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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: I often fail to stop being silly.
woozy (woozy) says:

Three!  Three annoyed dogs!

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Next to the secret voodoo altar is okay. I speak from experience when I say that under the secret voodoo altar ends poorly.

Justin Grubbs (jjgrubbs) says:

I can sympathize. When you've built something as impressive as a fully functioning voodo altar it's just so hard not to show it off.

Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

"I really should stop showing off the secret voodoo altar" is now my favourite phrase of the day.

Rob (rrreed) says:

"No I'm sorry, I'm not prepared to pursue my line of enquiry any further as I think this is getting too silly."

"Quite agree. Quite agree. Silly. Silly… silly. Right get on with it. Get on with it!"
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

He's really being a prick, isn't he?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: . . .
Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 I'm not alone. Someone else with a secret voodoo altar.. thank you.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "When You Love A Woman", Journey)

In New Orleans, with Dr. Nut,
He's being quite silly ... well, somewhat ...
And Dr. Goodness's files
Are stacked up in piles ... piles,
Beside the ...

Secret voodoo altar!
That I'm really not supposed to show ...
Secret voodoo altar!
With a portrait of Marie Leveau ...
Curse that lasts forever,
There's a gris-gris that will cure it
In the back room, oh ...
But it's still such sill stuff,
That it's making Sweetheart gRUFF ...

Rincewind (outworldcats) says: Rob (rrreed) Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks Sweetheart is channeling Graham Chapman.
Rob (acoustic_rob) says:

Stop it, stop it, you're being silly again....

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

"You have failed to stop being silly" would make an AWESOME Skin Horse t-shirt with Sweetheart posed "passant guardant".

Wayne (wayne) says:

Well, since Graham is dead, Unity is in various parts dead, the judge is dead, I think it's appropriate that there be a voodoo altar to bring it all together.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

**puzzled** But... but this is New Orleans! Why is it secret??

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: @Ysabet - obviously there must be two voodoo altars - one for show, and one for work. This is the one they keep out the way, since it's always a mess.
Kathy Moon (flipkat) says:

For some reason the stuffed crocodile reminds me of Discworld - must be a reference.

Rob (rrreed) says: And then, of course, there's the third voodoo altar hidden away somewhere that's where all the real ceremonies take place. Of course, if one follows the approach of "The Purloined Letter", then the altar for show is actually the real altar, and the one for work is the fake, hidden to make you think that it's the real one. But that's just what he wants you to think—which means that the hidden altar is the real altar after all! But if he knows that you know that he knows that you know the show altar is the fake, then that one will be the real altar!

No, much simpler all around if there's a well-hidden third altar somewhere.
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: @Rob - then there's the fourth altar, which is the one you wouldn't use if your life depended on it.
Diane Castle (deecee) says:

And don't forget the altar kocker, for the older voodoo practitioners.

Austin Smorgasboard (nosesquid) says:

And when those four altars won't cut it, then it's time to bring out the altest.

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

Hey, Shaenon, you ever worry that your fanbase is procreating and infecting the rest of humanity with this weirdness?

Or was that the goal all along?

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

Oh no, he's figured it out!

Mr. Gorley, if I could just have one more moment of your time, I'd like you to look at this, please. Just look directly at the light.


The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

Hmmm, perhaps he is confusing 'secret' with 'private'? Goodness knows, some of the Wiccans of mine acquaintance consider their altars as very private things.


The Auld Grump

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

It's how I learned criminal psychology and bomb disposal

Rob (rrreed) says: And it's how I learned basic faster than light navigation and advanced chrono-quantum dynamics.

You can fix anything by reversing the polarity!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Hooray For Hollywood", Richard Whiting & Johnny Mercer)

I learned from Hollywood!
I watched the movies and they taught me good!
In twenty minutes, with the proper urgin',
A plastic surgeon
Can alter anyone's face!
A master chef's a rat, man;
And forging Batman
Can punch Godzilla and breathe in space!

I learned from Hollywood
To fight The Man and to protect the 'hood!
I met barbarians around their campfires,
And modern vampires
Are merely misunderstood!
I learned to shoe a horse
And to use The Force ...
I learned from Hol-ly-wood!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: . . .
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Two questions: 


  1. What level of awesomeness is Kraft Singles compared with the level of awesomeness of other dairy products?
  2. Are these voodoo dolls anatomically correct?

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 A "Dead Ringers" ref. this early in  the day?



Sean Kinlin (seaking) says:

Every Garrity comic needs a Cronenberg reference at some point.  :)

Mike Kozar (mikekozar) says:

I love the Happy Hop about the malicious voo-doings.

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Keep. Her. Away. From. The. Maternity. Ward.
Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

It's how I learned to fence.

N B (davecloneseven) says:

Kraft Singles are not dairy products.  They're textiles.

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

This is one of Jeff's scripts, and I think my favorite part is the implication that Unity thinks Kraft Singles are really, really awesome.
Greg Delfeld (posthoc) says:

Kraft Singles are awesome because the dairy in the product has been enhanced by SCIENCE! (Although this does not necessarily leave them edible in this universe.)

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Kraft Singles are a lifeform related to the Mi-Go, and therefore should not be allowed in this time-space continuum.

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Kraft Singles don't catch enough lift to be frisbees, but they're too light to huck overarm.

Philippa Fearn (pippaf1) says:

@ E.T. the Eccentric Type: bomb disposal?  Grab the cat Rodge!

George Harris (bullcityfats) says:

I love Dead Ringers, but it's not a good first date movie.  Trust me on this.


Dieter M. (tangerine) says:


Mmm... 64 slices of American Cheese.

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

He's actually taking this remarkably well, considering!

Just Here (justhere4coffee) says: He's certainly taking it better than Sweetheart! Someone better lock up the coffee cups, that's all I'm sayin'...
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

My goodness, someone get that dog a vanilla soy latte before she becomes absolutely snarky!


If someone had a rampage in post-Katrina N.O. ... how would you notice?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "A Thousand Miles", Vanessa Carlton)

Winging our way down south,
New Orleans, party scenes,
And we lost Tip!
Goodness, she passed away,
Then we find voodoo shrine,
What a weird trip!

And Doc Goodness
Knew the Cypress,
What a big mess ...

And Remy shifts ... his paradigm,
And Sweetheart says, "We don't have the time!
We've gotta sort through a thousand files
Or we'll be blue ... by you ... tonight!"

Art Dahm (woodforsheep) says:

I completely understand Sweetheart's exasperation. I feel the same way whenever a narrow minded straight person comes to the realization that gay people aren't the monsters they thought they were.

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

...Did the script include the term 'Paradigm Shift' to remind us of Dirk Tiede?

woozy (woozy) says:

>>>My goodness, someone get that dog a vanilla soy latte before she becomes absolutely snarky!

Four!  Four annoyed dogs!  Bwah, ha ha ha ha

John Wells (johnwwells) says:

This is a trick. It is a trick to make us spend lots of time trying to anagram VENUS PEYREHORADE.

Sarah T (sarahtea) says:

I have a sneaking suspicion that her last name is Flytrap.

woozy (woozy) says:

No.  This is that story about a guy who became obsessed with a statue of Venus and the statue started killing people.  I googled it a few weeks ago when we first heard about Peyrehorade.

woozy (woozy) says:'Ille

I'm not sure what the A stands for though.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Pygmalion--THE DESTROYER?!

woozy (woozy) says:

Cool!  Here's the english translation.  A is for Alphonse.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: I anagrammed, and got "Unerased Overhype". Hmmm.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Venus", Shocking Blue)

Venus married to Alphonse,
Both were biped, standing up!
Unity's upset, she wants
To know how they can shtup!

Well, screw it!
Just how did they do it?
How's a biome ... that's aquatic
Become erotic?

Bethany Wade (bethanygirl) says: I usually don't comment, but what are the origins of the word 'goink'? I must say however, it does seem particularly apt for a descriptive term of an intimate act involving a sapient swamp.
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: I tried looking up goink on, but the only definition that was simply "having sex" cited Mell for the meaning.
woozy (woozy) says:

I simply assumed Unity, like the rest of us, is capible of making up her own phrasosity.  She shurnted out a few keensy ones last week with "fall-offy arm thing" and "killosity".  So why wouldn't she have one for spermoeba fussion?

Philip Cohen (treesong2) says:

Actually, before seeing Dr. Nut's reply I thought 'goink' meant 'kill'. More in line with zombie interests, though not Venus's. The verb I know for sex is 'boink'.

Dave Menendez (zednenem) says: No, "boink" is the sound of scientific progress.
woozy (woozy) says:

>>The verb I know for sex is 'boink'.

Just the *one*??  You poor thing.

>>No, "boink" is the sound of scientific progress.

Scientific progress *IS* sex.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Spanish Eyes", Snyder, Singleton, & Kaempfert)

Her ... sparkling eyes,
Mystery woman has such sparkling eyes!
Though ... it's unwise,
She is his prize, his parents he defies!
I ... fan-ta-size,
Sue me if guys like me ro-man-ti-cize!
It's ... left unsaid,
Alphonse and fiance likely end up dead!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: A love story!
Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

I'd take Kraft Singles over a woman with sparkling eyes any day. Seriously, she's probably one of those damn Stephanie Meyer Vampires.

woozy (woozy) says:

Well, I guess we now know who the effigy in the tux represented. 

But what the connection between Venus and Cypress is eludes me.

Jon W. (kd7sov) says:

I'd venture that Venus is an avatar of Cypress, or other similar extension-of-self.

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

@ampersand: I still want to see a story where vampires are bloodthirsty animals... but they realize the Twilight books give them an opportunity.  So they roll in body glitter before going out hunting, because it makes the prey come to /them/.  Less work for your food! ;)

Rob (rrreed) says:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, up until now you have seen the Creature perform the simple mechanics of motor activity. But for what you are about to see next, we must enter, quietly, into the realm of genius. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mesdames et Messieurs, Damen und Herren, from what was once an inarticulate mass of lifeless tissues, may I present a cultured, sophisticated, Zombie About Town. Hit it."
Paul Lenoue (palenoue) says:

Yup, that sounds like typical swamp seduction to me.  Those cypress are rantipoles, every one of them.

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

@rainpacket: Supernatural had an episode like that.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

A Mortician! Sweet! UnityXRemy 4EVA!


Euel Ball (euel) says:

Don't mean to be an anti-shipper, but I just don't see Unimy/Remity.  Of course, Ms Garrity just might surprise us...

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Sweetheart's no great shakes at rampaging, but she's having the most adorable nervous breakdown, ever.

John Burke (johnnyb) says:

That is one concussed dog. Got the swirly eyes goin' on and everything.

She keeps rampaging like that and Uncle Sam's gonna have to foot the bill for Remy's drywall.

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

This is weird: in weekly mode I'm seeing seven strips -- two copies of Saturday's.

woozy (woozy) says:

Remy Sage-Marron is an anagram for "Man goes remarry" and for "arranges memory"

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "After The Loving", Englebert Humperdinck)

So this couple skipped town
After Katrina,
Though to you that may seem kinda weird ...
When the hurricane hit,
They just lit out of town and disappeared ...

Haven't seen them around
After Katrina,
Lots of people just never came back ...
Look at Sweetheart go nuts
As she head-butts the door, she's gonna crack!

You're upset, no doubt,
There's a place relaxing to me ...
Let's all go chill out
Where it's gloomy ...

Lots of weirdness went down
After Katrina,
So Alphonse and his Venus just split ...
Though the details are hazy,
Well, this city has seen some crazy s**t!

And I know in New Orleans, there's always
Some weirdness there ...
But after Katrina,
This town is weirdness squared!

Doug Wykstra (dwykstra) says:

It would actually make a lot of sense for the poster dog of government bureaucracy to feel nervous and angry in the city where the government's emergency-services response was so poorly managed and ineffective.

Who else thinks Unity's going to hire Remy as her arms dealer?

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:


woozy (woozy) says:

>>Who else thinks Unity's going to hire Remy as her arms dealer?

His names an anagram for "rename gory arms" (and "manage my errors"...)

woozy (woozy) says:

Um... Many!  Many annoyed dogs.  Bwah. ha ha ha ha

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

@Euel: That's why it was a shipping JOKE. I don't really like that stuff either.

Shaenon does seem to joke about shipping too, whatwith the whole TipXDr.Lee or TipXMarcie strip, or the TipXTigerlily arc, or that one Dr.LeeXNick strip. Just sayin'

woozy (woozy) says:

Okay.  I'll admit it.  I don't know what shipping means.

(I also don't seem to see what's odd about Unity and Remy.  Mortician and Zombie seems a pretty fortuitous match.)

woozy (woozy) says:

Sigh.  Urban dictionary.  Not the interesting really.  I don't think we can consider Remy to be an "established character". 

Also since Remy's entire introduction was based on Unity demanding he be a hot guy and his turning out to be hot guy despite Sweethearts objections, I'd say Remy came pre-shipped.

Well, for what it's worth I liked your joke.

Then again, none of this is probably worth discussing.

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

Doug Wykstra (dwykstra) says: 

Who else thinks Unity's going to hire Remy as her arms dealer?

She could certainly give him a leg-up on that career path... 

Daniel Barkalow (iabervon) says:

I really want someone to write a UnityXRamon story. I bet that would generate some interesting classification arguments. Plus, there could be a scene where she's crushing on him, and he's oblivious to what her right hand is doing.

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile