(TUNE: "The Letter", The Box Tops) (AKA "My Baby Wrote Me A Letter")
Can't just sit around, we don't have time to waste! To the airport, gotta make haste! We'll be leaving soon On our honeymoon! Our flight will leave in an hour!
We always run into a long delay, Freaking out workers of the TSA! I'm a carry-on! I'm not carrion! Our flight will leave in an hour!
Yes, a flight we'll be taking, And we're gonna be baking On some sunny beach! Nick, he tries to picture It, then he's getting sicker! He's needing some bleach For his brain, yeah!
If our marriage license you can't notarize, Nobody sucks more than you guys! Time to say good-bye, head! Gonna fly United! Our flight will leave in an hour!
I'm a little worried about what's going to happen to the Skin Horse offices. When Unity daydreams it's like pressure building up under a volcano, the longer it builds the bigger the explosion.
The TSA guys are going to be really creepied out when they have to pat her.
Frank (pokefan_frank) says:
@JP Chatbot: Blueberry Waffles
Rob (rrreed) says:
@Andrew—maybe not. Since Skin Horse apparently takes place in the Narbonibrane, Weirdness Censor rules are in effect. The TSA guys might see the two of them as one woman with a bad case of scoliosis.
@woozy: Didn't Unity already "Tip over" in the "Sandwich Day" bonus story? *rimshot*
@pokefan_frank: I thought of that, too, but "Blueberry waffles" usually causes her to grimace in pain, not freeze with a creepily vacant smile on her face like she's doing here. I suspect this is from something else, but I don't know what.
@queenofcapes: Oo, yeah, maybe. Like "Blueberry waffles!" suspends her aggression patterns, and "Cheese danish!" or whatever it is makes her whole brain go to screen saver. Good call.
Viktor Dosk (hugin) says:
Maybe this will be incentive enough to get Dr Lee to remove his wordfilter? If that thing's causing actual problems, instead of just eliminating his basic rights, it needs to go.
...I look at them and I keep thinking that they need to sew the one's head onto the other's neck. That would probably cause its own problems, but still.
They gotta go catch a flight! But man, this isn't right ... A pain in the neck, like we ain't seen before! Now they're offended! Langi's picking her up, And they're heading right out the door!
Now, Nick can't properly swear! And Unity's just sitting there, Not doing a thing; Moustachio's run down his spring! This flocking swear filter, Is a little off-kilter, The zingers have lost their sting!
Oh-h, there they go! Called them names, they think you're sick! Oh-h, there they go, Called 'em head-toters! Oh-h, there they go! Dammit, Nick, you're such a dick! Oh-h, there they go, Called 'em head-toters!
Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says:
Ever since "hug" became the default swear-filter replacement for a certain four-letter word, it adds weird subtext to a LOT of otherwise innocent sites.
Huh. As a gubmint worker periodically in a slightly analagous position to Our Heroes, I have to wonder. As a Federally Funded Agency, Skin Horse would be required to abide by the Pub 13 regs on discrimination...but who would they get to do the audits when someone calls them on it? Do they have to give out the Pub 13 fliers when working with a new client? Do they feel the familiar frisson of fear when Gavotte happens to mention that the Pub13 compliance guys will be coming to visit the office to check on their procedures?
Discrimination based on disability, of course as everyone knows, is covered under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act.
(I'm sorry, I know that's the PS238 term, but "Barry Ween chip" just sounds better than "profanity filter." So suck it up, you [fruiting] [cheeseballs].)
I make my co-workers nervous, They're allergic to me! As far as customer service, That was terrible, see? If someone were to observe us, They'd give us an "F", not a "bee"!
Take a cussword and bend it ... Nick is calling me Ma'am! That wasn't what he intended, But I don't give a gram! Unity sits there, contented, Having a daydream of ham!
And she's not ... afraid ... of those stings ... Did you know ... she likes breaking things?
She says, "Say what? What's that? I'm sorry ..." She just said she's sorry! Said she's sorry ...
I can't stand it, I don't really care, all right? Enough! You've been talking 'bout this sitcom, from last night ... it's rough! I don't really care what's on the air, all right? No bluff ... enough!
Well, you're telling me all the details ... I wish I could get rid, 'Cause I just don't care 'bout who went where, Or what she said he said and did! See, I had a date, and it ran kinda late, Had a threesome with these twin brunettes ... But in poor Sweetheart's case, I guess "Melrose Place" Is as int'resting as it gets ...
But she keeps telling what was on the air last night! Enough! Same ol' same ol', it's so corny, lame, and trite! Just fluff! All the details, you relate with great delight! It's rough! I don't have a care about what aired last night! Dumb stuff ... enough!
Well, we're lookin' for som mem'ry, And anything else down here too. And I'm worried you've imprinted, But I'm trying to play it cool. I'm cross-dressed in latest fashions, And you can give me missions every day. But there's just one thing, That I have to say,
I don't watch daytime soap operas So don't feel you have to share. No, I don't warch daytime soap operas, That's enough, 'Cause, Sweetheart, I don't care!
Seconding Daniel. Especially because I enjoy the absurd cover-ups Nick uses instead of curses, so missing out on that *and* hearing him use a pretty heinous slur is a double disappointment.
"Tranny" wasn't always considered a slur: I had transvestite friends who claimed it for themselves. However, we shouldn't use it if it is now seen as derogatory. Is there an acceptable, affectionate alternative? "Tranny" had the advantage of applying to cross-dressers generally, whether transgendered or just transvestite (it isn't always obvious). What are people calling themselves these days?
It could be that Nick's swear filter doesn't consider many new urban dictionary terms, even if tranny might be in there. He could probably say "two girls one cup" without any problems.
I think it's in-character for Nick to call Tip a "tranny", and it would kind of make sense for the programmers of the language filter to overlook it because it's a slur rather than a regular swear word. Still kinda icky. Perhaps his language filter software needs a patch. As for its slur value, it's the kind of thing where it's perfectly fine to say it if it applies to you, but if it doesn't then trying to use it is a dicey proposition.
As for being expandable to both "transgender" and "transvestite", it seems like the most popular term these days is just "trans", which has that covered automatically. Sometimes people put an asterisk on the end, which does add emphasis to the fact that it can be expanded to different things but it might also get mistaken for a footnote marker or make people's code cough up hairballs.
Guess I'm out of touch. The only time I've even heard the word 'tranny' used was in reference to a car's transmission. "I stripped a gear last night and now I have to change the tranny in the old Chevy."
Yeah, I'm old and from the sticks. Still, I know our beloved authors wouldn't use it to offend anyone.
I can't think of a short positive term exclusively for transsexuals (Sexies just isn't specific enough), though 'Vesties' suggests itself for transvestism. It's so happy and peppy I have a hard time imagining anyone using it as a slur being taken seriously.
[quickly reviews the "Borrowers" story, then gets half way to Sweetheart's "rampage" before managing to put SH v. 1 down, and notes someone else has posted]
Hmm, a good point from the School of Wierd and Unusual Science and Engineering!
Why do I get the feeling that karaoke isn't going to save Tip this time?
Viktor Dosk (hugin) says:
Ugh, hope this is just for a week. I wasn't a fan of "Borrowers" first time around, redoing it would really annoy me.
(TUNE: "It's Only Rock'n'Roll (But I Like It), The Rolling Stones)"
On the lower level, sayin' "What the devil?" And wonderin' what to do ... Talkin' 'bout the soaps, but Tip just sits 'n' mopes, Seems the fellow's feelin' blue ... Feelin' blu-u-ue!
Stuck in these odd things, these crystal pod things, Lettin' Tip have his wish ... But he won't start 'bout Dr. Jones or Artie ... Strange, because he loves to dish! Loves to di-i-ish!
Because, you see ... the crystal entity Doesn't like us! You see ... the crystal entity Doesn't like us, like us, no they don't! Oh, they don't like us ... don't like us ... don't like us ... Now we're trapped again! Crystal pods are such a butt-pain!
My dear friends, do you want to be more charming than others! Just come in please!
Coach online shopping could be in no way distinctive this due to the fact the powerpoint demonstration of your material is undoubtedly prevalent. Numerous potential purchasers attempt to coach bags as well as you could possibly get your travelling bag that should certainly carry on for quit some time. Coach factory.
@hugin: That's always one of the variables of fandom, I guess. The "Borrowers" storyline was one of my favorites. And the "Tin Soldier"/"Brave Little Toasters" storyline, which I didn't enjoy nearly as much, was almost certainly someone else's favorite. C'est la vie.
tune: "Glenn Beck is batsh*t crazy," Katie Goodman & Soren Kisel (Broad Comedy, 2010, www.broadcomedy.com/videos) While you're there, watch the video for "I didn't f*ck it up." Katie Goodman is too brilliant!
Well, we went to get Moustachio Some new memory Went down to Lower Storage Just Sweetheart and me
Now the entities of crystal Play catch and release This happened once before, When I tried to make peace
The crystals rule an empire Of beasts small and large My efforts to unite them Put these lunatics in charge
Crystal pods (crystal pods) Crystal pods (crystal pods) They are [clap, clap] batcrap crazy Crystal pods (crystal pods) Crystal pods (crystal pods) They are [clap, clap] batcrap crazy We've got some odd sub-basement species, but the worst, you'll agree Is this random-batcrap-crazy entity
(TUNE: "Release Me", Eddie Miller, Robert Yount, and Dub Williams)
We release you, you may go; Our be-ne-fi-cience we will show! Of course, we captured you as well, To show we are crazier than hell!
We've learned so many useful tricks From all your surface politics ... We've locked folks up because we could, And then they were killed for their own good!
Our lunacy will overflow, Like Tom Cruise did on Oprah's show! The nut-ti-est that's ever been ... We'll try to out-crazy Charlie Sheen!
We'll study well your government To make our minds completely bent, And then we'll maybe get a show Each weekday, on AM radio!
John Ames (commodorejohn) says:
Panel 1 Sweetheart is just adorable.
Hia guys. Sorry for not addressing your concerns about Thursday's strip in a more timely fashion; Shaenon and I have been in transit to and in programming related to Intervention pretty hard-core these past few days and I haven't been able to monitor or update the site in the usual way. I literally just read of your concerns a few minutes ago.
Nick's use of language, is, of course, Nick's, and it does not reflect the views of the authors of this strip; above and beyond that, however, I thought in writing it that it was a casual, if slightly vulgar and inaccurate, abbreviation-slang on Nick's part. I apologize for my obliviousness in this regard and having inadvertently written an actual slur. The strip will be edited to remove the offending language as soon as Shaenon's back home and has access to her machines and files and such.
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