(TUNE: "The Ballad Of Jed Clampett", Paul Henning)
Now, harken to the story 'bout a dude named Nick; He wrote fan fiction, makin' ev'rybody sick! His twisted tales, they were gettin' out of hand, So the moderators said that his butt was gettin' banned!
(From the site, that is ... Account cancelled ... IP blocked.)
Well, the next thing you know, Nick's brain is in a plane; The Skin Horse team said, "This is just insane!" So Nick's now a member of the Union of Machines, And they're now on a mission down to ol' New Orleans!
(Louisiana, that is ... oil-soaked pelicans ... drunk sorority chicks.)
Ah, Methods of Rationality. Might I provide a slightly more in-depth review than 'best fic ever'? Don't worry, I do mean ‘slightly’.
I follow that Methods of Rationality fanfic, too, and can confirm that the plot is great fun, pretty good, and very solidly constructed. The prose, contrariwise? Nowhere near as good. Its quality fluctuates between ‘okay’ and ‘acceptable, but far from good’. This is enough to keep it out of _my_ top ten, but you may be less bothered. Finally, there's what for want of a better word I shall call the work's attitute. A good test for whether you'll is probably this: if you could choose between a lecture by Richard Dawkins and one by David Attenborough, which one would you choose? If you would choose Dawkins, you will definitely enjoy this fic; among Attenborough fans I think the mileage will vary. Mine does certainly does. Still reading, though.
----
Andrew: niiiiiice. :-D
Rob (rrreed) says:
Remember, Sweetheart, that taking Tip along was your idea!
Oh dear gods. He's been eaten by the Big Easy! They'll find him later on bedecked with beads, wearing a bandolero of test-tube tequila glowshots, three fresh tattoos on his arms and the phone numbers of seven different girls written on the backs of his hands in sharpy-marker.
...and all this before reaching Bourbon Street. I freakin' LOVE New Orleans! **beams**
Shaenon tells the tale Back when she was eleven, She could not curtail How her engine was revvin'! Nintendo was What gave this buzz ... And she tells the tale because, Tip's in Heaven!
Captain Wilkin's gone, 'Cause this town is like Heaven! Turns his mojo on, Cranks it up to eleven! Drunk girls from these Sororities, Tip will bed in twos or threes ... He's in Heaven!
Rob (rrreed) says:
I was just thinking—is Shaenon going to have us playing "Where's Waldo?" with Tip and the National Council of Lonely Sorority Girls in the Big Easy for the next couple of weeks?
Now we're here in New Orleans! 'Midst a dozen party scenes, Tip has vanished, what the hell? So we call him on his cell ... Hear him squeal above the din, Forty-five mere seconds in!
Music sounds and fashions whirl ... Tip took off behind some girl ... Then to other girls was led ... Now he's handcuffed to the bed! Fruity syrup makes them grin, Forty-five mere seconds in!
@ Casimir: It's hot in New Orleans and there are a lot of street performers and tourists looking to cut loose. I think a person wearing a hoodie would attract *more* attention than a stitched-up zombie girl.
@Rachel - I'm sure if Unity had a love life with a creature other than a fellow zombie, the relationship would end in much the same way as male members of the Latrodectus genus...
(TUNE: "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair", Rodgers & Hammerstein)
He's gonna lick that jam right offa her thigh, It tough to get it all, but he's gonna try! He's gonna lick that jam right offa her thigh, And other parts nearby!
He's gonna take that treat and spread it around, He's goin' back and forth, go up and go down! He's gonna take that treat and spread it around, He wants to satisfy!
Raspberry jam is sweet! (Spread it out, spread it out!) Don't wanna stain the sheet! (Get it out, get it out!) Eat it all, then there's dessert! (Yeah, Tipster!)
He's gonna lick that jam right offa her thigh, I betcha Unity won't understand why He's gonna lick that jam right offa her thigh, He'll Eta Beta Pi!
Nar, human is the other, other white meat. You can save hundreds of lives by telling a dragon that pork tastes a whole lot like people, they have more meat on 'em, and that the Georges get a whole lot less upset with you. Pineapple, a sweet cherry glaze, or apple sauce in either case.
Okay, nobody else is saying it so I'll take this one for the team. (It still counts as taking one for the team, even if you wait for someone else to take it first, right?)
Is Sweetheart really sure that Tip's not eating them girls? It's just that he's got quite an ... appetite.
Says Sweetheart, "Let's depart, 'Cause this city is a trap!" Tip is in some young girl's lap, Won't be happy, if that chap gets the clap!
Friday night; find a flight, Do our job, and then vamoose! Though your arm is coming loose, Get a move on, or you might get seduced!
They'll have sex with you! Things they want to do Will be indiscreet, So let's get off the street! All these girls from school Will break ev'ry rule, So you maybe should snack on a passing mule!
Is it just me, or is Sweetheart freaking out just a wee little bit? Also... if there's ANY city in all the world where Unity *WOULD* have a sex drive, it's New Orleans. Absolutely.
(And WTF's with the shoe ads? **growlgrowl** Stupid spammers.)
Dudes, don't respond to the spambots. It just weirds things up when I delete them.
Rincewind (outworldcats) says:
Hey folks,
I just ran across a comic on Diana Nock's "Intrepid Girlbot" that I thought some of you guys would really enjoy. It's a guest-strip by Tom Siddell of "Gunnerkrig Court", and it's kind of sad and touching.
http://www.intrepidgirlbot.com/2010/10/29/guest-comic-by-tom-siddell/
I got all teary-eyed when I read it, and that ain't easy for me.
Hey Jeffrey! I just wanted to say I picked up Machine of Death, and "Torn Apart and Devoured by Lions" is one of the best things I've read in years. The leonine pajamas were what pushed it over the edge. Sublime work!
Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says:
Thanks, Spencer. I keep going back and forth on it because once you've been tinkering with it for a long time it's hard to get a good objective look at it, but in the end, I'm happy how it turned out. And the Chris Hastings illustration the editors picked for it is just heavenly.
I read Machine of Death too! I will admit I didn't actually look to see who had written stories and I was crazy excited when I stumbled onto both of your stories, though I liked "Prison Knife Fight" a little better than "Torn Apart and Devoured by Lions." The only story I liked better than "Prison Knife Fight" was "Nothing," and that might have just been my obsession with Ireland seeping through.
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