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Smithson Thus Far... ·

Daily
68 comments:
Viktor Dosk (hugin) says: Polish up Unity's WHAT, exactly? Days when she doesn't EAT someone Skin Horse is trying to help are successes. While yes, they should attempt to make her less of a dead weight, she should really just not be allowed to interact with clients.
Rob (rrreed) says: That Unity misinterpreted Gavotte's words didn't surprise me. That she could eat a chair without first forcibly disassembling it did.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Like a Prayer", Madonna)

Hello there, Unity,
Please kindly wipe your feet ...
You want to talk to me?
Come in and have a seat ...

CHORUS:
    When I'm client-ing, it seems I'm kinda bad,
    I take a little bite, that always makes 'em mad!
    As I take a seat, I'll have a bite to eat,
    Now I'll nosh on wood, because you said I could!
   
I like to kill ... remember Plasma Adam?
With social skill, I think we will
Lose less clients ...
Some manners, too ... I really wish I had 'em!
So as I chew, I'll learn from you,
Social science!
    (repeat CHORUS)

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says: "It's not bad...a little too sweet though."
Rex Vivat (sirgarberto) says:

"public deportment"?

Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

Deportment (Noun): "the manner in which a person behaves, esp in physical bearing"

I have the feeling eating the furniture isn't the best start although this being Unity, things could always be worse.

Mark V (markv) says:

Has Gavotte's office always been this tiki?

Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

Probably more so, depending on the style of chair that got chomped.

M. Alan Thomas II (crazydreamer) says:

This is not going to end well. (Obviously.)

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

tune: "Valerie," Steve Winwood (Talking Back to the Night, 1982, www.youtube.com/watch?v=anCg5EiB2AM)

Sounds like good money: two dollars, fifty cents
Not a bad payoff for stamping documents
To earn my keep, not just leg-sweep
Show integrity, I've always known I could
I'll serve our customers (Soon's I'm done nomming wood)
Put that stamp in my hand now, watch me thump on those forms

Notary! I'll be M's proxy notary
Can't you see me, taking responsibility

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Consequence Free", Great Big Sea)

Wouldn't it be cool, if I could notarize some bills now?
I could do like M, and be as useful as all hell!
Be responsible, and learn brand new social skills now,
Protocol, integrity, and avarice as well!

CHORUS:
     I wanna be ... a notary!
     Helping make me ... a useful public servant,
     I wanna be ... a notary,
     Going stamp, stamp stamp stamp, cha-cha-ching, cha-ching!

Wouldn't it be fine, if I could charge the people money?
Countersign and stamp stuff, at two-fifty a pop?
Such a simple thing, and get paid!  It's almost funny!
I could learn to stamp stuff (but not learn when to stop!)
     (repeat CHORUS)

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

I believe Gavotte has deliberately selected a tropical motif for her office.  Probably to compliment it being a greenhouse stocked with tropical plants that are in bloom all year 'round.  A swarm gotta eat, y'know.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

I can't quite decide whether Gavotte has a British or a Polynesian voice. Maybe even Australian.

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

I always assumed she had a French accent, since when she's formally addressed, it's as M. Gavotte.

Jennifer Brock (jennibrock) says:

It depends on whether or not her bees have become Africanized.

Glenn Gorsuch (glenn) says:

Avarice IS a most useful tool in the aresenal of a bureaucrat!

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

ALL tools are useful in the hands of an expert bureaucrat.  Avarice, gluttony, sloth, ...

Brian Rogers (billionsix) says:

I always imagined Gavotte having a sort of proper Mary Poppins sound. Ever since she said "Spit-spot" in one of the older strips.

Mary Potts (queenofcapes) says:

So, is this going to be Unity's version of going to Law School, like her genetic predecessor? 

David Hughes (miserichord) says:

Remember, there's more involved than just stamping stuff, you also have to keep accurate records of what and when you stamp.

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

Gavotte knows perfectly well that Unity won't develop integrity, protocol or responsibility.  What's she up to?

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

And is that a map of Hawaii on the wall in panel two?

Joe Smigiel (camelwalking) says:

She went with the tiki motif to commemorate the untimely passing of her Don the Beachcomber photo.

Cesario VIola (cesarioviola) says:

Collecting Tiki memorobilia is in Gavotte's bio. 

Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

See, when I hear "Tiki", I immediately think of Hei-tiki. Which are way more fashionable (and the REAL ones, not the touristy ones, are really culturally significant here in good ol' New Zealand). Still, everyong needs a hobby, and there are far worse things an extremely intelligent swarm of bees could be doing.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Maybe Unity should be paid in Superballs?

Viktor Dosk (hugin) says: It wouldn't surprise me if Sweetheart had put all of Unity's income except her share of the rent into investments.
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: The "Colonel Bogey" March, anonymous)
(also used as the theme song for "The Bridge On The River Kwai")

Stamping ... could buy me Superballs!
Damn thing ... could garner quite a haul,
I would ... buy more if I could!
I'd make our place all filled up wall to wall!

Sweetheart ... knows how our money's spent!
She goes ... and pays this thing called "rent".
Money ... makes me act funny,
And Sweetheart knows this!  I'm so dis-content!

Still I ... have got my dream house planned!
Always ... I would have balls at hand!
Tip says ... things called "entendres",
But claims I'm no fun, I don't un-derstand!

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

Well, yeah.  Unity should be cheap to feed, she can scavenge her own food.  In fact, she'd probably prefer it.

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

If I didn't have to worry about rent, food, and gas, I'd probably spend all my money on superballs too.

Glenn Gorsuch (glenn) says:

It's sort of depressing for me to have noticed, but the Superballs of my youth bounced MUCH higher than the ones of today do.  And no, its not just that I was shorter then. 

Bring back our better Superballs!

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Unity mistakes a Dragon Ball for a Superball and then promptly beats up the Dragon in two minutes, shocking everyone who's used to month-long fights.

Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

But UNITY likes Superballs for their chewiness, bounce is secondary. :)

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

@Brain: 'scavenge her own food'?  Yeah, but that's why their mail carriers never get back to the post office.

Edwin Quantrall (reynard) says:

@ Ed: Everything that you could possibly want to know about the Colonel Bogey March: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonel_Bogey_March

(I like it because it's so whistleable.)

Jennifer Brock (jennibrock) says:

Surprised she doesn't call them "supperballs."

Taylor Burdette (bigtentacruel) says: You know who should be in Idaho? Konstantin.
Rob (rrreed) says: It's even simpler when you're living in your own private Idaho…
Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

(TUNE: "Something", The Beatles)

Somehow, your employer knew
That you would want to be a notary ...
Somehow, she knew what to do ...
And soon you'll be busy, see?
You'll be as a bee can be!
(bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzzzzzzzzzz ...)

Somewhere you will have to go,
Though you can fill out forms while you're enroute ...
Somewhere, where potatoes grow ...
And soon you will have to scoot
Way up to the Bitterroot!
(bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzzzzzzzzzz ...)

     This voucher tells you where to go:
     Idaho, Idaho!
     It's rather pretty there, you know ...
     Idaho, Idaho!

Off to Boise, way up there,
With snow-capped mountains, lovely scenery,
Not too noisy, good fresh air ...
It's simple as it can be
For fed'ral bureaucracy!
(bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzzzzzzzzzz ...)

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Idaho: Zombie-free since 1733.

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

... that's pre-revolution.  Zombie free for longer than the United States has existed?

Other notable things about Idaho: potatoes.

... but something about the place made Hemmingway eat his shotgun.  (Of course, he did move there from Key West, Florida.)

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

See that's why they need a lawyer on staff. All lawyers are notaries. Also the legal consultation thing. Would a transgenic badger be too obvious a pun?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Why? Do we have a snake and mushroom problem?

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

@Bryan: You forget that there Native American people living all over North America before the United States exist. I'm sure there are tales about their great-great-great ancestors dealing with zombie mammoths.

Rob (rrreed) says: I wonder of the Bureau of Precambrian Defense has ever had to deal with a zombie shoggoth…
Jared Anderson (the_shrike) says:

"Idaho's safe and dull......until you get there" is probably a more accurate thing to say to Unity.

Andrew Kunz (ampersand888) says:

Idaho: We're not dull, we keep getting bullied into submission by Montana.
Idaho: We're calmer than Oregon and saner than Washington.
Idaho: We'd be Canadian, but we don't want to get confused with Saskatchewan.

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

@Andrew -- Idaho: You da man!

(TUNE: "Fool On The Hill", The Beatles)

I'm tellin' my dogg, "Just so you know,
To Idaho I go solo, though it's totally slow!"
It's terribly unexciting,
('Cept for noshing on someone's skull...)
To Sweetheart, it sounds inviting
'Cause it's to-o-tal-ly dull!
Even duller than tax,
And the te-di-um there
Helps a body relax!

There you will see, fun doesn't end ...
A fellow from Pocatello saying "Hello, my friend!"
You see it in all their faces
That their lives are content and full ...
Come watch the potato races
'Cause it's to-o-tal-ly dull!
And I think you'll agree
That it's duller than dull,
Like a ten-forty-D!

Dave Van Domelen (dvandom) says: To heck with the "little death," Sweetheart's more interested in the "little taxes"!
Grant McCormick (grantcmccormick) says:

Idaho: Only state to have a Dune character named after it.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

Yesterday at Narbonic, Andrew Cole said "as much as I like the spam-free comment threads [I] miss being able to respond to . . . other people . . . without having to wait for a moderator."  While I share his annoyance, I think the spam has become so unbearable that I'd like to see moderated comments here, too.  What do other people think?

Shane Wegner (shanewegner) says:

I don't mind the wait. I prefer moderators to crush the spam.

Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:

Yeah, spam is funny when it coincidentally has bearing on the strip in question and someone is able to contribute a witty reply but generally spam sucks.

Speaking of the strip in question, one wonders what the water cooler percieves it's parts as. Perhaps it knows it's dispensing water, but likes to think of it as... other... fluids. If I were stuck as a water cooler, I'd probably get a perverse pleasure out of that as well!

Brian Petery (ugwump) says:

The link failed.

Not Found

The requested URL /shaenongarrity/skinhorse/www.skin-horse.com was not found on this server.

Apache/2.2 Server at www.webcomicsnation.com Port 80

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

"Paradise City", Guns 'n' Roses

CHORUS:
    Let me work as a notary public!
    Be responsible, not a pony one-trick!
    I ... know ... how!  (Oh yeah, you taught me how!)
    Let me work as a notary public!
    Let me earn some bread, let me fill my stomach!
    I ... know ... how!  (Oh yeah, you taught me how!)

I'm a zombie with a two-tone head!
I'm an undead working as a Fed!
I wanna notarize stuff, believe it what I said!
I'll take responsibility ...
That's what Sweetheart's teachin' to me!

In our office, it takes all types!
You gotta ... do your job, where no one gripes!
We hire sentient creatures of every stripe!
See the water cooler we employ?
Service is her only joy!

    (repeat CHORUS)

Ed Gedeon (eddurd) says:

The link to the main page is just plain ol' ...

http://skin-horse.com/

 

joe dreyfuss (jdreyfuss) says:

I thought the Cadillac spider robot was also its joy now? Incidentally, I almost typed 'her joy.' This comic is infecting my subconscious now.

Diane Castle (deecee) says:

Hey, I'll bet the water cooler would make a better notary public than Unity.

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: @Kay, and heck, @everyone... Haven't made a big hullabaloo about this yet, as we're still ironing out some of the kinks, but in advance of an official announcement here, if y'all would direct your browsers back to The Skin Horse Main URL, you will find that the old WCN tooncast page has been replaced by a snazzy new Wordpress site that, amongst other things, has an integrated comment engine. We're actually going to be phasing out commentary here with the hopes that people will move their comments to the new site, which seems to be slightly better-protected than this one. Hope to see y'all there!

Updated: Argh, you'd think I would have got a handle on the difference between absolute and relative links by now, but in my defense, it was real early. It should work now.
Joyce Melton (halfelven) says:

Not cool, Jeff, unless linking from embedded cartoons takes you to the new site, too, because this is where I end up when clicking on the embedded cartoons.

Kay Gilbert (kaygilbert) says:

@Jeff: I guess this is my last comment here, so, Hooray!  Any chance of a similar move for Narbonic: Director's Cut?

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: Hey, Joyce, I'm not sure I 100% understand the problem you're having. Shoot me an e-mail at channing squiggly-a powercom period net and we'll try to make it right.
Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: @Kay: I haven't heard anything about a new site being in the cards for Narbonic. You might want to ask over there, though!
Woof Arf (woofnarf) says:

It's insulting that *goodcheapshop* doesn't even offer any Skinhorse items...

Matthew Mather (madtinkerer) says:

Now you guys just need to change the link from the dropdown menu at Narbonic.com. Unless you're going to upgrade that site as well, anyway.

Stacia J (stacia123) says:

I admit I don't fully understand the spam discussion above, all I know is that today that the new Monday strip was not here, but it WAS on skin-horse.com

So we should change our bookmarks to skin-horse.com?  Was there an announcement somewhere I missed?

Jeffrey Channing Wells (channing) says: @Stacia J: Sorry, this has all been coming down rather fast. Yes, please, update your bookmarks to the main site, Skin-Horse.com. Updates have been phased out on WCN, and will continue over there. Hope to see you on the new site!
Frank (pokefan_frank) says: This was a pretty good strip to end on to end the run on WebcomicsNation I mean. On to Idaho! the Main Site!
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The education bestowed on Shaenon K. Garrity by her parents had been expensive, athletic and prolonged. ... full profile