Don't stop!  Not even for gas!

Updated often enough.

Striking writers slow down Hollywood machine ANGELES

(Reuters) - Hollywood screenwriters went on strike against major film and television studios on Monday, knocking some of America's favorite TV shows out of production in a dispute that hinges on how the Internet is changing the face of show business.  Some 12,000 members of the Writers Guild of America walked off the job starting at 12:01 a.m. EST (0501 GMT) after last-ditch talks with a federal mediator collapsed, setting the stage for the first major Hollywood work stoppage in nearly 20 years. 

The WGA attempted to issue a written statement but then thought better of it.  Said a chief WGA spokesperson “We at the WGA feel that… uh… I don’t remember what I wanted to say.  I’m sorry, I should have written this down.”

Writers like Tina Fey and Julia Louie-Dreyfuss joined the picketers in protest.  Said Fey “We put our pens down yesterday, and we will not write until negotiations resume.”  Fey continued “I mean, whatever.  I can act too, you know.”

Producers have been stockpiling episodes in preparation, with enough to ride out the strike until January, or even February.  After that, networks will have to rely on news, sports, reality shows and security cam footage.  Stay tuned for “Greater Fort Mills Area Mall, JC Penny Footage, May 8, 3pm-6pm” on Fox this February.

Chief studio negotiator Nick Counter said that digital distribution is too experimental and thus producers are too reluctant to make higher residuals.  Counter tried to write a letter but quickly discovered that he was illiterate.  “I just always relied on these writers.  You know, I used to rent the movie versions for book reports in high school.  Weird.”

Currently, no further negotiations are scheduled.  No one seems to be willing or able to write down a time.

Ultimately television executives are not worried.  Said one “We could just start re-running all of television from the start and you people would watch it.  I feel good about myself.”

Originally printed years ago in the SUNY Fredonia Leader.

Children's obesity rates vary greatly in L.A. County,1,2944595.story?coll=la-headlines-california

Obesity rates for children in low-income communities with few parks are up to nine times higher than for children in affluent areas with abundant recreational access, according to a new report that analyzes childhood obesity in the cities and communities of Los Angeles County.

The rates ranged from a low of 4% in Manhattan Beach, which has a median income of $100,750 and 5.7 acres of green space per 1,000 people, to 37% in Maywood, where the median income is $30,480 and 0.6 of an acre per 1,000 people is devoted to recreation.

And if there’s one thing we need to combat in this country, is kids not being pretty enough in Los Angeles. 

The problem stems from children in poor areas eating more high caloric food and lacking in large park facilities as compared to those in rich areas.  According to county Public Health Officer Dr. Jonathan E. Fielding "We also know there is a clear correlation between living in areas with limited access to park and recreational facilities. The kids in the poorer neighborhoods often eat chips and soda instead of fruits and vegetables, in part, because it's cheaper per calorie." And the kids in rich areas have plastic surgeons who’ll suck the fat right out of them.  So really, who are we kidding?

Are rich kids really eating that much more healthy food, like fruits and vegetables?  I mean, that French Tartiflette is pretty high in fats and carbohydrates.  Someone tell the personal chef that he’s killing our kids!

Considering that the rich LA kids most likely have trainers who work with them in their basement gym, most rich-kid area parks are left unused and unattended.  The solution, therefore, is bussing.  We must bus the poor kids in from their poor-kid areas to the rich-kid areas and let them run around.  The great thing about this idea is that if there are enough poor kids running around, a rich-kid area eventually becomes a poor-kid area and then they get all the park space they could ever want.

This recipe originated in the Savoie region of the French Alps, where it became popularized at ski resorts!  Full of potatoes, rich cheeses and smoky bacon, this hearty dish should be served with a crisp white wine for a fun, Alpine-themed dinner!

1 comment:
Bridget Fitzgerald (smileybridge) says: I love the chewy growl!  Yesssss!
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Michael Short ||   

Michael Short is an actor an improvisor based out of New York. ... full profile