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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Daily
65 comments:
Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

Wow, what a bitch.

Grant McCormick (grantcmccormick) says:

First rule of government:

"The Paper Always Comes First."

 

Second rule of government:

"There Are No Exceptions To The First Rule."

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

What is it with dogs and paper delivery?

Paul Patine (khno) says:

bots, bots, bots, I'm looking for a good time

 

 

 

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Surfin' USA", The Beach Boys)

If you could help us find your daughter,
Then we could do our job!
And after that, we'll stop the slaughter
By the zombie mob!
We know that stopping the killers
Is nice in its own way,
But our priority still is
Serving her today!

Now Unity we're gonna rescue!
We will, just me and Tip!
As long as someone doesn't get cute
And doesn't give me lip!
When we are done with our real chore,
Then we can stay and fight!
But don't forget what we came for;
Serving her tonight!

So we've been searching in the city,
        (Graaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaah)
And in the bayou too!
        (Graaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaah)
Yes, it's a job that isn't pretty,
        (Graaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaah)
But someone has to do!
        (Graaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaah)
With our devotion unswerving,
        (Graaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaah)
We will succeed somehow!
        (Graaaa-AAAA-aaaa-AAAA-aaaah!)
Yeah, the papers we're serving ...
Serving papers now!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Zombies need shoes too.
Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

...those are the most psychotic bot-comments I've ever seen. It's like somebody got them hyped up on cocaine and then fed them five pounds of sugar. O_O  They're almost amusing. Almost.

Eric Burns (ericburns) says: ...must... buy... shoes.... ...must... name... shoes... after... rejected... Power... Rangers...
Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

Today's Bot brings you: 6.5 pages of ungrammatical irrelevancy.

At least the bridal spam points to something Tip might like to wear.

Nick Lardas (voyager) says:

I don't know.  After that disorienting array of links, I'm not even sure I could figure out what button to push.

John Tayleur (sferix) says:

Just Recently discovered 'Skin Horse'.

Just amazing - totally original, quite unique. Completely surreal, with a bizarre sense of humour.

Many, many thanks.

Robert Amsbury (ramsbury) says:

The earliest lessons are the ones that come to the fore first...  Surely most puppies start with paper training.

 

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

John Tayleur:  Be sure to go back to the beginning if you haven't already done so.  And I agree:  This is the most awesome comic I have EVER found!

Way to go, Shaenon & Jeffrey!

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Aw, man. Thanks, guys.
Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

Hope Tip's not too attached to that skirt...

...it's going to be full of dog slobber and toothholes on the hem, and he doesn't look punk enough to rock that look.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "One Of These Nights", The Eagles)

Some other night,
Some other less-crazy night,
Then I can tell you of the Old War,
It was a terrible fight!

Now you're searching for my daughter, better look to the east,
And I'm hoping that nobody gets hurt!
So the tale I'll be telling, when your boss isn't yelling
And not tugging at the hem of your skirt!

    Don't ... want to be a bore, we
    Need to be a-settin' things right!
    It's ... kinda long and gory,
    I'll tell you the story
    Some other night!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Given Sweetheart's management style, Tip may have started reinforcing his hems against just such an eventuality, Mark.
Kathy Moon (flipkat) says:

Neverending Story reference! Nice! Wait, does this mean someone else will have to do the telling after the whole thing's over?

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Old War sounds mainoverarchingplotworthy.

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 You can get all sorts of things out.. just not swamp water.

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

I'm almost certain that Shaenon and Jeff think differently, but if I were writing a story wherin someone in Louisiana referred to "the Old War", it would certainly be the Yankee invasion of 1861-65.

Liz Butler (hypothetical_woman) says:

@ drhistory - Pff, Tip can rock any look he likes.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

"My... heart"?

That's it! That's how you defeat the boss! You aim for/yank out its heart/eye/pulsating/glowing organ!

Nick Lardas (voyager) says:

Which pulsating/glowing organ?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Michelle", The Beatles)

Monsieur, mon coeur,
Dude, your ass is grass today for sure!
Oui, Monsieur!

You're lucky, you're lucky, you're lucky,
That still you're in one piece!
Though soon, you'll be deceased!
I'll ignore your pleas
As this disease
Called "human" I'll cure ...

Monsieur, mon coeur,
Votre âne est herbe ce jour!
Oui, Monsieur!


I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
All humans I detest!
But you, I hate the best!
So just save the bull!
Tomorrow, you'll
Be hurting for sure,
Oui, Monsieur!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: If your organ glows and or pulses for more than four hours, consult a physician and/or botanist.
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: The site's Javascript seems borked today: I had to disable scripting for WCN before I could comment, and that left a bit of HTML in the comment box: "<p><br mce_bogus="1"></p>"
David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: We may get to see just how fearsome Tip's superpower can be....
Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 Cautiously optimistic now, but hey! Human hating hive mind swamp. Remy.. well, best of luck.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

I thought Cajun endearments only have to do with food. And probably sayin' "Booyah!" or "Bam!"

This guy I know (thisguy) says:

Amazing, Ed. Just... wow.

mental_mouse: It doesn't seem any different than usual to me--I always seem to have to stay on the daily page (as opposed to "this week so far") to comment.

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

@Nick Lardas: I don't know, but that's usually how you defeat video game bosses, especially in Legend of Zelda. It probably works the same for things with composite anatomies.

Incidentally, my comments, when wedged between those of the spambots (Destroy!), seemed similar, where relevance to the strip was concerned. I'll try to tone that down.

M Lowe-Hentges (annechen67) says:

Aha, the NOLA version of "You know he's a no-good piece a nothin', bless his heart."

 

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

She used a come-along on his get-along. You have to get along to get a head, so they say.

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

That was along way to go to make a joke, Joyce.

The Auld Grump (theauldgrump) says:

Could be worse, could be a cow joke. Those go on for heifer and heifer, and heifer...

 

The Auld Grump

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Stayin' Alive", The Bee Gees)

Oh, you can tell, 'cause I'm overly polite,
That my temper's short, so treat me right!
Humans make me want to shout,
"They're a pestilence, let's wipe 'em out!"
But now I need help!  As you can see,
My true love's hanging from that tree ...
Dragged you here, you're not dead yet,
So don't split hairs with me, bebette!

Zombies need a-feedin',
But still, your help I'm needin'
And that's why you're alive!  Why you're alive!
You can end my sorrow
(I'll tell you why tomorrow)
And that's why you're alive!  Why you're alive!
Oui, oui, oui, oui,
Why you're alive!  Why you're alive!
Oui, oui, oui, oui,
Why you're aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive ...

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Cypress and Alphonse

Sitting in a tree,

R-O-T-T-I-N-G...

 

Yeah, Ed's better at this, but you do what you can.

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

For once, sleepyjohn, one of us outshone Ed. Beautiful.

Joseph W. (alberich) says:

(Tune: "The Logical Song" by Supertramp)

When I was young
It seems that life was all swampy slime
Same as I'm, that was my paradigm, a lonely time.
And all the birds in the trees
Played like the birds and bees, got nookie - unlike me.
But then I broke me away
To teach myself to be lovable
Beddable, oh bonkable, goinkable
And then I juiced up a corpse
So I could make me available,
Marriageable, eligible, conjugal.

And down here, it wasn't hard at all
I went to carnival
And carried out my plan.
And that man, who went to bed with me
Is hanging from that tree -
I hate the race of man.

Now watch what you say
Or such a symphony of pain you'll get
Dismemberment, such pain, my pet, oh, yes, bebette
I'll have to rend all your limbs
And then I'll throw them right over there,
Maul like a bear, tear out your hair, oh, yes, mon chere

But behave, and you'll stay right here with me,
Studying anatomy
Here in my swampy glades.  
For I've plans for you and Unity
You're destiny's to be
My new ma-ri-tal aids.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

I don't know who to hurt first for the bad pun: Johnn, Auld or Joyce. Maybe I'll start with Ed.

Terry Smith (wcfan) says:

That's Baron Saturday, right?

Cat Bascle (mage_cat) says:

Yeah, people forget that New Orleans weathered Katrina itself just fine as such things go.  Most of the levee breaks and major flooding happened shortly after.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Camptown races," Stephen Foster (1850)

Army Corps of Engineers f****d up, f****d up
Built bad levees, now it's clear
They made New Orleans flood

Zombie corpses rise
Vengeance in their eyes
Land subsides and Alphonse dies
Humankind's name is mud

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: well that is an interesting fairly dark turn in the story, not saying that is a bad thing mind you but mass death is heavier than the normal fair for SH. I wonder how the team will cope with it.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

"Pride (In The Name of Love)", U2

I knew love with my man, Alphonse ...
I took human form ...
I felt love in my heartwood, once ...
Then there came the storm ...

    And then came the flood!
    The storm first, then came the flood!
    And then came the flood!
    The dam burst, then came the flood!

See the storm surge, so many drowned!
See the land subside!
See me searching, and then I found
That my love had died ...

    When there came the flood,
    The storm first, then came the flood!
    When there came the flood!
    He submersed when came the flood!

Monday morn, August twenty-nine,
In two-thousand-five ...
Alphonse said, "It will all be fine" ...
Now he's un-alive!

    When there came the flood,
    The storm first, then came the flood!
    When there came the flood!
    How I cursed, when came the flood!

    When there came the flood,
    That day, worst, when came the flood!
    When there came the flood!
    My heart burst, when came the flood!

Mason Kramer (masonk) says:

Dark turn?

Did you miss all the brain eating zombies over the last few weeks, Adam?

Death doesn't get much more massive than a rampaging horde of zombies.

M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

@Mason Kramer: The zombies are dead of unknown causes and being played for comic effect. Katrina was a real thing that killed a lot of real people for preventable reasons and is being played as having ended a great love story prematurely. Moving from a comic work of fiction to a real-life tragedy being played as such is definitely a "dark turn" in my book.

Eeyore the 3061st (eeyore3061) says:

More like, 'Thanks Plans Department for giving in to Land Development Speculators'  Whole ... tracks-of-land got taken out of the Flood Control Plan that led to exposing the work of bad contractors.  

John Sears (john_sears) says:

The ZRC objects to the term 'rampaging horde of zombies'.  These Zombie-like creatures weren't rampaging at all, as has now been made clear; they had a clear objective, to retrieve Remy.  For that matter they're more like appendages to a hive mind, so blaming them would be like blaming the pinky finger of a man who breaks your jaw in a bar fight.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Hold on, I thought Venus/Cypress was mad (and/or went mad) because Alphonse had divorced her, but it's because he drowned.  If both events happened five years ago, I guess he must have filed for divorce shortly before he died, and Venus/Cypress didn't know about it.  When Sweetheart and Tip serve the papers, all hell's gonna break loose, even heller than it has already.

Joseph W. (alberich) says:

Couldn't it have the opposite effect? - "He was going to do that?  Drowning's too good for him.  Well done, human race.  And with this convenient body here, I'm going to try being a guy next time..."

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Joseph: Oooooh, I like your version even better, but I wouldn't put money on it.  Say, is there any kind of betting pool over what kinds of twists and bounces the plot will take?  Or better yet, a Fantasy Shaenon/Jeff League?  I'll trade Moustachio and two gerbils to be named later for Unity.

David Hughes (miserichord) says:

Do not blame the Army Corp of Enginners for the failure of the NO levees.

Since the late 1950's the CoE has been saying the levees were inadequete.

Between 1960 and 2005, Congress budgeted enough money to replace all the NO levees with higher, wider and longer levees several times over.

The LA and NO politicos frittered it all away, not leaving the CoE enough to even maintain the existing levees.

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

It's always worrying when a Scientist starts talking about magic.  On the one hand, it makes them sound like they've finally lost it.  On the other, you can't help wondering if they're on to something.

John Sears (john_sears) says:

In this comic, a scientist losing it and being on to something are usually synonymous.

Of course the something is often mutated and merely a stepping stone on the path to world domination.

James Rice (jhrice) says:

Michael,  That's why in science, nothing trumps evidence.  Either you've got it, or you don't.

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

I know.  However, before they've explained it, it could still go either way.

 

Viktor Dosk (hugin) says:

Even after they explained it, it could go either way. 
"I read from the Necronomicon, and, as you can see, summoned a horde of non-euclidian creatures that should not exist into our world. Isn't it GRAND? Ia, Ia and all that."

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

The birch has to be on something. Perhaps she sniffed some Euclid-lyptus leaves?

(I'm sorry.)

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Believe", Cher)

(....Afterlife, afterlife, afterlife, afterlife ...)

Here amid the swampy air,
You've been brought to me, mon cher!
I have made this chart
To explain my heart!
Because I-I-I have been a
Bit upse-et since Katrina,
So help me know, or face my wrath ...
I know I'm right 'cause I did math!

   For I believe in love after life!
   And I know your pow'r extends quite far,
   To sever the shadows like a knife!

   Yes, I believe in love after life!
   Where the Reaper haunts, you'll find Alphonse,
   Returning him to his loving wife!

Mel Van Weelden (kessalia) says:

Yeah Remy, bring him back to life just in time for her to get served divorce papers, so she can kill him all over again!    (still wishing for Remy pinups)

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

"I don't dabble in necromancy. Have you seen the outfits you have to wear?" ~ Helen B. Narbon

(ET assumed most scientists shared that sentiment)

(Now ET is shown a horrifying new facet of their superficially methodical mien)

EDIT: E.T. knows that there is a difference between religion and necromancy and apologizes for lumping them in together.

Paul Lenoue (palenoue) says:

She uses charts?  Can't wait to see her in an argument with Sweetheart.

Rob (rrreed) says: Charts didn't work for H. Ross Perot's presidential aspirations…
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile