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Smithson Thus Far... ·

woozy (woozy) says:

Hey!  Where's the cute fox hat! It better still be alive!

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: maybe it ran off?
Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

You know, I was gonna say that they don't do that to people, but then I remembered Ira.

The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

No, I'm afraid that Mr. Fox was already dead when Unity turned him into a hat.

Hopefully. :(

Remember, Unity is a monster.

The Auld Grump

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Awww, don't wipe his brain! It's a cute brain! It doesn't need to be squeegee'd!

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

True. A squirt of Formula 409 and a paper towel ought to suffice...

John Burke (johnnyb) says:

Oh, Remy. Like Skin Horse has anywhere near the funding to afford mind-wipe devices.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Unity wouldn't so much as wipe his brain than just enjoy it with some au jus sauce.

Mike Kozar (mikekozar) says:

@Woozy  It's *better* then alive now!  It's SCIENCE!

Rob (rrreed) says: @Michael—you realize that since you've remembered about Ira, they're now going have to neuralyze you!

::dons dark sunglasses:: So if I could just have your attention for a second…

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Don't You Forget About Me", Simple Minds)

Thank you for visiting me!
I was alone, down in the basement, and I
Helped you to look up your friends;
Fun's just beginning when mortal life ends!

And we went, the Cypress to see ...
Granted our wishes for crumpets and tea!
Now at the end of the day,
You can pull out your mind-wiping ray, OK?

Now I'll ... forget about you,
Mind-wipe, mind-wipe!
Now I'll ... forget about you ...

Back to dull existin' ...
Voodoo dude, and mortician;
So long, buddy ...
Gotta study and cram, cram, cram ...

Please, my friend necrotic,
I've got classes pathologic!
Spare my cortex, ma'am,
I've got exams, ma'am, ma'am ...

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

So if you're testing your neuralizer, how do you ever know if it works?

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@sleepyjohn: You don't test it on yourself!  That's what minions and innocent victims are for!

[I'm visualizing an old Addams Family cartoon, wherein the man going to the Patent Office is looking sad while the bureaucrat points a futuristic rifle out the window at the passersby and shouts at him, "You call that a death ray?  It doesn't even slow them down!"]

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@DeeCee: I think my parents had a paperback collection of Charles Addams cartoons with that same one included.  I *knew* there was more than one reason I liked you.  (The other reason being that you applaud my filks.)

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

Wait wait wait . . . so he's NOT a doctor yet? That shirt lied to us! (grabs pitchfork and torch, lights torch . . . tries again to light torch . . . f#%$in' torch won't light . . . hey, can someone help me with this? Ah, f#%$ it, pass the pinwheel cookies)

woozy (woozy) says:

>>Wait wait wait . . . so he's NOT a doctor yet? That shirt lied to us!

And, oddly enough, his last name isn't Nut.

Bring back the fox!  Bring back the fox!

woozy (woozy) says:

Being kissed on the nose by a zombie is perhaps the best brainwash.  Much better than looking into a bright light.  How many times do you remember looking into a bright light?  A few times?  See, it didn't always work.  Now how many times do you remember being kissed on the nose by a zombie?  See, it worked every time.

Brian Rogers (billionsix) says:

D'awwww! Sooo sweeet!! :D 

Edward Hicks (edward_hicks_vi) says:

Too... Cute... Hurts... a bit.... like.... an undead box of puppies and kittens playing...

chic geek (onechicgeek) says:

Kissess on noses and warm fox fur mittens

Wide eyed mortician can't help being smitten

Zombie of surgical staples and string

New Orleans romance our favorite thing!


When the dog (Sweetheart) bites

When the bees (Gavotte) stings

When he's feeling sad

Dr.Nut will rememebr his favorite fling

And then he won't feel so bad!



Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Zombies and the morticians they love, on the next Maury.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "I walked with a zombie," Roky Erikson

Got kissed by a zombie (got kissed by a zombie)
Got kissed by a zombie (got kissed by a zombie)
Got kissed by a zombie last night

Smack smack smack smack smack smack

[repeat and repeat and repeat . . .]


Daniel Barkalow (iabervon) says:

I have the feeling that the only brain washing Unity does personally is to get the bone fragments out.

Woof Arf (woofnarf) says:

You're all taking this the wrong way.

Unity is just testing to see how good his brains might be by tasting his nose first.

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: awww it is nice to see someone other than Tip getting a little romance in their life. granted I still have suspicion about Gavotte and Moustachio.
Naomi H (starbright) says:

Well, there was Chris and Marcie. And I'm shipping Nick/Dr. Lee.

Sean Riedinger (ariamaki) says:

To the tune of "Zac Little's Vlog Theme" by Ivana XL


When you walk, with a zombie...

You better watch your back...

Gonna get yourself nose-kissed...

Before you can turn your back-back-back-back-back...

Sean Riedinger (ariamaki) says:

OK, this is bizzare-- How does everyone else make non-breaking lines in their lyrical pieces? I mean, it works for the song I used, but WTH? Are you padding it with spaces until it wraps?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Just hitting enter gives you a breaking line.

Shift-enter gives you a non-breaking line.
And now you know, and knowing is three-quarters of the battle.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Oooooh.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Rose", Amanda McBroom)

To forget, you'll neuralyze me
With light of flashing red ...
To forget, you'll traumatize me
With punches in the head ...
Go ahead, I must insist now!
Your world I might expose!
But instead, I'm getting kissed now ...
I'm kissed ... upon the nose!

Yes, my nose she's lightly pecking
With lips that are mis-matched!
I'm afraid, if we start necking,
Her neck might come detached!
So my brain she won't be washin' ...
She says I'm too much fun!
If she wants a night of passion,
I can't ...
      ... well, maybe one ...

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 What will Dr. Lee think of this?

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

And they call it .... undead love...

If that's doing her worst, Doc ought to take out some  insurance  before he tells her to do her best.

Can't wait for French kissing in the French Quarter ... especially if her tongue is like Ramon.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Ed, are you confusing this song with the one sung by Seal?

This is also suspiciously starting to sound like Pride, Prejudge and Zombies. Not sure if Jane Austin is laughing or rolling around in her grave when that novel came out. Or maybe she's doing both.

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: Awwww....
Kirt Dankmyer (xiombarg) says:



Why does this make me worry about Remy's health more than anything else so far?

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

@ Andrew - I think. Ed is doing The Rose song that Bette Midler sang as the theme to the 70s movie of the same name. Somehow, though, i think you knew that, so sorry. Nevertheless, leave it to Unity - she kisses one nose and the muse moves readers to wax filk-etic.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Awwwwww, zombie!nosekisses!  I think Unity just did her best, not her worst.  ^___^

Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:

@chic geek: Very nice job....

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

I figured "Radar Love" by Golden Earring fit the best.

I been trekkin' all day, my legs covered with goo,
There's a zombie with me that's trekkin' too,
It's Unity talkin', says to come along,
And it's half past four when I write this song

When I know too much and its neuralyzer time
We're standing here with shoes all filled with slime
She don't need a clicky thing,
We've got a thing that's called zombie love,
I got a kiss on the nose... zombie love.

Rob (rrreed) says: Unity, you were supposed to wipe his mind, not blow it to smithereens!
Tom Powell (top1950) says:

@chic geek: I love that one!  Unfortunately, I'll be humming Mary Poppins for the rest of the night.  sigh

I think 'Unity' being 'sweet' is just SOOO precious.  (I worry about his brain and body parts, though.)

And woozy, you may have a point there.  I don't remember EVER being kissed by a zombie, yet I do remember looking into bright lights!  Yee-Gads!


Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

She's totally being reasonable there.  After all, it's not like she's gonna eat his eyes.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Oh, I get it! They mindwiped Ira, and then mindwiped Unity so she wouldn't remember!

Then they mind... wiped...

What was I saying?

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

It's not like the fox thing, she swears!

woozy (woozy) says:




woozy (woozy) says:

Unity doesn't think Ira is a dude.  Or she's just lying.  Or ...

Daniel Barkalow (iabervon) says:

Unity's telling the truth. "We" don't mind-wipe Ira; "they" mind-wipe Ira. And "they" aren't on this mission.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Mind-wiping is an entirely different department, on another floor.
John Burke (johnnyb) says:

"C'mon, it's not like I'd make clothes out of your skin or nothin'."

See, at least she has standards. A less professional zombie might have turned him into a jaunty chapeau.

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Hmmm, now that I think about it, the fact he tastes weird might be Ominous Foreshadowing.
Rob (rrreed) says:

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

@dvandom: How often does she taste a person without chewing?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Beat Goes On", Sonny & Cher)

   I would eat your head!
   I would eat your head!
   Wouldn't wipe your mind, you'd just be dead!
   Nommy nommy nom ...
   Yummy yummy yum ...

When at last our mission here is done,
I can't wipe your mind, you're too much fun!
You were nice and acted as my guide ...
I won't be committing mnemocide!

   (repeat CHORUS)

Braced yourself for mind-wipe, here it goes ...
I just went and kissed you on the nose!
Didn't scrub your neurons, as you'd feared ...
Still, I must admit, that tasted weird!

   (repeat CHORUS)

Wouldn't boil your brains with collard greens ...
No chianti, and no fava beans!
Even though your mem'ry's unobscured,
Somehow you don't look too reassured!

   (repeat CHORUS)

Wouldn't make a suit out of your skin ...
Somehow, it looks better with you in!
Wouldn't make a bedspread or a rug ...
Let's try something kinky, like a hug!

   (repeat CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS blah blah blee bloo)

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: We need to get that lipstick in the forum story.
Just Here (justhere4coffee) says: @Sam: have you never tasted someone's lipstick/lipbalm in a kiss?
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

When Sweetheart finds out that Unity's been kissing around, the Starbucks cups are gonna fly!

Kirt Dankmyer (xiombarg) says:

I love how Unity walks the adorable / disturbing line.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

The clothes thing... is she talking about the fox, or is that a Digger reference? **headscratch**


Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Gotta say, though, if Skin Horse is counting on the general public simply not believing anything they hear about talking dogs, zombies and so forth... this is the wrong city for it. NO's a lot like London, you can tell anything and you'll find people'll somewhere that'll listen and believe you. Usually in a bar.

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

Yeah, but if people think something's so normal it's not worth noticing, the end result is the same...

woozy (woozy) says:

Actually, that makes New Orleans the *perfect* city for counting on the public.  It doesn't matter if every single person in New Orleans knows and believes about Skin Horse because nobody else believes New Orleans.

woozy (woozy) says:

Oh.  And bring back the fox!

Andy Wetmore (efogoto) says:

The clothes thing seems to be a "Silence of the Lambs" reference to me. "mmm ... roomy."

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

So what kind of gear can you get with "Honor the Dead" Points?  And where do you redeem them?

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Hands probably get manky faster than faces because she's more likely to hit stuff with 'em.
Harris Bias (polychrome) says: Norman: PvP gear from Undercity, I would imagine.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Stand By Me", Ben E. King)

Well it's been ... a nice night!
Never kissed ... without a bite!
Remy says "Sure ... been a pleasure ... Miss Unity."
It's too soon ... to give his heart,
So he'll donate ... another part!
Sexy man ... gives a hand ... to me!

See this hand ... that he kissed?
I'll forever ... keep this fist!
'Til it's manky ... and stanky ... eventually ...
Then Remy says, "Et voila!"
Gives me a fresh ... human paw!
Bestest friend ... gives a hand ... to me!

So Remy, gimme!
Hand ... hand to me!
Oh, hand ... hand to me!
Do the hand jive ... gimme high five!
Hand to me!

Steve J (stevej) says:

Well, that was obvious.  She ask him for some help, and he gave her a hand.

Jon W. (kd7sov) says:

No, Steve, it's better than that.

He gave her a hand before she asked.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

I'm just worried it's some sort of hand job.

N B (davecloneseven) says:

Of course if she offers her hand in return, this situation will start to get weird.

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

@Ed; Somehow I was expecting "Give Me Your Hand", by Turlough O'Carolan.  (With words added by Planxty.)

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

He... gave her a hand. Y'know, that's actually quite charming in a dreadful, dreadful way. What a guy. <3  Hmmmm, bet he'd look good mud-wrestling, too.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@Norman: I would guess Hot Topic.

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

@davecloneseven: START to get weird? Someone needs to read through the archives again.

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

A thought: in the last panel, is UNITY talking to the good not-doctor, or the hand?

woozy (woozy) says:

Well, it's only a matter of time before someone starts quoting Tom Lehrer.

I hold you hand in mine, dear
I press it to my lips
I take a dainty bite
from your luscious fingerips
My joy would be complete, dear
If you were only here,
Yet I hold your hand
as a precious souvenier

The night you died, I cut it off
I really don't know why
Now each time I kiss you
I get bloodstains on my tie

I'm sorry that I killed you
for our love was something fine
so until they come to get me
I hold your hand in mine.

Yep, only a matter of time.  I wonder what unimaginative reader will be the firt to quote.


Oh... bring back the fox!

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

**blinkblink** Bwah?  HAPPY UNITY IS HAPPY. And makes decent rhymes, too... Her face in that last panel is freakin' DARLING.

Errr... What the hell's Miz Unexpected Guest doing? Swear it looks like she's planting a bug...

woozy (woozy) says:

Does look like she's planting a bug, doesn't it?

Well, you brought back the fox.  Now make it say something to prove it's alive!

Demandy woozy is demandy.

woozy (woozy) says:

Okay, I got it.

Miz Unexpected Guest is speaking into a microphone to fake the swamp entity because she is Venus, and she and Alphonse, who is pretending to be a mortician named Remy, are misleading Unity completely the wrong way.  Unity's going to figure it out, find the *real* cypress, hope to get some pinwheel cookies and will get ripped to bits. 

What's more, all the spare parts that "remy" gave unity are faulty and were ripped off by the tree.  Let's see... was it the left arm that fell off first?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: I could be wrong, but I think she's using a stethoscope.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

Is this an inter-departmental rivalry?  Maybe Phoebe is a fibbie!  (fibbie = FBI).

(TUNE: "Fixing A Hole", The Beatles)

I'm planting a bug in light fixture here,
That Skin Horse won't be noticin'
As they discourse ...

I'm hiding a tiny electrical ear,
Just so my boss can listen in
To their task force!

But a
Zombie girl is kicking in the door like that!
She's got a brand new hat!
I'm going "AACK!"

Now she want to be my friend!
I think that this may be the end!
I'm likely gonna end up as a snack!

I'm planting a bug so my teammates can hear
What shape's the secret mission in,
Of team Skin Horse?

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

Are you sure Unity's got the right room?

N B (davecloneseven) says:

I was worried that was an IV bag and Tip was gonna wake up a couple of kidneys lighter.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Is it just me or is Unity filking from Sam I Am?

Zander MacDonald (zander) says: I thought she was filking Gershwin's "Who Could Ask For Anything More?"
Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

Swear it looks like she's planting a bug...

Probably, but this being Skin Horse, we can still speculate on the species. Weevil? Moth? Perhaps the stately dung beetle?

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: Happy Unity is profoundly unnerving and heart-meltingly adorable all at once. It's like she landed in the inverse Uncanny Valley.
Derek Burrow (derekthebard) says:

CIA training now apparently includes "10 Ways to Trick a Zombie Supersoldier".

Daniel Barkalow (iabervon) says:

Derek: Actually, CIA training includes "1 Way to Trick a Zombie Supersoldier". Agents can also request "Oh Fine Another Way to Trick a Zombie Supersoldier", but it's of limited usefulness.

woozy (woozy) says:

Yes, but does the CIA tell its agents where to get crabcakes or not?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I Just Called To Say I Love You", Stevie Wonder)

I'm Phoebe, see ...
You're Unity ...
I'm only in your room 'cause Tip invited me!
So I'll deny
That I'm a spy;
I'm only here for kinky sex with some cute guy!
This thing I've got?
A bug, it's not!
There's no surveillance van out in the parking lot!
You understood?
So we're all good?
I can't believe that worked, like Central said it would!

No, I'm not ... a spy ... from Central!
No, I'm not, so just ... relax!
No, I'm not ... a spy ... from Central,
So let's watch some soft-core porn on Cinemax!

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: So it is a bug! Now, for the question. Is it a gold bug?
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Are we sure 'Central' = CIA?

Steve J (stevej) says:

"Central" is probably Anasigma.

Sean Duggan (duggansc) says: Of course, given Unity has previously shown some animal cunning, I could still see this coming around.
As Phoebe tries to leave, Unity grabs her arm and smiles wildly.
Phoebe: But... I thought we were friends.
Unity: Of course we are. The fox was a friend too...
-- Several hours later --
Tip: Nice hat, Unity.
Unity: Thanks. Made it myself.
Viktor Dosk (hugin) says:

Unity wouldn't turn Phoebe into a hat. She already has Foxy for that. A Phoebe-skin coat, on the other hand...

Dominic Corbin (lnick) says:

Or boots! Girls always want more shoes!
Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:

Somehow I got the impression that Tip usually dated girls in pairs.... Maybe Phoebe has a (sorority) sister?

Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: So it is a bug!

But it's not a bug! Phoebe just said it's not a bug!

So obviously it must be a feature.

Dominic Corbin (lnick) says:

Or boots! Girls always want more shoes!

Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:

Somehow I got the impression that Tip usually dated girls in pairs....

I'm going to assume this juxtaposition of comments was unintentional...

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile