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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Amy Fiori (amy82986) says:

What language is Gerda speaking?  I know "liebchen" is German, but I also know that in German "no" isn't "nie" and "yes" isn't "doch".  Some related language?

woozy (woozy) says:

There's oodles of dialects of german.  This isn't hoch-deutsch but probably a "lower" form-- Perhaps Sweeserdoosch.  Doch doesn't mean "yes"; it means therefore.  ... or depending on context  ....|en|doch

woozy (woozy) says:

....but I also know that in German "no" isn't "nie"

And in English "no" isn't  "nope", "naw", "ungh-uh", etc.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right", Bob Dylan)

Shirtless guys are facing off to fight now!
Semi-nude!  Wholly neat!
But if we don't hurry down there right now,
We won't get a good seat!

Just call it reasearch, out in the field ...
We'll watch 'em closely and keep our eyes peeled!
One thing we need to make this outing ideal ...
We need ice, for the fight!

Margaritas, spritzers, gin and tonics ...
There's just one thing that we lack!
Let's go visit Greta in Cryonics!
Bet she'll pick up the slack!

Down to river, we'll feast our eyes!
Research the crud outta both of these guys!
We've got liquor and mixing supplies ...
We need ice, for the fight!

Emily L. (astraflame) says:

Also, are they meaning to watch the drinks melt while watching the dudes wrestle? Because otherwise they should drink the drinks instead of letting them go to waste...

Brian Rogers (billionsix) says:

New Character!

Sexy New Character!

M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

It's all going to be over by the time anyone actually manages to finish prepping and gets there, isn't it?

dexitroboper (dexitroboper) says:

Frozen Walt Disney (of course), Abby Normal, ... Moon, Futurama ..ute.. Who else?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says:

New Character!

Sexy New Character!
Heidi Adams (maamsmom) says:

Doch, means Yes to a negatively stated question:

"You didn't do your homework?"  Does yes mean "yes I didn't do it." or "yes I did do it."

Doch solves the problem by meaning "Yes, I did do it."

So "Doch" in response to "Don't you have ice?" means "Yes, I have ice."

Heidi Adams (maamsmom) says:

Also, Nei is a casual Nein.

Michael Hoffmann (syndic) says:

it does look like german - "nie" is "never" (which would make sense if whoever's at the other end of the line just asked "are you kidding me?"), "liebchen" could be translated as "sweety" and "doch" means "yes" if you're contradicting a no. as in "don't you have ice?" - "yes, we do". That yes would be "doch" in german.

That being said, greetings from germany. Love the comic (and narbonic and lil mel too^^)

casimir (casimir) says:

Love the background labels! Fun! 'specially "Abby Normal".

@M.Alan Thomas ll: I've had the same suspicion, but maybe S & J are just doing a bit of time-stretching along this story line. If so, they're pushing the legal limit. 


Jacob Haller (jwgh) says:

@dexitroboper: I make it:

Panel 1: *an the *an ('Stan the Man'?), Walt Disney

Panel 2: Abby Normal (which I didn't get originally)

Panel 3: ? Moon, Futurama Writers

Regarding Moon, I don't know of any link between the Unification Church and cryonics, so I like to think it's a reference to the nifty recent movie Moon.

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Ah, background gags :) And yeah, given the *spoiler excised* in Moon, I'm going to guess that this is a reference to that.
Rob (rrreed) says: You want girlie drinks, Marcie? How about frozen daiquirís made using liquid nitrogen!

And given Shaenon's background—not to mention the amount of time travel involved—couldn't "Moon" refer to "Sailor Moon"?
Naomi H (starbright) says:

A woman named Gerda in Cryonics... would that be a reference to The Snow Queen?

Rob (acoustic_rob) says:

*an the *an probably isn't Stan the Man, as Stan Musial and Stan Lee are both alive and kicking. 

Unless...Shaenon and Jeff were thinking of Ted Williams, whose head *was* frozen after his death, and brain-farted the wrong Hall of Fame outfielder's name. 

I also agree that by the time everybody gets down to the river the fun will be over.  Either that, or they'll have decided to settle their differences with a spirited game of backgammon.

Rob (rrreed) says: @Rob Vines—Speaking of "down to the river": side-paddle wheeler or dirigible?
Lee-Anne Phillips (lioness) says:

Just thought we'd all like to know about this.

Zombie Rights

Minneapolis will pay seven zombies $165,000 in a federal lawsuit the zombies filed after being arrested protesting mindless consumerism. Police charged them with carrying simulated "weapons of mass destruction" - aka sound equipment - and dismissed their legal rights with obscenities.

Lee-Anne Phillips (lioness) says:

German "nie" means "never." Makes a strange sort of sense, which is probably all one can expect.

Bill McGann (odo) says:

By the time they all get there, Tip & Konstantin will have kissed & made up... hopefully not literally :o

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: @Bill: come on, lets not give the yaoi fangirls a heart attack here.
Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

You know, it was only through watching the movie for about 20 or 30 minutes on Bravo that I actually understood the line in the second panel. hilarious, actually.  I'm amused.

...although Tip is apparently so hot that Even The Lesbians Want Him.  Quick, readers!  To the Skin Horse TVTropes page!

Nathan Wilson (nathan) says:

She's interested because of Tip right? I don't think Konstantin is girly enough for Gerda to be interested in him.

And, I remember the kinsey scale vaguely, with 6 being exclusively homosexual, and the wikipedia article tells me there is an additional grade: X, for asexual people. So, is this mythical 7 extra homosexual? or asexual?

Hmm, she uses the word "profound" to describe her type of lesbian. Definitions of profound seem to always mean something really deep. Emotionally, intellectually, or even physically. So does the Kinsey 7 mean she's attracted to those who "think" female irregardless of whether they actually are female? That could apply to Tip in a couple ways.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

See, I'm thinking Gerda wants Konstantin for the accent. I could see them going out on a date to hunt for moose and squirrel.

And I should start running before the rest of the forum starts beating me.

dexitroboper (dexitroboper) says:

And I should start running before the rest of the forum starts beating me.

That trick never works.



So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh.
Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: Before Gerda, the only known examples of the Kinsey Seven were artificial low half-life specimens, which could only be synthesized under strict laboratory conditions.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

And I should start running before the rest of the forum starts beating me.

That trick never works.

Now here's something we hope you'll really like ...

(TUNE: "Tears In Heaven", Eric Clapton)

I don't care for men
I'm a Kinsey Type Seven ...
That's a les-bi-an,
Turned up clear to eleven!

But still, I might
Come watch this fight!
Tip and K can still excite
Kinsey Seven!

Let's go watch the brawl
Between Tip and Konstantin!
See the free-for-all!
Last Y-Chromosome Standin'!

While sipping these
Long Island Teas ...
It's a sight that's sure to please
Kinsey Seven!

Chab Guthrie (chab) says:

Would someone please comment on Dr. Lee's great expression in panel 4?

Way to go, Shaenon!

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

The fist, the eyebrows...


I still say "the sounds of our grapple-making" is the best line ever written anywhere, too.

Philip Cohen (treesong2) says:

@Derek: What movie is that?

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Gerda in panel 2 looks exactly like Darkseid, back when Jack Kirby was drawing him.   A lesbian Darkseid would possibly be the scariest creature in modern literature.

Jude M (tohubohu) says:

Thus proving that even profound lesbians are not immune to genderf*ck.

Being a Kinsey 6 pegged so hard all the way over it might as well be a 7 myself, I say hail and welcome to my sister in womanlove, Gerda!

Wayne (wayne) says:

Why do I have a feeling, that after all of this prep work, that by the time they get down to the river that the grabble-making will all be over and Kip & K will be sitting on the bank smoking a cig?

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

@ Philip: The movie "Kinsey" - the bio pic about the famous sex researcher starring Liam Neeson.

Slow clap on the Tears in Heaven filk, Ed. Funny with just the right amount of tastelessness.

Vlad Taltos (flyingfish) says:

I know a lesbian couple who LOVES m/m slashfic. They'll frequently write their own stuff by each of them taking one of the characters and playing it out. I haven't been able to figure that one out either.

Kate Cunningham (katfairy) says:

Aw, she tried so hard, too.  Maybe an effort grade?

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Aww... Nick and Dr. Lee make the most adorable couple!

If they aren't one yet, they will be.

If they won't be, they should be.

If they shouldn't be, then Tigerlily Jones will turn Nick into a Transformer.

woozy (woozy) says:

I suppose the obiquity of "The River" as a known destination that it gets its own exit sign is a non sequiter.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "(Love Is) The Tender Trap" (Jimmy Van Heusen & Sammy Cahn, The Tender Trap, 1955)

You see two women have a talk
They aren't there to drool or gawk
Life is more than men, so why not discuss the rest?
That groovy movie
Passes the Bechdel Test

No matter what your Kinsey score
You know the world can offer more—
For scintillating repartee—than a hairy chest
You want a film
That passes the Bechdel Test

"The Kids Are Alright" passes, so does "Julia"
But titles mislead: don't let "Nuns on the Run" fool ya

But now it's Tip and Konstantin
A muddy, grapple-making scene
Such studly pulchritude
Could cause cardiac arrest
So Gerda, Marcie and Ginny Lee
Will say, with Sweetheart and Unity,
"Oh, well, it's swell,
To hell with the Bechdel Test!"

Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Sounds like a Japanese T-Shirt Slogan:

"Tell Us Of Vehicular Perversions"

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ai yi yi yi yi....
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Land Of The Dead", Voltaire)

We've climbed into the car now, we're off to have some fun!
To the grapple-making guys, we're taking Highway 41,
One thing I'd like to ask you, although it may sound sick ...
If you don't mind now, please tell us how you in-ter-face with Nick!

     Is it grand overhead?
     Are your high times "mile-high"?
     Are your visits full of sensual
     "Explosions In The Sky"?
     Is it grand overhead?
     Can he "keep it up" 'til dawn?
     You can tell for sure that vehicular
     Perversions turn me on!

There's Marcie and there's Gerda, with big and cheesy smiles!
Their main concern is how you earn your frequent-flier miles!
Bechdel can go to hell, yeah!  Virginia's looking pained!
It's the last time that she'll drive us, 'cause we're driving her insane!
     (repeat CHORUS)

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: E.T.: And there's several existing designs for Osprey Transformers, too.
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

Does a reference to the Bechdel test count as breaking the fourth wall?

N B (davecloneseven) says:

Haven't we already seen the "preserved human brain inside a transformer" bit?

Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says:

Hard to talk about work with people who's work is all Top Secret, too.  *L*   Besides, who wants to talk about work when you can talk about guys???

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

Google 'Transformers KISS Players,' @drhistory.  Go on, I'll wait here.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Shanks: Or a future Car Talk CD.

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

@drhistory: Don't take rainpacket up on her offer if you want to avoid nightmares.  Just sayin'.

Paul Lenoue (palenoue) says:

"Vehicular Perversions"  Someone should mention this to the Top Gear people, they might expand their "Celebrity in a Reasonably-Priced Car" segment.

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

@woozy:  Good eyes, Woozy.  I didn't even notice that at first, but "The River" does sound like a pretty generic term for the local river. 

I bet our sneaky co-authors didn't want to specify a specific location, fearing that some crazy Skin Horse fans would Google it and then actually go there and upset the poor unsuspecting locals! 

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: What makes Kiss Players truly special is that it's NOT some fan-made thing combining hentacles with Transformers. It's an official Takara product combining hentacles with Transformers. (All cars, though, no Ospreys.)
Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

OMG lookit Dr. Lee's FACE. Dead giveaway, lady, deeeeead giveaway. Might want to check those catalogs out.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Okay... I know she's lying in the third panel, which subtly hints she's lying in the first panel and previous strip.

Jay Blanc (jayblanc) says:

She has a Proteus Complex?

Lee-Anne Phillips (lioness) says:

Well, Nick can always join the Lesbian Avengers, then, because of the thng in a drawer rule, catalogues or not. So he might have a shot...

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Methinks that that just became the fastest car trip ever.
Adam (10-0-0-1) says: @Lee-Anne: Also if you go by the anatomy of the refueling ports Nick is now mechanically a female now.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I've Got No Strings" from Pinocchio, by Harline and Washington)

I've got no thing,
You understand?
No little guy,
No right-hand man!
Other guys hang out and swing,
But I've just got no thing!

Stuck playing online Hearts,
Writing in my LJ blog ...
Don't want replacement parts
Bought from Gerda's catalog!

Can't pee or procreate,
Only stick's my flying yoke!
Twelve-two-two thousand eight,
When we did the cockpit joke!

I've got no thing
For her to see,
To make her sigh
Listen to the readers sing,
I've got no filking thing!

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

That's thoroughly filked, Ed. LOL.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

"So, Nick, what do you think about mid-flight refeuling?  What kind of nozzle works best for you?"

"We are not having this parking conversation."

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

Wow, this whole non-*cough*relationship sure makes for a new rude definition of "O-ring."

Wayne (wayne) says:

In-flight refueling gender depends on the American branch of service.  Air force planes are female, the refueling plane has a probe with wings that an operator guides in to a door.  Navy planes are male with a probe sticking out of the plane somewhere and the refueling plane has a drogue that slips over it.  If Nick is a standard Osprey, I think that's Marines, which is probably Navy, though I don't know how Ospreys refuel.

N B (davecloneseven) says:

In any case, wouldn't that technically be his mouth?

Rob (acoustic_rob) says:

Stock V-22s are definitely "male":

Although Nick doesn't seem to have the right...erm...'equipment' anymore.  See, for example, this strip:

Terry Smith (wcfan) says:

When he first started complaining about this, I thought - wait until they install his vulcan cannon. He won't miss his thing a bit.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

sleepyjohn wins the internet. And the bill for dry cleaning my bed.

Paul Lenoue (palenoue) says:

_Every_ time he takes his shirt off?


Is this why he wears blouses instead?

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Ev'ry time we say goodbye" (Cole Porter, Seven Lively Arts, 1944)

Ev'ry time I doff my shirt
They cheer a little
When I'm wearing just a skirt
They seem to leer a little

A friendly tussle
Which should be hand-to-hand
Requires such hustle
To stay man-to-man

Ev'ry time I doff my shirt
They shout "Hooray"
I'm here to fight and not to flirt
But there's a crowd today

Shoulda brought the puppets
'Cause this scene,
I mean,
It's really f****d up.  It's
Ev'ry time I doff my
No more taking off my
Ev'ry time I doff my shirt

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:


P C (salda007) says:

Sweetheart looks SO HAPPY...


...Oh, hell, who am I kidding.  They ALL look like that...

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: Theme to "Super Chicken")

Ev'ry time he takes his shirt
Off, all the women start to flirt!
They're texting and they're letting ev'ryone know!
Still the mood it kinda kills
When they start tucking dollar bills!
For Skin Horse Gun Show!

Please don't interrupt their masculine debating!
Oh, such excitement they are estrogenerating!

Come on ladies, take a ride
And hurry to the riverside,
Where we can have some drinks and watch a fun show!
Drooling over K and Tip!
We hope their lower garments rip!
For Skin Horse Gun Show!
For Skin Horse Gun Show!

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

The spectators beat the combatants to the river!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:


Three songs I'm surprised no one went with:
  1. Shall We Gather By the River? (Gospel)
  2. I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt (90's)
  3. And of course any number of songs from Spamalot, simply because of the use of the word Shrubbery.
Oh, and Ed? I've never heard of Super Chicken before. Ni!


casimir (casimir) says:

Consider yourself lucky, Andrew. You don't have that idiotic melody coursing through your brain! Curse you Ed Gedeon!!

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Ed: Super Chicken!  Brilliant!  Classic!  Now work in the themes from Roger Ramjet, Tom Slick, George of the Jungle and Underdog, and the world will explode from greatness.

Kris Overstreet (redneckgaijin) says:

Every shirt I shed

Every top I shred

Anywhere I go

Every girl I know

They'll be watching me


With my clothing peeled

With my chest revealed

I won't be ignored

With their martinis poured

They'll be watching me


They all want to see

My anatomy

They all want to guess

Why I wear a dress


The alert is on

When my top is gone

Be it east or west

When I get undressed

They'll be watching me


(I think y'all can figure out the tune...)

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:


Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

And, off panel, a river otter is snapping over her shoulder, "Will you hurry up, Constance?  We're going to miss the WHOLE THING!"

Peg Robinson (peg) says:

To the tune of "Down by the Riverside"


We're gonna lay back and watch the show,

Down by the riverside (3X)

We're gonna lay back and watch the show

Down by the riverside, gonna study the muscle show.

We're sure gonna study the muscle show,

Gonna watch Tip and Konstantine go, 

We're sure gonna study the muscle show.


We're going to drink down our girly drinks

Down by the riverside (3x)

We're going to drink down our girly drinks

Down by the riverside, and bet how the fight will go.

We're sure gonna bet how the fight will go

Gonna trade jokes while the drinks do flow

We're sure gonna bet how the fight will go.


Convulse with anger, those muscles will,

Down by the riverside (3x)

Convulse with anger, those muscles will

Down by the riverside, and we won't be sorry at all.

We won't be sorry, no, not at all

Though Tip and Konstantine's rage may fall

We won't be sorry, no, not at all.


We're gonna lay back and watch the show,

Down by the riverside (3x)

We're gonna lay back and watch the show,

Down by the riverside --

Oh, man, see the muscles flow!

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Andrew, you don't know Super Chicken?  For shame!  Only one of the great cartoon superhero-genre parodies of the 20th century.  You know that when the chicken hero is named Henry Cabot Henhouse the Third, it's going to be good.  In a bad way.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Ed.

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

Unity's drinking? I never thought I'd say this about a storyline with shirtless mudwrestling and helicopter crushes, but this won't end well.

Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:

Sweetheart's tail should be wagging at about 600rpm or so....

John Wells (johnwwells) says:

Between "a type of lesbian so profound it was once thought not to exist in nature," "to hell with the Bechdel test", and "Ladies! Do not be making our muscles convulse in anger!" - this has got to be the most quotable week of Skin Horse yet.

woozy (woozy) says:

Aw, Sweetheart looks happy!

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

 Why is Sweetheart happy about this?

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Same reason she enjoys the goblin romance. Some things are just wicked awesome.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: George of the Jungle theme (Stan Worth & Sheldon Allman, 1967,

Man-man-manly be-rippedness
We all think it's fine
Bodies will entwine

Man-man-manly be-rippedness
They're removing clothes
Watch them strike a pose

We will glisten and sweat, you get it yet?
There's nothing to see, so let us be
As I straddle Tip, in the mud I'll slip
With my thick chest hair.  Why would you care?

Man-man-manly be-rippedness
Muscles gonna shine
Margarita time
Margarita time!

woozy (woozy) says:

I don't care why Sweetheart is happy.  I'm just happy that she is happy.

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

Konstantin is approaching epic levels of not-getting-it-ness.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

OK, since we've done "George Of The Jungle", and "Super Chicken", we must now complete the trilogy ...

(TUNE: Theme to "Tom Slick")

Hot Tip!
Hot Tip!
Tip and K will get
Semi-naked, moan and sweat!


Hot Tip!
Hot Tip!
Now we need more margaritas while we watch the fight!
Grab a seat, because we might be here all day and night
For ... hot Tip!
Hot Tip!

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

And, just because you asked for it ...

(TUNE: Theme to "Roger Ramjet", which is itself set to the tune of "Yankee Doodle")

Dennis Wilkin and Konstantin
Fighting by the river!
Muscles straining, sweaty skin,
And all the ladies quiver!

     Tip and K, they fight all day!
     It's so entertaining!
     Hear the ladies shout, "Hooray!"
     And none of them's complaining!

Says K, "I wrestle Tip to ground
And bind his arms with strings-purse!
I straddle him to hold him down ..."
Says Tip, "You're making things worse!"

     Tip and K, no one can say
     Which one is the neatest!
     Hear the ladies shout, "Hooray!
     We need more margaritas!"

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Why is Sweetheart happy about this?

Konstantin has a very hairy chest.  Take it from there.

Wayne (wayne) says:

All of my Saturday morning cartoons from the 60's and 60's (and 80's, let's be honest) come rushing back!

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Ed: The ladies may be filled with antici . . . pation of a naked wrestling match, but I feel totally spent now.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@Ed: Thanks for "Tom Slick".

Tom: I don't know the meaning of the word 'quit'!

Granny: You don't know the meaning of the word 'underwear' either!

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

Normally I'm loathe to critique genius, but I have to say that the last line to your first stanza reads better as; "The ladies all a-quiver!"

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Carl: You're right, it does sound better that way.  I'd like to re-write a lot of my filks, considering that I throw them together off the top of my head, just after I get up in the morning.

Kendal Reed (auditors) says:

Give the writers some credit, lady-dudes: they beat the Bechdel test a while back. Depending on your definition of "a conversation about something other than a man," it was probably first done within the first week of strips, and definitely by the time of the rampage storyline.

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile