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Smithson Thus Far... ·

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Aww.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "You Can't Hide Your Lyin' Eyes", The Eagles)

Way down in the swamps of Louisiana,
Evening comes and darkness starts to fall ...
Sweetheart now decides she's not a fan o'
The entity who lied and fooled them all!

Seems she knows exactly where to go now ...
She turns and gives her team a sharp command!
They're going to confront their spooky foe now,
And Remy asks if they might need a hand!

   Hey, his name is Brian, guys!
   He's the staun-chest of allies!
   Though he's small, he really tries ...
   We should not despise the size of Brian, guys!

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

It IS the hand that does it!

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Oh, come ON, Sweetheart! If Unity leaves Brian behind as a momento, just think what a cachet it'll be for a voudun papaloa to have an undead hand as a pet/assistant/mascot! Talk about upping your ratings...

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

"Chuck the hand," not "Chuck, the Hand," Sweetheart said. :)

Rob (rrreed) says: Someone get Remy a copy of Eats, Shoots & Leaves, stat!
Jim Kuemmerle (trianglejazz) says:

I'd rather have Brian on my side in a fistfight anytime!  He may be small, but he's not as armless as he looks!

Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

Re Arisia: Were any of my parodies sung?

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN *muahahahahahahahaha*

Yes, that's the Plants vs. Zombies theme.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Little Shop Of Horrors", Ashman & Menken)

Little swamp, little swamp o' terror!
On you tromp, through the swamp o' terror!
What a romp, little swamp o' terror!
Yaah!  Graah!  Graaah and yaa-aah!

In the swamp, in the Cypress there are
Things that chomp!  Things that chomp your hair or
Punch and stomp, in the swamp o' terror!
Yaah!  Graah!  Graaah and yaa-aah!

Hear him yell, asking "What the hell is all this mess?!"
Hear him shout, "No one's lookin' out now for me!"
Hear him scream, caught up in a stream of zombieness!
He oughta, tell him now he oughta
Oughta run, run or he'll be caught, ah!
Shoulda thought, shoulda thought o' some way to fleeeeEEEEE!

Little swamp, little swamp o' terror!
Cannot comp -- are, cannot compare her!
Cypress swamp!  My, this swamp o' terror!
Graah, graaah and yaah!
Yaah, yaah and graah!
Graah, graaah and yaaaaa-aaaaah!

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Pete:  I don't think so ... here's a little slideshow of strips and filks from Arisia.


Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 I know it was a foregone conclusion, but I really liked him. It takes a very special kind of person to just roll with it, and Remy was that kind. Later man.

Marni Rachmiel (marniferous) says:

Well, now, wait a minute - if Remy gets zombified then he and Unity can be together... :)

Marni Rachmiel (marniferous) says:

Or maybe by getting captured, _he'll_ be the one who figures it all out?

Just Here (justhere4coffee) says:

Don't think of Remy as lunch; think of him as the next Voodoo King...

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

A life as a voodoo priest without being captured by zombies at least ONCE would be like a day without sunshine!  Again with the Experience Points!  However, I hope he doesn't get messily devoured or zombified; he's hot, and there just aren't all that many hot zombies (saving Unity's presence, of course.)

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

If Remy's gaining XP, he really needs to put a few levels into 'dodge' or 'escape.' :)

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Ed: You totally rule, but I gotta say I would have given a leg and a leg to hear a group of people singing "Bitch to the bone!"  Maybe that's what happened to Unity?

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

I missed the first half of the filk because I had to attend the con breakfast, and walked in on, "Now I'm a fluffy cyborg/ I could fly away..." I fell down laughing and could not stop.
Ben N (mittfh) says:

Remy getting zombified isn't necessarily a foregone conclusion. It all depends on how much time has elapsed between panels 2 and 4....

M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

Sweetheart always was the brains of the outfit. It's surprising that UNITY doesn't try nomming her.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: *menacing undertone* ...and it is very good tea.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Party's Over", Willie Nelson)

    Forget polite, 'cause teatime's over!
    You lied to me!  I knew you wood!
    Prepare to fight, 'cause teatime's over!
    If you dis this pup, I'll moss you up, but good!

Now at last, the facts we're learning!
This is why we're now returning,
We had to slog through soggy bog, up to my knees!
As I'm drenched in muddy water,
Now I'm asking 'bout your daughter!
You've had your fun, but now we're done with pleasan-trees!
     (repeat CHORUS)

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Amazing how Sweetheart can be dominating and commanding with swamp mud between her piddies.

Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:

@Ed:  You rock....

Rachel Blackman (rainpacket) says:

Filk and pun, all in one? Thank you Ed, your work is done!

Brandon Gorley (bowtothebard) says:

Anyone else hearing Sweetheart's last line in Ahnold's voice?

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

Zombie Apocalypse Frosting, yummy.  Goes well on brain-filled donuts.

John Sears (john_sears) says:

We've been working to dispel the Zombie Apocalypse myth for a long time at the ZRC, so we approve of nipping these rare problematic instances in the bud (no pun intended) before they can flare up into larger conflicts, which ultimately end up hurting the Zombie Community the most.

Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Tough-guy banter?  From a female Canadian dog whose idea of a rampage involves littering? 

Maybe it's time to bring out the comfey chair...

Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Or for real hard-cases, they could always resort to a thrashing with the mink of nine-tails....

Nick Lardas (voyager) says:

I thought it was foxes that had nine tails?

Brian McPherson (brian-m) says:


According to the ongoing filename story she once ended up in the slammer (animal shelter) for knocking over garbage bins.

She's not always been a social worker. At one time she lived of the streets, flouting the law.

She's walked the walk, done hard time. She ate her creator, she works for a secret overnment organization.  She shares an apartment with a violent zombie who killed two members of the Skin Horse team before joining.

Bring on the tough-guy banter. She's earned the right.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Maria" from "West Side Story", Bernstein & Sondheim)

A daughter ...
Two Cypresses, mother and daughter!
Yes, something was amiss
When I learned of your his-

Your daughter ...
Her thoughts you can feel in your water!
She wants to wed a boy!
She's fouling up so roy-

Your daughter!
When you fight her, it's so exhausting!
It's like Zombie Apocalypse Frosting!
Such slaughter
Occurs when you're fighting your daughter ...

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

I am so naming my next band Zombie Apocalypse Frosting

Woof Arf (woofnarf) says:

This is an interesting paradigm in tough leadership.

Can you truly be an effective leader when you want to give said leader tummy rubs, coupled with the cooing of "awwww, who's the fearless leader - who's the nummi-kins fearless leader!"

Liz Butler (hypothetical_woman) says:

Is this zombie apocalypse frosting?

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

So Sweetheart just took a level in.. Genre Awareness?  Actually, that sounds useful!


Sean Kinlin (seaking) says:

In other news, I noticed today that Channing posted on the Talk to Daniel Pinkwater forum last week:

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Of course, the dead girl's name was "Joy"

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "How great our joy" (traditional German Christmas carol,

Life in the swamp began to pall
I thought I'd rather live with y'all
Followed my joy (Followed her joy)
Joy! Joy! Joy! (Oy! Oy! Oy!)
Now I'm the cypress voodoo queen (And she is uppity and mean)

I found a dead but comely lass
Filled her with sapient biomass
Then met a boy (She met a boy)
Joy! Joy! Joy! (Oy! Oy! Oy!)
He could not resist Venus' charms (Ignored his family's alarms)

Peyrehorade left me, sought divorce
I want revenge! (Help us, Skin Horse!)
Rise, zombie host! (NoLa is toast)
Joy! Joy! Joy! (Oy! Oy! Oy!)
Unity's mine, and Remy, too (What will this psycho cypress do?)

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ai yi.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Ai yi.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Mother And Child Reunion", Paul Simon)

    Now we're heading for a throw-down!
    There will be some hell to pay!
    For the mother and daughter showdown
    Is only a few strips away ...

She got it into her head,
For human she'd try to pass!
So she filled a girl that's dead
With sapient biomass!
She followed her joy, then ...
She got her a boyfriend ...
Now she is his, and he's hers!
    (repeat CHORUS)

They partied through all the town,
And quickly the pair were wed!
But then her new husband found
That she's like a corpse in bed!
Did not want to force her,
Just tried to divorce her ...
Now he is under her curse!
    (repeat CHORUS)

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: "I've got a heart,
down in my Joy (where?)
down in my Joy (where?)
down in my Joy!"

Thank you, Sunday school, I don't think that will ever dislodge itself from my brain...
Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

"So what are you drivin'?"

"Joy.  She can't haul loads like my F-150 did, but she gets a hunnert-fifty miles to a pound o' brains."

Glenn Gorsuch (glenn) says:

Creepy.  For the first time I actually HEARD the Cypress (well, in my head, not out loud).  She sounds like some of my Southern relatives.  That's probably not good. 

But I suppose that's better than if she sounded like Emeril Lagasse. 

Zander MacDonald (zander) says: Somehow I question whether that will work on unity. I would think that if her blood substitute can fight off werewolf virus, it can kick plant-ass as well. I kinda imagine all her little immune system cells yelling "Look, its a man with a weedwhacker!" Then BAM. Legsweep.
Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@Glenn:  Oh, definitely.  Emeril would be far worse.

"Found a dead girl, and then... BAM!  Kicked it up a notch with this handful of sapient biomass!"

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

John: I will find you and hurt you. Or at least send you the latest bill from my psychologist because of that Sunday School song.

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

Aha! So the daughter wants Remy to marry her, but with him officiating as the voodoo priest rather than as the groom.

But if those papers aren't served it'll still be bigamy.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "I'm on fire," Brue Springsteen

Hey now Sweetheart, look what I did
Found a gas main down where it was hidden
And then I got inspired
Oh, oh, oh, gas on fire

Tell me now, Sweetheart, aren't you proud of me
We'll sing campfire songs and strip a tree branch
Roast hot dogs o'er the pyre
Oh, oh, oh, they're on fire

Well at night I wake up with black goo in my bed
'Cause the seam is splitting in the middle of my head
Mayhem is my one desire
Oh, oh, oh, I'm on fire

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

If cookies were made with brains, Unity would REALLY like them.

Nick Lardas (voyager) says:

Ninjas can't catch you while you're on fire.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)", Simon & Garfunkel)

Quick now!  I've got to know
Where did my partner finally go?
She's more than just a "nice girl" who
Is sweet to you and who likes cookies!

You don't know the grief I've had!
She keeps forgetting, "Fire BAD"!
If she's there first, assume the worst!
This problem won't be solved with cookies!

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 Well, you need heat for cookies. Gas mains count. Logic!

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

Awwww, isn't Unity just SOOO cute!

Sean Kinlin (seaking) says:

This must be the UNITY equivalent of your cat bringing you dead birds and rodents.

Justin Kane (avatarjk137) says:

I just realized there are two very different sides to UNITY's personality.


Just like her face.  Derp.

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile