mud now
All "thwak" and "thud" now
They're grapple-makin'

They're working out
Their rivalry
And Dr. Jones,
It's plain to see
Had taste so fine
When she inclined
Toward grapple-makin'

Picture the Skin Horse ladies
Wandering on that scene
Can't show a river orgy
Webcomic Nation's clean

But close your eyes
The dreams won't stop
Pretend that you
Come out on top
With Tip and K now
It's fun to play now
At grapple-makin'

Drew (pseudowolf) says:

Don't underestimate our Tip. Just look up Army Combatives on YouTube.

Emily NotYourBusiness (emilygirl) says:

Somehow, "Grapple-making" sounds way dirtier than "grappling."

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Gray Fills II - Return of the Gray Fills

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

I give 3-1 odds that somehow Tigerlily sees Tip topless and falls head over heels at last.

And then Tip is somehow repulsed by Tigerlily's advances.

Mary Potts (queenofcapes) says:

...So does this mean we're going to be seeing Sweetheart in goggles again?

Btw, I heartily approve of the direction this story-line has taken.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

I can only hope that this story-line is inspired by Ken Russell's Women in Love.

woozy (woozy) says:

Yow.  My brain read that as "Russ Myer's Women in Love".   Which would be ... noteworthy.

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: Well this should make for an entertaining video on youtube for a change.

Rincewind (outworldcats) says: Does this mean that Unity's having those "funny feelings" again?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: ......

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The River", Bruce Springsteen)

The office gets a phone call,
And Unity says, "Hey!
Gavotte is cheesed, so tell us please
Where are you anyway?"
Konstanstin's fighting Tip now,
To get his honor back ...
So Unity tells Sweetheart,
"Grab a camera and jetpack!"

    And let's get down to the river,
    And watch as we videotape,
    We will watch by the river, agape!

It's Black Ops versus Army,
They'll grapple in the dirt!
Each with the skill to fight and kill,
And each without a shirt!
And tons of yaoi fangirls
Will watch with lustful awe!
The ticket sales could finance
Our trip to Mardi Gras ...

    So let's get down to the river,
    To horny girls, tickets we'll sell!
    They'll flock down to the river, as well!

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

Not that it has much to do with this comic, but in a real world bout between two trained and fit men, you're pretty safe betting on the bigger one.  That's why everything from wrestling to boxing to judo works in weight classes.  Which means that Tip would be in trouble.

Here; who knows?

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Unity may simply recognize the commercial potential.

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Intro Cowardly Lion: December 31, 2007 - January 5, 2008 Unity/Sweetheart Sketch Cowardly Lion: January 7-12, 2008 Sweetheart/Tip Sketch Cowardly Lion: January 14-19, 2008 Tip Dressed Up: Ballgown Cowardly Lion: January 21-26, 2008 Tip Dressed Up: Trench Coat Cowardly Lion: January 28 - February 2, 2008 Tip Dressed Up: Pink Cowardly Lion: February 4-9, 2008 AsLAN Borrowers: February 11-16, 2008 Guest Art: Feech Borrowers: February 18-23, 2008 Mostly Not Men in Black Borrowers: February 25 - March 1, 2008 Tip Dressed Up: Bobby Sox Borrowers: March 3-8, 2008 Guest Art: Ed Gedeon Draws a Lollion Borrowers: March 10-15, 2008 Tip Dressed Up: Ozma Borrowers: March 17-22, 2008 Guest Art: Dave Van Domelen Borrowers: March 24-29, 2008 Unity Doodles Borrowers: March 31 - April 5, 2008 Guest Art: Ed Gedeon Draws Noah's Arkade Borrowers: April 7-12, 2008 Andre Richard draws Unity and Sweetheart Borrowers: April 14-19, 2008 Indigo Draws Unity Borrowers: April 21-26, 2008 Indigo Draws Tip Borrowers: April 28 - May 3, 2008 Skin Horse Pitch, Part One Borrowers: May 5-10, 2008 Skin Horse Pitch, Part Two Borrowers: May 12-17, 2008 Skin Horse Pitch, Part Three Borrowers: May 19-24, 2008 Thumbnails Borrowers: May 26-31, 2008 Basement Palindrama Borrowers: June 2-7, 2008 Biplane Robot Wild Things: June 9-14, 2008 Guest Art: Adorable Cobra Wild Things: June 16-21, 2008 Guest Art: Marleen de Kramer Draws Tip Wild Things: June 23-28, 2008 Tip in Uniform Wild Things: June 30 - July 5, 2008 More Unity and Sweetheart Doodles Wild Things: July 7-12, 2008 More Tip Doodles Wild Things: July 14-19, 2008 Ed Gedeon's Rampage Wild Things: July 21-26, 2008 Basement Embroidery by Laurie Jacobs Wild Things: July 28 - August 2, 2008 Jaeger Unity by Dave Van Domelen Wild Things: August 4-9, 2008 Sweetheart and Unity by Pencilears Wild Things: August 11-16, 2008 LOLTips by William Tracy Wild Things: August 18-23, 2008 Moustachio by Sleepy John Wild Things: August 25-30, 2008 Unity's Daydream, Plus LOLs Wild Things: September 1-6, 2008 "Wild Things" Thumbnails I Can Fly: September 8-13, 2008 VR Sketches, Part One I Can Fly: September 15-20, 2008 VR Sketches, Part Two I Can Fly: September 22-27 Men in Black I Can Fly: September 29 - October 4, 2008 Unity by Noip I Can Fly: October 6-11, 2008 Gavotte's Angels I Can Fly: October 13-18, 2008 Nick and the D of I by Pencilears I Can Fly: October 20-25, 2008 Sweetheart on Spore I Can Fly: October 27 - November 1, 2008 I Can Fly Sketches I Can Fly: November 3-8, 2008 More Random Sketches I Can Fly: November 10-15, 2008 Bookends! I Can Fly: November 17-22, 2008 The Field Team by Vito Excalibur I Can Fly: November 24-29, 2008 Thanksgiving Moustachio by Boone Adkins I Can Fly: December 1-6, 2008 GoComics Promo Art I Can Fly: December 8-13, 2008 Creation by Ed Gedeon I Can Fly: December 15-20, 2008 Sweetheart on Spore Redux I Can Fly: December 22-27, 2008 Tiki Sketches, Etc. I Can Fly: December 29, 2008 - January 3, 2009 Unity vs. Lincoln by Rosstin (Also, Music!) I Can Fly: January 5-10, 2009 Sweetheart, Tip, and Dr. Lee by Mica J.L. I Can Fly: January 12-17, 2009 Tip and Dr. Lee by Irony-chan I Can Fly: January 19-24, 2009 Therapy Puppets by Leigh Koszarsky I Can Fly: January 26-31, 2009 Dr. Lee by Ed Gedeon I Can Fly: February 2-7, 2009 Volume 1 Endpaper Unity by Thomas Reynolds Dead Dogs: February 9-14, 2009 Unity and Tip by Rod Anderson Dead Dogs: February 16-21, 2009 Alaska Sketches Dead Dogs: February 23-28, 2009 Crossdressing Tips by Jason Thompson Dead Dogs: March 2-7, 2009 Tip and Lee by Juliette Calvarin, Plus Tip Doll by Thalia Mayo Dead Dogs: March 9-14, 2009 Biscuit Is Cross by Tim Tylor Dead Dogs: March 16-21, 2009 Julie Sketches Dead Dogs: March 23-28, 2009 More Alaska Sketches Dead Dogs: March 30 - April 4, 2009 Alaska Thumbnails Dead Dogs: April 6-11, 2009 Alaska Pencils Dead Dogs: April 13-18, 2009 Sweetheart and Unity by Konstantin Pogorelov Dead Dogs: April 20-25, 2009 Photos: Nick and Tiktok Dead Dogs: April 27 - May 2, 2009 Tip and Unity by Rosstin Dead Dogs: May 4-9, 2009 Jeffrey in San Francisco Dead Dogs: May 11-16, 2009 Silverfish Embroidery by Laurie Jacobs Dead Dogs: May 18-23, 2009 Were-Field Team by Irony-chan and Tip & Sweetheart by Feech Dead Dogs: May 25-30, 2009 Unity by Alicorn Dead Dogs: June 1-6, 2009 Lucy by Feech Dead Dogs: June 8-13, 2009 Skin Horse Volume 1 Dead Dogs: June 15-20, 2009 Were-Art by Ed Gedeon and Justin Grubbs Dead Dogs: June 22-27, 2009 Dog Doodles Dead Dogs: June 29 - July 4, 2009 Volume 1 Bonus Story Preview Dead Dogs: July 6-11, 2009 Cast Pic by Dirk Tiede Big Bad Wolves: July 13-18, 2009 Cast Pic by Jason Thompson Big Bad Wolves: July 20-25, 2009 Captain Bram Sketches Big Bad Wolves: July 27 - August 1, 2009 1940s Skin Horse by Thomas Reynolds Big Bad Wolves: August 3-8, 2009 Wuff Thumbnails Big Bad Wolves: August 10-15, 2009 We Have Books! Big Bad Wolves: August 17-22, 2009 Young Tip by Brian Daniel Big Bad Wolves: August 24-29, 2009 Tip and Tha Ladiez by Feech Big Bad Wolves: August 31 - September 5, 2009 Were-Nick Debate Big Bad Wolves: September 7-12, 2009 Unity by Otter Big Bad Wolves: September 14-19, 2009 Guns 'N Roses by Ed Gedeon Big Bad Wolves: September 21-26, 2009 I Made a Chart Big Bad Wolves: September 28 - October 3, 2009 Tip by Deborah Erenberg Big Bad Wolves: October 5-10, 2009 Louis the Peace Lily by Feech Big Bad Wolves: October 12-17, 2009 Human Dogs by JP Chabot Big Bad Wolves: October 19-24, 2009 Tip and Kate Big Bad Wolves: October 26-31, 2009 Volume 2 Endpaper Wolf Pumpkin Tin Soldier: November 2-7, 2009 Zombie of the Year Tin Soldier: November 9-14, 2009 Big Bad Sketches Tin Soldier: November 16-21, 2009 Wolf and Soldier Thumbnails Tin Soldier: November 23-28, 2009 Chris and Marcie Sketches Tin Soldier: November 30 - December 5, 2009 Holiday Cast by Indigo Tin Soldier: December 7-12, 2009 Mini Dr. Lees Tin Soldier: December 14-19, 2009 Lurch for the Cure by Sleepy John Tin Soldier: December 21-26, 2009 Zombie Shirts Tin Soldier: December 28 - January 2, 2009 Lurch Line Tin Soldier: January 4-9, 2010 Skin Horse Soundtrack 2 Tin Soldier: January 11-16, 2010 Escheriffic! Tin Soldier: January 18-23, 2010 Unity and Tip by Demothesis Tin Soldier: January 25-30, 2010 Tip by Bill Roundy Tin Soldier: February 1-6, 2010 "Into the Woods" by Jenn Manley Lee Tin Soldier: February 8-13, 2010 Marcie Sketches Tin Soldier: February 15-20, 2010 Dr. Lee Sketches Tin Soldier: February 22-27, 2010 Dr. Lee Commission Brave Little Toasters: March 1-6, 2010 Tip in Champions Online Brave Little Toasters: March 8-13, 2010 Tip on City of Heroes Brave Little Toasters: March 15-20, 2010 Tigerlily by Lea Hernandez Brave Little Toasters: March 22-27, 2010 Arisia Pinups Brave Little Toasters: March 29 - April 3, 2010 Saturday Night FEMA by Ed Gedeon Brave Little Toasters: April 5-10, 2010 Unity with Cookies by Molly Alexander and Tip in NetHack by Matt Weiner Brave Little Toasters: April 12-17, 2010 More Lurching Brave Little Toasters: April 19-24, 2010 Sweetheart and Unity by Konstantin Pogorelov Brave Little Toasters: April 26 - May 1, 2010 May 2010 Wallpaper Brave Little Toasters: May 3-8, 2010 Tigerlily by Maggie G. Vicknair Brave Little Toasters: May 10-15, 2010 Annex One Seals by Robert Reed Brave Little Toasters: May 17-22, 2010 Skin Horse Volume 2 Brave Little Toasters: May 24-29, 2010 Tigerlily Sketches Brave Little Toasters: May 31 - June 5, 2010 Tigerlily Thumbnails Brave Little Toasters: June 7-12, 2010 June 2010 Wallpaper Brave Little Toasters: June 14-19, 2010 Party in my Toolbox Brave Little Toasters: June 21-26, 2010 Sweetheart and Unity by Sleepy John Brave Little Toasters: June 28 - July 3, 2010 July 2010 Wallpaper Brave Little Toasters: July 5-10, 2010 Pinups by Nora McCarty Brave Little Toasters: July 12-17, 2010 Shaenon at Comic-Con Brave Little Toasters: July 19-24, 2010 Jeff and Shaenon's Top X-Files Brave Little Toasters: July 26-31, 2010 Kickstarter Drive Complete! Brave Little Toasters: August 2-7, 2010 August 2010 Wallpaper You are here -- [And All the Lovely Ladies: August 9-14, 2010] Unity by Julie Davis And All the Lovely Ladies: August 16-21, 2010 Sweetheart and Gavotte by Feech And All the Lovely Ladies: August 23-28, 2010 Footloose by Ed Gedeon And All the Lovely Ladies: August 30 - September 4, 2010 Pajama Party by Andre Richard And All the Lovely Ladies: September 6-11, 2010 September 2010 Wallpaper And All the Lovely Ladies: September 13-18, 2010 Skin Horse Surfing Safari by Christina Major Come Swing from My Branches: September 20-25, 2010 Gavotte Strip by Sleepy John Come Swing from My Branches: September 27 - October 2, 2010 World Tour of San Francisco, 2010 Come Swing from My Branches: October 4-9, 2010 Volume 2 Is Here! Come Swing from My Branches: October 11-16, 2010 October 2010 Wallpaper Come Swing from My Branches: October 18-23, 2010 Unity and Tip by Hans Come Swing from My Branches: October 25-30, 2010 FOREST! Come Swing from My Branches: November 1-6, 2010 Gavotte, Sweetheart, and Unity by Hans Come Swing from My Branches: November 8-13, 2010 Remy Sketches Come Swing from My Branches: November 15-20, 2010 November 2010 Wallpaper Come Swing from My Branches: November 22-27, 2010 Violet Sketches Come Swing from My Branches: November 29 - December 4, 2010 Random Doodles Come Swing from My Branches: December 6-11, 2010 Tigerlilies by Andrew Farago and Me Come Swing from My Branches: December 13-18, 2010 Winter Doodles Come Swing from My Branches: December 20-25, 2010 Arisia Margin Art Come Swing from My Branches: December 27, 2010 - January 1, 2011 January 2011 Wallpaper Come Swing from My Branches: January 3-8, 2011 Jeff and Shaenon's Top Sci-Fi Concept Albums Come Swing from My Branches: January 10-15, 2011 Phoebe Sketches Come Swing from My Branches: January 17-22, 2011 January Wallpaper Sketches Come Swing from My Branches: January 24-29, 2011 Tigerlily and Moustachio by Dirk Tiede Come Swing from My Branches: January 31 - February 5, 2011 Arisia Photos Come Swing from My Branches: February 7-12, 2011 February 2011 Wallpaper Come Swing from My Branches: February 14-29, 2011 Arisia Sing-Along Come Swing from My Branches: February 21-26, 2011 Dirk Tiede Draws Werewolves Come Swing from My Branches: February 28 - March 5, 2011 Which SH Characters Can Dance? Come Swing from My Branches: March 7-12, 2011 March 2011 Wallpaper Come Swing from My Branches: March 14-19, 2011 Space Come Swing from My Branches: March 21-26, 2011 New Orleans Sketches Come Swing from My Branches: March 28 - April 2, 2011 New Orleans Thumbnails If I Ran the Zoo: April 4-9, 2011 Gender-Reversed SH by JP Chabot Guest Week by Andrew Farago Warcraft Were-Tip by Beth Bever If I Ran The Zoo: April 18-23, 2011 Champions Moustachio by Beth Bever If I Ran the Zoo: April 25-30, 2011 Jason Thompson Presents: Wolfcopter! If I Ran the Zoo: May 2-7, 2011 May 2011 Wallpaper If I Ran the Zoo: May 9-14, 2011 The Hot Goblin Brotherhood If I Ran the Zoo: May 16-21, 2011 Dada Horse by Mark V If I Ran the Zoo: May 23-28, 2011 Unity Pony by Dave Van Domelen If I Ran the Zoo: May 30 - June 4, 2011 Tip by Rachel Spitler and Michael Brewster If I Ran the Zoo: June 6-11, 2011 June 2011 Wallpaper If I Ran the Zoo: June 13-18, 2011 Unity by Uncle Squirrelly If I Ran the Zoo: June 20-25, 2011 Tip in Afghanistan by Sandy Caesar If I Ran the Zoo: June 27 - July 2, 2011 Zoo Thumbnails If I Ran the Zoo: July 4-9, 2011 July 2011 Wallpaper If I Ran the Zoo: July 11-16, 2011 AsLAN Pencils If I Ran the Zoo: July 18-23, 2011 Pony Moustachio by Taylor Burdette If I Ran the Zoo: July 25-30, 2011 Intervention! If I Ran the Zoo: August 1-6, 2011 OCEAN Preview If I Ran the Zoo: August 8-13, 2011 Unity, Sweetheart and Remy by Magnolia Porter If I Ran the Zoo: August 15-20, 2011 August 2011 Wallpaper If I Ran the Zoo: August 22-27, 2011 Puppies! If I Ran the Zoo: August 29 - September 3, 2011 Young Tip Doodle Once and Future: September 5-10, 2011 Ponies Once and Future: September 12-17, 2011 September 2011 Wallpaper Once and Future: September 19-24, 2011 The Archives Have Moved!

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