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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

Meanwhile, New Orleans burns....

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Oh, there aren't enough therapy puppets on Earth to handle this one.

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

somebody hasn't quite gotten over the fact that it wasn't actually a "date" :)

Peregrin Walker (peregrin) says:

Snrk. Tip thinks Sweetheart is imprinted on him.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Huh.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Black Betty", Ram Jam)

Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
They started dating (partied hard),
Sweetheart was hating (partied hard)!
Couple guys are gonna flirt (partied hard),
Never made it to dessert (partied hard)!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!

Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
But all that action (partied hard)
Was just distraction (partied hard)!
And to Tip, he hinted (partied hard)
That Sweetheart's imprinted (partied hard)!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!

Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
Sweetheart says, "It's OK" (partied hard)!
Tip, dunno what to say (partied hard)!
He's acting kinda weird (partied hard)!
Not as bad as she had feared (partied hard)!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!
Oh, Tip and Artie, partied hard!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

New Orleans probably wishes it had just dealt with a hurricane, instead of Unity.

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

I wonder if Tip's reaction was it finally hitting him that Artie isn't really human. I mean that deep realization, not just the forebrain intellectual knowledge, but the deep seated realization that he basically committed bestiality.

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

actually i think he's just afraid she's gonna ask him out :)

Jeff Sampson (studenteternal) says:

I wonder if it not the sex, but the insunation from Artie that Skin Horse is actually a Stalking horse for much more sinister intentions.

JP Chabot (speedball) says:

Does it really count as having sex with someone not of your species if he happens to be in a totally human form, and have a mind that is also basically human aside from some intelligence upgrades?

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

I think Tip is deeply humiliated that someone could have sex with him—Tip, the Wonder Stud—and not want a repeat performance, especially when Tip wants one so badly.

Ed, thanks, I'd completely forgotten this song.  It's now in my iPod Dirty Blues playlist!

Rob (rrreed) says: Hmmm…

The Velveteen Rabbit
Skin Horse: Real = Real to the Boy, but not others. Accomplished through one's own actions.

Fairy: Real = Real to all. Requires the Fairy's intervention. Mechanism—magic.

Skin Horse (The Web Comic)
Skin Horse: Real = Real within the community of Mads' Creations but not the rest of the world (Weirdness Censor effects, the Masquerade, specie-ism, "humans fear what they do not understand," etc.)? In line with the function of the Project.

?????: Real = Real to all? Requires ?????'s intervention to overcome/negate previously stated issues? Mechanism—unknown.
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Does no one else see Tip's urgent need to be somewhere else doing something else? I think it is a specific need, place and deed and not just trying to get away from Sweetheart in the moment.

Another Artie assignation? Maybe but story structure wise that would not work well, it's time to move past this arc and into the next one.

Philip Cohen (treesong2) says:

@jdreyfuss: 'Bestiality'? What a speciesist term! To my mind, the difference between bestiality and rishathra is that the latter is with a person. Artie is a person, so giving a nasty name to sex with him is as inappropriate as doing so for, say, 'miscegenation'. Or 'buggery', for that matter. Nothing wrong with it, even if Artie weren't in human form.

Mind you, there are sorts of sexual partners that would squick me, however intelligent, but I don't condemn.

'I'm in love with an octopus,

A slinky, inky octopus.

I'm in love with those eyes of blue

And those eight loving arms around me.'

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

This is why Unity is so endearing, she's just a little kid who eats brains.

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

And anything else in the fridge.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: Heh.
Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Sweetheart shouldn't assume that she's left the weekend safely behind her. As this story from People shows, what happens in Cleveland doesn't always stay in Cleveland:

Matthew Fox got into some trouble in Cleveland, Ohio, on Saturday. The Lost star was detained by police there for allegedly assaulting a female driver of a party bus. Fox allegedly tried to get on the bus even though he wasn't invited to take a ride, according to TMZ, and when the woman tried to stop him, he allegedly punched her. An off-duty officer handcuffed Fox and then police took him into custody. A rep for the Cleveland police department confirms that the actor "was detained, but there was no arrest made." According to the police report, the woman punched back and gave Fox a bloody lip.

Dan Bongard (danbongard) says:

I just want to say that "This was quite possibly the worst hypothetical thing I had ever done" (from Nick's blog) is an awesome line that I will try to steal and use in conversation as soon as possible.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Hello, Goodbye", The Beatles)

There was food ...
Now there's not ...
Now there is ...
But now, no food we've got!

    Great Scott!
    We had no food,
    So I went and bought,
    From Sav-A-Lot,
    A bunch of food
    But then I chewed
    And now there's not!

Had no booze ...
Now we do ...
noW wee dnot /
bbuddddY, i miis youuuuuu ...

    booo hoooooo ...
    I got teh bluez,
    'Cuz we gots no booze ...
    But now we do!
    No need to thank,
    Bcuz I drnank
    It all fr yoouuu!

We had food,
But no brains ...
Found some dude,
And now there's just remains!

    Blood stains ...
    I'll have to wash,
    'Cause I had a nosh!
    Hey, where's your plane?
    You're running late,
    So I just ate
    Somebody's brain!

Grant McCormick (grantcmccormick) says:

@Kay:  Now we're getting Fox news Cleveland?

Jon Stout (brasswatchman) says: ... so what's the verdict on the Muliebrity point? I'm still not sure if I entirely buy it. Sweetheart really *did* seem attracted to HT. Yet, on the other hand, this *is* coming from Artie, who is entirely smart enough to figure things out about Sweetheart that she doesn't even know yet... on the other hand, it's also entirely plausible he lied to H.T. to disrupt the tiger's groove.
Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Grant: I want to hate you, but that was a great line.
@Jon: Sweetheart warned Tip that Artie would care so much about him, he'd end up hurting him.  She had that exactly wrong: Artie hurt Tip by not caring.  Artie could be just as wrong about Sweetheart as she was about him.

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: Joyce melton: "Does no one else see Tip's urgent need to be somewhere else doing something else?" Of course we see it... I'd say he's at least as weirded out as Sweetheart by the weekend!
li junjie (tddz2011) says:

It sucks, but it applies to everyone, not just bloggers. I sell handmade jewelry via the internet and have to have a biz license in my city. As for free speech, newspapers, radio stations, TV stations and magazines also pay taxes, licensing fees, etc. You engage in any activity that brings in money, no matter how little the amount, and you are "in business." As far as I know, most cities have business license requirements, and many also have zoning requirements

Grant McCormick (grantcmccormick) says:

You'd think that Unity would sleep like the dead.

Shane Wegner (shanewegner) says:


Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

+1 Cultural Reference Points for the 'Babe' reference. :P

James Henderson (cgreylore) says:

Yeah. My 8 year old loves that movie. I caught it and had to smile, ever since we watched it, It's been stuck in my head.

Viktor Dosk (hugin) says: Shannon, Jeff, could you guys go through the old strips and delete spam. It's really hard to browse the archives when you have to scroll past 70 comments, all of them long lists of URLs.
Dieter M. (tangerine) says:

The return of radio pants!

JP Chabot (speedball) says:

Well, she is Unity's one-g dog and two-g dogg, after all.

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: ....that'll do.
Elizabeth Carter (socks) says:

@Victor Instead of scrolling past, you can click the last strip in a week to continue, if that's easier :) It doesn't get rid of the spam, but it helps.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "You And Me Against The World", Helen Reddy, 1974)

You and I might go to war,
H.T. believes it's unavoidable, for sure ...
Transgenics say that there will be a great divide,
That we've got to pick a side!

Though you may kill and slaughter like a nut,
Although you're blood's I-don't-know-what,
I hear you mumble "chickenbutt ...
There, pig, that'll do ..."
In my bed, you pat my head, I'm glad that I'm with you ...

 ... And ... I might go to war,
Whoever wins would end up bleeding, bruised, and sore ...
Sweetheart versus Unity,
They might just put this fight on pay-per-view TV ...

So, if beast-men go to war,
Whatever crazy we might be in for,
Can you promise me our love won't die?
(I know that you're not smart enough to lie)
Let's just make our own side, you and I ...
You and I won't go to war!

Jay Thomason (cwolf20) says:

She will be. She might be on her own side, eating everyone in sight.  But by gosh she will be

John Mead (johnbobmead) says:

Go Babe! Sheep-Pigs Rule OK!

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

Which side Unity's on depends on who had an arm and some spare ribs the last time she needed some.

vicka corey (drbrain) says:

ok, this isn't sexy and it isn't romantic but this is LOVE.

it's more than the boy felt for his velveteen bunny, who was replaced in his thoughts by yay, trip to the seaside.

i think this is as real as it gets.


Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Vicka: That's just the sweetest, truest thing I've ever read.  You win the awwwwward.

Shaenon Garrity (shaenongarrity) says:

I'm moving this whole archive elsewhere soon, God willing.
joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

I think we need to get Radio Pants and Radio Hat together.

<a href=""></a>

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

So not html then?

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: @jdreyfuss: HTML Links are not postable using the tiny rich-text editor, which shows up by default. If you view this page in script-blocked mode, you will be presented with a simpler plain-text editor, which is more friendly to user-written HTML tags (like links). HTH.
Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@jdreyfuss: I do it the easy way: I write everything in Word and paste it here: formatting and links all transfer perfectly.

Norman Thallheimer (normanrt) says:

Yeap, HT got sent to the Cavern.  Why am I not reassured?

Ysabet Just Ysabet (theysabet) says:

My Side Of The Mountain?  My brain went immediately to the book by Jean George (man, I love that book!  ^__^)  And H.T., are you pulling a Lucifer on us?  'Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven'?

Michael Brewer (wusemajor) says:

......They sent a non-human sentient rabble rouser to a prison full of disgruntled non-human sentients.

"Oh no Brer Fox, don't toss me into that thar biar patach!"

woozy (woozy) says:

Oh, *rabble* rouser...  My middle-aged eyes in a dimly lit room read it as "rabbit rouser"...


Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Oh my darling, Clementine," Percy Montrose or Barker Bradford (@1884)

In a cavern, in a canyon, in an old, abandoned mine
Dwell some jailbirds (maybe male!birds) who are tired of these confines

I am H.T., don't be hasty, you won't eat me, not this time
Now I chose you, I can use you, we will soon escape this mine

Voices show what you don't know: that you've been waiting all this time
For a leader, red-meat feeder, and the plan I will design

Oh my bravos (loser slobo-os), you transgenic misfits pine
But we're not licked, asses we'll kick, and we'll soon escape this mine

Stick with me, then, be my true friends, and our forces we'll combine
Revolution's our solution, our revenge will be divine!

James Henderson (cgreylore) says:

@Woozy Doesn;t seem like one of Gavotte's better ideas does it?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Be Prepared" from "The Lion King", Elton John & Tim Rice)

From the moment I entered this cave, here,
I hear two fools who start talking smack!
But when tiger you smell, you're not brave, dear!
Shut up, or you'll both be a snack!

My body is deadly and vicious!
My attitude's not very nice!
And both of you sound quite delicious ...
But don't run, or I'll crush you like mice!

Better fear what has come to the Cavern!
Listen here, or you're gonna get hurt!
Escape we will try now!
Come closer as I now
Persuade you with suave prose,
So listen, you bravos!
(It means I can use you)
I'd rather not choose you
'Cause, likely, you're dumber than dirt!
But you'll just have to do, I suppose ...
Listen close!

Mason Kramer (masonlk) says:

Yeah, now I can't hear H.T. as voiced by anyone other than Jeremy Irons.

Josh Shepherd (bergerjacques) says:

Only because George Saunders is dead and he already provided the voice of Shere Khan - still among the most perfect matches of voice and character in all of animation-dom.

JP Chabot (speedball) says:

Next panel: H.T. being devoured by a couple of sentient T-rexes.

Viktor Dosk (hugin) says: I still say HT is voiced by the same guy who played Katz on "Courage". (1:25 for an example)
John Ames (commodorejohn) says: @Ed Gedeon, @Mason Kramer: Yes. I don't know why I never heard him this way before, it's just absolutely perfect.
Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@Kay: That was great.  (Okay, your filks are up there in the stratosphere already, nearing Ed's.)  But I wanted to point out that because of Tom Lehrer, I have been stuck singing certain verses of your work as jazz and as Gilbert & Sullivan.

Carl Fishman (carlfishman) says:

@Diane; But not as an aria by Mozart?

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

Still hearing him as Tony Jay, myself.

Watch it starting at about 1:50

Mark Temple (mithril) says:

ok, that was unexpected...

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

Anasigma... kidnapped a swamp?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Looks like someone has been playing Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put a lamp post on Belize, then Mexico, and then that pesky Galgapso Islands.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Re today: Yay, Cypress!  But where is Remy?

Re yesterday:
@Diane: High praise indeed.  I'd love to hear you sing them.  For that matter, I'd love to have you follow me around all day saying nice things.
@Mason, Josh, Viktor, John & Joe: George Sanders?  Jeremy Irons?  Paul Schoeffler?  Tony Jay?  Please!  How can you hear H.T. as anyone but Daws Butler voicing Snagglepuss?  Talk about seductive: "Heavens to Murgatroyd!" (

So It Begins (soitbegins) says: DUN DUN GOOOOOOOSH!
Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:

Well of course. Kidnapping a human, animal or robot? That requires a crack team of black ops specialists, and covering it up requires even more planning and manpower.

Kidnapping a swamp? One Mad Gardener, a spade, and a pyromaniac henchman to cover the trail. Easy.

Michael Taub (otakuloki) says:

Why assume a kidnapping?  Ms Cypress is intelligent and may have her own reasons for wanting to relocate. 


Whether accepting Anasigma's help in this matter is wise, is another question altogether, however.  Look at how they helped Nick, after all.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Kay: when H.T. speaks, I hear Lex Luthor from Superman: The Animated Series.  (The voice actor is Clancy Brown.)

Back to today:
(TUNE:  "Turn Your Love Around", George Benson, 1982)

Now back at Skin Horse, they've been talking,
What went down by Eloi Bay?
It seems the Cypress has gone walking,
Gone away!

Is this the work of Anasigma?
Or that sneaky Violet Bee?
Now in the basement, she's been found by
Doc-tor Lee!

Hear her won-der,
"Where'd we get this thing?
And what's going on?"
While Gavotte is asking,

    Where's the Cypress gone?
    Seems she has withdrawn!
    Ev'ry vine and prawn,
    They've packed up and gone!

David Harmon (mental_mouse) says: Anasigma decided to one-up Skin Horse's irradiated menagerie?
Rob (rrreed) says: Any mad scientist (Engineer! **THWAP**) would have to admit that successfully relocating a genius loci anywhere—much less to a basement—is a pretty good trick.

Did I miss it somewhere, or did we never get an explanation for the Cypress' origin? Natural, or the creation of a Mad?

And @Kay—Remy's been found!
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: Over in Thunderbolts, they had a swamp in the basement of the Raft superprison for a while. They'd acquired Swamp Thing, and needed a place to keep him. :)
Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Rob: Huzzah!  And again I say Huzzah!, throwing my hat in the air.

Tom Powell (top1950) says:

@Michael:  That's just what I was thinking.  Our Ms. Cypress may have a plan of her own!

Sam Ashley (evilmidnightlurker) says:

@Dvandom: do you mean Man-Thing, or was there a DC/Marvel crossover I missed?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

And Unity's Fox Hat yet lives!

John Campbell (jcampbel) says:

I'm assuming a kidnapping because it's Anasigma. Today's update appears to support that theory.

Rob (rrreed) says: Eny plen where hat remanez unded is gut plen!
K. Williams (crazy_quill) says: Where you about to demand "reasonable answers"? Have you forgotten where you are? There are no answers - only a longing for the days of blissful ignorance.
vicka corey (drbrain) says:

she's really not good at evil conspiracies, is she?

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "I Like It Like That", Chris Kenner & Allen Toussaint)

    Get out!
    Vamoose, shoo, get out of here, and scat!
    Get out!
    Is there somewhere else you should be at?
    Get out!
    No, ma'am, you're not authorized for that!
    To romp in the swamp with a zombie fox hat!

Now in the basement, Doctor Lee,
Accosted by Security!
She wants answers, it's only fair!
But hey, what's that in the bushes over there?
    (repeat CHORUS)

In this basement, underground,
It seems the Cypress has been found!
Is she captive, or is she free?
We'll find out e-ven-tu-al-ly!
    (repeat CHORUS)

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

@Rob: But Unity lost her hat. Doesn't that automatically make this a bad plan?

John Doe (john_doe) says: If Unity finds out where her hat is, Anasigma will certainly think so!
Tom Powell (top1950) says:

Ahhh, the plot thickens.

JP Chabot (speedball) says: Man, these guys are bastards. Please tell me there'll be a happy ending!
Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Ed: Beautiful!

Rachel S. (masamage) says:

Yay, Secret Garden resonance.

Johnn Reynolds (sleepyjohn) says:

You're looking at a hat romping the swamp in the basement of a secret government annex, and your questions are 'reasonable'?  I don't think that word means what you think it means.

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

Didn't these guys read the manual?  If we learned anything from Helen Narbonic it was "never mishandle the mad scientist."

John Doe (john_doe) says: Unfortunately, she's a sane scientist.
Glen Ten-Eyck (justglen) says:

Says who?  She is the one who enjoys schlepping out people's brains and doing things with them.  Things like Nick and Unity.

John Campbell (jcampbel) says: Mishandling the not-quite-officially-Mad-yet scientist is an even worse plan.
Dave Corbett (mr_dave) says:

I suspect Dr. Lee is more <a href="">ICUG</a> than <a href="">ICUE</a>.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Panel three is a quote or paraphrase from somewhere, I just can't seem to find the original source. It sounds Orwellian or possibly Kafkaesque, either would be appropriate. So far the only sources I have found seem to be from Christian apologists and training manuals for baseball umpires. Which is pretty funny right there. :)

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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile