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Smithson Thus Far... ·

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Next up on Skin Horse: Sweetie's gone Wild!

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Wow.  What next?  Tearing the tag off her own mattress?  Walking where it says "Keep Off The Grass"?

I eagerly await an Ed filk to the tune of "Eve of Destruction".

Louis Richards (lummer5000) says:

tune of "Doo-wah-Diddy"

There she was, just rampaging down the street
Madly laughing, "Ah-ha-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Kicking coffee cups and stepping in cement.
Madly laughing, "Ah-ha-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha!
She's gone Mad, gone mad!
It's frickin' boss, frickin' boss!
It's frickin' boss, she's gone Mad!
And the training wheels are off!

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga

Ah ha ha ha ha
I'm from Canada
Had a wire mama
I'm on a rampage

Came to serve papers about a divorce
A living swamp is a job for Skin Horse
But it's all wrong
Wrong wrong wrong
It's all gone wrong!

Turn's out Peyrehorade and Cypress aren't wed
He got a license with Venus instead
So we were wrong
Wrong wrong wrong
It's all gone wrong!

And now with Tip AWOL
And Remy a houngan
And Goodness dead
I need to rampage

I want your coffee cups and fresh, wet cement
I am going on a bad rampage
Hey, this is fun!  I see what Unity meant
I am going on a bad rampage

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha New Orleans
Caught in my bad rampage
You will never slake my thirst to wreak destruction
NoLa, beware my rage

Ah ha ha ha ha
I'm from Canada
Had a wire mama
I'm on a rampage

Brian Swetland (swetland) says:

Sweetheart on a rampage is just adorable.

Brian Rogers (billionsix) says:

"plp" is the best sound effect ever. :)

Woof Arf (woofnarf) says:

Ah, Sweetheart, canine of my heart - I live vicariously through you!!

Michael Taub (otakuloki) says:

Wait - does this mean that Unity is the only one who's still on mission?  O_o

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

I'm now picturing Sweetheart hopping down the street on three legs, stopping periodically to try to shake concrete out of her paw-fur.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: D'aw.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Diane: I just used "Eve Of Destruction" last week, I try not to repeat tunes that quickly.  Now for something completely different ...

(TUNE: "Jamaica Farewell", Harry Belafonte)

In the town that the storm blew down,
Well it's neat that Sweetheart cannot take the heat!
Here in Big Easy, now you will see, she
Gonna leave a footprint in wet concrete!

Well, her ...
Temper's lost, she's feeling cross!
Wheels are off, it's totally boss!
She spilled the beans,
So do you know what that means?
She's gonna stage a Cajun ram-page through New Or-leans!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Next on Sweetheart's rampage: Emeril Legasse.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

@JohnCampbell: And this is the girl who hates it when she gets snow between her piddies.  Her pedicurist is going to HOWL.

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

@Michael;  Well yes.  And from the prologue we all saw how well that worked out!

Terry Smith (wcfan) says:

Perhaps she will shampoo, rinse and NOT repeat.

Andrew Cole (andy4hire) says:

Well, of *course* Unity is all for letting Sweetheart rampage. Quite apart from the interest she occasionally takes in "[her] one-g dog and [her] two-g dogg," last time she got to fight a panda bear! And there were fire trucks, too!

Rob (rrreed) says: First, it's coffee. Next, it's setting concrete. Pretty soon, Sweetheart will work her way up to…

"Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!"

"Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…"

"The dead rising from the grave!"

"Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!"
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: Looks like sweetheart has found a way to enjoy new orleans after all...
Andrew Cole (andy4hire) says:

@rrreed:  All right, so, . . . she's a dog.

Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says:

More shocking to me is that it's UNITY blaring "She's gone mad! Mad, I tell you!" It's the reverse of Frankenstein and his Monster.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

"I got money in the bank."

Daniel Barkalow (iabervon) says:

Parking meters *never* notice weird stuff.

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: Lets hope she was polite enough to eat one that did not have a car parked next to it.
M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

But a parking meter doesn't have brains!


I'm so confused. . . .

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

My theory is that Tip has taught Unity that her problems begin with her, so, because she knows that she is what she eats, she ate the parking meter to cause change within herself.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: . . .
D. Connolly (theogrin) says:

Until that dietary hazard takes its toll on her digestive system, I suspect that Unity's got it maid.

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

Yep. Should be a walk in the park for her from here on out.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@theogrin: you knew this was coming, didn't you?

(TUNE: "Lovely Rita", The Beatles)

See her eat a meter, man!
Doesn't attract attention,
'Cause in this town, odd things go down each day!

    Walking through the Crecent City,
    Zombie girl who's rather pretty ...
    Better not disturb her if you're wanting to live!

    Lucky thing this town is laid-back;
    Give her s**t, and you'll be paid back!
    (And we mean both literal and fig-ur-a-tive!)

See her eat a meter, man!
Nobody near will mention,
Here in this town, we'll on the down-low stay!

    Strolling with the girl in hoodie,
    Remy speaks, but wonders, should he?
    That is just the sort of thing that Sweetheart would do ...

    As they walked, then Remy taught her,
    When they say the "Latin Quarter"
    Doesn't mean a coin that says "E Pluribus U-"
    (Num ... num ... num ... num ...)

See her eat a meter, man!
Watch her defy convention!
Doesn't seem strange, she needs some change today!

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

But parking meters have loose change, and loose change is common cents, and common sense is better than brains.

(ah, the old Hour of Slack...)

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

Better a parking meter than a marking peter.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Parking meter for lunch, just the ticket!


Unity would have liked this shop in St. Louis   They must be using politician brains, to keep the cost so low.


Diane Castle (deecee) says:

It was probably a supermodel UNITY ate.  They're about the same diameter at the torso, with a solid blob on top that is only capable of recognizing money.  Hard to tell the diff.

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:


Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says:

You may be from south Louisiana if...

you find the idea of cemeteries where people are actually buried *in* the ground to be weird.

Paul Lenoue (palenoue) says:

I ran across this new geek plushes business on Kickstarter and thought maybe if enough Skin Horse fans donate with a request they might make a Unity plush toy once their business takes off.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Y'know, it wasn't the above-ground thing (we have both above and below in NW Florida where I was raised, depending on the cemetery); it was how CROWDED the NO graveyards were. Jam-packed, man, like prime real estate.

Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says:

Well, the cemeteries in New Orleans are in the middle of an urban area, so it kinda *is* prime real estate.  In more rural areas, family crypts tend to have enough space between them for a child to walk through.

You know, in retrospect, I played hide and seek with my cousins in some pretty morbid places.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Banana Boat Song (Day-o)", Harry Belafonte)

Who do
Go to see Miss Marie Leveau ...
Who ... do the voodoo that you do,
It's rude to exclude you 'cause you-ou knew-ew ...
Goin' to see Miss Marie Leveau ...

On her grave, leave a gift of rum,
(Goin' to see Miss Marie Leveau)
Bayou sentient, here we come!
(Goin' to see Miss Marie Leveau)

Hey, Missy Voodoo Queen, who da queen of voodoo?
(Voodoo Queen is Marie Leveau)
Hey, Missy Voodoo Queen, you da queen of voodoo!
(Should have seen Miss Marie Leveau!)

She rule ninety, ninety-five, hundred years!
Long time rule for Marie Leveau!
Not too factual, Remy fears ...
Still it's cool for Marie Leveau!

A hoodie from Fitch and Abercrombie,
("Who could be?" say Marie Leveau)
Hide the deadly patchwork zombie!
("Let me see!" say Marie Leveau)

Who do
Queen was Madame Marie Leveau ...
You ... do the voodoo, it's rude too
'Cause you knew your voodoo was doo-oo-doo-oo ...
Brains, you had 'em, Marie Leveau!

Q. Pheevr (q-pheevr) says:

Jam-packed, man, like prime real estate.

People are dying to get in.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

To mage_cat: I used to play in the cemetery with my friends too. Why not? It had great live oaks for climbing, it was within bikeable distance, my little sister wouldn't follow us there for fear of the ghosts that I had gleefully sworn I'd seen all over the place, and we made up all *sorts* of stories about some of the Civil War tombstones (my hometown had a CW prisoner's hospital; lots of the prisoners settled down and married the nurses after the Great Unpleasantness was over, though.) Anyway-- yeah, cemeteries make very cool places to play in.

Kirt Dankmyer (xiombarg) says:

I should mention in passing that I <3 Unity's hoodie. :)

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

I think that, for our friend, the categories of 'real' and 'unreal' are superseded by the category "Strange sh*t I have to deal with", which nicely encompasses everything.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

I've been to that cemetery. I think I also met Ms. Leveau. Looked good for a 100 year old Voodoo Queen.

I've always found cemeteries to be fascinating places, though I'd never play hide and seek in one, and I'd never try to be in one at night.

Jude M (tohubohu) says:

M'amzelle!  She is so very awesome.  I have been to her tomb, made an offering, and put her (and her tomb) in a fanfic.

Brian Rogers (billionsix) says:

Just noticed the misspelling of "New Orelans" in the second panel.

woozy (woozy) says:

>>Just noticed the misspelling of "New Orelans" in the second panel

Maybe.  I've been told true New Orleanians pronounce it "N'arh-lans".  'course that could be an exageration.  As a californian I pronounce it "Noo Oar-EEnz" which I suppose would be written in a comic as "New Or'leans" to emphasize my astringent accent.  I suppose a New Orleanian with relatively clearly diction would pronounce it "Newh OhrhlANs" wich would be written in a comic as "New Orelans" to emphasize the soft short vowels and unstressed syllables of a local speaker.

woozy (woozy) says:

Well, a pony made outta bacon is a lot better than bacon made out of a pony.

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

I disagree, woozy. A pony made out of bacon is just a pony you can't ride- and it could be badly-burnt bacon, even. Whereas pony bacon is actually quite tasty, especially when compared with other quadrupedal ungulates.

Just Here (justhere4coffee) says:

You know that old phrase "if you smiled any wider your head would split" (or words to that effect)?


Panel 3 suggests hat this could have been a real threat to Unity's, er, unity!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: [face-palm]
Mason Kramer (masonk) says:

"Man, how do I say no to that face?"

I'd recommend from a distance. Long distance. Say a phone call, maybe.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Take It Easy", The Eagles)

Well, we're a-walkin' through the bayou
And I've forgotten why you
Brought the both of us out here ...
Wishes for the win, an'
I can't keep from grinnin'
Practic'ly from ear to ear!

Bacon pony!  Bacon pony!
I'm wanting one that's nice and plump,
And not too bony!
A bit crispy, not too hard,
With more cholesterol than lard!
That's what I'm gonna wish for, pard!
A bacon po-ny!

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

A pony made out've bacon. Ooooh, that's a LOT of bacon! And all things considered (I mean, zombie and everything) there's no saying as to whether the bacon!pony'd be unrideable and unmoving-- could be a zombie!pony, right? Of course, that'd make eating it a bit awkward.  **ponders** And would a zombie!pony shamble around, neighing 'graaaaaiiiiinnnsss'?

Also: Dr. Nut is mindbogglingly cute. As in, his cuteness points fall somewhere between 'awwwww puppy!' and 'strip your shirt off and pose for me, baby' almost dead-center. :3

Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

Maybe its the fact that I haven't had lunch yet...but a pony made out of bacon would really hit the spot just about now.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Today, I'm, thankful for Shaenon, Jeff, and all of you.
tune: When you wish upon a star (Leigh Harline & Ned Washington, Pinocchio, 1940)

When you wish upon a swamp
For a pony that can romp
Tossing its prosciutto mane
And fatback flanks

If your name is Unity
And the legend's not phony
When you find your pet-slash-meal
Give Cypress thanks

Remy doubts
The use of this pursuit
But Unity's so cute
He can't deny her

Come now, pony, without fail
Swishing your pancetta tail
Bacon pony on the bayou's
Swampy banks

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

I like that everyone calls him Dr. Nut.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Kay: Jiminy Cricket, that's clever!

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

BTW, thanks to Shaenon and Jeff.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Helpful swamp is helpful.
woozy (woozy) says:

Slow Burn.

So was Remy one of the bodies in the pile of corpses "when the sun went down"?

woozy (woozy) says:

>>I disagree, woozy. A pony made out of bacon is just a pony you can't ride-

granted.  But at least it'd be bacon!  And a *lot* of bacon!!!

>>>Whereas pony bacon is actually quite tasty, especially when compared with other quadrupedal ungulates.

If it ain't pig, it ain't bacon!  Accept NO turkey, soy, or pony!  Since you can't ride either a bacon pony or pony bacon (and who needs to ride when you can sail!) then the only concept you are left with is bacon (and, OH!  what a concept bacon is!).  With a bacon pony you get a HECK OF A LOT of bacon!!!! Whereas with pony bacon you don't know how much you get, but what you do get is made of horse instead of !!PIG!!!  Bacon is !PIG!  !PIG!  !PIG!.

Oh, by the way:  Bacon is good.

Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

Hmmm.  You just *know* that someone's going to try to find or make pony bacon now.

I may have to torment young children with this premise for some time to come.  "I want a pony." "And I want bacon.  If we also get a smokehouse, we can *BOTH* get what we want!"

Ben N (mittfh) says:

More to the point...

a) Where have the SH agents wandered off to?

b) Do any of them still remember the purpose of the visit?

It wouldn't surprise me if this mission turns out to be just as "successful" as the red panda child support mission...

Bo Lindbergh (blgl) says: Yum!
Mike Kozar (mikekozar) says:

Day late/dollar short, but I want to say I am thankful Shaenon and Jeffrey are making comics.  I read today's strip in my bad Cajun accent, and *anything* that justifies dusting off the ol' BCA puts a smile on my face.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Waaaaaait a second.... ^^
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Where The Boys Are", written by Greenfield & Sedaka, performed by Connie Francis)

Where the swamp is, there the Cypress waits ...
They'll put us back
On the right track ...
And there, we both will meet our fates!

Where the swamp is, Remy checks his map ...
A voice says, "See,
This way, chere,"
And Remy says "Oh, thanks! ... Oh, crap."

In the Louisiana bayou,
Peyrehorade we will seek ...
When the creepers start to tie you,
You know you're up that creek!

In a minute, you'll be in dire straits ...
Where the swamp is ...
(Smells like armpits)
Where the swamp is, there the Cypress waits!

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

You know, if Unity wishes for a MULE made of bacon, she could name it "Francis".  'Cause it's BACON!

(TUNE: "Yankee Doodle Dandy", George M. Cohan)

Want a pony made of bacon!
Bacon pony is the best!
I want a BLT with just the B;
You guys can have all the rest!

I want a thing to grant my wishes,
Just like Tom Hanks did in "Big"!
Francis Bacon came from London, just to eat a pony,
I want a pony made of pig!

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

Somehow, I think Unity would be more likely to choose "Kevin" as the name for anything made of bacon, rather than Francis.

Also, Francis (great-nephew of Regret who won the Derby)may object to using his name for something someone is going to eat, and he kicks very hard.

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

woozy (woozy) says: 

>>>Whereas pony bacon is actually quite tasty, especially when compared with other quadrupedal ungulates.

If it ain't pig, it ain't bacon! Accept NO turkey, soy, or pony!
[...] with pony bacon you don't know how much you get, but what you do get is made of horse instead of !!PIG!!! Bacon is !PIG! !PIG! !PIG!.

Oh, by the way: Bacon is good.

On the contrary, you can make bacon from any mammal with abdominal muscles big enough to slice crossways. (Gerbils, for example, would be problematically small, and anyway Artie would be deeply offended.) Of course, Schweinefleisch is the canonical bacon.

Soy bacon, on the other hand, is a damnable lie; so are tofu hotdogs, because soybeans don't have lips and a$*&@#$*...

Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

That is the most impractical *AND AWESOME* weapon ever.

Nate Cull (natecull) says:

I suppose it might kill your enemies by recursive resource-denial loop.

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

What's impractical about it?  The launcher is nothing special, it's just that the ammunition is a bit more complex.  But it's just the thing for when you came loaded for tanks but found out you were up against infantry.

Does the Bayou belong to the Church of England?

Mike Kozar (mikekozar) says:

A cajun accent and dialogue I can steal and use in my day to day life?  I would hug this swamp if I could figure out how!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Yay for tea!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "All My Loving", The Beatles)

To the Bayou of Wishing,
Where Unity's splishing
And splashing around with such glee!
In this place that's enchanted,
Your wishes are granted ...
As long as they're wishes for tea!

Now it won't take me too long
For pekoe or oolong,
Or maybe Earl Grey, you will see!
You want sugar or lemon?
I'll even put them in,
And serve you a nice cuppa tea!

All your wishes
I will gladly grant ...
All your wishes
From Camellia plant!

Now that fresh cup that you got,
It just might be too hot!
You could burn your tongue, third degree ...
Sugar tongs next to milk jugs,
'Midst skeeters and mudbugs!
Now drink up your nice cup of tea!

Just Here (justhere4coffee) says:

Downhearted Unity is Downhearted.

Wayne (wayne) says:

I remember the rocket launcher in Duke Nuke'm 3-D, if you fired it in a small room you could frag yourself.  Good times.  A recursive rocket launcher would also be awesome, but Unity's probably safer with recursive tea.

Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:

No, the most impractical and awesome weapon ever is the Gun Gun. It's a bit like Unity's idea, but with a faster rate of fire. See

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

A rocket launcher that fires other rocket launchers is the basic concept behind MIRV.

I love how expressive Unity's hair is.

woozy (woozy) says:

I kind of like the idea of limitted wish granting.  We can all become wish granters that way.  As the old song goes "If I could have any wish, I'd wish for more gefilte fish"   "Certainly," says limited genie woozy forking over another mound from the jar, "your wish is granted.  Perhaps you'd like  to wish for another slice of bacon?"

woozy (woozy) says:

As long as were talking skin horse maybe an awesome weapon would be the one that Homer Simpson mentions after the hounds, or the bees, and before Mr. Burns actually sends out the mechanical Richard Simons;  the robot dogs with bees in their mouths so that when they bark they shoot bees at you.

@downhearted, shouldn't that be "Downhearted Unity iz Downhearted"  Oh, and speaking of LOL talk, did anyone see the DVD <a href="">Sita Sings the Blues</>?  One of the subtitle options is to watch the movie with LOL subtitles.  Cute concept?

What?  Me ramble?

Oh, and Ed.  *this* was the best filk ever.  But maybe that's only cause I'm partial to the Beatles.

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile