Second and last page of "The Muse and I". The story was meant to go that Nikki'd had an imaginary friend when she was a child ... she even had old crayon drawings of the two of them (he looked a bit different, because she hadn't discovered anime as a child). But her parents got worried about her and gave her trouble over it, so while they were playing hide-and seek, she shut him in her closet and forgot about him. She felt bad after, but when she opened it he was gone.
Flash ahead to sixteen-year-old Nikki, finally mentally ready to have an imaginary friend again. He emerges as an elfish anime bishie, due to her/my acting infatuation with all things male and effeminate. She promotes him to her personal "muse" rather than imaginary friend (I know that's a discrepancy here ... I would have changed it had I ever finished the story).
It was supposed to be a sweet story and a little nudge to the fact that even then, my mind didn't like to separate fact from fiction that well. The characters in my head would sit with me in class, their stories would run through my mind at all times, sorting, plotting and acting out their fictional roles on an almost constant basis.
This is the core of why "Nikki" must always be myself ... she and her story are drawn from my life, from the way my imagination builds on the world around me, from the person I desire to be and through desire, might eventually become. That is why she, and everyone else, changes with each incarnation of the story. You've just seen the High School incarnation of Randomly Bemused. Next, we move on to Post-High-School-Pre-College.