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Smithson Thus Far... ·

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115 comments:
woozy (woozy) says:

Okay, I like the talking black cat.

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

I love the Bambi reference. 

woozy (woozy) says:

Okay, is the bipedal dinosaur with a ukeleli on its back a reference to something.

Funny, of on the weird things, the least weird is the black cat;  and that's the one I like the best.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

.....the ducks have little hands... For some reason, that weirds me out the most. o_O

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Working For The Man", Roy Orbison)

Hey now, all you transgenic folk in Cleveland town ...
I say, you better, better, better, better look around ...
Stick closely to your herd or pack or flock or clan ...
Today, you'd best beware of Man!

Well, pick up your paws!
We can't depend on laws
That humans say were made for us ...
We can't relax,
Hear the growling and quacks,
That give away our nervousness ...

    We must all beware of Man!
    All beware of Man!
    Better leave while we can,
    We're all afraid of Man!

Well, they're everywhere!
They ain't got much hair,
Just brains and opposable thumbs!
Can't trust bipeds,
Especially Feds ...
Look out, another one comes!

    We must all beware of Man!
    All beware of Man!
    We all packed up and ran,
    Run away from Man!

Cesario VIola (cesarioviola) says:

Tip just looks so darling in this dress...

Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Yay! Undead Tip!

Isolde Killroy (darkwolfblood_ravenwillowmoon) says:

The adbots are getting bolder. We must repel their incursion! TO ARMS MY BROTHERS! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says: Oh, and if anyone's interested, the second half of my prose story "The All-Night Truck Stop Polka Band" is now up at Strange Horizons.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

And a good story it is.

Rachel S. (masamage) says:

Mahahahahahaha! Panel three is wonderful~

woozy (woozy) says:

The first time I read Panel Three, I mentally dropped the period and thought it said "Danger man is in the house" thinking it was some reference to the Patrick McGowan tv show.

That's what I get for having never read nor seen Bambi.

woozy (woozy) says:

That's a very strange expression Sweetheart has in panel two.

JP Chabot (speedball) says:

@Woozy: I think it's an expression that says "I will tolerate being scratched on the head, but that's it."

 

Come to think of it, Sweetie doesn't get head-skritchies very often, does she?

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Shaenon: I totally want Tip's outfit, and this is just one of many.  If you're ever looking for a third career, consider fashion design.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@Kay: Gotta agree with you.  I just wish I could pull off a dress like that.  And in panel 3 it looks like it's a 'sweetheart' neckline too. 

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

Not many of Tip's outfits are based on clothes I could or would ever wear, but I actually own that dress. And the cloak.
woozy (woozy) says:

JP Chabot:

 

Well, a head-scratch would be kind of personal for a dog wouldn't it?  A bit like a hug or a kiss on the cheek.  So.... Artie, meeting up with a past associate, gives her a chaste scratch on the head and ... well, I kind of lose it there.  Maybe it's like a demure woman offering her fingers for a delicate handshake?  Or closing her eyes as she kisses an acquaintance on the cheek?  Or a submissive dog lowering her eyes to and accepted alpha? 

I think it's supposed to be something like that but I'm not sure which.

woozy (woozy) says:

...or she's subconciously already surrendered to H.T's charm and she's adopted cat mannerisms of closing her eyes and leaning her head into it when head-skritched.

woozy (woozy) says:

Oh no...  I *think* I'm calling it.  H.T. felinenss has rubbed of on Sweetheart.  Arties gayness has rubbed off on Tip.  Sweethearts love of Cleaveland has rubbed off on H.T.  And someone else's evil has rubbed off on Artie.

Of course, Every time I've called it in the past, I've been dead wrong.

And also, some-one else, I forget who called external influences altering main characters' behavior so if I am right (*ha* fat chance) I have to give him/her credit for calling behavior modification first.

woozy (woozy) says:

Oh Lord.

Then if I'm right we'll get to see Tip turn into a gerbil.  Thoundercloud will develope a hat phobia.  And the myna bird (or crow?) who thinks he's human isn't crazy after all.

And Tip will turn into a gerbil.

That is ... if I'm right.  Which I'm obviously not.

Rachel S. (masamage) says:

I love Sweetheart politely receiving her scritches.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Re panel 2: This implies that he's seen a(nother) federal agent in drag before.

Panel 3: In his cleavage, of course.
Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

I'm calling that HT's the villain.

@SoItBegins: Denise from Twin Peaks?

Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

This is Arty. Of *course* he's seen federal agents in drag before. Given his past includes a giant robotic foot, death rays, mutant ur-gerbils and a lot of guys named Dave.....he's probably seen everything up to and including an ostrich with a monocle and a rather spiffing accent. Federal agents in drag are probably relatively common.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "You Can't Hide Your Lyin' Eyes", The Eagles)

Somewhere in a res-tau-rant in Cleveland,
Tip and Sweetheart show up for their date ...
Artie's at the door, he says "Good evening,"
They both reply, "I hope we're not too late."

Sweetheart's tense, she's not sure what will happen ...
Skritches on her head will calm her nerves ....
Tip says, "Guess where I've concealed my weapon!"
But first, they'll have sustainable hors d'oeuvres!

Still, though Artie's dressed up oh-so-formal,
Tip's not sure just how he feels 'bout that ...
Ones with fur, are ones who seem most normal,
'Cause Tip's upset with Artie's loud cravat!

     "I despise ... his taste in ties!
     'Cause it cla-a-ashes with my eyes!
     Though surpri-singly, he's wise,
     Yet I still despise this guy's supplies of ties!"

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

@shaenon we demand photographic evidence!  aren't you the one always saying you like pix of people dressed up as your characters? :)

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

"His tie completely clashes with my eyes."  "Oh yes, a hat-monster would say that".

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

you know what? given that this *is* the narbonverse, tip is now one social step away from helen and her genderbending technology.  which might give him some additional mojo with tigerlily after all.

eh, maybe just in my fangrrl dreams :)

woozy (woozy) says:

>>>I'm calling that HT's the villain.

Oh, I hope not.  Talking tigers are just too cute.

I'm calling the bird who thinks he's human and/or the human that thinks he's human that made the bird think he's human.

But I gotta be wrong, right?

James Kehl (shykta) says:

@drbrain: It's not Helen's genderbending technology, it's *Artie's*. And the main ingredient is alfalfa... I wonder if it's sustainable enough to be in the hors d'ouvres?

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

sustainable hors d'ouevres?   Devilled eggs from free-range chickens?

N B (daveclone7) says:

@pete: Now I'm picturing a young David Duchovny as Tip.  And wondering why I hadn't up until now.

gwen patton (ardrhi) says:

What IS sustainable food when the animals could potentially be the speakers at the next symposium?  Algae? Yeast? Comet-CHON?

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

@shaenon we demand photographic evidence!

Check Facebook. Or Google. Thanks to my ridiculous first name, all my horrible secrets are easy to search online.
Rob (rrreed) says: Me, I'm waiting to see if either Tip or Sweetheart has a sudden onset of hiccups.
Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

I've commented before that Tip is kind of a combination of David Duchovny's characters on Twin Peaks, The X-Files, and Californication. He has the power of many Ducovnys.

Fortunately he has a better haircut than David Ducovny in The Rapture.
Diane Castle (deecee) says:

I'm guessing the squirrels are behind it all.  I have this thing about squirrels.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

'Sustainable hors d'oeuvres'.  Huh; why do I see kudzu and bamboo making a showing in the next few minutes?  And I just can't see Artie as a villain of any sort, I just can't. This may well be due to my gulping down the entire Narbonic series over a period of four days... wow, that was tasty! But Artie as the bad guy? No way. On the other hand, that dolphin-- yeah. Possibly.  Never trust anything that nature has designed to smile all the time.

And Oh Yeah, the sidearm.... hmmm... I'd guess a thigh-holster. Kinda uncomfortable, especially for a gun the size of Alice, but it'd work.

woozy (woozy) says:

To a grad-student or a starving artist, there's nothing odd about sustainable hors d'oeuvres.  Many a time I relied on the hors d'oeuvres to sustain me through a weekend.  Often it was the only reason I'd attend the damned departmental meetings. 

I suppose technically, *I* was the one who was sustainable by the hor d'oeuvres.   If "sustainable" means capible of being sustained, what is the word for capible of doing the sustaining.  What?  Simply "sustaining" .... oh ....

A.G. Hopkins (blackbyrd2) says:

Ed: If there were ever any doubt at all about your supremacy at filk, this line has to have removed it;

"Yet I still despise this guy's supplies of ties!"

 

Yes, I logged in just to say that.

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says: sigh... photographic evidence: was that so hard?
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Shaenon in dress, rowr. Dude in gold skintights, not so much.
Viktor Dosk (hugin) says: Oh gee, the feline and the rodent don't get along. Though since cats are lying down with dogs, I held out some hope. :(
Beach Fox (beachfox) says:

Always so awkward when your Ex shows up to a double date...

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

OH. Um. Didn't think about that... cat and rodent thing. Whoops.

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

Artie's the only one who knows that the tiger runs a spambot network.

Mark SHANKS (drhistory) says:

...and I just though it was Artie's super-gay power acting across species lines...  Sweetheart's gonna be so pissed when Artie steals her cat.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: HOBBES!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I Feel Fine", The Beatles)

Well, we're out now on our double date,
And H.T.'s here, a wee bit late,
He says, "Hi ...
I've just brought a little bottle of wine!"

But then suddenly, he's seeing Artie!
Tiger jumps back with a start, he
Blinks eye ...
Drops his little bottle, not a good sign!

   See them there ...
   Seems they recognize!
   See them stare,
   Can't believe their eyes!

Now is each one stunned by what he sees
Because they're natur'l enemies?
They could die ...
Or they'll be each other's new valentine!

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

Transgenic tiger with a prehensile tail.

Enunciate it properly, three times.

Adam (10-0-0-1) says: My bet is on them being exes, and add to it that they are still hot for eachother.
Frank (pokefan_frank) says:

Oooo! Previously unresolved tension! Must see!

@ugwump: I was about to say that!

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: So I'm guessing H.T. probably bought that wine at Heinens'.
vicka corey (drbrain) says:

maybe they're not even exes (yet :)

gwen patton (ardrhi) says:

It's a rampage! Duck and cover!

Adam Underfoot (unnatural20) says:

drbrain, I like the way you think (villainously)
Rob (rrreed) says: o/~ Dum Dum DUMMMM o/~
woozy (woozy) says:

different teams...  *oog*

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Hey, players get traded to different teams aaaaaaall the time. <3  Especially the really flexible, adaptable ones.  Just sayin'.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair," Richard Rodgers & Oscar Hammerstein II (South Pacific, 1949)

I'm gonna snag that man with beautiful hair
I'm gonna snag that man with beautiful hair
I'm gonna snag that man with beautiful hair
And then I'll have my way (Get the picture?)

I'm gonna woo that man so dressed-up and fine
I'm gonna woo that man so dressed-up and fine
I'm gonna woo that man so dressed-up and fine
And then I'll have my way

It's not an accident that we met, when we met
You and I were meant to be: babe magnet, stud magnet
It's a fact that we attract
Each other

I'm gonna stretch my definition of hot
I'm gonna go where heretofore I had not
I'm gonna bind him in a manharness knot
And then I'll have my way

Though the man's not what I'm used to
Though we play for different teams
Waste no time, make him sigh
Then remove that clashing tie
It's the night to complete my
Sexual paradigm shift (Yo ho!)

Though the man's not what I'm used to
Though we play for different teams
Waste no time, show finesse
Then remove that sexy dress
It's my night for adventure
Soon I'll unwrap that gift (Yo ho! Yo ho!)

I'm gonna have a ball with Artie tonight
I'm gonna do it all, with Tip I'll ignite
Because we're so enthralling in black and white
And soon we'll have our way!

Ben N (mittfh) says:

*Snark* Same role (in more than one way) for different teams (in more than one way). Punfest ahoy! :)

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Quite the sophisticated pun.
So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Oh, also: HOBBES!
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "These Dreams", Heart)

On a date we went, canine and feline,
With a pair of gents, both are looking fine!
With a slight faux paw, that's how the evening starts ...
For respective teams, they play sim'lar parts ...

These teams, they each have a studly guy ...
Each one looking so fine, he gets a glass of wine!
Such dreams, with their fans who stand in line ...
Their libido's exteme!  They play for diff'rent teams ...
(If you know what I ... what I mean!)

Tiff Hudson (tiff_hudson) says:

I love brilliant writing. That twist is gonna make me feel good all day.

Greg Mosher (noc) says:

Oh man.  For the record: this is a good one!  One of those where you (and by "you" I mean "me") spend a couple seconds staring at it, blinking, trying to figure out what- OH.  HAHAHAHAHAHahahahaha. Hahahahahahahah.  *cough.*  *cough* ~hack.  Oh man.  

Like that.  That was a demonstration.  I think it's H.T's O.O in the background that does it, personally.

steve wallis (drsteve) says:

Makes me wonder how the conversation might go/have gone in a a different direction. The statement: "I know Artie." leads to the next question, "How do you know Artie?" Which leads to an interesting possible answer: "Biblically."

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

Did you notice that Sweetheart seems oblivious to the tension between HT and Artie?  

Do you suppose she's too nervous about being on a 'date'?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

*Andrew's head explodes from the implications.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Hey!  Isn't anyone going to buy a peppermint schnapps for the lady with the freshly-groomed coat?

"I know Artie."  There's a whole world of implication that you can fit into those three words.

Kathy Moon (flipkat) says:

But see, that would imply that HT is trans-species too, since Artie's attracted to human males.

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

I'm still trying to figure out where they are. If they're downtown, they're almost certainly somewhere on E. 4th Street, but if they're not they could be anywhere. Hmm, they wouldn't go all the way out to Chagrin Falls, or even the inner ring suburbs, so that would limit them pretty much to downtown, Murray Hill, University Circle, Coventry, or Tremont, right? That narrows it down nicely, to only like 60 restaurants.

Pete Bleackley (petethemadscientist) says:

Interestingly, every gerbil that Artie expressed attraction to was female.

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: @Pete - I noticed that, too. Maybe the human "gay gene" is the gerbil "short whiskers" gene, or something along those lines?
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: @Joe - Don't forget about the Warehouse District.
Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: @Joe - Or Tower City, for that matter.
Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

I've been to some nice restaurants in the Flats.  Tip may be a bit overdressed, but that's his m.o., isn't it?

Rob (rrreed) says: Either the Narbonic Weirdness Censor is in full effect, or the wait staff at this restaurant has had previous dealings with talking animals. Maybe the place is run by a transgenic?
Sean Holland (sea-of-stars) says:

I had a shoutout to Project UNITY is my most recent Mutants & Mastermind RPG session!  Go mad science!

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

@ed gedeon wow, i so did not see that coming from a "bambi" reference.  my mind is now hopelessly hybridized... :)

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", Queen)

Each time ... I go
Out on ... a double date,
I can't ... say no,
These girls, they just can't wait!
We get naked!
Naked in the coat check room!

Before ... first course,
They want ... a roll that's hot!
Without ... remorse,
Salad has dressing but we do not!
We're all naked!
Naked in the coat check room!

    The other guy's there,
    At the table, with just his soup!
    The waitress asks where,
    Where the rest of us are,
    Then she finds us and joins the group!

The ladies, they all ... insist,
I use ... my pelvic twist!
They squeal ... they shout,
They all ... love eating out!
'Cause we're naked!
Naked in the coat check room!
Naked in the coat check room!
Naked in the coat check room!

John Ames (commodorejohn) says: If this ends up with the old "double dates swap partners" thing and Tip and Sweetheart are left with each other, I am going to be absolutely giddy.
Vlad Taltos (flyingfish) says:

Of course, this time there's only one woman to take to the coat room, and it's Sweetheart.

Who's already naked.

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

Is not!  She's clearly wearing a fur coat!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

TMI, Tip. TMI.

Wayne (wayne) says:

Wait a minute -- Naked in the Coat Check Room is the name of my Queen tribute band!  Whom do I sue?

Kirt Dankmyer (xiombarg) says:

Sweetheart, you ask a very, very good question.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Okay, I totally take it back. That's the Glare Between Exes that's going on with H.T. and Artie if I ever saw it.

...and the scenario with Tip would have him having a threesome in the coatcheck with his coworker the talking dog and the mutant gerble (obv. not female, but also obv. his date), which kind of makes my head hurt. Although hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained... Still.  Ow ow ow ow ow.  Sweetheart's just not that kind of girl.

woozy (woozy) says:

>>>If this ends up with the old "double dates swap partners" thing and Tip and Sweetheart are left with each other, I am going to be absolutely giddy.

Um, wouldn't the old "DDSP" thing end up with Tip and *HT* together. 

>>>...and the scenario with Tip would have him having a threesome in the coatcheck with his coworker the talking dog and the mutant gerble

Again, would that be Tip in the coatcheck with *HT* and Artie, and Sweetheart, the sole female, stiffed with the bill.  Which *really* ought to make your head hurt.

Greg Mosher (noc) says:

Hmm.  A thought has occurred to me:

If Artie's uncanny attractiveness is a side-effect of his being a metahuman (residing in a sort of "Reverse Uncanny Valley," as it were), what are the chances of Tip's similar ability being a sign that the's not quite as human as he seems either?

Particularly, I'd be curious to hear more about how he came to work for Skin Horse.  Most of the other employees seem to have been picked up through the course of casework shenanigans, but Tip seems to have just "gotten a job" there handling paperwork?  I'll limit my conjecture to SUSPICIOUS, LEADING QUESTIONS for now...but I am keeping my eye on you, Messirs Garrity and Wells.

The keen, all-seeing eye that reads the four-panel comic strips you post on the internet.  The elder, experienced eye with years of experience working cases like this and does things by the book. Also the other one, that's new to the force with a reckless, gung-ho approach to detective work that...oh dear, I seem to have switched genres.

Viktor Dosk (hugin) says: Greg, the Filenamestory is explaining how Tip got the job. It seems to be more about the fact that he was military, had a doctorate, and /really/ needed to be put somewhere less public.
Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Hey, this can end with Tip going off into the coat check room with that cute waitress. And one of the waitresses she told about Tip.  So... same old same old.

Rob (rrreed) says: @Greg & Viktor, I've had my suspicions about Tip for some time now. Think about it:
  • Every other employee of Project Skin Horse is either a known (Unity, Sweetheart, Moustachio, Nick) or strongly suspected (Gavotte) product of mad science
  • Project Skin Horse's function is to identify and assist the products of mad science
I'm wondering if there aren't a few products of mad science considered "high risk", i.e., pose a significant threat to the public should they achieve their full potential if they aren't closely (and covertly) supervised. Moustachio Prime, for example. Or Unity, or to be more precise, her "blood". Sometimes I think Unity's ditziness isn't a symptom of a bad brain cloning job, but rather that her brain is keeping her body in check. If the actions of her separated hands are any indicator, that brain isn't really required. That Tip were another mad scientist's "toy" waiting to become "real" wouldn't surprise me a bit.
Greg Mosher (noc) says:

...oh hey, would you look at that.  Thanks, Viktor!

The filenamestory definitely furthers my suspicion that there's something funny about Tip's recruitment, too.  It's strongly implied that he was handpicked by Gavotte, and there's all those cryptic references to "uncommon skills."  I mean, the revelation that Gavotte is Totally Up To Something isn't exactly news, but I'm still curious about how Tip fits into a recruitment pattern that has otherwise specifically singled out Anasigma projects.  

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says:

I don't think it's a glare between exes -- we already heard that Artie and H.T. are rivals!  I think Tip and Sweetheart just got shoved into someone else's side plot....

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

is nick really a product of "mad" science?  or unity?  my impression is that dr lee isn't exactly mad, she just isn't exactly.... thoughtful.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

I like the guy in the background who seems to be drawing the scene on a tablet but from his expression is wondering whether he is really seeing a tiger. :)

Brian Bogue (badbear) says:

In all the speculation about Tip, two women and coatcheck everyone seems to forget that most coatcheck rooms have a coatcheck girl, the attendent and I suspect that is the source of the second girl.

woozy (woozy) says:

>>>most coatcheck rooms have a coatcheck girl, the attendent and I suspect that is the source of the second girl

But tip wouldn't consider that bad manners at all. 

It's nice to know that he considers getting naked with his and his friend's date leaving the friend behind to be bad manners .  It's discouraging that he considers such bad manners to be usually unavoidable.

Sweetheart says she hates Tip but that's nothing compared to how *I* feel about him after reading today's strip.

Justin Grubbs (jjgrubbs) says:

Ah, the important questions.

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

Artie is not being very forthcoming.  It's all MAD SCIENCE!

Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

I think I've been doing the wrong sort of science....

Name not found (codebracker) says:

I have a feeling if that gun was for sale, Helen would be rich.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "She Blinded Me With Science", Thomas Dolby)

Now deep inside my thalamus,
He stimulates hormonally!
What isn't Artie telling us
That suspects tell us normally?
He body-builds with science ...
(I body-build with SCIENCE!)
I'm questioning him formally!

Over Artie and H.T.
There's an awkward silence, silence!
They both act sus-pi-cious-ly!
Silence ...
So tense!

This physical attraction,
I'll study with psychology!
My glandular reaction
Is simply mere biology!
His body's made of science ...
(My body's made of SCIENCE!)
His muscles have geometry!

JP Chabot (speedball) says:

And now I hate you, Artie. I could work out forever and not be that gorgeous.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

**wistful sigh** I want a hot new body via mad science.  I wouldn't even mind being a mutated gerbil to get it.

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

Also, Ed? That filk is MAGNIFICENT!  Science!

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile