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Smithson Thus Far... ·

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: . . .
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Let me guess ... Dr. Goodness is a woman whose first name is Shirley, and she and her sister Mercy are out partying with Tip.  In fact, they'll like him so much they'll turn into stalkers, and follow him all the days of his life.

(TUNE: "City Of New Orleans", Steve Goodman)

Flying down to New Orleans this morning,
Taking orders from a swarm of bees ...
Try to get some info on the Cypress
From Dr. Goodness, Justice of the Peace!

And now we're here, and as we feared,
Tip has up and disappeared,
These lonely girls just think that he's sublime!
But one thing that's not understood,
Why a swamp would wed a dude ...
I bet 'round here it happens all the time!

Good morning, New Orleans, what's up now?
We'll show you how your taxes have been spent ...
We're the secret social service squad called Skin Horse,
And we're here to help you, we're the government!

Mark Chapman (aardvark86) says:

@Ed: re: your Goodness pun ... *groan*

Wayne (wayne) says:

Brilliant, Ed!  If there's one thing that I love about autobiographies, it's when I can hear the voice of the writer as I read them.  I've only found two so far: George Burns' 'Gracie', and Walter Cronkite's autobiography.  This had the perfect Arlo Guthrie voice, and I would love to see him do it.  Even more so, I'd like to see Woody perform it, and since Skin Horse obviously has no problem with the dead...

woozy (woozy) says:

>>  your Goodness pun ... *groan*

Although I never met the Justice of the Peace nor the other sisters, I have met Mercy who runs a *very* unusual aromatherapy clinic.  She fixed me a strange infusion of hot water and the skin and bone marrow of an Australian tree dwelling marsupial.  It wasn't as foul tasting as it sounds but the bits of fur floating about where disconcerting.  I asked her if she could have put it through a strainer but she was rather adamant on that point.

Anyway, The aromatherapy shop is gone now, but I'm glad Shirley and the others are not departed or gone. 

woozy (woozy) says:

Maybe, Dr. Goodness' first name is Truth and her office is on American Way?

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

Ah yes; the koala tea of Mercy.  It isn't strained, I take it.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

But if you let go of your mug of koala tea, does it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath?

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Ed, that may be the best filk of all. 

woozy (woozy) says:

Dr. Nut Goodness?

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: I just adore Sweetheart's annoyance at this.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: ....???
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Daniel", Elton John)

Skin Horse is in New Orleans, they were told
They should talk to Doctor Goodness, eigh-ty years old ...
But ... I gotta say Doctor Goodness looks good!
And he don't look eighty ... must be that good Cajun food!

Oh, Doctor Goodness, you are ... so hot for sure!
Hot in both sex appeal ... and in tem-per-a-ture!
Now Unity ... says, "Some of that for me!"
Doctor, you're a nut, like it says on your tee!

casimir (casimir) says:

As ever, a tasty piece of lore with my morning coffee, grace a SH!

John Burke (johnnyb) says:

That is one annoyed dog.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Oooh, he's shiny... but whoah, Drs. Goodness and Nut?  "And goodness and nut shall follow me all the days of my life, And I shall dwell in the House of the Rising Sun forever." Hmm; interesting.

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

Manual labor? Is that what they call it nowadays?

(Sorry, all the speculation and no pay-off yet has dirtied my mind)

woozy (woozy) says:

>>>That is one annoyed dog.

One!  One Annoyed Dog! Bwah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

... sorry.  writing boring login procedures and my mind is turning to mush....



So we're going to get some talking squirrels?

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

...I'm trying to think up puns using the phrase "mostly 'armless" but I'm too busy giggling to get them right.  

The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

To arms! To arms!

riiiip thup

One arm! One arm! 


The Auld Grump

Ben N (mittfh) says:

I must say, he's taking the rather unusual appearance of Unity rather well - perhaps he's just totally confused and 'going with the flow'. I love his "I'll get you an asprin" comment! Bonus points if he can sew :)

And after meeting Unity, conversing with a talking dog (Sweetheart) probably won't come as much of a surprise...

Rob (rrreed) says:

"Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!"
"'Tis but a scratch!"
"A scratch? Your arm's off!"
"No, it isn't!"
"Well, what's that then?"
"I've had worse."
"You liar!"
"Come on, you pansy!"
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: . . .
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Hold My Hand", Hootie and the Blowfish)

With a little luck, and some elbow grease,
We'll get to Dr. Goodness,
The Justice of the Peace ...
With a little tact, and a lot of force
We'll find out why the Cypress
Got married and divorced!

So ... you probably won't be harmed!
So ... you notice that I'm unarmed!

Lend a hand!
(Need a needle and some thread!)
Lend a hand!
(I'm alive, and not undead!)
Lend a hand!
(Please excuse me, I'm all thumbs!)
Get me an aspirin ... an aspirin,
And maybe some Tums!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Ben, this is New Orleans in a world where mad science is real (in addition to being decadent et al). He probably sees weirder things before breakfast.
Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

The Doctor should be taken into custody for disarming a federal agent. *rimshot*

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

But Unity is being her usual charming, disarming self.

casimir (casimir) says:

Assuming Dr.Nut man has the right to bare arms, he's free to bear the right arm.

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

@Ed; Somehow, I was expecting Tom Lehr's "I Hold Your Hand in Mine".  I dunno why.

Ben N (mittfh) says:

@Dave - True, especially if he happens to know the location of a sentient forest! Meanwhile, I'm loving all the arm jokes :)

woozy (woozy) says:

Two!  Two annoyed dogs!  Bwah! Ha ha ha ha.

Mike Kozar (mikekozar) says:

Heh.  This scene reminds me of "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality", where Science Harry Potter witnesses somebody turning into a cat and flips out. 

woozy (woozy) says:

Well, it makes sense.  Just because we think both Unity and Sweetheart exist in the same catergory (weird things that exist in Skin Horse) doesn't mean they exist in the same category for other folks.  In fact, I'm pretty sure nearly any category where zombies are expected (Anne Rice Novels, the Buffy-verse, horror movies, etc.) talking dogs will not be and vice-versa.

Or to put it another way, Hellmouths don't imply rayguns.

Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says:

@ woozy: It's funney you say that because I just finished rereading Garth Nix's Old Kingdom trilogy, wihich *does* have both zombies and a talking dog.  The dog is considered much odder than the Dead though.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: . . .
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "And Your Bird Can Sing", The Beatles)

I don't have a problem with the zombie,
But this dog can talk!
That is really weird!
It's really ... weird!

When confronted with the unexpected,
I let out a squawk!
Stranger than I feared!
It's more than ... feared!

I can live with voodoo,
Zombies and Anne Rice!
But this thing that you do,
It's not nice!  It's not nice!

I could deal with strangness in this city
Where the dead can walk,
'Til this thing appeared!
She's really ... weird!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Rayguns, however, can be a handy way to deal with hellmouths.
casimir (casimir) says:

Third tier---San Francisco wierd.

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

I was going to go with Vegas weird, Casimir.  Or is that tier 4?

Ben N (mittfh) says:

Ho hum...

Someone evidently read the comment conversation I was involved in yesterday... :)

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

I was going to go with Sunnydale weird, where a talking dog is nothing: there was a talking ventriloquist's dummy one time, and at least three different kinds of zombies.

Euel Ball (euel) says:

Still no reference to "Arm Fall Off Lad" or Gaspode?  I'd be more freaked out by a self dismembering zombie than a conversational canine, but that's just me...

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Euel: Dogs can't talk.  Gaspode'll tell you himself.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

What? They're all zombies?

Somebody warn Tip!

EDIT: Then again, he apparently hit on Unity once, so he probably wouldn't mind.

woozy (woozy) says:

That'd explain the pile of bodies Unity ends up being piled upon.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Huh.
Rob (rrreed) says:

"This breaking news just in…

"Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead!"
Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Bicycle race" by Freddy Mercury (Queen, Jazz, 1978)

Sewing kit, sewing kit, sewing kit
I want to use a sewing kit
I want to sew my arm
I want to use a sewing kit
This arm of mine has come to harm

You say black I say white
You say bark I say bite
You say live I say dead
Let me nom on your head
I like brains for breakfast
You're all sweaty and hot
Dr. Goodness you are not
Help us find Peyrehorade
Married Cypress, then divorced
Clearly this calls for Skin Horse
But first I gotta have a

Sewing kit, sewing kit, sewing kit
I want to use a sewing kit
I want to sew my arm
I want to use a sewing kit
This arm of mine has come to harm

Eric Burns (ericburns) says: That was pretty cold on Sweetheart's part. Her attitude's worsening. I think she needs a good cathartic experience to get everything out of her system. You know... RAMPAGE!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Kay:  Very well done!  You are the champion, my friend ...

(TUNE: "Jessie's Girl", Rick Springfield)

Talked to Dr. Nut, yeah,
Told him it's Dr. Goodness we seek ...
When he heard Sweetheart talking, he started to freak,
Then he calmed down and he told us, we should've come last week!

Yeah, she was coming down the stairs and tripped,
So last Friday, we laid her in the crypt ...
Which, the way things are going in this town,
Won't keep her down ...

Okay, but does she have a sewing kit?
I say, is there a sewing kit?
Where can I find a needle and thread?

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: It's New Orleans...not only would nobody notice if Sweetheart rampaged, they probably wouldn't even notice if UNITY rampaged.
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: I do love Sweetheart's "nice of her to go and die on me" expression.
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

It's tough to be team leader when all your contacts keep going non-metabolic on you!

casimir (casimir) says:

I'm curious to know why DR.Nut man is down on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor in a dead JP's office.

Doesn't he know about Swiffer Sweepers?

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Ed: Thanks, buy the one thing that's certain is that you will, you will rock us!  I wish you could have come to the Skin Horse 2 book party.  Everybody talked about you.  Youd'a blushed.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

So. Dr. Nut gets rattled by people's arms falling off but not by talking dogs?  **headscratch**

Rob (rrreed) says:

"This breaking news just in…

"Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still valiantly holding on in his fight to remain dead!"
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:
"I'm curious to know why DR.Nut man is down on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor in a dead JP's office."

I'd be very interested to see if anyone could answer that.
Joseph W. (alberich) says:

He'd been reminiscing about his big, furry dog going "woof, woof" (rather than talking).  He wasn't expecting any company, but now that he's got some, he wanted to clean up.

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

It scared the 'you-know-what' out of him when Sweetheart talked, and now he's trying to clean it up before anyone notices.

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

Generalissimo Francisco Franco isn't dead, he's just resting permanently in a non-metabolic state...

Ellen Foxxe (j_f_rivkin) says:

Um, I thought he was scrubbing the floor at the spot where Unity's arm fell, because, y'know, messy. . . ?  Or do I just have a gross mind?

casimir (casimir) says:

ooh ooh a quiz! If this is going where I think it's going, then, despite being in her eighties, Dr.Goodness did not die of old age... and the handsome young Dr.Nut man is...not using a swiffer sweeper to sanitize the scene.

Michael Vox (michael-vox) says:

You can't go wrong with 8ball humor!

-Michael Vox

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:


Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Goodness, she claims to have no pain receptors and then responds comically to a hangnail! It's as if this comic strip is supposed to be funny!
Really, E.T. Come on.

Daniel Barkalow (iabervon) says:

"I thought you didn't have any pain receptors in your arm."

"This is not my arm."

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 The toughest man I ever knew, an Army Ranger, had this exact reaction to a hangnail. 6'5", 230 lbs of pure, unadulterated machismo, brought low by a small piece of skin halfway flaked off.


 That being said, it did look uncomfortable.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Sharp Dressed Man", ZZ Top)

Loose arm ... sewn back ...
It's plain, she got no pain receptors, Jack!
Undead ... pain-free ...
It interferes with her killosity!

But she panics and her arms start to flail ...
The zombie got an owie from a sharp hangnail!

She's got ... one skill ...
A patchy lady who was made to kill!
Can't hurt ... can't feel ...
Mislay an arm and say it's no big deal!

But there's a little thing that's making her wail ...
The zombie got an owie from a sharp hangnail!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: [snicker] Those fine touch nerve endings'll get ya every time.
Tom Powell (top1950) says:


Every time I think Skin Horse can't get any better, you surprise me again.  Well done, Shaenon & Jeff.

Michael Kimmitt (punditusmaximus) says: @Dave Estep: those moments are deeply reassuring, in their own ways.
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile