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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Daily
65 comments:
Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

2208 PST.  That is some fast spam, yan.

Grant McCormick (grantcmccormick) says:

No wedding gowns nor funeral shrouds.

Though we do have Black Dresses . . . .

Spam that's — almost — relavant.

And a meaningless comment once the spam is canned.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Maybe the spammers drove him away.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "And I Love Her", The Beatles)

My loving husband died ...
Now bring him back!
Don't tell me that you "tried"!
You'll get a smack!
How I loved him!

Year after lonely year,
I've waited long ...
Don't tell me what you hear!
You're hearing wrong!
How I loved him!

   I will not let
   Our true love die!
   G*dd*mmit, I
   Want him near me!

Deep in the swampy South
Where 'gators roam,
If I possessed a mouth,
Then it would foam!
How I love him!

E.T. the Eccentric Type (et_the_eccentric_type) says:

Erm... was that copy/pasted? 'Cause I can see art shift.

*hastily adding*

...Not that there's anything wrong with copy/paste. Maximum output, minimum effort, et cetera.

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

Hah!  Little does she know that Unity is Never rational!

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

Venus seems to have made the classic error (not quite as famous as NBAASWDIOTL) of assuming that Unity will be seeking a rational solution.

I think it is far more likely that she will opt for a solution like pi (mmmm, pi), or maybe something more radical!

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Little lion man," Marcus Mumford (Mumford & Sons, Sigh No More, 2009)

Had to chase my fox-fur hat
Instead of following what Sweetheart said
Crud, little zombie girl
You're stuck here in a pile of the undead
Left my phone with Remy and
I didn't even bring my good right hand
My team went the other way
But I had to pursue the zombie band

But it was not their fault but mine
I wound up dangling from a vine
I really f****d it up this time
Didn't I, my dears?
Didn't I, my...

Wonder who will rescue me
'Cause generally that's my job to do
Tremble, little zombie girl
You're suddenly without a limb or two
Cypress put me off the scent
By plying me with cookies and high tea
I should have been working 'stead of
Kissing boys and watching iCarly

But it was not their fault but mine
Now Remy's dangling from a vine
I really f****d it up this time
Didn't I, my dears?
Didn't I, my dears?
Didn't I, my dears?

Look out, 'cause Venus crossed the line
I may be legless in the slime
But I will f*** her up in time
Unity is here
And she knows no fear
Unity is here!

woozy (woozy) says:

I don't think Unity's very transendental, so I think pi is out.  She's pretty radical and her rationality is imaginary which makes her pretty complex.  I'd go with i*1/2 + sqrt(3)/2 but that's just a personal favorite of mine.

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

The last panel of today's strip is the last panel of the first strip in the storyline. Looks like flashback time is over.

woozy (woozy) says:

D'oh!  I can't believe it didn't occur to me to also mention that i*1/2 + sqrt(3)/2 is, of course, a root of Unity.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Well, if she expects Unity to be rational, she has made a minor mistake.
Rob (rrreed) says: The probability of Unity pursuing an irrational solution to any specific problem? Approaching Unity!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right", Bob Dylan)

Cypress daughter thinks that Remy's useless,
See the long tendril wind ...
Cypress daughter thinks that Remy's useless,
Just like the rest of his kind!
This semi-crazy swamp en-ti-ty,
Says, "Zombie girl will surely come to me!"
Unity finds out she's torn into three,
And she thinks, "Well, this bites!"

"Now that I have your attention, sugar ..."
Says the swamp thing to our friend ...
"Now that I have your attention, sugar ..."
Now this chapter can end!
Poor Unity, she should have turned and ran,
Told Remy, "Get out now while you still can!"
So we're back to where this chapter began,
And she thinks, "Well, this bites!"

Sean Riedinger (ariamaki) says:

Dear Kay Gilbert

 

Thank you so damn much. Seeing a -Little Lion Man- filk made my day.

Also, huzzah for returning to the present!

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

There's only one rational potentially rational individual entity in this strip and he's sweet on Unity a voodoo priest.

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

NBAASWDIOTL?

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Never Bet Against A Sicilian When Death Is On The Line.
Wayne (wayne) says:

"The first, of course, is never get involved in a land war in Asia."

NGIIALWIA is almost pronounceable.  It figures that a member of the Dave conspiracy would explain it for us.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Sean: Thanks much!  I'm obsessed with Mumford and Sons.  Their music is glorious, and I can't quite process that they're not Irish.

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

I'm not convinced that "potentially rational" and "sweet on Unity" are descriptors that can be applied to the same person.

And it's "Never Go In Against A Sicilian When Death Is On The Line".

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

I know it's generated by a spambot, but "personooking" would be kind of a cool synonym for "making out."

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Either she really needs to watch an episode of Darkwing Duck or maybe that's an odd way of saying "Cybil."

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

Somehow I doubt saying that you'll have to 'Vet' those in advance will cut much ice with Sweetheart.

After all, dogs hate Vets.

Brian McPherson (brian-m) says:

Even Vietnam Vets?

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

"Shut up and jump in the swamp" is a much better Hero Quip(tm). See how easy it is if you don't try so hard, Sweetheart?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Physical", Olivia Newton-John)

Trying to track down Unity,
Zombies are on our tails ...
Sweetheart is trying to turn a phrase,
But really, she fails ...

Brian now says we're closing in,
Heat sigs confirm the same ...
Sweetheart lets out her Hero Quip
That's really kinda lame!

Let's get civil, now!  Civil now!
We're gonna get civil, now!
Let's cut out the drivel, now!
Shut up and jump in the swamp!
It's time to romp!
Shut up and jump in the swamp!

It's time for Team Bureaucrat!  Bureaucrat!
It's time for Team Bureaucrat!
Paperwork is where it's at!
Stop 'em with the proper forms!
We're getting warm!
Stop 'em with the proper forms!

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

You're about to jump out a helicopter, and you have to put your foot in the badassity.

@Andrew Kunz: "I am the terror that barks in the night, I am the paperwork that piles on your desk, I am Agent Sweetheart"?

Paul Lenoue (palenoue) says:

They're about to serve up a whole plate of civility on that swamp critter!

This guy I know (thisguy) says:

Er, what exactly is the difference between the heat signature of a swamp and that of a sentient swamp? Or is Nick looking at zombies? Either way, I am confuzzled (but halfway to an explanation that would pass muster on Star Trek--I think I've reached Star Wars levels of believability already).

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

the heat sig is probably unity's?

 

i heart "get civil".  so canadian! :)

Sam Daniel (samhdaniel) says:

How does Brian say anything? Sign language?....

Rob (rrreed) says: Remy should certainly have a heat signature above ambient, assuming he actually is (still, or ever was) human, an assumption that I won't make lightly given the past of this strip!).
Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

Metal Band?  Norwegian footballer?  Illustrator?  North Dakotan businessman?

Unity could be thinking of any of these, depending on whether she wants music, spare parts, or braaiiiinnsss.

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

Huh.  Nanites?  I suppose that explains something.  Though I'd have figured she'd be smarter.

woozy (woozy) says:

Well, when you get down to it we're all collective organisms in a way, arent' we?

>>Unity could be thinking of any of these, depending on whether she wants music, spare parts, or braaiiiinnsss.

Um, don't we know from the very beginning that she's thinking about music?

Not that I have the slightest clue what Dokken is...

Viktor Dosk (hugin) says:

No way she's nanites. I'm thinking she's the amalglamation of every part that's ever been attached to her. And her right index finger from six years ago belonged to the zodiac killer, so that's overriding all less powerful personalities in her. 

Rob (rrreed) says: Nanites, nothing! Individual molecules of VitaRay-irradiated, yottacoulomb-activated, non-blood classified SPAM™ naturally attain sentience as a side effect of the process! It's the food blood substitute that's good for you, and thinks it's good for you, too!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "You've Got A Friend In Me", Randy Newman)

Honey, you're just like me ...
You think collectively ...
Your not-blood is full o' these tiny parts!
Come on, don't you feel it within your hearts?
Though you're torn in pieces (I bet that smarts!),
You know, honey, you're just like me!

I felt a connection, earlier today,
When we at first were talkin' ...
When you saw my zombies comin' this way,
You shoulda kept walkin'!
(What's awesome?  It's Dokken!)

Though you may try and try,
The fact you can't deny!
You're not like those warm-blooded fools, you see!
Honey, you're just like me!
Collective entity!
Honey, you're just like me!

Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

Norman Thallheimer, it's the metal band.  We're seeing thr start of this arc all over again.  UNITY originally was thinking about how boring this all was and how it needed a cool soundtrack.  (I think)

Now we're seeing what the cypress were actually saying.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Just occurred to me: shouldn't it be Dökken? Or Døkken? Or perhaps Dokkèn?

Møøse for the win!

Dave Estep (cyaegha) says:

 Dokken? No, Sepultura.

James Mirkle (jmzlost) says:

@ampersand888 - No, it's just Dokken. 

official website - http://www.dokken.net/

JMZ

Jacob Haller (jwgh) says:

Ah, Unity.  When she's right, she's right.

N B (daveclone7) says:

Ah, now it seems we're hearing the other side of the conversation from week 1 of the storyline.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Felony," Dokken (Breaking the Chains, 1982)

Unity
Missing legs and arm
I don't think
She can still do harm
Unity
Won't you work with me
You'll be Venus
For eternity

This swamp is your grave
Unity
You might as well cave
Unity, Unity, Unity, yeah
Unity, Unity, Unity

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

Metal band... presumably. With Unity, I'm not confident that the assumption that it wasn't a complete non sequitur is a safe one.

M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

I've been thinking "It's Not Love" was probably the appropriate song of theirs for this occasion, but I don't know that Unity's been around for enough of the plot revelations to know that.

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

<after checking back to September 22, not quite six months ago ^_^>

Deiter M. clearly has a better memory than I do.  It will be easier when I read it all at once in the dead tree edition.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Which side are you on?," Florence Reece (1931)

The Skin Horse team has gathered
Hooray for our brave gang
Now they must hang together
Or separately they'll hang

[chorus]
Whose side are you on, Tip?
Whose side are you on?
Whose side are you on, Tip?
Whose side are you on?

An entity named Venus
Has caught them in a trap
If she can't have her husband
Their necks she's gonna snap

[chorus]

"Poor Unity," thinks Sweetheart
"My chopped-up bubuleh"
But racquetball meant mayhem
So Tip is thinking, "Meh"

[chorus]

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Rag Doll", Aerosmith)

CHORUS:
    Rag doll!  Unity in pieces!
    Our team's ... trouble never ceases!
    Venus ... says she won't release us
    While her zombies attack!
    Rag doll!  Madder than a hatter!
    Poor girl!  Arms 'n' legs are scattered!
    Tip says ... doesn't really matter
    'Cause our baby got back!

Who's coming?  Why it's Sweetheart!
She wishes she could de-part!
Says Venus, "Now remember,
You're easily dismembered!"
In mid-air she'll suspend them!
In pieces she could rend them,
Like Unity, but more so!
Just head 'n' arm 'n' torso!
Tip says, "No worse than last fall,
We taught her racquetba-all!"
Sweetheart scowlin', barkin' and a-growlin',
"Whose side are you on?", but Tip could really use a towel, man!

    (repeat CHORUS)

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Dead, infested and conscripted. It's a dog's life.

Zarathustra's Id (zarathustrasid) says:

$10 on Tip seducing the swamp.

Viktor Dosk (hugin) says:

@Zara. No bet. Tip is just that good, and she's desperate. 

 

Also, Ew. 

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: I'll add $10. On Tip seducing etc.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "The Book Of Love", The Monotones)

CHORUS:
    Well now, sugar, look her mind's got a deadly plan
    Man!
    She feels a lack of love!

Venus lost her Alphonse,
Now she feels a lack of love!
Prepares a violent re-sponse
Now that push has come to shove!
    (repeat CHORUS)

Step one, she will kill you,
Kill you until you're dead!
Step two, she'll infect you,
Inject you and infect you from your feet up to your head!
In step three you're invading,
Destroying the human race!
In step four you're stuck waiting
At the muffaletta place!
    (repeat CHORUS)

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Great. We're left for Nick to save their Nutterpacking bacon.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Tip's just trying to make it clear that there is a downside. :)

Joseph W. (alberich) says:

@Andrew - Maybe.  I'd still love to see Sweetheart save the day by actually serving the divorce papers, and changing the swamp's mind about the husband.

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile