Eight: At Home with the Pleasants!
This is Mary Sue Pleasant, your Monday/Wednesday/Friday four-to-seven. I need to make an appointment to arrange some additional family group counseling, preferably something that will focus on self-actualizing meditation and anger displacement. Can we realize that, please? One of my daughters is losing her center, and I'm not sure I'm capable of reinstating her body-mind-spirit connection.
Lilith came home very late this afternoon, knowingly disregarding the behavior boundaries established at our last family healing circle. Daniel was very confrontational about her absence from the home, I'll admit, but she violated the safe space of their conversation by very aggressively evoking the memories of Daniel's trust betrayal last summer.
Dr. Mills, we have had some VERY intense spiritual retraining since The Incident, and a valuable element of that healing process has been the forgiveness of past transgressions. Angela and I have forgiven Daniel for surrendering his mind to his nature, and feel Lilith is retarding the process through her actions.
I have accepted my husband's trust betrayal as acting out. We've resolved the matter. He will no longer express his frustrations through infidelity, and I will no longer push silverware into his urethra while he sleeps. Maturity and rationality, you see? Something I've come to believe Lilith may be incapable of.
After the encounter on the lawn, Lilith sowed further discord by appropriating the stereo. My Whale Songs of the Crystal Jungle CD is a very valuable centering object, Dr. Mills, and I still can't find it. This is NOT the first time Lilith has expressed subconscious contempt for my spiritual well-being.
Lilith's music was so loud, in fact, that Angela came all the way downstairs from her sleeping space expressly to communicate dissatisfaction with the home-aura. Lilith denied the concern very insensitively.
You must understand, Dr. Mills, that my True Soul Self loves both of my daughters with equal, Earth Mother fierceness. However, my Anger Mask will occasionally refer to my daughter as "a fat ungrateful whore." This is something I'm working on.
I feel my resentment may stem from being passed over for pep squad in middle school. It was very damaging. I'd like to talk about that next session, if I might.
Oh, yes, and Lilith ran off that night. I suppose.
I was having a peace retreat in the bath about that time, and then it was straight to bed with my dream journal, so I hadn't actually noticed, you see. But she must have attempted escape from the issues, as a policeman drove her home the next morning.
He yelled at me, too. The policeman, I mean. It was extremely violating. Can you bullet-point that in for next session?
She had acted out while outside the homespace in a very immature and aggressive manner, which I do not appreciate. I expressed my disapproval from behind my Anger Mask again, I'm afraid. I don't quite remember what was communicated, but it involved the spread of pubic lice. Lilith, who rarely manages to center, is still incapable of resolving my Anger Mask, so she withdrew from the dialogue. We'll have to work on her.
Now, I am never one to quash self-expression, however radical it may be when compared to societal standards, but I truly cannot understand the motivation behind Lilith's act. I attempted to comprehend her statement by urging her to be more like her sister, Angela, or regard how she might be perceived in the oftentimes cruel public school environment. Out of true and complete concern, I asked her if she'd been ingesting harmful base metals. I ventured the theory that she spends quite a lot of time in the stalls of public restrooms with her face pressed against the partitions, so accidental exposure via flaking paint would be quite likely. Unfortunately, I received no answer. Lilith's psyche-walls seem sturdier than ever.
I blame television.
As things currently stand, my only hope for my daughter is her one friend, a neighborhood girl belonging to a charmingly prolific family. Her father, Basil, is a very, very, very gracious individual, so I've come to know her rather well during my numerous visits to their shared homespace. Basil must very often crave the company of his own kind, so I tend to make myself readily available to him.
The girl, Coda, seems to have quite overcome her natural disadvantages and attained numerous scholastic distinctions. This includes admission to Pleasantview Prep, which I'm told has no quota policy to otherwise explain her presence. What progressive times we live in!
The girls spend an awful lot of time together, which is reassuring. I can only hope this tentative bond may encourage Lilith to branch out further, better herself, and improve her grades enough to earn a scholarship to the local university. My Anger Mask can't possibly comprehend what she might do with her life, but urges me to allow her to spread her wings as soon as is legally possible.
By the way, have you got the time for a extra session on Thursday evening? My rosebushes are beginning the dying process, and I'll be needing to confront my grief.
I think I just need some ME time.